Alright...I can't even begin to apologize for how long it's been. Please forgive me. I just started my first semester of college in August and I've been adjusting. Hopefully I'll be able to write more now that I've got a schedule down pat. Anyways, don't be too mad at me and enjoy this chapter. Footnote: I still have Pippin being a Guard of the Citadel even though he wouldn't be doing it because Boromir died. We'll see where that takes us. Enjoy!

Chapter Ten

I went back to bed, but couldn't even close my eyes without seeing the fire that had raged in Boromir's eyes. I had the morning shift at the Houses the next morning and was so happy that Boromir wasn't present. The Lord Faramir did not look much better and I carefully applied the medicine to his wounds. There was no one else present in the Houses so I took a seat and pulled a book out.

I was snapped out of my book nearly an hour later when Pippin arrived. "How is Faramir?"

"Not much better, I'm afraid." I shook my head slightly. "I am not sure what it is, Pippin. The medicine should be curing him and it is healing the wounds, but he does not recover." I had been distraught about the situation, all of us Healers had been. We could not figure it out for the lives of us.

"I have faith in you," Pippin said encouragingly.

"Thank you, Pippin."

"Is anything else wrong?" Pippin asked me softly. "You look very tired."

Pippin was shaping up to be my best friend. I hadn't had many friends my own age since I moved to Minas Tirith. I had spent most of my time with Reallan and there weren't any other young women who weren't married or busy with young children that I had meant. It looked as though I would continue to have strange friends.

"No, I'm alright. There's just quite a bit of tension due to the War, as you well know," I covered quickly.

"I know. It is affecting all of us," Pippin replied. He looked very downcast as well.

"Are you worried for your friends?" I asked him gently.

"I worry about them every day." He looked at his small hands. "I haven't seen Sam and Frodo in so long. And I hope Merry is doing well with the Rohirrim."

"It must be very difficult not knowing anything." I put a hand on his.

"It is, Lindy. I just hope we all made the right decision to do this." His large, brown eyes were soft and vulnerable and my heart went out to all four of the little Hobbits. How could I be so selfish worrying about my own silly problems when they were fighting for the lives of us all.

"I must go now though," Pippin said suddenly. "I'm not a Guard of the Citadel for the Steward."

I smiled. "That is quite the honor. Goodbye Pippin."

After the Hobbit left I sat and thought, not about Boromir, but about Hallas and his offer. I couldn't marry him. I knew I couldn't. It wasn't because I all of a sudden thought that I could be with Boromir, because I certainly knew I could not be the Steward-Prince's wife. It was because I felt no spark for Hallas. He was a kind and gentle man, but I did not want gentle. He would provide a stable life for me, but there would be no excitement, no thrill in that life. I wanted to break the news to him as soon as possible.

When the door opened towards the end of my shift my breath caught in my chest when I saw Boromir. All of the feelings from the night before flooded through me, making my knees weak and my insides feel like dripping honey. Nearly immediately after the door closed Hallas entered.

"Good day, Lindy," he smiled at me kindly. The same smile that I had seen time after time.

"And where is Amlaith today?" I asked.

"He felt well enough to play with some of his friends. One of the mothers is looking after him for an hour or two."

I nodded and went silent. "Might we speak outside for a moment?" I finally managed to get out.

Hallas nodded and held the door open for me. "What would you like to speak of?" He asked hopefully.

I took a deep breath. "Your proposal, Hallas."

The smile seemed to slide off of his face as his registered my tone. He didn't say anything, but let me continue.

"I cannot marry you," I said simply.

The look on the poor man's face nearly broke my heart. "Is it something that I have done?"

"Of course not," I replied quickly. "How could you think that? No, you've been wonderful to me and I will never forget that, but I feel as though we would be making a huge mistake if we were to wed. You know as well as I do that it would only be a marriage of convenience for both of us. I don't want either of us to settle with convenient. I want you to be as happy as you possibly can be."

Hallas nodded. "I think I understand."

I smiled weakly, feeling as though a very heavy weight were lifted off of my chest.

"Thank you for being honest, Lindy." Hallas bent over and kissed my cheek lightly before walking off.

I stood alone outside for a moment longer before returning to the Houses. Boromir was sitting stoically next to his brother and didn't take any notice of me as I sat down in the chair I had occupied earlier. I opened my book and tried to read which proved nearly impossible.

Eldacar arrived, after what seemed like years and took my spot in the chair. I wrapped my shawl tightly around my shoulders and set off towards the market to purchase the food. I had promised Reallan I would cook dinner that night.

"Lindy, hold on a moment!"

I turned to see Boromir hurrying after me.

"I assume you turned your Ranger down," he said once he caught up to me.

"Again, that is hardly your business." I continued walking down the street and could hear the commotion at the market. I wanted the crowd to swallow me whole.

"Did you though?" He asked earnestly.

"Yes. Yes I turned him down. It would not have been fair of me to settle and determine both of the rest of our lives to be only mediocre. He deserves someone who loves him with everything they have." I didn't know why I was being so honest with Boromir, I just thought it didn't matter anymore.

"We all deserve that." Boromir took my hand and stopped my walking. "And if we all deserve that then I deserve you and I think you deserve me," he said quietly, but fiercely.

I pulled my hand away. "Do not be ridiculous, Boromir."

"I am not being ridiculous! You're all I think about. I can't get you out of my head and I won't be able to until you give up and just be with me and even then I won't be able to stop thinking about you!" He said fervently.

The passerby were watching us and I felt extremely vulnerable to their gazes. "Boromir, be quiet. You're making a scene."

"Scenes be damned! I'll make all the scenes I have to until you're mine."

It was then that I drug him into a side alley. I had been dreading this moment since I met him. It was my moment of truth.

"There is a real reason I did not agree to marry Hallas, Boromir. One I think you should know of as well."

Boromir looked at me curiously, but I looked away and talked on.

"There was a real reason I left Bree. There was a boy there and I was mad for him. I would have done anything to get him and he knew it. He told me he would marry me and build me a lovely little house and we could make a lovely little life together if only I would give myself to him, because he just couldn't wait to be married." I paused reliving those days of wanting to be with that boy. I felt every excruciating, suspenseful pain. I felt the anxiety and the need to please again. "I hardly hesitated. However, when he was through with me he never spoke to me again, but proceeded to tell most of Bree that I had seduced him and that I was an impure woman. A fortnight later he was married to some other girl."

I fought back the tears the memories had brought on. "I had shamed my family," I said shakily. "There was nothing else to do, but leave. And so leave I did and here I am."

I finally looked up at Boromir. "And now you understand why I can be no man's wife." I hugged my shawl around and walked off. This time he did not follow.

There you have it. Like I said I am terribly sorry for the long delay. I hope it won't deter you from letting me know what you thing. Please no hate comments or flames even though I'm sure you're all furious.

Happy reading,

Avonmora