Title: Trouble Comes in Threes
Author: NickyM96
Rating: K+
Summary: Beckett faces a test she didn't study for and one she's not sure she wants to pass
Spoilers: Nothing big. You should be fine so long as you've seen Episode 5x17 – Scared To Death
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for my own entertainment purpose and will return them for the next user when done.
Chapter 2
Beckett storms into the precinct, fire in her veins and murder in her eyes.
"Beckett! Did you hear the news?" Ryan calls out to her. "Jenny and I did it! We're having a baby."
She ignores everyone else around her. Her eyes travel the room until they land on her target.
"With me, now!" she growls at Castle, pulling him into an empty conference room.
She pushes him inside and slams the door on the curious faces of her co-workers.
"Beckett?" Castle asks, confused at her anger. He flips through his mental file to see if he did anything particularly heinous that morning to piss her off. But even when he leaves the toilet seat up or drops globs of toothpaste in the sink, she's never been this angry. "What's the matter, Sweetheart?"
"Don't 'sweetheart' me," she says, poking him in the chest with her finger. "How could you do this to me?"
"Okay, you're starting to scare me now. What's going on with you? What's happened?"
"This," she yells, as she slams the paper with the test results against his chest. "This has happened to me. And it's all … your …. fault."
Castle grabs the paper before it falls to the floor and starts to read.
"Looks like blood work of some kind. Beckett, are you sick?"
The panic and worry in his voice almost sweeps away the anger she's feeling … almost. But she remembers her predicament and the anger returns.
"No, Castle. I'm not sick. I'm ..."
"Pregnant," he says with a gasp once he gets to that section of the test results. A broad, dazed smile spreads across his face. "You're pregnant? You're going to have our baby?"
"I'm pregnant," she says through clenched teeth. "How could you let this happen?"
"Wait, what? You're upset about this? And you're blaming me?" he asks, incredulous.
"Do I look happy?"
"You look …. the opposite of happy, actually," he decides after a moment.
She growls again, causing him to jump back a little.
"Okay, so obviously this is a shock and not exactly what you were expecting."
"You think?" she asks sarcastically. "No, Castle. This is not at all what I was expecting. This is the very last thing I was expecting."
Her face is starting to turn an unhealthy shade of red, so he looks around for a place to let her sit. He takes her hand and leads her to the couch, getting her settled there before finding a bottle of water for her.
"Let's just calm down," he suggests, rubbing her back gently while she guzzles the water.
She allows herself to take comfort from the soothing back rub before she realizes what he's doing.
"Oh no, you don't. Touching me like that is how we got into this mess in the first place," she snipes at him, sliding down to the other end of the couch.
"No, if I recall, you and your little ice trick is what likely got us into this … mess," he snipes back, causing her to blush in remembrance. Perhaps things got a tad out of hand that night and neither of them were as careful as they should have been.
"And for the record," Castle continues. "This situation is not a 'mess.' It's a baby. Our baby."
"Castle," she sighs hopelessly. "I can't be pregnant. I just can't."
"But you are, Honey." He takes her hand and brings it to his lips, placing a light kiss there. "And I'm so happy. Ecstatic, even. Why aren't you?"
She just shakes her head as her eyes fill with tears. Not knowing what else to do, she falls into his arms and lets the sobs come.
He's not sure how long they sit there, but eventually her crying slows to just the sounds of her sniffling from time to time.
"You ready to talk about it?" he gently asks.
"I'm scared," she admits, sitting up and wiping her face dry.
"Of what?"
"Everything," she shrugs. "What do I know about being a mother, Castle? What will this mean for me? My job? Us? We just got together. And now this baby comes along? I didn't plan on this. Not yet."
"Did you ever plan on this? Having kids someday?"
"Someday."
"Okay, so it's not like you don't want kids. You just didn't expect one now."
"That's a fair conclusion," she nods after a moment to think it over.
"Because I love you, Kate. And I love and want this child. But if you … I mean, this is your body, your choice. If you can't ..."
"No!" she quickly assures him. "No, it's not that at all. Castle, I'd never … the thought never even entered my mind to not have the baby."
"Okay. Good," he says, letting out a breath of relief that lasts only a second. "Is it me? I mean, do you not want kids with me?"
"Castle," she shakes her head, lifting her hand to his cheek. "Seeing you raise Alexis all these years is one of the things I've always loved about you. You are an amazing father. That is the least of my worries. But to be honest, I never thought that far ahead with us. I've been too busy enjoying what we have now."
"We are great," he teases, pulling her into his arms. "But we'll be better. We'll be a family. I'll be Dad and you'll be Mom and ..."
She stiffens and pulls away from him. He's confused for a second, but then realizes what she's reacting to.
"This is about your mother, isn't it?"
She stands and walks to the other side of the room, needing some space to herself. She folds her arms across her chest, almost as if to wrap herself in her own embrace. It breaks Castle's heart. Too long she's had to rely on herself for comfort and support. He can start proving to her now that he'll always be there for her. He'll let her know with his actions that she can't run away anymore, not from him.
He follows her and pulls her back into his arms.
"I'm here," he whispers. "I'm always here and I always will be. Don't shut me out. This is too important."
"I don't know how to do this," she confesses.
"You don't have to. You just have to try. Try to trust me. Try to lean on me. I swear I won't let you down."
She hesitates for another few moments before seeming to come to a decision. She takes a deep breath and turns into his arm, burying her face in his chest.
He is humbled. He knows what that action alone cost her. He can practically see the cracks forming in her emotional walls, weakening them, tearing them down.
"What if I can't be a mother? What if I don't know how? What if a part of me will never be able to get over my own mother being gone? Castle, how can you trust me with a child, with our child?"
He gazes lovingly down on her with a smile on his face.
"I can and will trust you with our child for the very same reason you trust me … Alexis."
He kisses the furrow in her brow before explaining.
"You've watched me raise Alexis, but I've done the same with you, Beckett. You have been as big a part of raising Alexis these past 4 years as I have been. You've been the one I've gone to for advice. You've been the one who's talked me down from some of my more neurotic fears concerning my daughter. When she's needed guidance, you're the one she's gone to. You even helped me take care of her when she was sick. You have been more of a mother to my child than anyone ever has. She admires you and looks up to you. But most importantly, she loves you.
"So trusting you with our child isn't even an issue with me, Beckett. Because I've already trusted you with Alexis. You have been a mother to her, even when you didn't realize it."
A small smile finally breaks through her sadness.
"So we can do this?" she asks, still slightly uncertain, but no longer terrified by the possibility.
He lets out a hearty laugh.
"The baby is on its way. We don't really have a choice," he reminds her, the amusement in his voice making her smile grow a little more sure and steady.
"I guess you're right about that."
She looks down and tentatively places a hand on her stomach. He reaches down and covers her hand with his own. The rest of the uncertainty falls away and she suddenly knows without a doubt that they're ready for this.
"I guess we're having a baby," she smiles, reaching up to kiss him. "Now let's get out of here and go celebrate. If you think my trick with the ice is good, wait until you see what I do with whipped cream."
His grin spreads. This is going to be an interesting nine months.