A/N:Please as always let me know what ya think!
It had been a week since Tom had placed some of Matthew's belongings in Mary's room. Anna had told him that Mary now slept in the shirt and when she went to wake Mary in the morning, Mary looked like a small child cuddled up to the toy dog. He hoped this would be another step towards Mary's recovery but he had yet to see any other signs of improvement. His next step was going to be to suggest an outing for Sybbie and William.
….
"Mary, I wondered if you and William would like to accompany Sybbie and I on a picnic. The day looks set to be rather fine and I reckon the fresh air would do us all good" said Tom, boldly.
Mary was rather shocked at the request if she was completely honest, so shocked she almost forget that Matthew was gone but then it all came flooding back. She was not quite sure how to reply. On one hand, she felt she should say yes, for William's and Sybbie's sake but then she had not left the house for ages. She did not want to be seen.
"Take Anna and William, I do not feel up to it" and then she left the nursery as quickly as she possibly could.
Tom felt deflated. He had hoped that she would say yes for William if not for herself but no. Then he remembered what Isobel had said about keeping the requests constant and swore that the next day he would try once more.
…..
The next day, his request was greeted with a much similar "Take Anna or Edith" and this went on for several days sfter that. On the seventh day, Mary finally agreed. This for Tom, felt like a great victory.
"Great! I shall have Mrs Patmore prepare a basket and then we will go." He smiled at her and left to arrange it.
Mary was not quite sure how she felt. On the whole the answer was really, nothing. She would put up with this picnic and then that would be that. She could then go back to hiding in her bedroom. She should, perhaps, have guessed that Tom had other plans but then Mary did not understand any of Tom's motivations. Surely it was more for William than for her? She asked anna to fetch her coat and hat and she looked for her sturdier shoes. When Tom returned he was pleased to see her ready and he said "Shall we fetch the children?"
Mary gave only a nod in reply and they walked to the nursery. Mary ensured William was well wraped up, it was sure to be cold outside as it was February. Tom looked at her questioningly and said "Mary it is not a cold day".
"It is cold, it is February after all" she replied.
A sudden sad realisation swept over Tom, she had no idea. She had not been keeping up with the date or the time or anything. Oh Mary, he thought.
"Mary it is almost April" he said, gently.
Mary froze with the shock of hearing this news, her expression turned to one of complete confusion as her brain struggled to process what Tom had said. Surely it had not been so long? Mary was quiet for so long that Tom was beginning to worry but then she seemed to recover some composure. She unwrapped some of William's layers and then looked at Tom as though she saying that she was ready.
They set off in the car towards a lake close by. Tom did try to engage Mary in conversation but she ignored him, her focus remained on William. Tom sighed. Every time he thought he was making progress, he was rebuked. How long would it take for Mary to realise she needed to wake up from her grieving slumber? They then arrived and Tom laid out the blanket and the picnic. He encouraged Sybbie to eat and then turned to Mary. He offered her a salmon mousse sandwhich which she took without comment. He watched as she nibbled it, never taking a proper bite. At this point Sybbie began to demand his attention and he wrenched his eyes of Mary to get her some lemonade. Sybbie wanted to play tig but of course, with two people it would be a rather pointless game.
"Auntie Mary, would you please play with us?" Sybbie asked, sweetly.
"I….." Mary hesitated.
Tom's temper was beginning to boil over. He understood Mary's feeling perfectly as he had gone through the same thing. Yet, for his Sybbie, he would do anything and he would not have Mary ruin Sybbie's day. While he knew that he had to be gentle with Mary as she was so fragile, it was long time. So he leant over and began to whisper in her ear: "Mary, you will not disappoint your sister's daughter. You are her aunt. Sybbie lost someone she loved that day too. Don't let her see you as lost too"
Mary was shocked at his boldness, since that first time he had tried to speak to her he had stuck to only subjects such as the weather or the estate. She did not know what to say.
"I…." she repeated herself.
"Mary!"
"I cannot Tom, I cannot! Please forgive me!" and with that she picked up William and headed back to the car.
Tom almost smiled, that was the most emotional display Mary had shown since Matthew's death.
…
That evening Tom found Mary in the nursery. She was cradling William who was crying profusely. He stood in the doorway and watched as she calmed him down. When William had finally fallen asleep she placed him in the crib and turned to face him.
"Hello" was all Tom said.
Looking at the ground, Mary said "hello" back.
"Mary, I am not angry about today" he said.
Without warning, a tear slid down Mary's face.
"Oh Tom, I have been so terribly foolish. I feel so guilty." She began to cry.
"My dear Mary, what is there to feel guilty for?" he said putting his arm around her.
"Matthew and I, we could have had so much longer together, if only I had accepted him when he asked me the first time!" She tore herself away from him and disappeared.
…..
The next morning….
"Where is Lady Mary Carson?"
"Gone Mr Branson. She took the earliest train, she did not say where to. She has taken Master William."
Tom was speechless.