'KURT! KURT! KURT PLEASE WAKE UP PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME KIDDO, JUST DON'T' a frantic Burt Hummel screamed, shaking his son's limp body. The tears stained his cheeks. His eyes red raw and hands gripping his son's thin shoulders never wanting to let go. He couldn't let go. That would mean Kurt was gone. He wasn't going to let his son, the person he loved most in the entire world, leave him this easy. He wasn't going to give up with out a fight.
The man reluctantly released one shoulder, scrambling for his mobile phone in his jacket pocket and jabbed in 911.
'Come on, come on, PICK UP GODDAMN IT' the man was shouting down the phone, hands shaking with every word and sob that escaped his chapped lips.
'Hello, 911 what is your emergency?' a calm robotic sounding woman answered.
'I need an ambulance now. My son.. He's.. He could be, I, I think he.. I just found him, hanging in his room. Please send someone to help please. I can't lose him. He's my world. Please hurry. Please, please..' he trailed off giving in to his unshed tears, gasping violently for air.
What if they don't make it in time? What if.. What if i, what if i lose him? I just, i can't go through that again. I can't lose the only thing in this world that matters to me. I can't lose Kurt. I can't. Please God, don't take him away from me. It's not his time.
His chaotic thoughts were interrupted by the sound of sirens gravitating towards the Hummel household.
'Thank God. Kurt, buddy, can you hear that? They're coming. You're going to be alright. You're going to be alright pal.' He cried, lifting his son's unresponsive body, cradling him, tears staining the boy's white suit shirt and grey vest.
Two paramedics scrambled into the house and ran upstairs to Kurt's room to find the boy and his father on the floor. Burt was still cradling his son's body. He was clutching at every piece of him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear in hopes that he'd hear them and wake up. That he wouldn't leave his father like this. He wouldn't leave his father alone in this cruel world. He wouldn't go without saying goodbye.
'Sir, we need you to step back so we can see to your son' one paramedic requested as they crouched on the wooden floor beside the Hummels. Burt did not look at them. He couldn't. All of his attention was on Kurt right now. Nothing else mattered.
A timid hand reached out, clutching Burt's whimpering shoulder and squeezed firmly. 'We'll take good care of him Mr Hummel. But first, we need you to let go. We need to take him to the hospital or we could lose him forever'.
That last word rang through Burt's mind. His body locked up immediately at that single word, forever.
He couldn't lose Kurt forever, so he let go. His hands still shaking and body weak. He attempted to stand but he could not find the strength. The man put all his energy into holding back the tears, trying to keep himself composed for his son, who was in need of a father, not a blubbering mess. It took all he had to hold it in when he saw Kurt, hanging from a beam in his bedroom. His body just swaying from the Marc Jacob's belt his father bought him last Christmas. It was so unexpected. Burt wandered up the stairs to Kurt's room, preparing the usual dinner's ready spiel, when he walked in on the most haunting image any father could ever see. Something he couldn't have imaged in his worst of nightmares. That moment would never leave him, every detail etched into his memory. It would be with him forever. He'd take it to the grave.
Burt tried to keep it together, he really tried. But the tsunami of tears would not be held back. His body was entrenched in emotions. He couldn't suppress it all, there was no way it would happen. Crying was the only thing he could do at a time like this.