The Party, 1:26
The Sixth Years cleared out slowly. Soon, the only people left were the Lily, Marlene, Harley, Zoe, the Marauders, and one Fifth Year boy who was fast asleep on one of the couches.
The conscious eight were talking in a little circle, discussing relevant and important topics while they passed around a single bottle of Firewhiskey.
"I got a question," James asked, taking a swig from the bottle. "For the girls."
"Yes, we wear each other's bras," Zoe said, taking the bottle from him and swaying slightly.
"No," James rolled his eyes. "Why the fuck do you wear high heels but then complain about having to wear them?"
"Because they make our legs look better," Lily answered.
"How?"
"'Dunno, they just look longer."
"But what if they make you taller than a bloke?" Peter asked.
Harley wrapped her arms around Peter's shoulders. "Oh, Peanut, we'll never be too tall for you." She kissed him on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. Peter blushed. They passed the bottle around some more.
"I'm bored," Marlene complained.
"We can play spin the bottle," Sirius suggested with a roguish wink, waving the now empty bottle in the air.
"No," Remus said, taking the bottle from him and setting it on a table not far from their circle.
"You ruin my fun, Moony."
Zoe had been reading the back label of the bottle when she suddenly gasped and looked to each of them.
"I have an idea!"
"Shoot," James said.
"Mr. Teen Hogwarts!"
Their eyes went wide.
"No one at Hogwarts has done that since Fabian and Gideon Prewett," Marlene pointed out.
"Let's do it!"
After the girls ran up to their dorm to get a trunk full of "supplies". Lily insisted they each take a sobriety potion ("So that we won't die"). Unfortunately, the closest thing they had was Harley's headache tonic, but they made do and split half of it eight ways. With slightly clearer heads, the eight of them used the Marauder's Map to get out of the castle and down to the lake. They walked around the perimeter to reach the dock, which was fairly far away from the castle, and hoped no one could hear them. They set up the trunk and remaining Firewhiskey bottles on the dock, and quickly agreed that Zoe and Peter would be the emcees for the evening.
"Welcome! Come one, come all, to the twenty-third somewhat-annual Mr. Teen Hogwarts Beauty Pageant!" Peter said loudly. The rest of them cheered, clapping their hands above their heads.
"Tonight," Zoe said, "we will see the dashingness that is James Potter…"
James bowed low while Marlene, Harley, and Lily cheered. He caught Lily's eye on his way up and winked, and she blushed in response.
"…Remus Lupin…"
Remus bashfully grinned, his cheeks red mostly from the amount of alcohol he'd ingested earlier, but he waved to the girls.
"…and Sirius Black!"
Sirius raised both arms and waved, blowing kisses to the nonexistent crowd in front of him.
"The theme of this year's competition is "evening wear," Peter informed them.
"Marlene, you will be Remus's stylist. Harley, you Sirius', and Lily, James,'" Zoe added, a mischievous glint in her eye.
"All outfits can be found in Zoe's Theater Costume Trunk," Peter said. "You have five minutes to dress your contestant, and then be ready for the catwalk… Begin!"
Lily, Marlene, and Harley - giggling like mad - ran to the trunk and popped it open, quickly grabbing handfuls of the first things they saw.
Lily sprinted back to James and dropped the pile of clothing at his feet. She inspected it for maybe ten seconds before looking back up to him.
"Take off your shirt."
"Blimey, Lily, we haven't even gone on our first date yet…"
"James-we-have-four-minutes-just-do-it!"
"And Lily Evans seems to be going 'the more skin, the better' route with her client… no! She adorns him with a bright purple boa, a fab choice," came Zoe's commentary.
"I don't know what Marlene McKinnon is doing, but it's risky. It looks like last season's skirt with this season's wizards hat, but with the right expertise she might be able to pull it off," Peter added without much knowledge of what he was talking about.
"With three minutes left on the clock, Harley Pensky is… taking off her jacket and giving it to Sirius Black. I swear to God, Har, if he rips my jacket-"
"Relax, it'll work!"
The last two minutes were spent in a frenzy as the stylists threw clothing at the models to put on before Peter finally called time.
"And now, would all three contestants line up on the catwalk? First Remus, then James, then Sirius. Begin!"
Peter and Zoe were practically falling over themselves laughing at the sight of the three boys, but they commented their every step down the dock and back.
"Remus Lupin," Zoe reported, "is the rookie for this evening, this being his first pageant, but his stylist definitely knows what she's doing. He's dressed tonight in a lovely pleated black skirt and pink sparkly top, showing off his impressive biceps. On his head is the latest in wizarding headgear, a lovely blue hat with large silver stars adorning it. Plus, large star-shaped sunglasses with the lenses popped out. Fabulous. And Remus Lupin makes his way back, a confident strut. Fabulous," Zoe repeated and giggled into her hand.
"Next up is James Potter," Peter took over, "and Lily Evans has really outdone herself on this veteran to beauty pageants. Shirtless with a purple boa, she's combined this with well-worn jeans rolled up to the knee and green leg warmers. Oh! And brilliant five-inch - whadya call those?"
"Wedges," Zoe supplied.
"With five inch wedges," Peter nodded. "Very nice, and oh - those look difficult to walk in - ouch, ah, well, it's all right James, we can fix twisted ankles."
"Finally, we have Sirius Black!" Zoe said as James kicked off his offensive footwear. "Strutting his stuff magnificently on the catwalk, tonight he's dressed in skinny checkered pants and clown shoes, a retro Hogwarts uniform shirt, unbuttoned, with his tie around his neck and a stylish blue jacket that he is carrying over his shoulder. Tonight his hair is styled into two pigtails high in his hair, definitely a first for these competitions."
Lily, Harley, and Marlene were on the ground laughing so hard that they almost missed all of Peter and Zoe's commentary.
"Would all three contestants line up on the edge of the dock?" Zoe asked, and the three boys did as asked.
For a few moments, Zoe and Peter put their heads together and discussed each model. A few times one would raise a voice over the other, but ultimately, they agreed.
"All right. We've decided," Peter announced. "Stylists, go stand behind your contestant. When we announce the winner, should he be yours, push him in the lake!"
"What?" Sirius demanded, his hair flipping comically in the pigtails as he whipped his head around.
"Relax, Sirius," Zoe said flippantly. "You have nothing to worry about."
Sirius stuck his tongue out, but looked relieved.
Lily, Harley, and Marlene lined up behind James, Sirius, and Remus.
"And…" Zoe paused dramatically.
"The winner…" Peter continued.
"Is…"
They locked eyes and smirked, then said in unison:
"Sirius Black!"
"What?"
Three splashes were heard as all three boys were pushed in. Harley, Lily, and Marlene looked at each other in surprise, then doubled over laughing, realizing that they all had had the same idea.
"What the hell?" James asked as he, Sirius, and Remus swam to the edge of the dock and pulled themselves out, spitting water out of their mouths, sopping wet, and shivering.
The five people still dry could do nothing but laugh.
The three 'contestants' looked at each other, ridiculous in their outfits and even worse when they were covered in lake water. Without speaking, they started running at Marlene, Lily, and Harley.
"What - JAMES, GET OFF OF ME!"
"Sorry, Lily, but you betray me, I betray you!"
With three shouts of revenge, the contestants picked up their stylists and threw them into the water.
The Day After, Lunch
"I hosted a beauty pageant?" Zoe's brow furrowed in confusion as Sirius waved the medal for all of them to see while they ate their lunch.
"Apparently," he said. Then he added excitedly, "And I won!"
"Congratulations," Harley said drily.
"And that's the reason why my hair smelled like the lake this morning?" Marlene asked.
"Sorry," Remus winced. "I think I threw you in."
"It's all right. From what Peter said I pushed you."
"We've almost figured everything else about last night," Lily said, inspecting her parchment. She had started writing down everything that they remembered doing. "We still don't know why I gave us detention, or how we all ended up…" there was a pregnant pause, "where we did this morning."
The awkward silence lasted only a few seconds before James spoke up. "Also, Sirius can't find his wand."
"It's not anywhere in Gryffindor Tower," Sirius supplied, looking slightly worried over the loss of his wand.
Lily added it to the list of things they still needed to remember.
"Maybe we should go up to the Common Room and look for clues?" she suggested to them.
"Sure, Nancy Drew," Harley said, rolling her eyes.
"Who?" Sirius asked.
"She's a Muggle character. She has her own book series."
"Hm… is she fit?"
"It's not your birthday anymore. I can hit you and not feel bad about it."
"Ah, but you won't," Sirius predicted, giving the brunette a winning smile.
The smile was useless and he was proven wrong.
"You know, that wasn't very nice," Sirius said as they stood up to go to the Common Room. He rubbed his forehead where Harley had hit him with the heel of her palm.
"You should have expected it, Sirius," Lily said, stepping between them and linking both of their arms in hers, diffusing the tension as Harley opened her mouth to retort. "You know not to challenge Harley - Maggie? What are you doing here?"
The eight Seventh Years were just stepping into the Entrance Hall when they saw the approaching brunette. Maggie looked flustered and a bit, well, annoyed.
"You lot have had me worried out of my mind, you know that?" she said, marching right up to Sirius. Her Irish accent intensified as her anger did, and it rendered her almost incomprehensible. "Put you all to bed like the nice little nanny I am and wake this morning to find you've all run off without another word – and Sirius here wandless! No one thinks of poor Maggie, she's just Maggie the Waitress, as forgettable as whatever they're trying to drink away!"
Sirius put his hands up defensively as he was the one Maggie was addressing directly, pointing his own wand under his chin. James and Peter chortled behind him, amused at the sight of barely-five-foot-Maggie threatening Sirius. Maggie was the niece of Madam Rosmerta, and worked in the Three Broomsticks as a waitress. She was only a few years older than the Seventh Years, and she normally got along with them swimmingly. This was not one of those times.
"Mags, none of us really remember what happened last night," Harley said, in an attempt to calm her down. Harley and Maggie normally got along the best, as they had similar tempers.
"Oh, I'll tell you happened," Maggie grumbled. "You lot wake up me nigh four in the morning with your banging on and your yelling about some bloody pageant-"
"Oh, we remember the pageant!" Sirius said triumphantly.
Maggie went on as though she hadn't heard him. "And all of you are pissed off your arses and who's there to take care of you?" The Seventh Years looked sufficiently guilty and stared at their feet, silent. "That's right, me! So I coddle you all and summon you up some nice blankets and make up your beds like I'm your mum only to find out you split before I get a proper explanation for you behaviour. Now what do you lot have to say for yourselves?"
Lily tried not to feel like she was actually being chastised by her own mum, but a chewing out from Maggie was not much different.
"We're sorry, Maggie," Remus finally said quietly. The rest of them quickly followed suit, giving their own apologies, ranging from Remus' own muttered sentiment to Sirius actually embracing the girl and kissing her on the cheek in his gratitude.
That finally made Maggie smile and she shoved Sirius away. "Oh, you know I can never stay cross with you, Black."
"We will shower you with tips from now on," Marlene promised.
"I don't want to see you anywhere near a bar again, you almost killed yourself."
"Me?" Marlene asked, shocked.
"Oh yes," the waitress replied. "You really don't remember?"
"Not a thing," James replied.
"Well, you two disappeared after a few minutes," Maggie said, nodding to Lily and James.
They exchanged glances, and both had a moment of understanding. This must have been how they ended up in the castle, and the others in the bar.
"Mags," Harley said, catching on to the significant role the bartender would play in this mystery, "could you tell us exactly what happened?"
AN: Ngl, I love Maggie even though you guys don't even know who she is.
Let's play a game: Who is Maggie? I'll give you three hints:
1. The answer is not anything that you could have gotten from this story alone. 2. She's related to a character of mine.
3. You would have had to have read "Lily's the Man" to be familiar with this character.
Go and guess for me in a review telling me what you think of this story! (; And if anyone guesses right please know that this wasn't some connection I pulled out of my ass, this has been a thing for more than three years, easily. I just never found a way to incorporate her before now. Also if you guess right I'll explain the connection more because it really does look like I just pulled it out of my ass.
Anyways, I'm done shamelessly plugging my own story.
LAST UPDATE TOMORROW OH MY GOD ARE YOU EXCITED I AM BECAUSE I'VE JUST TURNED INTO A TWELVE YEAR OLD DISCOVERING THE INTERNET FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT ISN'T DISNEYCHANNEL DOT COM AND FORGOT HOW TO TURN THE CAPS LOCK OFF!ONE!
See you all tomorrow! ^_^
PS: Nothing on this earth would make me happier than someone drawing Remus, James, and Sirius in their pageant outfits, soo... if anyone likes to draw? ;D