A/N Ugh, i'll explain the long not updating fiasco on the end notes. But right now i hope, you really enjoy this! BTW I LOST MY MUSE GUYS

Stiles revels in the feel of Derek leaning against him, his warm breath on his face and he feels like sobbing. He feels like breaking down and crying his heart out and saying the words that haunt him and scream at him but he would never do that, not now anyway. He would never show that to anybody else, sobbing is reserved for nights alone in a motel room when he knows there's no one. When he realises he's alone.

And that's how it should fucking stay. So Stiles finds the strength to pull away from the intoxicating heat of Derek and he would have walked away. Packed his bags and never come back to this town that somehow still feels like home. He would've gone if it wasn't for Derek's hand brushing over his hand and then grasping it and Stiles can't. Not with Derek. He can't carry on lying.

"Even if I tell you what happened I can't promise that I'll stay." Stiles steeled his heart and ignored the look on Derek's face when he said that. "I'll probably leave because I can't stay. Do you understand me Derek, i can't" Stiles needs Derek to understand, he needs him to. So when Derek asks "Why?" he squeezes his hand and grabs Derek's shoulder and then his neck, and then his face.

"I cannot stay in this town." Stiles tries to convey through his eyes what he's saying, Derek was always the best at reading him anyway. He knows he's got it when Derek's eyes widen and he tries to speak but Stiles stops him because it's not safe.

"It's not safe to say it. Don't ask me. Let's just say that those demons that brought me here are part of a bigger plan and you are most definitely not getting involved because you do not need to. So don't tell me and don't ask me." He tried to put as much steel in his voice until he was sure his eyes were burning with it. Some of his instincts were screaming at him that it wasn't a good idea to order an Alpha to do anything but the bigger part of him knew it was Derek. That's all that mattered.

Derek sighed under his breath and took a step closer to Stiles, "Don't think I've forgotten that you still haven't told me. Who did it?"

Stiles wanted to fucking punch something. How many times had he heard that in his life now? When he would take his shirt off or his sleeves rolled up and peoples eyes would go round and jaws would drop and eventually the question would come up and logically he knew that they weren't thinking about the words they were saying but stiles would still feel a shiver race through him every single damn time. It... put so simply, was hours of torture and screaming and please god no.

Stiles pulled away then, he couldn't do this while touching someone, it felt wrong. He ignored the start of headache in his temple, and his sore knee, and scar in the middle of his back that stung no matter what he did. He walked to his nightstand and straightened his dagger, just for something to do. Derek seemed to understand that he needed time to think and to be able to get the words out in the right way. The warmth of Derek's touch on his hand lingered so he took a deep breath and try to close himself off from the memories flashing behind his eyelids.

"I don't remember when they took me. I just woke up and I was there... and so were they. I didn't realise at first, I didn't know."

Stiles feels his heart speed up and his palms start sweating and his breathing was speeding up and no. He was stronger than this; he proved that he was stronger than this. But his mind was screaming and the headache that was in his temple seemed to have spread all through his body until everywhere ached and when he closed his eyes the world changed.

A long screeching sound in the distance was bugging him. Stiles woke up slowly but surely and there seemed to be a thick suffocating fog in his mind stopping him from waking up quicker but he didn't mind it was just that sound was getting on his nerves. He slowly became aware of an ache in his shoulders and upper arms and that's what finally convinced him to force his eyes open. When he did he slammed them back down.

That wasn't his bedroom ceiling, Stiles was pretty sure that was no ones bedroom ceiling and if it was that person is really unfortunate. He really hoped there wasn't another fight and he ended up in one of Derek's really questionable living spaces. He braced himself and opened his eyes.

The ceiling was disgusting, really, and when he looked down he realised that of course the floor was too. He tried to ignore the quickly rising panic inside of him and focused on the fact the fact that his hands were bound behind him. The screeching sound was still going in the background, it was rhythmic and loud and frightening. When he looked around to the source of the noise he had to try really freakin' hard to keep his panic at a reasonable level. There was a man sitting in a chair sharpening a knife. He was just a normal looking dude, short dirty blonde hair which didn't really match his skin tone, a bit of a crooked nose and big eyes. The man was sitting on an old looking fold up chair that was a really vile shade of green, like really who made that design decision. Stiles looked back up to the man when the screeching noise stopped. The man was looking straight at him, knife in hand and Stiles was trying hard not to shake. He'd been taken a lot of times but somehow this felt different. His instincts were screaming at him that this was different.

"Hello, Stiles." The man's voice was really very underwhelming, Stiles figured it should have been more frightening taking into account that he was sharpening a knife. "You comfortable?"

No Stiles was not fucking comfortable. Whatever was holding his hands together was frickin' chafing and something in the background was dripping, but Stiles wasn't the type to just come out and say it like that. "Well, I gotta admit, it's a bit underwhelming. I was expecting five stars. I didn't even get a mint on my rat infested floor."

The man chuckled and the fact that he just looked like a normal, light-hearted man was really creeping Stiles out. Stiles sighed, "Look man, I've been through this a thousand times and I'm kinda tired so if you would so kindly tell me why I'm currently sitting on this dirty ass floor we can hurry this up. And can you please tell me your name because seriously I don't want to keep calling you man in my head."

A door creaked and another man walked in silently. He just stared at Stiles for a long minute and then walked back out. Stiles shuddered and suddenly felt cold all over.

The man carried on speaking as if there was no interruption, "My name's Lucas" He said it so dismissively that Stiles didn't doubt it was his real name. "What do you mean this happens all the time?"

Stiles would groan if he didn't think it would get him killed. So instead he tipped his head back so it hit the wall behind him and lowered his eyes to look at Lucas. "So what monster of the week are you?" He didn't have a vampiry presence and he most definitely was not a werewolf. Stiles had dealt with enough of them to know when he was speaking to one. The dude who walked in felt freaky, but not supernatural freaky. Stiles opened his mouth to speak but Lucas spoke first, "I don't know what you're talking about, but I think it's about time we got to the fun part, don't you?"

Stiles only noticed the small metal table when Lucas started dragging it over to him. It was filled with instruments of all different sizes, some were blunt and some were very, very sharp. Sharp enough that Stiles started to worry. Stiles tried to protest and shimmy away as Lucas came closer and closer but the thing tying his hands was attached to something and he could hardly shift a couple of centimetres to the side without it straining his shoulders.

Lucas' footsteps echoed in the warehouse and Stiles wondered if this was the end for him, because those footsteps sounded like it. The closer and louder they got the more Stiles' mind screamed at him to run hard and fast but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything and he hoped that if this was the end that it was fast.

Stiles was right about it being the end. After what Lucas did to him he felt dead, every instinct that was screaming at him a before had quietened and he had gone numb.

But Stiles couldn't be more wrong about it being fast. It was slow and he couldn't describe the pain in words. Every time he thought it had peaked Lucas pulled out something that would hurt impossibly more. Even when he had stopped cutting and burning and ruining Stiles still felt it. There were no words for it. None at all.

It carried on like that for a while and soon Stiles realised that Lucas didn't know shit about the supernatural. Stiles had tried begging and pleading. He offered all the information he knew but all he would get in return were these stares that almost made him doubt his own sanity. It seemed like Lucas was doing this for shits and giggles and as soon as Stiles realised that he threw up all over the floor. Lucas had been furious and he had gotten a deep burn on with a heated pipe on his back for that. It felt like it had touched his spine and Stiles genuinely had no idea how he was still alive. With all the blood he'd lost and the brands on his skin he felt like there was nothing of himself left.

The other man never touched him though. He would come in and stare at him, at times bring water or food but he never hurt him.

It felt like years before Stiles zoned out. One day it became too much and he just…switched off. He still felt the pain and he still knew where he was but it didn't seem to matter anymore. Stiles wondered if this was death. He didn't think death was your heart stopping, he'd met supernatural creatures that had no heart and they were still alive. But to Stiles, this was death. It sure felt like it.

The first time Stiles zoned back in was when everything around him changed. One second he was dimly aware of the same warehouse he'd been looking at for months and then he was in a completely different room. It had a carpet and a bed and lamp. But that barely stirred Stiles as the torture just kept coming. Lucas would make comments like, "You're no fun when you're not screaming. Why won't you scream for me?" and Stiles hoped with all the little soul he had left that Lucas would kill him. It was the only thing he wanted, the only thing he needed. He realised it wasn't a matter of want anymore. It was need. Pure and simple. Stiles needed to die.

Sometimes Lucas would bring people who would join in. Stranger's faces would loom over him and Stiles was so broken that he couldn't stop himself from comparing them to his friends. Some of them would have Scott's eyes or Erica's hair or Danny's nose. And Stiles would laugh, long and hard and hysterically until the people would start asking what was wrong with him, would start hurting so he would stop but he couldn't. So he just laughed louder and they would hit harder and burn deeper and sometimes when the burns went so deep he could feel his bones searing he couldn't help but quietly think if this was what Peter felt like when the Hale house was burning around him. If it was, he couldn't blame him for going mad. Stiles felt like he was going crazy from it.

At some point a stranger came in who felt different. And not in a good way. The supernatural warning bells in his brain were ringing a riot and Stiles felt a spark of life in him. When the man's eyes turned black and his smile stretched wide over his face was when Stiles spoke for the first time in months.

"Oh shit"

"Oh shit is right boy"

Derek didn't know what to do. One second Stiles' face went scarily blank than he had moved backwards so fast his back hit the wall with a sharp smack. Derek walked forward to try and shake him out of his trance but then Stiles started to laugh and Derek's heart ached with it. It sounded hysterical yes, but the undertone of it was pain. A lot of it.

After a minute the shock wore off and Derek stepped forward and grasped Stiles' shoulders but no matter how hard he shook him Stiles wouldn't stop. He kept going and going and Derek had the urge to cover his ears.

After ten minutes of trying not to cover his ears with the sound of Stiles laughing, the noise turned to a sob and Stiles' eyes were present again and they were so, so sad but also so furious. He pushed Derek back with a force that was bordering on inhuman.

It was like there was a fire brewing behind Stiles' eyes and his presence was suddenly so much bigger than it was a second ago. It filled the room and the air until Derek felt like he was breathing in Stiles.

Stiles stepped close to Derek and he wanted to step back because still after all these years he was still afraid of fire. It didn't matter what kind. "Do you know what it takes to break a person, Derek? Do you know what it takes to break me? They didn't take me for information, or even to send some stupid goddamn message. It wasn't because of any supernatural bullshit. It was for fun, that's all it was. And do you know what that means. It means that I couldn't do anything to make them stop, I couldn't give them anything. That's not even the worst part. Do you know what's the worst part is" Derek just shakes his head and his fingers twitch with the need to pull Stiles to him.

"The worst part, the absolute worst part, was that they were human."

Derek had no idea what to say to that. His mind was blank accept for the part of his brain screaming Stiles, Stiles, Stiles, Stiles. In all the years that Stiles had been missing he had never entertained the thought that someone with no affiliation to the supernatural world had taken him. Sometimes at night when he was alone he thought that maybe Stiles had left, he was smart enough not to leave a trail. But he'd never seriously thought about this. That it was just a human, a sick twisted human.

A/N So I actually wrote this a couple of days ago and then i basically burnt my whole arm off. So i have some giant ass burn on my arm and ugh, life. Basically, i picked the wrong time to start writing this fanfic. Although the tragedy that is my life gave me a couple of ideas i have seriously had a really horrible time right now. Please no flaming tomatoes. I will try my absolute hardest to write more of this story because it isn't over yet, i promise you. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any ideas you can review and leave them. Or if you want anything to feature in the story. If i can make it happen, it will! thanks guys.