This chapter is last chapter in Ian's POV. I hope you like it.
Ian's POV::
As much as I was hurting, I followed Mickey. I did what he asked. He said Please, and that was the first time I had heard that word come out of his mouth. Something told me I needed to. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. But he sure had a lot of fucking explaining to do.
First, He took me where my world crumbled. That god-forsaken abandoned building. He started talking about what happened in this spot. I listened, and each time I tried to talk, he wouldn't shut up. He seemed determined, so I decided then and there, I would listen to him. I hope he could explain what the fuck was going on.
I could see that he was nervous. It was kind of sexy. I am not used to a nervous Mick.
He explained how that spot was where I begged him to tell me he loved me. Where he didn't know how to react. I tried to tell him that he didn't need to explain any of that to me. Because, as much as I wanted to hear the words, I probably wasn't ever going to get him to say them to me. But he kept talking, explaining that this spot is where it was the spot he broke not one, but two hearts. Before I could get a single word out, he kissed me. My body was on fire. Then I hear the words I begged him to say. "I love you and I am gay". I have to admit, I was shocked. I honestly thought he was going to deny me. Deny he loves me. Deny he was gay. That is what people like him do. Deny, deny, deny. The way he talked to me though, was like he had no fear. Like he wasn't scared to tell me any of this. Like we wouldn't be killed for being who we are. For loving each other. There was something gleaming in his eyes. I never thought my begging would lead to something like this.
Before I tried to say anything, he told me he would be right back. He didn't go far, but I saw him pull out his phone. He wasn't on it long, but from the way his body language was talking, he was talking to Mandy. But I couldn't be sure. I couldn't hear what he was saying.
When he came back, he took my hand and we left. He said we were going somewhere else. I decided not to talk, because I knew he would just tell me to shut up and threaten me with empty promises. I didn't want him to waste his breath. The panic I could tell he was going through made him sexy. So, I just watched him the whole time.
Next thing I know, were walking into the baseball field we always hooked up in when we couldn't hook up at the Kash-and-Grab. It was where we fucked when he got out of juvie for the first time. It was where we hooked up quiet a lot really. I liked this place. Great memories.
He took me to first base, and pointed to the dug-out. He paused for a minute, but I am sure he didn't know that I noticed. But I did. Because he had this look in his eyes. He has had it since he kissed me in the hospital hall. I loved that look. And I knew tonight would be the only time I would probably ever see it, unless we were alone.
As he pointed, he started explaining how that spot is where he decided he was done. I am assuming he meant done with me. Because why else would he be telling me this? He continued on telling me that was also the spot where he decided he was going to let life come at him, and whatever was going to happen, would happen. He kissed me again. This kiss was different in a good way. It was harder, but it was also softer. He put something behind it. I am not sure what though. But it definitely meant something. I am positive I lite up like a little fucking school girl. I really liked how he was telling me these things. He never told me anything he thought. It wasn't like him. He didn't like to do that, as he would say, gay shit.
He then took me to the middle of the baseball field where I saw that he had a blanket set up out there, and a backpack too.
He told me to set down, so I did. He pulled out a beer and took his knife out. He asked me if I wanted a shot gun, and popped a whole on the bottom and then popped open the top. He drank some and handed me the rest.
"This aint no fucking date, and I aint here to look for no shooting stars, either" He said and laid back. I laughed, told me he shouldn't have and laid back. In my head, I was grinning. This felt good. To know that Mickey has a heart. And I may be the only one who will ever know. But that didn't matter to me.
He turned to face me, and kissed me again. "But I love you, and I am gay" he said again. This time, a little louder. That is when Fireworks went off. Not the kind of fireworks you get when your being kissed the way he kisses me, but actual fireworks. Bottle rockets to be exact. How fitting. Then he started talking about how it was winter and you couldn't see stars in this city anyways. He grabbed my hand again, and locked our fingers together. It was like a missing puzzle piece. Like we were perfect for each other. He had a strong grip on my hand the rest of the time we laid there.
He sat up and yelled "Get lost, Bitch". And as I looked, I heard a familiar voice. "Get a room". It was Mandy.
"Is that Mandy? What did you tell her"? I asked him.
He then went on to tell me he told her about us. I savored every word he was saying. Even when he told me to shut up and kiss him. I loved his voice. It was soothing. He them climbed on top of me, straddling me. He put my hands behind my head and looked me dead in the eyes and said "I was so fucking scared he was going to Kill you. Kill me even. For fuck sakes, I still haven't wrapped my head around the fucking whore he put on me. But Ian, none of that matters tonight. Not right now. All that matters to me right now, is that you know that I am extremely sorry for how I treated you afterwards. I didn't mean it. I had to come to terms with myself. And when you egged me on, about loving you, and all that shit, it hit a nerve. I don't know why. I don't know why I cant get you out of my fucking head. As far as I am concerned, I don't want you out of there. No one knows me like you do. No one loves me like you do". Those words coming from his mouth. Every word that was coming out of his mouth tonight. It wasn't like the Mickey I knew. But I liked it. I also knew not to get used to it. This was one of those 'Once-in-a-lifetime' kind of nights. He paused and I felt like I could actually talk. So I did. "I only wanted to make sure you were okay, Mick. That is all I wanted. You were hurting, and wouldn't let me help you. And then Mandy told me that she was pregnant, and you were marrying her. It hit a nerve. It hit something that made me feel as if the world were crushing me alive. I know if I was hurting, I knew you were too. Your being forced into fatherhood, and I am being forced to watch it all. And it fucking hurts". I paused for a moment, and went on. "I love you Mickey. I just want you to know that. I want you to know that no matter what, I will always fucking love you".
I could see him smiling. I loved his smile. He kissed me again, and I kissed him back. We kissed for a while, before the sprinklers went off. He grabbed the blanket and backpack and we ran under the dug-out for a few minutes. Next thing I know, we were hand in hand running to a new place. We ended up and the Kash-and-Grab. He had a key. I didn't know how though. Linda didn't exactly trust him with a key. She probably thought he would come in sometime and case the joint. He took me into the cooler, and started telling me about this spot. He said it was where he fell in love with me. The day Monica came back into town. It was also the day Kash caught us. He was telling me how he could tell I needed comfort, and also told me he needed comfort too. Apparently, that day, Terry got drunk and started beating on Mandy, and he tried to get him off of her. I really liked that he was opening up to me. He has never opened up to anyone his entire life. But he was opening up to me. It made me love him so much more. He kissed me again. My lips, my jaw and that space between my neck and shoulders. When he kisses me there, I lose control. I moaned and he stopped. He said we had another stop. As we left, he locked the store up, took my hand and we were off again.
We ended up at his house. Although Terry's truck was gone and the lights were off, I was still scared. I knew that Mickey could tell. He told me Mandy and Terry went up state to unload some coke and she would call when they were on the way back so we could leave. As scared as I was, I still went inside with him. When we got inside, we went to the living room and stood in front of the couch. He pointed to the middle of it, and started to tell me how that was the spot where he let his guard down. Where he finally felt comfortable. Where He sat and watched a movie and it wasn't with Mandy. It was also the place where he felt like I was being torn away from him, and where he was rapped. He then turned around, and pointed to the other couch, and told me that that was the spot where he finally fought back. Where he got Terry off of me to save my life. I could see he was having a hard time telling me this. I could hear him hold his breath. I thought he was going to cry, but he didn't. He then said, "I love you, Ian Gallagher, and I am gay".
We then went to his bedroom. He had me sit on his bed, and he got between my legs, and stood in front of me, looking down at me. I wrapped my arms around his thighs, not wanting to let go. "This is the spot where I wanted to fucking kill you. You barged through my door, waking me up with a fucking tire iron. This is the spot where I was going to beat the shit out of you. This was the spot where all of this shit began." He paused for a minute, just looking at me, and said "I love you, and I am gay". He kissed me again, but this time, it was wrecking. Full of desire. I bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. I could taste in on my tounge. It was ravishing. Besides the kiss, it was like our first time all over again. Clothes flying in different directions, hands where they didn't belong. Words unspoken. It was like we were starting all over again. But this time, we didn't have anything to worry about. And I loved that about him. I fucking Love Mickey Milkovich.