Rachel is a beautiful angel. She doesn't have the most imaginative name however she can be credited for her amazing strategic skills. She's powerful and graceful and so fierce in battle it's a truly amazing thing to behold. Herself and Castiel share many similarities. They're both strong, loyal and committed to the cause.
One thing that is different about them Rachel notices is Castiel's approach to murdering his own brothers and sisters. When he kills there's nothing there, no hint of emotion whereas before she could see the guilt eating away at him, hiding beneath his vessels rotund eyes.
At first she thought nothing of it but as time passes it worries her and a more troublesome factor- it scares her. Castiel is her one salvation. She has faith in him and to question that faith is the most terrifying thing she's experienced. More terrifying than god's disappearance. She never met God so nothing beyond devotion had ever grown between them. But her and Castiel. That's different. Their friends. Not allies. She's learnt the difference between the two and in all honesty she likes having friends. She's not completely certain of the semantics but she knows that if your friend is distressed it is your job to help them. So she tries to talk to Castiel, to be there for him but luck is not on her side.
She's heard rumours that there's a traitor in their midst. She warns Castiel as soon as possible but he doesn't stop to speak to her. Instead his eyes alight with a rage unlike anything she's ever seen before he flies away so quickly she barely has time to follow, however she does manage to.
When she stops flight they're in an overgrown forest the trees leaves are so alive and brilliant and green. Her eyes catch every single rain drop that slides from the veiny leaves before dripping onto the ground. Castiel's army is before her, their numbers are small, barely thirty of them gathered together. Her brother addresses them monotonously as she moves to stand beside him her stance authoritative.
Like she expected they all deny treason, all except one.
Their sister steps forward, she recognises her instantly – Ridya, she is in the same Garrison as Rachel.
"Ridya. Is this true?" Castiel asks. "Are you the one who has betrayed us?"
Ridya doesn't even have the good grace to look guilty; her vessel is a petite thing, sleek blonde hair pulled neatly into a low ponytail, hair that frames small shoulders encased in a long sleeved grey t-shirt. Her blue eyes are hard as she scrutinizes those around her.
"This nonsense has gone on for far too long." The blonde addresses as she turns her back to Castiel and faces his army. "We all claim we want free will, but do we even truly know what this entails. We are made to follow, we are made to obey and in the absence of our father and Michael Raphael is the highest ranking angel. We must have order and Raphael is willing to grant us that."
Some angels are so easily swayed Rachel thinks as she watches her brothers and sisters faces. Not only are they listening to Ridya their contemplating her words. She feels the hurt and confusion and anger emanating from Castiel and her grace burns with it. Seeing her friend so distraught is not an easy task especially when she herself cannot do anything to change it.
"Enough!" Castiel snaps as he steps forward his trench coat swaying behind him.
"There will be no apocalypse. I expected more from you Ridya, Raphael has clearly brainwashed you into thinking this way. You can be more." Castiel states his eyes boring into Ridya's before he focuses them on the other angels.
"You can all be more. Follow me and together we can find peace." Castiel finishes, a resigned and slightly nervous look on his face as he steps back and waits for his brothers and sisters to choose a side.
Rachel moves to Castiel's side as quickly as possible and looks on gratefully as all of the angels walk the small expanse of ground it takes to reach herself and Castiel.
Ridya and Castiel glare at each other, icy blue irises portraying everything their words haven't. The tension is clear and with an inclination of her head Rachel gently orders the other angels to leave them alone.
Twenty nine pairs of wings flutter in unison the sound echoing rapidly.
Rachel places a hand on Castiel's forearm, the small inside of her palm fitting smoothly into Cas's inner elbow. He gives her a curt nod allowing her to speak whatever words she needs to.
"Ridya why have you chosen this path, you seemed adamant about following Castiel before what has changed?" Rachel tentatively asks her voice gentle and curious.
For a moment Ridya's mask of indifference breaks and she turns watery eyes to Rachel.
"Sister can't you see what free will has given you. Before it was introduced into our lives we were all so happy we were a family. How sure are you that Raphael's intentions are wrong and Castiel's are right?"
"Raphael intends to destroy the world. Something our father created. Raphael has no sense for the natural order. He's power hungry and intolerant to those who have their own opinions - this I know. Castiel is fighting for us, not for himself, his intentions are right. " Rachel's words are clear and truthful but Castiel can see the bewilderment in her eyes, like she can't quite understand the betrayal she's feeling. It's not easy to cope with; Castiel's knows how it feels when your family turn their backs on you.
"Sister join me or the next time we meet I cannot promise we will be on such friendly terms."
Rachel shakes her head as she turns her eyes to Castiel.
"I've made my decision. My loyalties lie with Castiel." Rachel clarifies; Ridya glares her vessels sharp upturned nose scrunching angrily.
It's frustrating to see someone who shows such intellect in battle show such disregard for the situations going on around her. Rachel is blind to it. Everyone can clearly see Castiel is losing the war. He has fewer men as well as tact compared to Raphael and as much as Ridya loves her sister she loves her father more and she will help to restart the apocalypse because it is written.
Ridya turns to leave but as she does Castiel appears before her. Ridya hears Rachel's sharp shocked gasp and the slide of metal against clothing as Castiel unsheathes his blade and forces it through her chest. Ridya's eyes widen as they slowly travel from Castiel's eyes to the sword that's ripped through her vessel's internal organs. She feels her flesh attempting to pull itself back together except all it does is stretch around the blade. With a scream her eyes alight and her wings uncurl from her back.
Ridya's corpse collapses to the floor in a meaty heap, the trees surrounding her body laying broken across the ground from the explosion of her grace.
Rachel is speechless for a long time because her sister is dead and Castiel didn't even flinch. He puts away his sword, as tainted in blood as it still is and turns to watch as Rachel kneels beside Ridya's body.
"Castiel what have you done?" Rachel quietly asks, her throat filled with a thickness she cannot identify.
"She was working against us. I had no other choice."
"She was our sister."
Castiel has turned and began to walk away so Rachel follows determined to find an answer to her queries. Castiel has killed angels before, Rachel has as well but this time was different. When they had killed other angels it was merely for self defence. Castiel killing Ridya had been cruel and unnecessary things Rachel didn't think she'd associate with Castiel.
"Brother please...this isn't like you."
Castiel turns around so quickly Rachel has to force herself to stop or she would have collided into him.
"We are fighting a war Rachel! I have to do certain regrettable things – they are needed in order for us to win. You are my lieu-tenant, so you must chose now. Are you to stand beside me..."
Castiel's eyes flicker over to Ridya's body, Rachel's follow.
"Or not?" Castiel finishes raising a brow in question.
They stare at each other for an incomprehensible amount of time. Castiel has shown Rachel a new way of life, has protected her during battle and put his trust in her. He is bound to change, she cannot be angry at him for that because she too has changed. If you had told her a year ago that she would be capable of making her own decisions she would have claimed blasphemy but now she sees the positivity that comes with such freedom and if they have to fight for it then so be it.
Castiel's eyes flicker for a moment, his brow furrowing and Rachel instantly realises what is happening. Someone is praying for him. Rachel listens in on the prayer and grimaces at Dean's choice of words. He's a vile human being in her opinion – rude, obnoxious, ungrateful and a thousand other things she doesn't care to mention. But he is Castiel's friend therefore an ally of hers.
"I must go." Castiel informs his voice gravely and tired.
"Let me." Rachel offers.
"As your lieu-tenant I see it's fit for me to complete tasks which will aid you during the war."
Castiel smiles warmly at her, Rachel reciprocates.
"Thank you." Castiel genuinely says before his sister flies away to attend to Dean.
Her conversation with the Winchesters and Bobby Singer is barely civil and she begins to wonder how Castiel can stand to be around them. They clearly use him and it's painful to see the vast amount of admiration Castiel holds for them. They seem to completely dismiss the fact that he is currently fighting a war. But she does as Castiel asked and returns to Heaven not because she's one of Castiel's soldiers but because she's his friend.
When Castiel returns he looks withdrawn but his body is relaxed and he smells of Sam Winchester.
When she asks Castiel what their next plan of action is regarding the war he informs her he will be otherwise preoccupied for several days as he needs to aid the Winchesters in retrieving a weapon they believe they can use against the mother of all. The war is the last thing on Castiel's mind.
It's at this point that Rachel decides she doesn't trust the Winchesters or the effect they have on Castiel.
/
Rachel's boots scuff over the grey pebbles of the beach she's flown to. The ocean is violent today the waves crashing and the winds roaring. The salty aroma in the air clears her head slightly but still she finds she cannot ignore the negative thoughts that have been conjured there.
For over a year she has spent her time running and hiding and killing and she's tired of being lied to. It doesn't take a genius to know Castiel is hiding something but she doesn't know what.
There's times when he'll disappear for hours but he's not with the Winchesters and when he does return to Heaven he's always extremely agitated and has the lingering scent of sulphur on him. And it means something Rachel knows it does but she's incredibly reluctant to find out what because if her suspicions are right she will have to kill her friend. But then she has to question what matters more - how she feels or the lives of over seven billion innocent people.
The angel feels an invisible tether pull at her grace – someone is summoning her – an angel she realises once she hears their voice ringing through her head. Tabbris she recognises is the one who is calling her. He too is in Castiel's army. Rachel closes her eyes and surrenders her wings to the wind she flies through time and space at the speed of light until she is stood in a dilapidated warehouse, various boxes and glass strewn across the floor.
"Tabbris." Rachel greets the other angel with a warm smile.
Tabbrisi's acknowledgement is grave. "Rachel."
"What the matter?" Rachel asks.
Tabbrisi's vessel is male, an olive coloured man in his late thirties. He's a recovering alcoholic in real life, a divorced lonely man who was about to be kicked out of his council flat before Tabbris took him as a vessel.
Tabbris looks apprehensive for a moment his fingers flexing slightly.
"I returned to the forest once you and Castiel had left."
Rachel's heart sinks; if Tabbris did indeed return to the forest then he must have seen Ridya's body.
"I took the liberty of burying Ridya's vessel." Tabbris informs his voice holding hints of accusation as if Rachel should have done that herself. Rachel says nothing and as a result Tabbris continues.
"I've come to let you know I'll be leaving Heaven."
"What do you mean leaving?" Rachel asks clearly alarmed.
"Myself and several of the angels are taking salvation on Earth we no longer wish to be a part of this war."
"You're abandoning us!" Rachel shouts, the ground quaking with her words.
Tabbris lifts his shoulders slowly, the beginnings of a shrug he doesn't quite finish.
"I cannot follow someone I don't trust." The angel explains.
"Castiel?" The blonde asks to which Tabbris confirms with a nod of his head.
"What makes you believe he is so untrustworthy?"
"His alliance with demons."
Rachel scoffs a fairly disgusting sound she notes before she shakes her head disapprovingly at her brother.
"That's the most absurd statement I've ever heard." Rachel says in anger.
Even as she says the words she feels a burning heat of uncertainty flare up through her chest. She's seen the signs herself, Castiel's suspicious behaviour, the smell of sulphur. But it isn't true. It can't be. What could he possibly gain by working with demons? Their lower beings, their flawed calamitous creatures that'll turn their backs on you the moment it's convenient for them. Castiel of all angels knows this; no matter how much Raphael threatens them Castiel wouldn't resort to working with demons.
Tabbris holds up his hands almost in a surrendering position.
"I'm not here to argue with you. Just look at the facts Rachel. Castiel has aided the Winchester's in eradicating some of Heavens most powerful angels. He helped them avert the apocalypse. He fell for humans, he broke all the rules. He is not above working with demons."
Rachel looks down and as her eyes flutter closed she feels her heart sinking with it. This is the worst pain she's ever experienced. Even before she has confirmation, her suspicions are high and the fact that she has reason to question at all is painful.
When she opens her eyes Tabbris is gone.
Noticing the summoning herbs on a table to her left Rachel slowly walks towards it, after all she has her own ritual to perform.
/
The first thing Castiel realises once he answers his summoning is that he is alone. The herbs for the ritual are still burning slightly, the aroma of lavender and ash wafting through the air. The telltale sign of wings sound and with a frown Castiel turns around.
"We need to talk."
"You summoned me here?" Cas asks with disbelief. Why Rachel chose to contact him via a summoning ritual and not their telepathic connection he does not know but already he can sense something is wrong.
"Castiel, I've been hearing things. Things I don't want to believe." But she does believe them, she wishes she didn't but Cas can tell by the look in her eyes that she does.
"Just tell me if it's true." His companion begs.
"If what's true?" Castiel frowns lightly hoping that Rachel will buy into his facade but unlike the Winchesters she is harder to fool.
Rachel's voice quivers along with her next words and for once Castiel doesn't want to lie. He's not sure if he can anymore, the secrecy and deception is exhausting. He tries to reason with her, to make her see it from his point of view because once she does she'll realise that working with Crowley may not necessarily be the right thing to do but it's the only option they have if they want to defeat Raphael. Castiel doesn't entirely believe his own words and it would seem neither does Rachel because she lunges at him with a sword in hand.
As ever Rachel is beautiful, fast and graceful during battle. She manipulates her vessel's body as if it is her own but she fights with indecision. She still cares for her brother and that is what causes her downfall. She fights but subconsciously she doesn't give her all because deep down she wishes she didn't have to fight. Rachel's hand is locked in Cas's hair the other gripping her sword and for a few seconds she has a clear shot of Castiel but she falters and that's all the opportunity Castiel needs. With a guttural pained yell he leans forward and grabs her arm, pulling her body towards his, Castiel spins Rachel around and watches as he kills his sister with her own blade.
Rachel feared her brother was working with demons what she feared more however was that he was losing his morals. It became easier and easier for him to kill his brothers and sisters without regret in his eyes. For the first time in a long time there's regret in Castiel's eyes except Rachel isn't there to see it.
Castiel's been stabbed before. He's been shot before. He's been beaten until his vessel is black and blue, bones cracked, muscles torn and skin exuding thick amounts of blood. The hits, stabs and shootings caused pain but it was miniscule, a nuisance at the most but now... well now Castiel cannot even begin to describe the pain coursing through his body.
A flush breaks out over his skin as his hand hovers over his stab wound. The brief struggle he had with Rachel had shimmied the angel blade upwards until the steel finish had grazed against the curve of his lungs, the knife slicing through his skin quickly and precisely.
Castiel's grace shines out of him as a beam of pure energy. His thoughts are a muddle but he has enough sense to realise he has to leave the warehouse as soon as possible. He stretches his senses as far as he can considering he's weakened except he cannot hear any of his brothers and sisters, his army is silent to him, with a grimace he realises that no their not silent to him their cut off from him. He has no angelic allies; he just killed the last one willing to fight for him. But sooner or later his fellow comrades will come searching for Rachel he knows that for a fact and once they find her rotting vessel they'll want revenge for her death. Castiel needs to hide expect he cannot think of anyone he trusts enough to harbour him until he's up to full strength.
It's so easy to want to give up when Castiel looks down at Rachel's body but as his heavy set eyes run over the wings encrusted onto the floor he realises how many more bodies would join hers if Raphael were to win. Angel and humans alike. Innocent humans, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunties - the list is endless. Humans like Sam, Dean and Bobby. Bobby. Castiel's thought process is slow but it's still working well enough. He realises he can go to Bobby's, the older hunter trusts him and will have no qualms about Castiel remaining at his house until he recovers.
With a hazy self confirmative nod Castiel allows his wings to uncurl from his back before he drops into space. His wings are uncoordinated, the marginal coverts twitching in pain. His vessel begins to shake half way through the flight but Castiel pushes himself through it forcing himself to fly faster until he's hovering over Bobby's kitchen. The relief it brings is vast and not concentrating fully on keeping himself afloat Castiel allows himself to crash land to the floor, the collision jostling his wound.
He hears Bobby's startled shout but the only thing Castiel can concentrate on is hiding his location. He blindingly stabs his fingers into his knife wound collecting blood so he can smear it across the refrigerator. He struggles to draw the symbol but the moment it's done he ambles to his feet.
"Cas? Are we running or fighting?"
Castiel fully intends to answer Bobby but he finds that he can't. His words fail him and his limbs follow. As he falls forward his eyes shut and Castiel succumbs to sleep.
/
Castiel is old. He's not the oldest of his siblings in fact he's one of the youngest but in comparison to other creatures he's ancient. He's seen almost everything the world can offer from the golden sand granules of Egypt to the squalid waters of Venice. He's seen evolution, witnessed the first sin of man, was present for one apocalypse and the aversion of another. Castiel is old but more often than not he sees things from a child's perspective. Some would say he's close minded, he would tell you he's being practical.
Castiel finds himself in one of his most vivid memories. It's a snow day on the Seventh of July, 1926. He remembers this well himself and Anna watched over a small family situated in the heart of London. The Thorpe family, if he recalls correctly, their mother Rebecca had just given birth to their first child though the child birth had left Rebecca weakened and bleeding. The angels had watched on as Rebecca lay on her bed, watched as her skin turned clammy with sweat and the blood caking the bed covers coagulated.
Humans experienced many emotions before they died – denial, anger, anguish. The angels didn't see any of these things in Rebecca's face. She looked content even as she held her little girl in her arms; the little flailing pink blood covered human being that it was. Castiel didn't understand it until he did. The amount of devotion and love Rebecca expressed was boundless, she was about to die but she didn't fear it. She had come to peace with the fact that the ending of her life meant the beginning of her daughters. Rebecca's husband had settled onto the bed beside his wife and daughter and held them close. With Rebecca's last breath came the first snowflake. Her husband had detested snow ever since.
"I remember this." The voice startles Castiel, his body jolts slightly before he turns to the side. The first thing he sees is fiery red hair that's slightly curled at the bottom. But it isn't the hair that alerts him as to who this person is it's their aura. The figure reverberates sparks of power but beneath it there's sincerity and hope.
"Anna." Castiel says but even as he does he knows this must be some sort of dream because Anna's dead. "How are you-"Castiel begins.
"It doesn't matter." Anna interrupts.
"Am I dead?" Castiel asks.
Anna exhales softly through her nose as a smile curves over her lips, almost as if she's amused by Castiel's words.
"No." She simply replies.
"Then what is this place?" Castiel asks, Anna does nothing more than angle her body towards the trees to the side of Rebecca's house. The snows falling heavier now, the flakes slowly drifting through the air to blanket the ground.
"Walk with me."
Castiel can do nothing but walk with her. He has no idea where he is. For a moment he was sure he was just replaying the memory of Rebecca in his head but this isn't how the entire memory happened.
"Do you remember the first order you were issued?" Anna questions, her boots crunching into the ground.
"Of course. I was ordered to watch over the evolution of certain creatures, I had to ensure nothing affected their development."
Anna nods seemingly satisfied by what she hears.
"You were so different then." She states.
Castiel's face looks guarded for a moment.
"We all were." The angel replies, his eyes on the snowflakes that fall into Anna's hair only to dissolve moments later.
"Do you prefer the person you are now?" Anna asks as she turns and looks Castiel in the eye.
Castiel quirks a brow. "Is this an interrogation?"
The redhead blinks. "You never used to be this suspicious of everything. It's just a conversation Castiel." Anna assures though Cas isn't even sure if this is his sister. She died a long time ago he knows this for a fact Michael had burned her up, body and grace. But he cannot remember how he got here, his only lead is Anna so whatever this is he has to go along with it.
"Fine." Castiel concludes. "If I answer your questions, you answer mine."
"Seems fair to me." Anna replies that same easiness on her face that she's always had.
"I have changed yes, though I believe it is for the better."
Anna gives Castiel a disbelieving look but before she can ask another question he asks one of his own.
"Where am I?"
"This is your memory Castiel, as for me I'm simply a figment of your imagination."
"How am I here?"
"So impatient Castiel. The answers there you just need to see it."
Castiel's confused but he tries to think back. What was he doing before he appeared in this memory? Flashes of swords and wings enter his mind, then his voice his true voice keening in pain, his grace bleeding from his chest, that moment of panic when he thought he wasn't going to make it then the crash landing he had in Bobby's house.
Castiel brings a hand up to his chest.
"I was injured...Rachel...Bobby...I must have passed out."
Anna confirms her brother's words with a nod of her head before she stares at him, her eyes analyzing.
"You killed your friend."
"It was unavoidable."
The answer is so abrupt it seems as if Castiel's thought about it, has trained himself to fire these replies out even if they are lies.
"Your ability to lie so easily is disturbing Castiel." Castiel frowns; he doesn't have the time nor the patience for this. Anna cannot even begin to comprehend the amount of stress Castiel is under. She has no idea how many people he has to save. The weight of his responsibilities is unbearable yet Castiel has never stopped in his mission to save the world and his friends. She has no right to judge him. It's infuriating the way she's indirectly insulting him and the choices he's made. It seems her purpose in being here is to make Cas revaluate his decisions but her presence has done the exact opposite.
"You're opinion is irrelevant, you know nothing of the situation I'm in."
"What about the Winchesters?"
"This has nothing to do with them." Castiel denies.
"Doesn't it? Dean and Sam were the ones who showed you freedom and freewill. I don't think they'd agree with the way you've chosen to use it."
Castiel finds he cannot reply.
"If you think Raphael intends to damn the world, the destruction you will cause to it will be far superior if you open Purgatory. You're vessel wasn't designed to hold extra souls. Think about all the lives your endangering."
"They will find salvation in heaven."
"Since when is that relevant Castiel, once upon a time the loss of human lives would have affected you."
"I'm not weak anymore."
Anna shakes her head.
"Oh brother you have no idea how weak you have become. You're hiding behind promises of saving the world and speeches of free will. You're deluding yourself and betraying those who are closest to you. This will not end well Castiel."
"Maybe...maybe not. Either way there's nothing you can do to stop me." Castiel coldly tells this imitation of his sister.
Anna's arm flexes slightly as an angel blade slides down the inside of her coat sleeve until she's holding it in her hand. Cas's body freezes his fingers immediately going to grasp his own except it isn't there. Something akin to fear shoots through Castiel but that fear makes way to confusion when Anna holds out the blade for him to take.
"What are you doing?" Castiel suspiciously asks.
"If you want to wake up from this place you have to kill me."
"What?"
"Come now, what's the life of one unimportant angel." Anna's voice is calm mundane, giving away nothing.
She isn't real, Castiel reminds himself before he speaks. "I have to wake up. If I do not Raphael will restart the Apocalypse."
Anna nods though it doesn't seem like she agrees. Her eyes water with disappointment, a sad but accepting smile on her face.
"It's the life of one person against the lives of billions." Anna comments and Castiel belatedly realises it's a thought he's had many times.
He takes the blade and kills his sister but somehow when he opens his eyes and sees Bobby's face he can't help but to think he did the wrong thing.
/
Sam's taking the bed in Bobby's spare room today. He usually takes the sofa but they've decided to rest up in preparation of taking the fight to Eve. She's by far the most troublesome enemy they've had the dissatisfaction of facing.
Bobby gave Sam the low down on what happened whiles they were in Wyoming and it worries him to think Castiel came so close to dying. Worries him that Castiel had grace pouring out of him, the angel's essence a bright blinding light of brilliance.
Castiel appears beside Sam on the bed. He doesn't say anything whiles Sam removes his shirt or even when Sam's fingers brush over the place where hours ago Rachel had stabbed him. The wound is healed now, stitched back together in a sequence of blood, muscle and flesh.
"Here?" The hunter gently whispers, his lips resting beneath Castiel's pectoral.
The angels hand runs through Sam's hair as he nods faintly.
Sam grimaces slightly as he caresses the place that could have caused Castiel's debacle. He leans back as he moves up, laying his body over Castiel's.
"Did it hurt?" Sam cautiously asks.
"Like salt to an open wound." Cas compares and Sam winces in sympathy.
"Can I ask you something?" Castiel asks after a moment.
"Sure."
"When you dream, how much of it do you take into consideration regarding your everyday life?"
Sam frowns in thought. "How do you mean?"
Castiel shakes his head before starting again.
"Do you think dreams are a reliable source of information?" The angel questions his tone fluctuating between curiosity and impatience.
Sam shakes his head. "I think most dreams are created by random parts of our subconscious being strung together. I don't necessarily think they mean anything. Why'd you ask?"
Flashes of Anna's resigned disappointed face and an angel blade cross Cas's mind. He shakes his head. "No reason."
/
When Sam falls asleep Castiel silently teleports to the kitchen in Bobby's house to see Dean is there alone.
"Hello Dean." Castiel greets and smiles despite himself when Dean jumps.
"I'm never gonna get used to that." Dean mumbles as he gets up from the dining table chair and at the same time swallows the remainder of the whiskey he'd earlier poured into a glass. He picks up the bottle from the counter before waving it at Castiel.
"Want some?" The hunter offers to which Castiel declines with a shake of his head.
"You know I remember a time when you were downing pints and out drinking Ellen." Dean reminisces as he turns to Cas with a small smile.
"Things have changed." Castiel simply states to which Dean's smile drops.
"Yeah... I suppose they have." Dean quietly replies.
"Why are you here?" Dean asks as he takes a seat, crosses his legs at the ankles and takes a sip from his drink. The hunter's eyes flicker over to the laptop which Castiel only realises now that Dean was looking at before he appeared. Castiel's eyes follow Dean's vision until they rest on the picture on the laptop screen. Cas finds himself looking at a picture of Ben, Lisa and Dean. For as long as Cas has known Dean he's never seen him smile as he is in the photo. Dean's arm is wound around Lisa's waist, her hand bent backwards slightly enabling her to link her fingers through Dean's. Ben is sitting between them; his smile all large teeth and stretched cheekbones. They look perfect.
"You miss them." Castiel quietly affirms.
Dean shuts the laptop with a large snap.
"Cas..." Dean begins his voice exasperated.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of Dean."
Dean snorts before he looks to Cas and the look in his eyes can only be described as melancholy.
"There's no point in missing them. They want nothing to do with me – Lisa told me as such."
"Fear can make people say things –things they don't mean. You shouldn't give up on hem so easily Dean."
"They gave up on me." Dean snaps before he takes a deep breath.
"Even if... even if Lisa wanted me back in her life I couldn't do it. I bring nothing but pain. I thought I had gotten out of this life but the whole mess with this Eve bitch happened and as long as there's threats to me I can't go back to them."
Castiel looks contemplative. "If Eve was no longer a problem." He starts only to be interrupted by Dean.
"Then we got Raphael on our ass."
"If Eve and Raphael were to both be neutralised would you go back to Lisa and Ben? Would you be happy?"
The very idea of being able to be happy with them relaxes Dean's form; his eyes take on a distant look as his hand loosens around his glass. The amount of longing emanating from Dean is painful to witness. Dean doesn't need to speak, Castiel already knows his answer and already Cas knows his next move. He has to destroy Raphael and in order to do that he needs Eve so that they can open Purgatory. He will do whatever it takes. Not just for Heaven and earth's sake but for Dean's.
Dean looks down and when he looks up again Castiel is gone.
The hunter sighs before pouring himself another drink.
/
Castiel has never been more sure of his task as he is now. Witnessing the sacrifices Dean's continued to make had been the last straw. The hunter is exhausted in every sense of the word yet he hasn't stopped – won't stop and Castiel can't help but to admire him but the angel also can't help but to pity him – anyone with a conscience would.
Castiel teleports to the warehouse Crowley has been using to torture the creatures that came from Purgatory. The agonised yells coming from the monsters remind him of the rack down in hell – the torture being inflicted upon the creatures of purgatory is unforgiving and brutal traits that match the torturer perfectly.
The angel steps over blood, organs and bodily fluids each carrying a stench worse than the other before he walks through a set of double doors. He enters in time to see Crowley slice a machete through the air, taking the Rougarou's head clean off. The angel steps back enough to avoid blood splattering onto his clothes.
"Oh good your home, I thought you had forgotten its Chilli Tuesday." Crowley speaks his voice holding its usual gruffness. Why he has to fake these pleasantries Castiel does not know, it would be much simpler if they could get down to business.
"You killed another one." Castiel states as he walks towards the desk beside him, observing the various cutting utensils on top of it.
"What can I say, I'm a sadist." Cas thinks it's the first time he's heard a demon be honest.
"Your methods are clearly not working." The angel states.
"My methods?" Crowley replies as he grabs a white cloth in order to wipe off his machete.
"You've killed and tortured over one hundred creatures and still we have not received the information that we need." Castiel declares as he turns to face his companion.
"There's only so much I can do angel. Maybe if we had some of your wonder boy powers pushing these blasted creatures around they might just be a little more inclined to tell us where their slut of a mother is."
Castiel glares at Crowley. The fact that a demon has the gall to talk to an angel as Crowley is is unbelievable at best.
"I will not lower myself to commit an act of torture upon anybody. I will go and see if Sam and Dean have any leads on Eve." Castiel turns to leave but doesn't miss the intentional comment Crowley makes about Dean having tortured countless more souls then Crowley ever has. The comment brings bile to Cas's throat.
He flies away before he reaches the warehouse door and ends up catching the Winchester's mid conversation.
"-the dudes busy."
Dean spins around to face Castiel, his heavy boots clunking against the ground.
"Cas get out of my ass!"
/
(AN) Hey guys sorry if it's been a little while since I last uploaded anything. I've been crazy busy and I've been too critical of my writing, every time I write something I'm like nooo then have to delete it and start again lol but I'm pretty pleased with this end product. Anyway review and let me know what you think.
Much Love
Dolorous Doll x