"All your base are belong to us."
- CATS, Zero Wing
The Legend of Malon: Meme's Mask
Prologue: First Mission
Meta Knight stood in the Halberd's control deck as he watched his crew, the Meta-Knights, pilot the ship towards the Advance Wars sector. Even though they were still light-years away from their destination, Meta Knight couldn't help but glance at the radar every few seconds to check that they weren't flying into an ambush. The crew members were all dead silent as well as they kept checking the ship's weapons and shield array to make sure that they were running properly. It was clear that everyone on deck was nervous about the upcoming battle. Well, almost everyone.
"Are we there yet?" the teenage boy sitting in the corner whined as he casually tossed a Pokeball from hand to hand. "It's been over six hours since we set off. Shouldn't we be there by now?"
Not to anyone's surprise, the boy was none other than Red, the master Pokemon Trainer of the Kanto region. As always, he was wearing his trademark black shirt with a red vest over it, a pair of blue jeans, red sneakers, and a red cap. He also carried a yellow backpack with him where he kept all of his Pokeballs as well as his various items.
Despite his impressive title as a Pokemon champion, Red was perhaps one of the most immature leaders of Nintendo Council, second only to the diva goddess, Nayru. Of course, he was definitely a lot more friendly and thoughtful than the blue-haired goddess but his abnormally cheery and impatient attitude conflicted greatly with the tense atmosphere he was currently in. In fact, most of the crew members would've loved to have wiped the stupid grin he constantly wore on his face if it wasn't for the fact that he outranked everyone on board the ship aside from Meta Knight.
"We'll be there soon enough," Meta Knight answered in his Darth Vader-like voice. "Try to contain yourself until then."
Much to the crew member's relief, Red said nothing more after this. However, it soon became apparent that their troubles weren't over as he began bouncing his Pokeball on the floor to relieve his boredom. Needless to say, the constant metallic clanging was enough to drive everyone in the control room insane. Just when Meta Knight himself began contemplating about throwing Red overboard, the short, Viking-helmet wearing figure of Ax Knight suddenly spoke up.
"Major Red, we seem to have some sort of problem with the rear engines," Ax Knight stated in an urgent tone. "I fear that there may be an enemy saboteur in that area."
Just as Ax Knight had hoped, Red rose up energetically and assumed what he thought to be a heroic pose.
"Leave this to me!" Red loudly proclaimed as he started making his way towards the door. "I'll take care of this problem before any of you have time to say… umm… well, something short. Anyways, I'll be right back!"
As soon as Red left the room everyone let out an enormous sigh of relief.
"Let me guess. We don't really have a trouble with our engines, do we?" Meta Knight asked in an amused tone.
"Of course not," Ax Knight replied as he turned back to his computer screen. "I just wanted to get rid of that kid before we all did something that would get us court-martialed."
"Speaking of court-martials, is it really alright for us to defy the General's orders like this?" Javelin Knight, a small purple and blue droid, asked in a worried voice. "I mean, I know we're trying to rescue our citizens and all but won't we all lose our heads the moment we show up again at HQ?"
"Not likely," Captain Vul, a large albatross wearing a sailor's coat, replied from his position at the steering wheel. "Even if the General doesn't agree with our actions, I'm sure the rest of the council will side with us. After all, Colonel Ike and Lieutenant Samus practically wished us good luck before we set off."
"We'll see what happens after we get back," Meta Knight interrupted with a wave of his hand. "For now, we have to focus on our current mission. As of the moment, we're the only thing standing between Sony's invasion force and our outer territories."
Everyone fell silent again at this as they all went back to their various jobs. After a few minutes, Ax Knight spoke up again.
"Is it really true though?" he asked in a nervous tone. "About Organization VII being resurrected? Are they really leading Sony again like they did last time?"
"Bah. That's all just a silly rumor," Captain Vul said distastefully. "If you want my opinion, all this talk about the organization being back is a load of crap. Organization VII was utterly destroyed when we destroyed their main base at Midgar. Besides, even if they were back, who the hell would lead them? The General blasted Cloud into pieces during the final battle. Aren't I right, Admiral?"
Meta Knight didn't immediately answer as he went over to the table displaying a holographic star map. With a press of a button, the map shifted to show every single attack that Sony had launched within the last few days. As Vul waited for an answer, Meta Knight looked through the charts with an increasingly troubled expression (at least, that's what it looked like to the crew; Meta Knight's mask made it hard to accurately determine his mood). After a lengthy silence, Meta Knight finally answered.
"It's true that the General killed Cloud," Meta Knight said as he continued to look through the map. "However… these recent attacks bear an uncanny resemblance to the string of attacks that Cloud launched during the start of the Era of Strife."
"Surely you can't mean to say that Cloud is still somehow alive?" Vul asked in a skeptical tone.
"It's hard to say for sure," Meta Knight answered hesitantly. "However… these lightning fast strikes… the ruthless murder of the native inhabitants… they all match up with Cloud's style of play. It's too early to say anything for certain but I'm sure we'll be able to figure out what's happening once we arrive at the Advance War sector. With any luck, we'll be able to find out the truth about whose leading Sony this time."
"Quick question though," Sailor Dee, a Waddle-Dee wearing a sailor's hat, suddenly interrupted. "If this mission is so important, why did we bring along that idiot Pokemon Trainer for?"
"Watch your tongue," Captain Vul sharply replied. "Major Red's actions may be questionable at times but that still doesn't mean you can bad-mouth a superior officer."
"At ease, Captain," Meta Knight calmly declared. "Considering the Major's recent performance with his Pokeball, I think it's safe to say that Sailor Dee's remark is justified."
"As you say, Admiral," Vul simply replied before turning his attention back to the steering wheel. Meanwhile, Meta Knight finished looking through his map and turned around to answer Sailor Dee.
"Even though Red's immaturity gets on my nerves as well, there's no doubt that he's a powerful and ingenious soldier in his own right. I assure you, once we get onto the battlefield, you'll be glad we brought him along."
"Don't forget the fact that he was the only one at HQ who agreed to go on this mission with us," Ax Knight added in a flat tone.
"Well, yes. There's that too."
Silence once again enveloped the room as the ship drew ever closer towards the impending battle. Just when Captain Vul was about to remark about how quiet the room was, Red suddenly reappeared, his clothes covered in what everyone hoped was engine oil.
"Okay, I've got good news and bad news," Red said in answer to everyone's questioning look. "The good news is that there wasn't any enemy saboteur in the engine room. The bad news is that the toilet on the fifth level might need some maintenance work. The thing practically blasted me in the face with… well, you-know-what… when I tried to flush."
The crew members all turned a sickly shade of green as they realized that their fears about the stains on Red's clothes had been proven correct. Even Meta Knight (who didn't have a nose) couldn't help but gag when the smell from Red reached him. As for the rest of the crew, they all scrambled to reach the storage of emergency gas masks at the back of the room.
"GET OUT!" Meta Knight managed to shout out as he tried to stop himself from opening one of the windows. "I ORDER YOU TO GET TO THE SHOWER ROOMS IMMEDIATELY!"
Getting the hint, Red rushed out of the control room while quickly muttering an apology. After spending a few minutes recovering (and recirculating the air supply in the room), the crew members took off their gas masks and turned to glare at Meta Knight.
"What?" Meta Knight asked innocently as he looked at his less than happy crew.
"Sir," Ax Knight answered in a very irritated voice. "With all due respect, what the hell was going through your goddamn mind when you allowed that idiot on board?"
Meta Knight was spared the task of answering this question when the ship's emergency alarm system suddenly went off.
"What now?" Trident Knight, a stocky figure wearing a suit of purple armor, shouted out angrily above the blaring of the ship's sirens. "Don't tell me that stupid kid destroyed our life-support system!"
Before anyone could answer, the ship's computer stated what the alarm was for.
Warning! Unidentified ships detected! Precaution is advised.
"Shit," Meta Knight swore as he saw the numerous dots on the radar. "Everyone, get to your stations! Now!"
xxx
As far as interstellar warships went, few could match the size and power of the N.E.S. (Nintendo Enterprise Ship) Halberd. Fashioned in the likeness of Meta Knight, the ship had an elongated, cylindrical-shaped hull created from reinforced HAL-steel, one of the strongest types of metal in the entire Nintendo universe. Even without the use of its extensive shield array, the hull was capable of taking the full blast of a Class 10 laser cannon (such as the one equipped on the Great Fox) without any major damage. Aside from its superior defenses, the ship was also able to travel at record speeds with the aid of its fourteen rocket engines as well as its hyperspace generator. By using the generator, the Halberd could create numerous wormholes across space which allowed the ship to travel hundreds of light years in just a few minutes.
Scale-wise, the ship was about as large as a small city and could carry over a thousand people in the cargo bay alone. Just like every other capital ship in the video game universe, the Halberd had several dozen small starfighters stored in its docking bay that could be launched from the main ship in case of a full-scale battle.
Despite all of these impressive features, however, the real glory of the Halberd lay in its awe-inspiring weapons system. Armed with over a hundred cannons on all sides, the ship had virtually no blind spot. Each cannon could fire a multitude of flak shells, laser beams, or pulsed energy projectiles depending on the situation. Even more impressive however, was the ship's main weapon: the Main Cannon #2. Covering the top side of the Halberd, the Main Cannon #2 carried enough firepower to obliterate a small continent with a single blast. If this wasn't enough, it was also protected by a retractable robot claw that could easily tear through any intruders trying to attack the cannon at close-range.
With all of these numerous features, it goes without saying that an equally enormous power supply was needed to fuel the ship. As it turns out, the Halberd had perhaps one of the strangest sources of energy that a ship could have. The entire ship was powered by a single Reactor, which in turn was powered by a bunch of Wheelies (living tires that never seemed to run out energy). The Wheelies continuously rolled around in their separate compartment to generate electricity, similar to how a hamster wheel worked. The Reactor, which distributed the energy produced by the Wheelies to the rest of the Halberd, was protected by a system of automated flamethrowers and laser cannons. Despite these defenses, however, the ship had several close calls in active combat when enemy troops had nearly blown the Reactor after sneaking on board. As such, Meta Knight had recently installed a back-up generator that was powered by solar energy. Although not as efficient or powerful as the main Reactor, the back-up generator was made to provide the Halberd with enough energy to perform an emergency landing at a nearby planet in a worst case scenario.
And yet, even with all of its weapons and back-up systems, Meta Knight couldn't help but worry when he saw the armada of Sony warships displayed in front on him. Appearance-wise the enemy ships looked strikingly familiar to the Star Destroyers and TIE fighters from the Star Wars universe. According to popular belief, this was mostly due to the fact that the Star Wars universe kept close ties with both Sony and Microsoft. However, while Microsoft went on to develop their own line of spacecrafts, Sony simply decided to "borrow" the blueprints for the Star Wars spaceships to save money. Of course, they did add several small design changes but one could easily see where the original idea had come from.
As soon as everyone was seated, Ax Knight read off the statistics about the current situation.
"We've got four cruisers on our starboard side and twenty gunships on the port," Ax Knight read off from his computer screen. "Plus, there are at least six destroyers in orbit around the Advance Wars sector's main planet of Wars World."
"Have we been spotted yet?" Meta Knight asked hurriedly as he tried to formulate a battle plan.
"It doesn't seem so sir. I can't understand it, but they all seem to be distracted by something. I… wait… what the hell? Sir! One of the destroyers just opened fire on its own ship!"
"What?" Meta Knight asked as he quickly turned on the main screen to see what was happening. Just as Ax Knight had stated, a Sony Destroyer had suddenly fired on the cruiser next to it. By the time the screen came on, all that was left of the cruiser was a twisted heap of smoking metal. As Meta Knight tried to take all of this in, the rogue destroyer began moving away from the remaining cruisers and gunships that were closing in to engage it.
"Sir, we're receiving an incoming transmission from the destroyer!" Javelin Knight reported in a confused tone. "Shall I patch it through?"
After giving the matter some thought, Meta Knight gave a nod. Javelin Knight immediately acknowledged the order and turned on the communications screen. As the screen slowly lit up, a familiar voice was heard through the radio.
"… and put all power to the main engine! If we can just outrun the remaining forces, we'll be able to draw them away from the planet and make our escape!"
As the image on the screen finally came into focus, the crew members on the Halberd were shocked to see Din standing in the middle of the destroyer's control room. Dressed in her usual red dress, the Goddess of Power was seen shouting a bunch of orders to an off-screen figure as she frantically inputted commands into the hijacked ship's control board. Even more surprising however was the image of the numerous bodies strewn behind her. Apparently, the Sony crew members had tried to put up a fight when Din had made her appearance. As the image on the Halberd's screen showed, the struggle had been rather one-sided.
Realizing that her call had been answered, Din quickly turned towards the communications screen with an extremely agitated look. However, her expression quickly changed to that of surprise as she saw Meta Knight's face.
"Admiral? I thought I was contacting the nearest Nintendo outpost! Wait, does this mean you brought the Halberd all the way out here? What are you doing in a place like this?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Meta Knight replied as he stared at Din with a questioning look. "What in Miyamoto's name are you doing in the outer territories? And how did you get on board a Sony destroyer?"
Din bit her lips nervously as if she was having a hard time coming up with an answer to Meta Knight's question. Before she could say anything though, a loud beeping was heard on Din's end. Averting her eyes from her superior, she quickly pressed a button to answer the incoming call. After seeing who was calling, Din returned to the control panel so that everyone on board the Halberd could see the mystery caller as well. Almost immediately, the image of a young man wearing an orange jacket and shorts came up on screen. He had black hair and was holding a large wrench in his right hand. Although he was rarely seen in the Nintendo core worlds anymore, the young man was none other than Brigadier General Andy, the leader of the Advance Wars sector.
"Admiral Meta Knight!" Andy said in surprise as he saw the masked figure. "I sure didn't expect to see you here! Didn't the General order for all remaining forces to pull back to the core worlds?"
"I came here on my own accord," Meta Knight said quickly as he tried to get a grip on what was going on. "I couldn't just abandon our own people at a time like this."
"Umm… boys?" Din interrupted in a troubled voice. "If it's alright with you, can we please get back to the matter at hand before those cruisers catch up to me?"
"Oh, right," Andy said as he faced Meta Knight with a serious look. "We're rather short on time so I'll try to make this fast. Following the main attack by Sony forces, the last of our forces gathered in the country of Orange Star. Given the situation, I ordered a full-scale evacuation from Wars World but those Sony bastards set up a planetary blockade with their destroyers, making any attempts to leave the planet impossible. What's more, we hadn't been able to gather enough transports to get everyone out of here. Just when I'd given up hope, Din contacted me the other day and told me she could disrupt the blockade just long enough for our transports to get out of here. From what I'm seeing right now, I'd say she was fairly successful."
"Save your compliments for later," Din cut in as an alarm suddenly went off on her side. "According to the ship's computer, a distress signal's just been sent out. I'd say you've got about thirty minutes before enemy reinforcements arrive."
"The last of our transports just left," Andy replied as he checked his own computer. "Thanks to your distraction, all of them were able to get past the blockade safely."
"Wait," Meta Knight exclaimed as he suddenly realized something. "What about you, Brigadier General? How are you going to get off the planet without any transports left?"
"I don't plan to leave," Andy said with a sad smile. "This is a war Admiral, and you know that sacrifices need to be made. I've got a small army down here who's agreed to make a last stand with me. Hopefully, we'll be able to give those bastards hell before we die."
Meta Knight found himself at a loss for words when he saw the determination in Andy's eyes. However, the silence didn't last for long as Din suddenly spoke up.
"Spare me the crazy hero talk," Din said sharply as she keyed in a bunch of new commands into the control panel. "I'll turn this ship around so that you and your men can get on board. Hopefully, we'll be able to make our getaway before the reinforcements arrive."
"Forget it," Andy answered with a shake of his head. "You'll never be able to get past the other destroyers around the planet, especially with those cruisers and gunships on your tail. It'd be foolish to try and turn back."
"He's right," Meta Knight affirmed. "You're in no position to attempt a rescue mission. On the other hand…"
"Sir, you can't be serious," Captain Vul protested as he realized what Meta Knight was planning to do. "The Halberd might be able to hold its own against two or three of those destroyers but going up against five at the same time? That's suicide!"
"With any luck, we won't have to confront anything when we go in," Meta Knight calmly explained as he finalized his plan. "Alright, I need all of you to listen closely. With all of the commotion Din has caused, it's very likely that the Sony fleet hasn't detected the Halberd's presence yet. If so, we can slip past their defenses and safely evacuate Andy and his forces before they even realize we're there."
"What about the ground forces?" Andy questioned with a skeptical look. "Even if you get past the destroyers, you'll still have to face the Sony troops surrounding us. And don't forget the fact that they'll alert the rest of the fleet about you as soon as they see what's going on. As much as I hate to say it, there's no way to safely get us off the planet."
"That's where Din comes in," Meta Knight continued undeterred. "Using the stolen ship, she'll create a distraction by luring the other destroyers out of position."
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Din asked in an agitated tone. "We're having a hard enough time just keeping the ship moving right now!"
"We?" Andy asked in a confused tone. "I thought you were alone up there. Who else is with you right now?"
"That's not important!" Meta Knight interrupted. "If we're going perform any sort of rescue mission, we need to act now!"
"Fine," Din said after giving a quick glance to her side. "I don't know how but I'll try to create a distraction until you get out."
Meta Knight gave a nod at this and turned to face his crew.
"Captain Vul! Set course for Orange Star straight away! Sailor Dee! Prep every starfighter on board the ship! We'll need some air cover when we engage those ground forces! Trident Knight! Activate the Halberd's cloaking mechanism! If this mission is going to succeed, we'll need to remain hidden for as long as we can! As for the rest of you, prepare the ship for a full-on assault! Are all of your orders clear?"
"Sir, yes sir!"
With a final nod to his crew, Meta Knight faced the other two commanders once more.
"Try to send out a report of your current situation every few minutes. Even if everything goes according plan, which I highly doubt, it's still going to be a rough ride for all of us. Stay on your guard and we'll hopefully see each other again in a few minutes. Good luck."
Just as the three commanders gave a grim-faced nod to each other and signed off, the door to the Halberd's control room suddenly opened.
"Whew! That shower took quite a bit longer than I expected!" Red exclaimed cheerfully as he entered the room wearing a fresh pair of clothes. "So, did I miss anything important?"
xxx
Andy had been in many battles throughout his lifetime but never had he been in a fix such as the one he found himself in now. Surrounded on all sides by hostile forces with only a handful of units at hand, this was definitely a commander's worst nightmare. To make matters even worse, Din's attack on the destroyer had provoked the Sony troops into launching a full-out assault on Andy's position soon after Meta Knight proposed his rescue plan. As such, the Advance Wars commander currently found himself pinned down inside a bunker as he tried to keep the army of Call of Duty soldiers at bay until the Halberd arrived.
"Do we have anymore rockets on the eastern perimeter?" Andy shouted into the radio above the constant chatter of machine gun fire and artillery blasts. "I've got a full infantry division heading straight for me!"
After a silence that seemed to last forever to Andy, the soldier on the other end finally replied.
"We've got one more round sir. What are your coordinates?"
"Latitude 25.345 degrees north and longitude 131.035 degrees west! Give them everything you've got sergeant!"
Moments later a firestorm of rockets fell on the advancing enemy soldiers, leaving nothing but a smoking crater behind. With a sigh of relief, Andy checked around to see how the rest of his soldiers were faring. After confirming that all of them were still alive, he glanced at the small computer next to him to see the status of the other outposts. The moment the statistics appeared on the screen though, the small spark of hope that he had was immediately extinguished. The defensive perimeter that he had set up was in shambles as the enemy smashed their way through the meager defenses. At the moment, only the eastern and northern fronts were left intact, leaving the rest of his troops scrambling towards the central outpost. Given the current situation, it was only a matter of minutes before they were completely overrun.
"Commander!" one of Andy's soldiers suddenly shouted out. "We've got bombers heading towards our position!"
"Great, it's just one thing after another," Andy muttered darkly as he turned off the computer. "Alright, contact every fighter we have in the area! Get them to intercept the bombers before they reach us!"
"Understood sir!"
Unfortunately, it soon became clear that something was wrong when the call was answered by the sound of static. Fearing the worst, Andy grabbed the radio and tried to contact his sky brigade again.
"Squadron four, six, and nine, do you read me? This is Commander Andy speaking! Is there anyone out there?"
After a few more seconds of static, a voice was finally answered.
"This is… taking heavy fire… teams four and nine… shot down…"
The rest of the message was inaudible behind the sound of static but it was clear that the air force was in no shape to intercept the oncoming bombers. After some quick thinking, Andy adjusted the radio frequency to contact Meta-Knight.
"Admiral! This is Andy speaking! Are you there?"
After a few tense seconds, Meta-Knight's voice was heard through the radio.
"Activate every cannon on the starboard side! We're going to have to blast our way through now! Andy? Is that you?"
"Admiral, did something go wrong? I thought you were trying to get down here without being noticed!"
"I was," Meta-Knight replied in an annoyed tone. "Unfortunately, a certain Pokemon trainer decided to sneeze right when we were passing one of the destroyers. The sound must've triggered every alarm on the enemy ship."
"Hey, don't blame this on me!" Red complained from the side. "I wouldn't have sneezed in the first place if this room wasn't so filthy!"
This was immediately followed by the sound of a metallic object making contact with someone's head.
"Sorry, sir," Ax Knight's voice was heard. "But I've been waiting to do that for a very long time."
As the sound of what Andy assumed to be Red's unconscious body being dragged away faded, Meta Knight got back online. "Now that that's out of the way, we can focus on the real problem at hand. What's your situation Brigadier General?"
"My defensive perimeter has been breached and most of my forces are scrambling for the central outpost. There's also a squadron of bombers heading towards my position at the eastern stronghold. Given the situation, I doubt we'll still be here by the time you get your ship into position."
A brief silence followed as Meta Knight brought up a map of Wars World on his computer and tried to think of what to do.
"Okay, listen closely," Meta Knight finally answered after formulating another plan. "There should be a river a few miles to the south of your central outpost. Once I get in range, I'll send down Sailor Dee and his squad to deal with those bombers and get you out of there. Just make sure you get there before-"
The rest of his words were drowned out by the sound of cannon fire as the Halberd got into firing range of the enemy destroyer.
"Admiral? Admiral, are you there?" Andy frantically shouted out into his radio after hearing the explosions.
"We're fine!" Meta Knight answered, much to Andy's relief. "Just get your men to the river like I told you to! I'll meet up with you as soon as I'm done dealing with this!"
"But sir! The southern region has been completely taken over by the enemy! I…"
"I don't care how you get there, just do it!" Meta Knight shouted out in a stressed tone. "This is the only chance we have of making it out of here alive!"
"Understood sir," Andy quickly replied. "I'll do as you ask."
With that, Andy ended the call and turned to face his confused soldiers.
"Well, you heard the admiral!" Andy ordered as he stood up and picked up his gun. "Get everyone down to the river as quick as you can!"
xxx
"Shields at 75% and falling fast!" Ax Knight reported as the sound of cannon fire echoed all around them. "At this rate, we'll be taking hull damage in the next five minutes!"
"Dammit! Since when did these Sony destroyers get so powerful?" Captain Vul exclaimed darkly in response. "It's only been a month or so since we last saw one in combat! Where the hell did they get the funding and materials to make an upgrade within that time?"
"We can worry about that later," Meta Knight replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "For now, we have to focus on getting Andy and his men to safety. Sailor Dee, do you we have a visual on our targets?"
"We've just located them sir!" Sailor Dee responded from over the radio. "However, the situation doesn't look good! My squad and I have taken care of the bombers but the enemy ground forces are stronger than we originally thought! There are at least two armored divisions along with almost a hundred infantry heading towards the Brigadier General and we can't get anywhere near him thanks to the enemy AA fire! Unless you can distract them somehow, I doubt we'll be able to safely get him out!"
Meta Knight grew silent as he heard all of this. After a few seconds, he turned to face Javelin Knight with what the crew assumed to be a grim look.
"Javelin Knight, ready the Main Cannon #2," Meta Knight said in a grave voice. "I know it's risky but it's the only way we can take down those ground forces from our current position."
"You can't be serious sir!" Javelin Knight protested. "Even with pinpoint aiming, the Main Cannon #2 has an extremely unpredictable blast radius! If we're not careful, we could accidentally blast Commander Andy along with Sailor Dee!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Meta Knight retorted in a stressed voice. "I don't like this idea anymore than you do but it's the only way to deal with those enemy forces! Besides, if we don't do anything then Andy and Sailor Dee will be nothing more than sitting ducks in the next few minutes!"
A heavy silence enveloped the room following Meta Knight's outburst. For a while, the only sounds that could be heard were the booming of the cannons from the Halberd and the Sony destroyer. After a long pause, Javelin Knight gave a defeated sigh and turned back to his control panel. With a few press of the buttons, he activated the Halberd's ultimate weapon.
A few seconds later, a loud humming sound covered the control deck of the Halberd as the Main Cannon #2 came to life. After waiting for the cannon to charge up, Javelin Knight inputted the given coordinates and waited for the order to fire. Time seemed to come to a crawl as all eyes rested upon the ship's commander. After taking a deep breath and convincing himself that this was the only option left, Meta Knight prepared to give the dreaded order. As fate would have it however, the humming sound suddenly faded as the cannon powered down before Meta Knight could say a single word.
"What happened?" Meta Knight asked after the momentary silence. "Why did we suddenly lose power? Oh dear god. Don't tell me that the Wheelie's have gone on strike again! We can't fight a battle with just the back-up generator!"
"Er… I don't think that's the problem, sir," Javelin Knight responded as he quickly scanned the ship to look for the cause of the sudden power outage. "If the Wheelie's did go on strike again, we would have lost power to everything, not just to the cannon. From what I'm guessing, our power supply is simply being redirected to some other source."
"Another source? Like what?"
"It could be a number of things: our weapons system, the shield generator, or even the engines. Of course, I think the most likely thing would be that old microwave that you never let us replace. I swear, that thing uses up more power in a minute than the entire Mushroom Kingdom does in a year."
"Hey! I got that thing from beating Kirby at a Bingo game!" Meta Knight suddenly exclaimed. "No one's getting rid of it until I say so!"
Before this strange little dialogue could go any further, Ax Knight interrupted with some dire news.
"Sir! Someone seems to be using the teleporter in the docking bay! I don't know who it is but they seem to be using up the power to warp a number of small objects onboard the ship!"
"Is it an intruder?" Captain Vul asked quickly.
"I don't think so, sir," Ax Knight responded as he surveyed the situation more carefully. "There's no sign that the teleporter was hacked. Whoever it is, they had the correct access codes to use it."
"What? Who would be using the teleporter at a time like this? Only a complete idiot would be foolish enough to…"
Meta Knight trailed off as he reached the same conclusion as everyone else in room.
"RED!" Meta Knight shouted into the intercom allowing himself to be heard all throughout the ship. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Moments later, Red appeared on the control deck's main monitor as he contacted them through his personal communicator. Much to the crew's confusion, they saw that the Pokemon master had just flown out of the ship on his Charizard while carrying a large bag filled to the brim with Pokeballs. Before anyone could question what he was doing, Red spoke up in a surprisingly dignified voice.
"Admiral, I'm sorry for eavesdropping but I heard you give the order to use the Main Cannon #2 while our troops were nearby. And quite frankly, I can't let you do that."
"Just what do you think you're doing Major?" Captain Vul interrupted in a clearly outraged voice. "Are you saying that you're going to challenge the Admiral's orders? Do you know what-?"
"Sir," Red cut in as he faced Meta Knight with a serious look. "I have a plan to distract those enemy troops without putting our own men in danger. If you would permit me to, I can safely ensure the success of our current mission."
"Haven't you heard what Sailor Dee said? The whole place is covered with AA fire!" Captain Vul exclaimed once more. "If our entire air squadron can't break through their lines, what makes you think you have even the slightest bit of chance?"
"Please sir," Red pleaded. "I know I've caused nothing but trouble for you until now but I can definitely help. Just let me have this one chance."
Meta Knight didn't immediately respond as both Red and Captain Vul waited intently for an answer. Much to everyone's confusion, however, Meta Knight simply turned away from the monitor and activated the onboard communicator. Before anyone could question their leader's strange action, Sailor Dee appeared on-screen next to Red.
"What is it Admiral?" Sailor Dee asked in a confused tone.
"Sailor Dee, Major Red's heading your way right now," Meta Knight answered as he faced the screen once more. "I want you to provide him with cover while he implements this so-called plan of his."
"Understood sir."
"Sir, you can't be serious!" Captain Vul said incredulously. "Are you really going to leave the fate of this mission in the hands of that idiot?"
"I've personally been on many mission with the Major before and not once did he let me down," Meta Knight replied in an amused tone. "With his luck, I'm sure he'll pull through once more. Speaking of which, weren't you the one that told us not to insult a superior officer? Because I'm pretty sure I just heard you call the Major an idiot."
"Well… umm…"
Meta Knight simply laughed off his officer's confounded expression before turning back to Red.
"Either way, I leave it all to you," Meta Knight stated with a nod. "Go and show those Sony scums the true spirit of Nintendo."
"Aye, aye captain!" Red replied with a salute. "You can count on me!"
xxx
"Get moving you maggots!" General Mason (the leader of the Call of Duty soldiers in the Advance Wars sector) shouted out as his men pursued the last remains of Andy's forces through the forest. "Those Nintendo dirtbags should've been wiped out by now!"
"Sir! We've got an incoming message from the C.S.S. Lockhart!" one of the generic CoD soldier suddenly stated. "The rogue destroyer just took down another one of our cruisers as well as almost half of our gunships!"
"What do those idiots think they're doing up there?" Mason shouted out furiously as he came to a halt. "How can those noobs not take down a single ship?"
"Umm… that's not all sir," the CoD com officer stated nervously. "It seems that the Highwind is taking quite a beating from the newly arrived ship. In fact, they're requesting immediate back-up from the other destroyers in orbit sir!"
"Worthless," Mason spat out angrily as he tried to come up with a plan. "I swear, it's like my men are all ten-year old kids or something."
After spending a few more minutes muttering to himself about his soldiers' incompetence, Mason finally turned back to the com officer to relay his orders.
"Tell all of our destroyers to pursue after the hijacked ship! I want it blown to smithereens before Lord Sephiroth gets here with the reinforcements!"
"What about the Highwind, sir? From the sound of things, they won't last much longer against that Nintendo battlecruiser!"
"They can burn for all I care," Mason replied in a scathing tone. "I have no use for a bunch of weaklings who couldn't even outplay a single Nintendo warship. Besides, it's obvious that ship is on its way to rescue the last remains of this planet's defenses. Of course, I'll make sure that there's nothing left for them to rescue once they get here."
Before the com officer could say anything, his radio fizzed to life as a message came across from their eastern front.
"Commander! Those starfighters are back again!" the soldier on the other end shouted out. "Also, there seems to be a… a…"
"A what?" Mason asked in an annoyed tone.
"It… seems to be some kind of giant, flying dragon, sir! And… oh my god! It's breathing fire at us!"
"You idiot! That's obviously a Charizard from the Pokemon universe! Stop freaking out and just shoot the damn thing with your missiles already!"
"We're trying, sir, but those starfighters are providing some heavy cover for it! They're shooting down every missile we fire!"
"Argh! Incompetent fools! Do I spell out everything for you idiots? Just use the AA gun to shoot it down!"
"We… umm… lost the AA gun from that lizard's initial fire attack…"
"God damn it! Just hold your position! I'll bring over my own personal squad to deal with this!"
"U… Understood sir! I'll be… wh… what? Sir! There seems to be a kid on top of that Char… lizard thingy!"
"So? That's obviously the Pokemon trainer who owns that thing! Why are you bothering to tell me all of this?"
"Well… he seems to be throwing something at us and… what the? What are these things? Hey! Don't… oh… oh god… help… HELP!"
A large number of monstrous roars and screams followed soon afterwards before the transmission finally ended with the sound of static. A fear-filled silence surrounded Mason and his men as they all stood frozen to their spot after hearing this chilling message. After a few seconds, Mason broke the silence by giving his usual angry muttering before facing his men with a deep scowl.
"What do you think you're all standing around for? It's obvious that we're needed to finish up the job here! Hurry up and get moving!"
As much as the CoD soldiers were afraid of whatever the enemy had in store for them, the thought of being singled out by their angry commander for disobeying him scared them even more. After a slight hesitation, all the CoD soldiers gathered up their gear and set off once more towards the site of the battle.
After several minutes of running, Mason and his men came across the site where their eastern front used to be. Much to everyone's horror, all that was left of the place was a smoking crater with all of the trees either burnt to ashes or torn out and thrown off into the distance. No sign remained of the former army that was encamped there as not even a single dead body was left behind. From the strange tracks leading off into the woods, it was obvious that whatever had attacked the CoD soldiers was now long-gone. Nevertheless, Mason's men were still nervous about going anywhere near the crater.
Just as Mason was about to yell at his men to start moving forward again, the loud sound of static came from the com officer's radio as a message came through. With an annoyed look, Mason personally grabbed the radio and answered.
"This is Commander Mason. What is your…"
"Sir! This is Staff Sergeant Griggs reporting from the northern front! I've just received a message from both the southern and western fronts! It seems that Nintendo forces have destroyed both of our forces there! From what I can tell, the western front was hit with a direct bombardment from the Nintendo warship while the southern front near the river was completely annihilated by the Advance Wars troops! I…"
General Mason didn't bother listening to the rest of the report as he began swearing like a madman in his fit of rage. After taking several seconds to calm down, he adjusted the frequency on the radio as he contacted the Highwind.
"This is Mason! Would any of you idiotic noobs care to tell me how you managed to fail at destroying a single Nintendo warship?"
After a brief silence, someone from the other end finally spoke up.
"I'm sorry, sir! It's just that we suddenly lost power during the battle and had to retreat! It seems someone cut all the wires in our main power grid leaving us with nothing but our emergency generators! I…"
"I don't want to hear your excuses!" Mason interrupted furiously. "Thanks to you morons, we just lost both our western and southern fronts! I swear, if I manage to get my hands on any of you, I'll make sure that…"
Before Mason could complete his death threat, one of his soldiers suddenly pointed to the sky and gave a loud yell.
"Great gods of Activision! It's that Pokemon trainer again and he's heading straight towards us! Everyone run for your lives!"
Upon hearing this, all hell broke loose as the CoD soldiers began scurrying around in fear like a bunch of headless chickens. The pandemonium only came to a stop when General Mason got off the radio and shot one his men with his pistol. After seeing this, the rest of the CoD soldiers quickly quieted down and quickly formed ranks again.
"It's about time I got to kill something today," Mason stated in an ominous whisper as he put away his pistol. As his terrified men watched, Mason pulled out the AK-47 strapped to his back and turned to face his troops with a glare. "Alright you worms, listen up! I want all of our AA guns deployed before that Pokemon trainer and his giant lizard gets here! Once he gets within firing range, we'll shoot out a couple of missiles to distract them! While they're busy dealing with that, we'll focus down that accursed Pokemon trainer with the AA guns when he comes down to attack the missile turrets! Did all of you get that?"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
With that, the CoD soldiers immediately set out to complete their commander's orders. In a matter of seconds, both their AA guns and missile turrets were fully up and running as they watched the Nintendo forces make their way towards them. As they closer and closer, Mason prepared to give the order to fire the first missile shot. Before he could do so, however, the starfighters suddenly broke away from the Pokemon trainer as they headed off in another direction. As Mason watched in confusion, the Pokemon trainer and his Charizard continued to head towards them by themselves before beginning to fly in circles above the encampment of CoD soldiers. Instead of heading down to attack them though, the Pokemon trainer and his Charizard simply stayed in the air just out of reach of the AA guns. Befuddled by this strange tactic, Mason grabbed a pair of binoculars to see exactly what his adversary was doing. What he saw only left him with more questions. From the looks of things, the Pokemon trainer seemed to be grabbing handfuls of small, white-and-red balls from the bag he was carrying and throwing them at the army below. Only as the balls fell close enough to see with the naked eye did Mason finally figure out that they were actually Pokeballs.
"Shit!" Mason yelled out as he realized what was going on. "Everyone take cover! He's going to summon a bunch of monsters from those Pokeballs!"
Unfortunately, his warning came out too late as all of the Pokeballs began to open up right above the CoD soldiers. With a brilliant flash of white and the sound of pure energy being released, the Pokeballs opened to reveal… a bunch of orange-colored fish.
"Wha…?"
As the CoD soldiers watched with a confused expression, a whole school of these strange fish fell around them and began to flop around pathetically once they hit the ground. Upon closer inspection, the soldiers saw that the fish were all oval-shaped and had long, whisker-like barbels near their mouth. Aside from that, there weren't any other distinctive features on them.
"What the hell is with these stupid fish?" Mason yelled angrily as one of the fish landed right in front of him. "Is that kid trying to taunt me?"
"Umm… what should we do with these things, sir?" one of the CoD soldiers asked uncertainly as one of the fish flopped in front of him.
"Isn't it obvious? Just kick them out of the way so that they don't interfere with us!"
With that, Mason kicked away the fish in front of him as an example for his men. Soon, everyone began kicking the fish as well as they followed their leader's order.
"There!" Mason yelled out as he turned back to his men. "Now that that's dealt with, we can focus on… what's happening to the fish?"
Just as Mason had stated, something strange was happening to all of the fish. They all began to glow with a white light as they started to slowly grow in size. As the CoD soldiers watched in horror, all of the fish that they had just cleared away began to change form as they grew ever larger. Soon, the glowing entities were all larger than the trees surrounding them as their transformation came to an end. As the white light enveloping their bodies faded, the CoD soldiers could finally see the true terror that the fish had evolved to.
Standing in front of them was an army of giant, blue sea dragons the size of skyscrapers. All of them had a large dark-blue crest at the top of their head and four white fins along its back. They still retained the long barbels from their previous form but they were quickly overlooked due to their large, gaping mouths with four very-noticeable fangs that looked sharp enough to tear through steel. General Mason had just enough time to identify these creatures as the Pokemon known as Gyarados before the creature leading them gave out an angry roar.
Everyone, even Mason, flinched at the terrifying sound that the creature produced. However, this was only the start of their nightmare. From the angry looks on their faces, it was apparent that the Gyarados bore a heavy grudge against the soldiers that had just kicked them around. Also, the heavy amount of drool that the creatures were producing indicated that they were all hungry from their sudden evolution. And as fate would have it, an entire buffet of humans was standing directly in front of them.
"Umm… General?" one of the CoD soldiers spoke up as the Gyarados slowly began to move towards them. "Before we become dragon chow I'd just like you to know that… well… you're the worst commander ever."
And with that, the screaming and feasting began.
xxx
"In all my years as a captain, I have never seen such a ridiculous plan work as well as yours Major," Captain Vul stated as Red, Sailor Dee, and Andy all made it up to the Halberd's control deck as all the crew members began cheering and applauding wildly. "Honestly, where did you even come up with the idea to throw Magikarps at the enemy?"
"Eh, it was just something I saw on an old Saturday morning cartoon," Red answered with a carefree shrug. "Of course, I've had the idea for my 'Magikarpet Bombing' tactic for a pretty long time but never had the chance to implement it."
"Well, either way, you just saved both me and my men today," Andy said with a salute. "And for that you have my eternal gratitude."
"Ah, you're giving me too much credit," Red said in an embarrassed tone. "Besides I only took down the eastern forces. It was Meta Knight and his crew that took care of the rest of the enemy. Speaking of which, whatever happened to that enemy destroyer you were battling? The last I saw, neither side seemed to be winning the engagement."
"You know, I'm a bit confused by that as well," Captain Vul replied with a thoughtful look. "They just suddenly stopped firing at us and retreated without a word.
"Eh, what does it matter?" Sailor Dee said as he pulled out a bottle of champagne from the onboard cooler. "I think we should all take this time to party!"
"It's a bit early to be celebrating just yet," Meta Knight interrupted as he activated the communicator. "We're still inside enemy territory and we haven't had word about what the other Sony destroyers are doing right now. Ah, there we go. Din, this is Meta Knight speaking. What's your current situation?"
After a brief pause, Din appeared on the main screen looking tired but triumphant.
"Everything went according to plan Admiral," Din said with a smile. "All of the destroyers have pulled out of position to chase after us. You can safely leave the planet without having to worry about a counterattack."
"And what about you?"
"You don't have to worry about me. I've managed to put enough distance between me and the destroyers to get away safely as well. In fact, I'm charging up the ship's warp engines to get out of here in just a second."
"I suppose this is where we part ways then," Meta Knight acknowledged with a nod. "You've helped us out quite a bit great goddess. This mission wouldn't have succeeded if it wasn't for you."
"There's no need to thank me Admiral. However, I would like it if you kept my involvement in all of this a secret from the General. I've got more work to do around these parts and the last thing I want is to have the entire Lylat fleet after me or something."
"My lips are sealed. Besides, we're not exactly here on the General's orders either so I doubt we'll be reporting any of this to him anytime soon."
"You have my thanks," Din said with a salute. "Now then, I think it's time for me to make my getaway. Prepare to activate the main warp drives!"
"Wait a second," Andy cut in before the communication ended. "I just have a quick question before you leave. Who's your mysterious associate that's been helping you out? I would really like to thank him as well for assisting in this rescue mission."
Din's smile faltered for a second as if this was a question she would have rather avoided. However, she quickly hid her unease and gave a small laugh before answering.
"Oh, him? He's just an old… friend… of mine. He's rather people-shy so I doubt he'd like to talk with all of you but I'm sure he appreciates the gratitude," Din replied in a slightly too cheerful voice. "Ahem. Now then, I should really get moving before those destroyers get any closer. Farwell, everyone. May the great Miyamoto watch over you all."
With that, Din ended the transmission and activated her ship's warp engine. Thousands of miles away from Wars World, Din's ship disappeared from view as it flew off to destinations unknown.
"I think it's about time we got moving as well," Meta Knight told his crew members as he sat down on his personal chair. "We may have won the battle here but the war still goes on. There are still hundreds, no thousands, of planets that need our help. And we're going to do everything in our power to bring hope to them all. Ax Knight! Thrusters on full! We're heading out!"
"Yes, sir!"
As the Halberd flew out of Wars World's orbit, time seemed to come to a brief halt as the great Nintendo flagship began powering up its warp engines. The stars themselves seemed to shine ever brighter as our heroes prepared to blast off to their next epic adventure in the great vastness of space.
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Halberd. Her ongoing mission: to rescue the strange outer rim worlds, to defeat the evil Sony empire, and boldly go where no video game character has gone before.
"Major Red? I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the intercom to make silly Star Trek references."
"Sorry Admiral."
And with that, the adventures of the starship Halberd continued.
xxx
"Old friend, huh? Is that what you think of me as?"
"Shut it, Master Chief. I was simply trying to keep your identity a secret," Din said from her position in the captain's chair. "Besides, you're more like an annoying dog to me that just won't stop following me."
"I'm hurt Din," the heavily-armored form of Microsoft's lead executive stated sarcastically. "I truly am."
"Oh, shut it. Speaking of which, where'd that freaky kid go off to? I haven't seen him since we started luring the destroyers away."
"I don't suppose you're talking about me now, are you?"
As he said this, the fedora-wearing enigma known as Arc suddenly appeared next to Din carrying a large wire-clipper in his right hand.
"Dammit! How many times have I told you not to do that?" Din stated angrily as Arc gave a small laugh at the goddess's surprised look. "And what the hell are you doing with that giant wire-clipper?"
"Oh, I thought Meta Knight needed some help dealing with that destroyer during the mission so I lent him a hand," Arc stated with a chuckle. "It's amazing how easy it is to shut down an entire ship by snipping a few wires."
"Yeah, well, don't get any funny ideas about doing that to this ship," Din said in an annoyed voice. "I don't know about you but both Master Chief and I can't teleport instantly to wherever we please. Even I need a spaceship when it comes to interstellar travel."
"Pity," Arc stated as he walked over to one of the ship's computers while making the wire-clipper he was carrying magically vanish. "Who would've thought that an almighty goddess who could create worlds would need a spaceship to travel across space? Then again, I guess I shouldn't expect too much from someone who believes that there are only 10 billion alternate dimensions out there."
"Ugh. Talking with you always gives me a headache," Din complained as she started looking for a recline feature on her chair. "Well, whatever the case, at least we managed to get our hands on a ship without too much trouble."
"Hey, the only reason we got out of there safely was because of my piloting skills," Master Chief declared proudly. "Honestly, if it wasn't for my quick analysis and understanding of the enemy's shield array and their weapon's system we would've…"
"Enough!" Din shouted out as she finally got her chair to finally lean all the way back. "I think it's safe to say that I've earned myself some rest! The next person to bother me will be immediately ejected out of the airlock, understood?"
Both Master Chief and Arc simply gave a sigh and a shrug at this death threat before turning away from the irate goddess.
Just as Din was about to lie down and get some rest, a loud beeping noise was heard coming from the goddess's pocket.
"Oh come on!" Din complained as she sat up and pulled out her communicator. "Can't I get a little shut-eye around here?"
The angry expression didn't last long however as Din saw who was calling.
"What the…? Why's the Happy Mask Salesman trying to contact me at a time like this? I only told him to call me if… oh no. Arc! Can you warp the HMS onto this ship?"
"Give me a minute," Arc replied. "I just found that there's Galaga on this computer! Man, this is one my favorite games of all times! Well, aside from Final Fantasy MDXXVI but that won't be released for another thousand years or so."
"Arc!"
"Oh, alright."
With a simple clap from Arc, the Happy Mask Salesman suddenly materialized in front of Din.
"What happened?" Din asked before the HMS could even question where he was at. "Did something happen to Malon?"
"Huh, what?" the mask salesman replied as he tried to gather his bearings. "I… uh…"
"Answer me already!"
"Well… I've certainly got news about your daughter but there's something more important that I need to tell you!"
"What is it?" Master Chief asked.
"It's Cloud!" the HMS practically shouted out. "Yuna just reported to me that he's snuck into Termina! I don't know exactly what's going on but from what Yuna's told me, Cloud's trying to build some kind of secret base there! Plus, he's brought his team with him as well!"
"His team?" Din asked in a confused tone. "Like who?"
"Tifa, Yuffie, Cid, Barret, the whole freaking team! Heck, Yuna said that even the new chick called Lightning is with them! The only one she didn't see was Sephiroth but from what she gathered he's hanging out somewhere in the outer rim territories!"
Everyone was stunned silent after hearing this shocking news. Of course, Arc was the only one who seemed indifferent to the whole thing as he was currently absorbed in his game of Galaga. After several minutes of silence broken only by the beeping sounds coming from Arc's game, Master Chief decided to ask the question that was on everyone's minds.
"What are we going to do about this? If Cloud manages to establish a base in one of the core Nintendo worlds, there's no telling what kind of trouble he'll cause. In fact, if he takes over Termina, then Organization VII will have firm staging point to launch a two-way offensive on Nintendo from both the outside and the inside."
After thinking about this problem for few more seconds, Din finally came up with an answer.
"What we need is a distraction. From what it sounds like, Cloud isn't willing to reveal his presence there until he's brought over enough troops to completely take over Termina before the Nintendo council realizes what's happened. If that's the case, he'll be attempting to construct a warp gate in Termina to bring over his troops in secret. All we have to do is prevent them from completing this warp gate while I alert the Nintendo council to Cloud's actions. Knowing how slow the council acts though, we'll need the distraction to last for quite a long time until we can actually launch a strike at him."
"But how are you going to distract him?" Master Chief asked. "If Cloud suspects even the slightest bit that we're onto his plan, he'll just sneak away again before we get there."
"I think we have just the thing for this," Din said as she faced the Happy Mask Salesman. "Do you still have Majora's Mask with you?"
"Yeah," the HMS answered in a confused tone. "But what… Oh! You don't mean…?"
"Exactly. Operation Moonfall is going to be our distraction plan."
"Wait what?" Master Chief asked. "What the hell is Operation Moonfall?"
"Let's just say that it involves an evil mask, a moon, a time-loop, and one Hero of Time," the HMS answered. "In this case though, I'd say the infinite time-loop thing is the main focus of our plan."
"Well, I still don't get it but I guess the two of you know what you're doing," Master Chief said with a shrug.
"Alright then, we'll get Arc to send you over to Hyrule immediately," Din said with a confident gleam in her eyes. "If we're lucky, we can take down Cloud and put an end to all of this in a matter of three days. That is if Link doesn't end up messing up all of this with his crazy antics. Speaking of which, didn't you say that you had also had news regarding Malon?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't think you'll like it."
"What happened?" Din asked in worried tone. "Did something go wrong in her timeline?"
"That's the thing," the Happy Mask Salesman answered rather nervously. "I don't know how she did it but… Malon's made her way back into this timeline."
"WHAT?"
And off in the corner, unbeknownst to anyone, the puppet master behind all of this couldn't help but give a knowing laugh just as he blew up the final bug in his game.