Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Warnings: Slash.

oOo

Harry was waiting for him by the tree they had their first kiss under. It had been at around ten o'clock at night, on a Tuesday. Harry had shivered beneath his lips and hands. It had been awesome. The best kiss he ever had, and Jeff guessed it was not just because it was his only kiss with a guy. It was Harry.

It was always Harry. He reached out to touch his hand, fell the warm skin beneath his finger, but all he got was cold air. Harry had jerked away from him. Jeff looked at Harry's face. He could see the turmoil there, the tangle of emotions in his eyes. The pain and the hurt and the wariness that kept his from touching Jeff the way they both wanted him to.

"I'm sorry."

The words hung there. They were suspended in the cold autumn air, waiting for Harry to reach out and take them. They go ignored.

"Do you have an explanation?" Harry asked instead. He asked as if he already knows that Jeff will not give him one.

"If you just give me..." Jeff trailed off.

"Time?" asked Harry. He looked Jeff in the eyes. Jeff wanted to take off Harry's glasses and kiss him, but his green eyes pin him into place. "I've given you time." He hisses, "I've given you everything!"

"I know!" Jeff pleads, "Just a little longer! Please, Harry!"

Harry turned away from him, he did not want Jeff to see the weakness in his eyes, how close he was to giving in. Because he missed Jeff. He wanted to give in. He wanted the happy times with Jeff teaching him how to dance and the trips to IHOP which ended with sticky hands and sticky kisses. He wanted the warm feeling of being loved by someone and loving that someone just as much. But he did not feel loved when he was waiting on his own for Jeff to lie to his friends and come to meet him.

"Do you know" he whispered harshly, he wanted to stop because he could hear the tears in his voice, "how upset I was when you didn't show up?"

Jeff reached forward. His hand hovered, like his apology, inches from Harry. He wanted so badly to touch him. To ground himself in his boyfriend so he does not float off with the thought that Harry is about to break up with him.

"I love you, Jeff. But I won't be treated like a dirty secret." Harry said.

"I love you too." Jeff said frantically, and he tried desperately to think of words, "I won't... you won't... I just need a little longer, so I can figure this out."

His hand moved that extra inch, and lay on Harry's shoulder. Harry crumbled.

"A month." He said, "One month."

Jeff nodded. He was holding Harry now. Arms round his waist, head buried in his dark hair, grasping at the pale hands clutching his. It was like he had just almost fallen off of a cliff, or off of the station on to the tracks and Harry had saved him just in time. They embraced like a life had just been saved.

"I don't know if I can be in this relationship any longer."

And suddenly, he is falling again.

this was shockingly hard to write. not because of the content or the words or anything. i just kept on switiching into present tense and had to go back and correct it all. :(

but i kind of like it. :)

Percusion, strings, wind, words.

there you see it, sitting there across the screen

you don't got a lot to say, but there's something about it

and you don't know why but you're dying to try,

you wanna review the fic.