I appreciate the kind reviews, scottusa1 and tamarah122. They have kept me motivated to continue writing - and honestly, this story has shaped itself without me knowing really where it was going.
I hope you enjoy.
The next day, Shepard took Thane to the Memorial Wall on the Citadel. Every time she saw the wall, sadness encased her half-cybernetic heart. The faces of those who were lost seemed to almost stare into her; some were smiling, some had no expression, but one thing remained the same with all of them: they weren't saved. She felt overwhelmingly responsible for their untimely deaths.
Where there is life, also comes sacrifices.
There could be no truer statement. As she looked at those who were mourning their loved ones, whether it was recent or a while back, Shepard promised herself that she would not fail. She couldn't, not when she knew she could prevent more suffering.
Thane had agreed to let Dr. Michel frame a picture to put on the wall, even if it wasn't necessarily drell customs. And there, slightly in the center, hung the ordinate frame, lined with gold in the wood. It looked ancient, but somehow comforting. In the picture, Kolyat looked younger, and happier, smiling with his hand slightly raised, frozen in a forever wave. She watched him as he approached the wall to gently caress the wood of the frame. It reminded her vaguely of how he touched her. He then knelt to his knees, bowed his head, and clasped his hands together in a prayer.
Shepard always knew Thane was a religious man, yet he had always been subtle about it. Sometimes she would hear him pray to himself before a fight, and then after, to his polytheism religion. She wondered if he had become their angel, spreading hope and grace to those in need of it.
From the corner of her eye, Shepard saw a woman timidly progress toward the kneeling Thane. The black mourning dress accentuated her body, making her look beautiful in spite of the purpose. Her green eyes watched Thane with pity, sadness, and grief. "Excuse me, sir? Did you know him?"
His head lifted at her voice. "Yes, he was a. . . good friend."
"What was his name?"
"Kolyat, Kolyat Krios."
The woman looked down at the floor, her fingers twisting knots within each other. "Kolyat saved my life by rendering his own. . ." Emotion consumed her, causing her voice to lower. "I've come to pay my respects."
Thane stood and patted her shaking hands. "It wasn't in the cards for you to die that day, ma'am; you were given a second chance. Kolyat gave you that, and he knew at what price."
She nodded vivaciously, resulting in the stream of tears on her face to go askew. "I've always lived a mediocre life; not taking any chances, staying safe behind the lines. My education in engineering had been my greatest achievement, but when the war hit. . . I - I was frightened. I picked up a job at the bank because I didn't want to throw my life away." Her gaze moved toward the picture of Kolyat on the wall. "And you're right. When that robber held the gun up to me, my feeble life at the will of his finger on the trigger, I realized I'd been wasting my existence all along. Your friend was braver and more courageous than I'll ever be. He didn't even hesitate to shield me from the bullet. I'll make sure his sacrifice wasn't in vain. I'm going to go work on the Crucible, and hopefully I can help."
Shepard now approached the woman and embraced her in a hug. "You'll do more than help, you'll give inspiration and motivation. It's an honor to have met you."
The three of them communed for a while, all grievances gone for a blissful conversation. Then, Lauren had to go; she had to pack in order to catch a shuttle tomorrow, leaving Thane and Shepard to return to the Normandy in better moods. The service was very satisfying to Shepard, an almost perfect closure to something that seemed so catastrophic. She could only wish that Thane felt the same way.
He watched as Kolyat ran with his small legs up to the window of the shuttle, his hands making smudges on the glass as he pressed his whole body against it. This was his first time being off Kahje, and Thane decided since his son was old enough, he'd take him to the Citadel.
In the distance, the enormous arms of the space station emerged through the nebular clouds. Kolyat gasped in excitement, bouncing up and down while doing so.
Thane kneeled next to him so his eyes were leveled with Kolyat's. "This is where all the species of the galaxy meet, my son. But there won't be a lot of our kind there."
His eyes turned to him, both sets of lids blinking quickly. "Turians are scary looking."
He chuckled at his son. "Don't worry, they only bite if you're bad."
"You're joking," Kolyat said sternly, and then in a more gentler voice, "And those asari. . . They're beautiful, aren't they?"
"Indeed."
Kolyat was quiet for a moment, returning his gaze onto the safehaven of the endless void of space. "Thank you, father."
Thane awoke, gasping with sweat glistening against his skin. He could still hear his son's whisper, like a ghost haunting him. Gods forgive him for not being up there, with his son. He wondered what Kolyat would think, when he entered the afterlife without him.
He could only pray that Irikah would find him soon.
Silently, Thane got up from the bunk bed and dressed. The rest of the crew were fast asleep, with the occasional snore or creak of a mattress. It reassured him to know he had not woken anyone.
With, of course, the exception for the person he was about to venture to. The only person he could think of to give him comfort at a time like this.
The Normandy was eerily quiet as they drifted through space. It was an astonishing ship, the way it moved so stealthily and quietly, like the way he did right before a kill-
No, he shook his head at the thought of it. I am not that man anymore.
When he exited the elevator, Thane paused at Jane's door, straining to hear within the walls of her cabin. He knocked softly after not hearing anything.
She was in her night gown, but her fiery hair was not tussled from sleeping. It was still straight and hung just below her chin from today. Yet, he could tell she was tired. The circles beneath her eyes looked as dark as bruises. In her hand was a datapad she'd been examining.
"Can't sleep?" He said.
She shook her head, and waved him in. He followed her to the couch and saw dozens of datapads strewn on the table. No sleep at all.
"The faces of the memorial wall are there whenever I close my eyes," She said quietly, tossing her datapad on the couch and taking a seat next to it. She rubbed her eyes wearily. "It's like they're burned into my brain - I couldn't save them, Thane."
He hesitated for a moment before sitting next to her. "Would I have expected you to foresee that bank robbery and stop the man that killed my son? No. You are just one woman. One woman that is beautiful, strong, passionate, and loving, but you cannot play god. Death is a part of life; we accept this and move on. And believe me - I know, the moving on is the hardest."
Her fingers found her way to his face, tracing over every inch from his cheekbone to his lips. They lingered there, almost as if in remembrance of where they have been. "We've both died too many times for any one person," she murmured.
He gently grabbed her hand still touching his face and brought it to his chest, letting her feel the life beating inside him. "Our strength persists even beyond the grave."
And then, like magnets, they pressed against each other, kissing fiercely. She let him explore the depths of her mouth with his tongue, only breaking apart to fervently strip their clothing.
They melded in the pleasure of one another, but deep behind the thick layer of sensual touch was the hurt they both felt. She was right: they had died, re-lived, and seen things that would have broken any normal individual. But right now, it didn't matter. All he had was his siha, and he clung to her like life itself. She was now the only thing in this world that he would fight for right until the very end.
After they had made love, Thane scooped her up in his arms and placed her on the bed.
"Stay with me tonight," she whispered to him, in that soft tone he faintly remembered from that place beyond the sea. The words spoke deep within him, piercing his outer human shell to the very essence of him.
He wrapped his arms around her, their skin meeting again, but this time it was comforting instead of arousing. "This night, and every night, my siha. Until the end of time."
A Reaper. Of all the luck in the galaxy, the Reaper base was an actual Reaper. "Amonkira, Lord of Hunters," he mouthed to himself. "I pray that you grant us swiftness and cunning. Goddess Arashu of Motherhood and Protection, I pray that you keep my siha safe."
The turret on the geth speeder relentlessly poured out ammunition at the Reaper pursuing them, with Shepard quickly reloading it with skill. Although, from what Thane could tell, it hadn't really done much to it.
That was, until the Migrant fleet sent another orbital strike to pummel its hull. It collapsed upon the rock formations of Rannoch, creating plumes of dust.
"What did we hit?" Admiral Gerrel radioed in, his voice slightly choppy.
Shepard took a moment to examine it from her vantage point. "The firing chamber. Looks like a weak point when it's priming."
Gerrel's voice was irritated and afraid. "Jamming towers are having us targeting manually, we can't make a precision shot!"
"We may escape before it recovers," Legion suggested.
"No. Pull over." She said fiercely.
Thane forcefully shot up from his seat in the speeder and grabbed her arm tightly before she jumped off. "What are you doing?" He demanded. "Don't try and be a hero, Jane. We have to leave."
Her head snapped back at him, her fiery hair whipping around her face. Her eyes were as bright and piercing as Rannoch's sun. "If we run away, the geth stay under Reaper control and the quarians are dead," she retorted, almost coldly. "This ends now."
"I-I understand," he said, loosening his grip on her arm, and as he did so, a part of him wilted away. "I love you."
Yet she was already too far away to hear him, with targeting laser held in her hands - almost like an extension of her arm. Goddess Arashu, guide this one. Shield her from the evils that wish her undoing. I cannot bear to lose her. My siha, my salvation.
He closed his eyes and let himself dive into the pool of his memories.
Thane had never seen her in such nice apparel. It was the first time he'd seen her in a dress, for that matter. Such pity she always wore military uniforms; her body filled the little black dress in such a way it made his skin hot with desire.
"I'm glad we're finally able to do this, Lieutenant Johnson," she teased, taking a seat beside him at Apollo's Cafe.
Even in the Presidium's artificial sunlight, her hair shone glossily, fiery and mesmerizing. For once, her eyes were not burdened with her responsibilities. They were full of happiness, amusement, and green as the tropical plants of a desert oasis.
"I believe on our shore leave we're allowed to skip the formalities, Jane," he shot back at her with a grin.
Her eyebrows raised in amusement as she examined the menu. "So, is this like a date, then? If so, you're buying - they've jacked up the prices since the last time I've been here."
"A 'date'?"
"Yeah, you know-" she started, but stopped when she realized he really didn't know. "Oh, I guess drell had different ways of . . . bonding with women."
He tucked away a stray hair behind her ear, then sweeping a caress across her cheek. "Marriages are mostly arranged since we created the Compact with hanar society. Whichever matched suited and profited the hanar most was an honor to the drell." She watched him with curiosity, yet the subject was not one he wished to speak of. "But that is rather dull in comparison to human customs. So much freedom and decisions to make with choosing a partner. How is it that I am so lucky to be matched with you?"
"Call it what you will," she said in a whimsical, joking matter. "Fate, destiny."
"How about: 'it was just meant to be'?"
"Hm," she gazed upon him with such an intense stare, it felt as if she could see right through him. "I like that."
The menus and were a last thought as they kissed slowly, passionately, until they were the last ones at the small cafe