I would like to thank all my avid readers for their patience with this chapter. I've been very busy, but I hope to get this story wrapped up soon!
P.S. I know there's been some interest of how Thane feels about Irikah, so hopefully this clears some of it up.
"Lieutenant?" Someone said through the void after the memory had faded. No, please, he thought, trying to grasp back the sweet reminiscence. It felt so real. . . he could taste his lips on hers. Thane tried to plunge back into the memory, but reality was finally sinking in. He wearily opened his eyes to see Tali exiting the speeder.
"Shepard's done it!" She shouted, leaping out with finesse.
What? Had he heard correctly? His vision was still blurry as he peered out of the craft, seeing Legion ahead of Tali, both walking toward Shepard. The Reaper had fallen, but from where he could see, she looked angry with it. Her mouth moved but he could not distinguish the words.
He breathed out heavily. Thank you Goddess Arashu, for keeping her safe.
Shepard felt the stinging in her eyes as she had watched Legion fall; the ultimate sacrifice to give the geth independence. Even synthetic life knows the meaning to give up something so important. It gave her a new perspective, and an open mind toward the geth. Maybe they weren't at all what they seemed; they needed to be given a chance.
Another crew member, gone. How many more will there be until this war is over? She didn't want to know. It gave her too much grief. On the other hand, she was relieved to have both the geth and Quarian fleets for the effort.
Emotions swirled her head like a multi-colored fog. Suddenly, she felt weak and fragile. The red, blazing light of the Reaper's beam, threatening to take her life, seared her mind. She decided she'd take a nap; she couldn't remember the last time she'd slept soundly.
Shepard slowly made her way up to her cabin, not even bothering to take off her clothes. As soon as her head hit the softness of her pillow, her world fell into blissful unconsciousness.
"Had to be me," The whispers rang through the eerie trees. "Someone might have gotten it wrong."
A child, fumbling with something on the ground, turned to look at her before he ran off into the forest. She chased after him, the voices following and scaring her.
"It's alright, Commander. I understand. Go save Ashley."
Her breath had gotten on the verge of hyperventilation. She watched as her hand reached out for the child.
"The prayer wasn't for my father. It was for you."
She couldn't run fast enough. The child stood before her, looking calmly into her own frightened eyes. He caught on fire, but he did not scream, did not move. He was bright like a sun in the void of space within the dark forest. Shepard stood there, frozen in horror long after the child was consumed by the flames. Then, the darkness pressed against her as they burnt out completely. And she was utterly alone in the forest of the fallen soldiers, friends, and crew.
Gasping, Shepard woke up to groggily find Thane wiping her forehead with a damp wash cloth. "Shhh," he urged her. "You were having a nightmare."
It took her a moment to absorb her surroundings, yet the whispers were still there, at the nape of her neck. They crawled up and down her spine, making her shiver and blink away the tears threatening to overflow.
"Why are you here?" She asked him simply, waving his damp towel away, and sat up so her back faced him. Shepard did not want him to see her this way, frightened so like a child. The child. Would she ever stop dreaming of him?
"I'm here because I care," he replied, just as simply. She guessed she asked for it.
"You don't have to babysit me," she said, a little too seethingly than she'd expected.
Thane was silent for a moment, the air between them was heavy. "Was there something I did, siha? What did I do to anger you so?" His voice was genuinely hurt, and now Shepard felt even worse than before knowing she was hateful to the person she'd become to love so much. He was only trying to lend a hand and guide her through this black hole.
She turned toward him, letting her head fall in shame. "No, Thane. You've done nothing wrong; you have been so amazing. It's me that's completely wrong."
"Wrong?" He echoed. "Shepard, the Spectre, Savior of the Citadel, the hero of the galaxy, says she's wrong?" His head shook, almost too comically fast. "What is happening to the universe?"
Shepard couldn't help but quietly laugh at him, and his face relaxed into a smile so beautiful, it melted her insides. And to think: how would she have survived without him if he hadn't come back? It was too painful of a thought.
"You are absolutely radiant when you are happy, siha." He said, the smile fading. "It's such a shame we are in a time where there is so little happiness."
"Someday, there will be again." She said without a doubt. "When we win this war."
His eyebrow raised in speculation. "You're so sure?"
"I have to be."
Had to be me, Mordin's voice returned. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.
Thane did not necessarily want to go into the bar; he was not fond of blaring music and asari strippers. But Shepard had insisted he needed to unwind and have a drink. He shrugged and joined her, it would beat having Garrus win all his money at cards.
When they entered, it was dark, with fluorescent lights pulsating to the rhythm of the songs. Turians, humans, and asari all in one place - "partying" is what James described it as. Thane guessed it was a way to forget the undesirable things occurring within the galactic community. And of late, Thane grew accustomed to these distractions instead of meditating to himself. He blamed his new human body.
Shepard lead him to the bar, holding his hand. He assumed their private relationship had become more public. He could hear James' whistle over the music; he was leaning against the bar, watching them approach.
"Look at this! The Commander and the new Lieutenant. Ah, el amor." He sighed, placing his hand dramatically on his forehead. "I'll buy you guys a round of drinks, on me."
"Oh thanks, Vega," Shepard said in a joking manner. "But we don't want your charity."
James moved his hand to his heart. "Commander, you hurt me. Fine, be all stuffy and buy your own damn drinks."
"Will do," she said, already knocking back a shot.
Shepard handed him a small glass, but Thane didn't want to be impaired by alcohol. It made him nervous. "No, I don't sit well with. . . well, whatever's in there."
"Oh come on, Brandon," she said with a wink. "One won't kill you."
"I suppose," he said, taking the dainty little glass and swallowed the spicy liquid down in one gulp. It took everything he had not to bring it back up. He guessed it was apparent on his face, because she didn't offer any more to him.
His head was already fogged, everything seemed to look like some haze. Eventually Thane, Shepard and Vega moved to the lower bar, talking of the places they'd go when Earth was taken back.
They ordered more drinks, and he had surprised Shepard by drinking a few more. Drell never drank alcohol, it was believed that it tainted the body and the spirit, rendering it incapable of performing their duties. Which, he supposed was right. Maybe it was his human ambitions, but Thane wanted to try everything.
He stood, wobbling slightly as he did so. "Shepard, I think we're due for a dance."
She shook her head. "I don't think I've told you, but I can't dance."
"Oh come on," he hiccuped. "I don't even know how to, but we're going."
This time, it was him that lead her to the dance floor. She looked around nervously at those who surrounded them. They were all moving in-step to the beat of the music.
"You can shoot a target from a mile away, dodge an incoming missile, and take down a Reaper, but you can't dance?" He asked her.
She shrugged. "It just doesn't come to me."
"Just, follow what these people are doing," he encouraged, already mimicking a Turian who was flailing his arms about.
And she was right, her dancing was terrible. But as he watched her, Thane couldn't see any other being in this entire universe as beautiful as his siha was.
Thane opened his eyes to the present reality, only to see his Irikah sitting across the table in the Life Support room.
"Reminiscing, I see," she said coldly, her eyes cunning and calculating.
"Irikah?" He reached across the table to touch her, but his hand went right through her face as if she were an apparition.
She stood, her slender figure swaying lightly as she walked to the showcase on the wall. "You left us, Thane. I waited for you."
He was frozen, all he could do was watch her. Her blue skin that he'd loved so much, or the curve in her lips he'd kissed over and over no longer held the magic that they used to. "It wasn't my fate to join you, Irikah. I wish you would see that."
She scoffed resentfully. "But I see you have already taken your place. Your heart no longer belongs to me."
His fists clenched together. "I would have understood if it were you instead of me. It was my fault your soul was taken into the afterlife. Before, my life was so full of hate and sorrow, I had no purpose other than to sulk and wait for my soul to leave my body.
"But then I met her, my siha, and she revived me. Gave me a mission, a goal, but I had died before it was sought through." He lowered his tone, almost to a whisper. "The gods knew this, Irikah. They gave me a second life."
"And what of your old life?" she demanded. "What of me and your son? Or do we no longer hold the importance we once had to you?"
He closed his eyes. "I will never forget you. But I must move on, and look to my future that I was given. Forgive me, Irikah."
His eyes re-opened to look upon her again, but she was gone.