Mr. J: welcome back, disclaimer: I don't own anything, except what I come up with in my mind
Naruto: (waves) hello
Mr. J: heard some bad news, the IOC (international Olympic committee) is taking out wrestling. They say that not enough people watch it and that it is loosing television ratings. Well here is an idea, show it at a normal time and not like 3 in the morning. Also why take away an event that happened since the first Olympics, why not take away ping pong, or synchronized swimming.
Naruto: true that
Mr. J: on with the show
…..
Naruto woke up the next morning and decided he changed his mind. He cleaned himself up and ported to the Hokage's office.
Sarutobi looked up and was surprised to see Naruto there that early.
"Naruto, what can I do for you?" Sarutobi thought it might be important, besides, getting away from his paperwork, the enemy that no kage could defeat, for a while wouldn't hurt.
Naruto cracked his neck, "I change my mind about being undercover and that shit. Just put me in as a rotational Jonin to help each team. This way I don't have to hear any bitching about listening to rank. Sure the other Jonin will have seniority, but I don't want them pulling rank on me."
Sarutobi thought about it, he figured this wouldn't hurt. Since Naruto's spot was already filled since he (blood clone Naruto) didn't pass and wouldn't have to rearrange people. He agreed to that. He told them that he would spend a week with each team and then repeat.
Naruto agreed and went about his business for the day.
…..
A week later- team placement
Naruto waited till everyone was inside besides Iruka. Naruto walked in wearing his black overcoat which hid his Jonin flack jacket.
"Hey, what are you doing here dobe, this is for the people who passed, and you failed like the looser you are." Said a boy wearing a gray jacket that had what looked like fur around the border of the jacket. On his head was a white dog. When Naruto looked through his old memories he had the persons name.
"Kiba you dumb piece of shit," Naruto pointed to his headband, "I did pass you blind piece of shit, and you say your observant. Naruto went to walk past him but Kiba grabbed his arm. Naruto looked at the dog, "You might want to get down." The dog named Akimaru listened and jumped down off Kiba. Naruto then flung Kiba into the wall, leaving a indentation of him.
Naruto looked around the class to see everyone shocked silent. Naruto took off his black overcoat which was a duster to reveal him in black Anbu pants, guards, a pair of kodachi, a black muscle shirt which showed off his well toned arms which had a tattoo of Kyubi with her nine tails behind her.
A bunch of the girls blushed at how well he looked with ought his annoying orange jump suit.
Naruto stood up strait and walked around the class. "As you can see I am a Jonin, what you all failed to realize over the past few years that that idiot was a blood clone. The real me, myself, was traveling gaining real world experience with situations such as assassinations, infiltration, demolition, tracking, hostage rescue, assault, interrogation, information gathering and distribution, protection detail, patrol detail, and others that I cant think of at the moment.
I have done shit that you will do when you are Anbu when you were still in your first years of the academy. I didn't want to go to this puke school because it would be a waist of time for me.
I am going to be on rotation with your teams to help where I see fit. I will be spending one week with each of your teams.
Naruto then began his big speech. " If you survive recruit training you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death praying for war, until that day you are pukes, you are the lowest form of life on earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grab asses pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me, but the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. Here you are all equally worthless and my orders are to weed out all non hackers that do not deserve to serve in my beloved shinobi core."
When Naruto finished his little speech Sauske snorted and mumbled like a dobe like him could do anything.
Naruto was on the other end of the classroom when he hear someone say that and made his way to where he heard someone speak. "Who said that, who the fuck said that! Who is the slimy little communist shit twinkle toed cock sucker down here that signed his own death warrant?"
Naruto paused for an answer. "Nobody Hugh, the fairy fucking godmother said it, out fucking standing. I will PT (physical train) you till you die I will PT you asses are sucking butter milk."
Naruto grabbed a dark hair kid who had his head down on his desk. "Was it you, you scrounge little fuck." The dark hair kid now had his eyes bulging out from being scared. "No I didn't" but was cut off by Naruto. You little piece of shit you look like a fucking worm, I bet it was you." Again the kid known as Shikimaru denied it.
Sauske figured he had nothing to fear since he was the last Uchia stood up and smirked. Little did he know what awaited him.
Naruto grinned. "well no shit, I admire your honesty, hell I like you, you can come over and fuck my sister." Naruto then socked Sauske in the gut knocking him to his knees. "You little scumbag, I got your name, I got your ass. You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers I will teach you. Now get up and get on your feet."
Sauske slowly got to his feet, his face mixed with embarrassment and anger and pain.
"Naruto then got in his face, "You had best un-fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck." The Uchia just stared at him mad.
The whole class, Iruka and all of the other Jonin, including Kakashi, who came into the classroom watched with mild amusement and surprise on how well a speech that was.
Naruto then told them that they were not yet Genin. That test was just to weed out who could not handle being a Genin. Naruto then told them that their Jonin sensei would give them the true test to see if the have what it takes.
Iruka coughed and Naruto turned around and glared at Iruka who took a step back just out of fear then walked to the front of the class.
"Well Naruto, um, thanks for that little speech I think. Now I am pleased you got this far. However Naruto is right. There is still one more test, but with what I have seen I am sure you all will do well."
Naruto rolled his eyes at that
Iruka then continued with the teams. 1-6 unimportant, (does anyone know what happened to them?)
Then he came to the next set of teams.
Team 7- Sauske, Sakura, and Sai which would be a first response team with Kakashi
Team 8- Kiba, Shino, Hinata a tracker team with Kurenai
Team 9- Lee, TenTen and Neji a support team with Gai (team graduated last year)
Team 10- Shikimaru, Choji, and Ino a interrogation/information team with Asuma
The then motioned for the Jonin with him to take their students and take them. Naruto made enough shadow clones to go with them to team introductions.
Naruto stayed to chat with Iruka for a bit.
After his visit Naruto made his way to training ground 44. Naruto was meditating under a waterfall when he got the memories of his clones from the teams.
The next day was when all (except team 9) would do their tests. Teams 1-6 he had a feeling were going to fail, while the others would be a little better, after all, they were just Genin.
The boys would hadn't it no problem, but the three girls of teams 7,8,10 would need extra work.
The first was Sakura. She was a standard fan girl of the Uchia. She gave no attention her other teammate Sai. She had no real talents in fighting, but she kept bragging about being the top kuoichi. Sure she had book smarts, but her skills were dull and needed the most work out of the three.
The next was Hinata. She was good in tijutsu and was a kind person, sometimes to kind. She would also stutter if she got nervous and when he was near her she would get all hot and bothered and he could smell her hormones. He also felt that there was a lot of pressure on her, she would get real happy when he would say something good about her. So he knew she had something for him. So he would help her with her confidence first and then deal with her feelings.
The next girl was Ino. She said that she liked Sauske but kept her eyes on him. She was also book smart, but her ninja stats needed to be worked on. She would smile every time he would talk with her and complement her. Her self esteem was also down some.
So Naruto knew enough about the others to know what to work on.
….
The day after the exams. Teams 1-6 go back while 7-10 pass
Naruto was waiting for team 7 to arrive. When they finally got there, Sauske was sitting on a stump, while Sai was sitting under a tree and Sakura was sitting by Sauske trying to talk to him, asking him out on dates, checking her make up.
An hour later Naruto was getting pissed where was Kakashi?
Eventually Naruto got pissed. He told the three to line up which only Sai stood in front of him while Sauske and Sakura ignored him.
Naruto then unleashed KI (killing intent) on Sakura and Sauske. They froze and looked around to see what was causing it. They finally looked at Naruto who was taping his foot. "Front and center you fuck heads."
They walked over and lined up. Naruto walked in front of the three.
"Alright since I am with you this week and you pathetic excuse of a sensei isn't here, looks like I am taking command.
First things first, like I said, you are amphibian shit. You still have a lot to learn."
Naruto looked at Sai
"You may be a decent ninja for your age, but you still got work to do. You got to open up to your teammates. They are here to help you and so am I."
Naruto then looked at Sakura
"You my dear, got the most amount of work to do. I honestly don't know why they let you pass. You are a fan girl. Tell me, why did you become a ninja?"
Sakura frowned
"I was top Kunoichi of our class. I am smart and I know I can do this, unlike you I know what I'm doing.
I decided to become a ninja because I wanted to show that I am worthy for Sauske."
Naruto shook his head and ported behind Sauske and held a Kunai to his throat.
"Do something Sakura, you want to be there for Sauske, well what are you going to do? You have till the count of five to do something!"
Sakura froze in shock, her mind blanked on all her teaching.
1.….2.…..3….Sakura still didn't move, Sauske was beginning to panic. 4.…..5.
Naruto then threw Sauske on the ground and ported behind Sakura and pulled his finger across her neck "DEAD"
Naruto walked back in front of the group.
"Sakura, you are pathetic, if that was a real life situation, you both would have been dead. Look at Sai, he was ready to jump in and fight for you both."
Sakura looked to see Sai with a kunai ready.
"Sakura, you could have switched yourself with the rock behind me and knocked my out to save Sauske. Being the top of the class means shit in the real world where there is always a chance of dieing.
If you are going to do freeze with Sauske, what will happen when our home is under attacked or your family needs you? Sakura grow up. If you can't handle it, get the fuck out of the shinobi corps. The question Sakura, is what do you want to do? Do you want to become stronger and actually be of use, or wait for someone to save your ass? This is not a game!"
Sakura looked down and thought about it. Naruto was rite, she could have switched with the rock but she blanked. She could have caused Sauske to die and herself. She knew she needed to get better. But was loosing her looks and getting dirty worth it.
She looked at Sauske who was just standing up giving her a glare. She then figured that he would never care for her, but there were others in the village that would if she would care for her.
She also thought about her friendship with Ino and how it ended with her ending it over Sauske.
Well no more, she found her answer.
She looked at Naruto, "I need to get stronger, I realize now that my dream is not going to happen, so it is time for a new one. I need help and if you are still willing to help me to protect my home then I welcome it."
Naruto nodded, "Good, there is hope for you yet." She smiled and nodded her head.
Naruto then came to Sauske
"You…..well were to start?" Sauske grinned thinking he was going to say only good things about him. Oh how wrong he was.
"like I said, you need to get it out of your mind that you are superior to everyone. Yes you are good at ninjutsu and tijutsu but your attitude will get you nowhere.
Say you are surrounded by three bandits and they have Sakura and Sai hostage and demand that you hand them the information what do you do?"
Sauske said that he would use his sharingan on them and finish the mission.
Naruto shook his head. Naruto then went through hand signs and slammed them onto Sauske's eyes.
"I just sealed your eyes. You will not even get a chance to unlock them until I or Kakashi and I both agree you are ready. You are now a normal ninja so you just have your name.
But when you get outside these walls, your name means shit, people will try to kill the last loyal Uchia. Your family was and is nothing but jutsu stealers who steal others hard work. Don't worry, I'll spread word around the village that you can't use your sharingan. You will see the truth. "
Naruto then looked at the three.
"Today we will be doing endurance building. You WILL run jog around the lake till you cant any more. I will do it with you. But stop with you, I already did my daily training."
Naruto had them line up and start them at a speed. Naruto Ran beside them
He had them do a song.
He would start and they would follow.
Naruto got them started
Naruto
Sauske, Sakura, Sai
Left right left right left right left , Left right left right left right left
Momma and poppa were laying in bed
Momma and poppa were laying in bed
Momma rolled over and this is what she said
Momma rolled over and this is what she said
Forgive me son
Forgive me son
Forgive me son
Forgive me son
PT
PT
PT
PT
Good for you
Good for you
Good for me
Good for me
Hmm good
Hmm good
Up in the morning with the rising sun
Up in the morning with the rising sun
Gonna run all day till the runnins done
Gonna run all day till the runnins done
The other kages are a son of a bitch
The other kages are a son of a bitch
Got the blue ball scratch and a seven year itch
Got the blue ball scratch and a seven year itch
That last part made Sakura blush but did it any way.
When they were done with the running, Naruto had them do stretches so not to cramp up.
After that Naruto had them do push ups, jumping jacks, sit ups, pull ups, and lunges. When they asked why they were doing that and not learning ninja stuff Naruto told them that this was to get their stamina up so they could go longer in a fight. They accepted that and got to work.
While they were doing that Naruto sent some clones to get some lunch.
The clone got back an hour later and Kakashi still wasn't there.
When the clone got back they were just finishing up their exercises.
Naruto sat them down and had them eat. Sakura looked a little reluctant and told Naruto that she was on a diet.
Naruto told her that she would work off the food and she needed it for energy. She eventually gave in and ate and she really liked it.
After lunch Naruto had them get into their individual tijutsu stances. Naruto made three clones to work with them. Naruto would personally watch over and give them tips.
After that Naruto had them go through dodge practice where he would throw projectiles at them and they would have to dodge or get hit. Of course they were blunted (at least that is what he told them). They did good, but Sakura got hit a few times which prompted her to do better.
After that Naruto had them work on throwing weapons. They started off not so good, but by the end of the half hour, they were all hitting near the target if not the target itself.
After that Naruto had them work on chackra control. He had them focus their chackra on all over their body such as hands, legs, feet, knees, elbows, head, ass, everywhere.
After that, Naruto asked them if they wanted to call it a day or get a mission. They decided to do a mission. When they got to the missions office, they got a grocery mission. So they got the groceries for the person and finished the mission and got back to the training ground.
Naruto had them do some more stretches when Kakashi finally showed up. By then it was 4 in the afternoon. He gave some excuse and told them that they were going to do some teamwork exercises. Naruto told them to go home and rest for the day and be back the same time the next day.
Naruto told Kakashi that he needs to start taking training them responsibly or stop teaching. Kakashi gave him a lazy wave, waving him off and pulled out his book and started to read it.
By the end of the week Naruto did the same thing for them but had team 7 go till they couldn't go any more. But he had them doing the tree climbing exercise to help their control and build their reserves. Naruto then gave the reins to Kakashi who barley did anything while Naruto was there.
…
Over the next few weeks Naruto did the same thing to the other teams minus team Gai who had things well under control. The only thing Naruto did was help Neji get his fate complex out of his ass and kicked his ass.
Naruto had grown fond of the girls of the teams.
Over the next few months Naruto had gotten Hinata to stop stuttering and help with her confidence and validation with Ino. It turned out that their fathers would only praise them in public but not be in their lives or pay any attention to them. Naruto gave them that feeling of being wanted and became close to him.
So by the third month Naruto had things going smoothly….until Kakashi decided that his team to continue a C rank mission.
…..
Mr. J: cliffhanger
Naruto: I am a good teacher….and I'm good with the ladies
Mr. J: Remember folks, I got a poll up. Should Naruto have a harem?
Well, until next time.
I got some stuff from Full Metal Jacket. Rated R movie, good movie I recommend it