"Commander," Joker said over the Normandy's intercom. "Dr. Chakwas would like to speak with you down in the medbay."
She felt her eyebrows mash together in confusion. "I'll be right down."
The CIC was strangely quiet as she made her way to the elevator. She couldn't help but think that whatever was down there in the medbay was going to be bad news. With shoulders held high, Shepard exited the elevator to see the doctor standing outside the medbay doors.
"Hello, Commander, it's good to see you," she said as she shook her hand. "I thought you might want an update on your squad member."
Her machine heart felt as though it stopped. "I wasn't aware that one of my crew had been injured."
She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, the Lieutenant is fine. He had a slightly deep lesion on his forearm, but nothing I couldn't fix. He's all patched up now; the medi-gel had tripled his healing time, but he's still mildly delirious from the pain medication I gave him earlier. That should wear off in a couple of hours and he should be fine by tomorrow."
The doctor walked away to the crew's quarters, but then unexpectedly stopped and turned back to her. "And by the way, Lieutenant Johnson reminds me of that drell, Mr. Krios. Just how he is so polite, formal, and gracious. He really is a good man, Commander. I think you two are excellent for each other."
A grin had managed to form on her lips, long after Dr. Chakwas was gone, leaving her alone in the hallway. In her stomach were those butterflies she got when she was a child, or before she gave a pep-talk before a fight. It encouraged her to step forward through the medbay doors, and beside the stretcher that Thane was laying on.
His chest was bare except for his forearm which was neatly wrapped with gauze. It looked as though he had been sleeping, but her presence aroused him to blink his incredibly blue eyes open. "Hey," he croaked out, sheepishly smiling and his voice sounded gritty from sleep. "The one person I wanted to see."
"How are you doing?" she asked, positioning a chair next to his bed to sit in.
"Oh," he mumbled, as he looked upon his bandaged forearm. "This is nothing, just a cut."
Shepard rolled her eyes. "'Just a cut' isn't how Dr. Chakwas described it. And you need to work a little better on your cover, Lieutenant Johnson. Either that, or Chakwas has an incredible talent of identifying someone's personality."
"Just wait a minute," he started to argue. "I have been under the influence of strange drugs I've never taken before. You have to at least cut me some slack."
She couldn't help but laugh at him. He was so vulnerable and completely irresistible that Shepard had a hard time suppressing the impulse to take advantage of him right now.
He chuckled along with her. "But more importantly, how are you holding up?"
Shepard fell silent at the question to look down at the immaculately clean floor. "Do you want the short story, or the truth?"
His gaze pulled her right in, entrapping her in their depths. "I want to know everything."
"The truth is. . . I'm terrified. Whenever I close my eyes, I see his face. I think of all the failures I've done, and it makes me feel like I'm not good enough." Her hands squeezed together to try to release the tension she felt. "As much as I'd like to use my own hands to kill him a thousand times over for what he's done to you, and to us, I don't think I can do it."
Thane was quiet for a moment. He finally eased her hands into his own, holding them against the soft skin on his chest. "I remember one of my mentors back on Kahje when I was going through my training. He had told me, 'It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices.' I believe that the struggle you are going through with yourself is ultimately that you consider your skills are not adequate. But that is wrong; you simply have decided that it isn't your place to take his life without really realizing it." He paused for a brief second, as if deciding whether or not to continue. "That is why I will do it."
Her head snapped up at his words. "What? Do you realize what you're saying? I think those pain medications are impairing your thoughts."
He shook his head. "I know exactly what I am saying. Sometimes, life demands you to render your own beliefs and morals to do something that is beyond what you deem comfortable. I am not doing it out of revenge, I am doing it because you believe it's right, and because I love you-,"
She had cut off his words when her lips pressed forcefully upon his. At first, she crushed them together, afraid that it might be the last time they ever do so. But eventually Thane had relaxed their kiss into something softer and passionate than Shepard ever dreamed of experiencing.
He broke off suddenly, leaving her eyes closed and wanting more. "Siha, I think this is inappropriate unless inside of your cabin walls."
"Let's make it appropriate, then."
His half smile had returned the butterflies to her stomach again. "I'm in no shape to do this tonight, siha. Maybe -,"
"You said it yourself," she interrupted him, pulling him off the narrow cot. "It's just a cut."
Thane ignored the burning of his arm as he carried her into the cabin. This night was like the eye of the storm, the calmness just before the chaos. He read the reports. Two hours ETA; two mere hours until the final assault. Emotionally and physically he was ready, but mentally? His mind was on the woman that was stripping herself of her clothing in front of him.
"Do you ever think of what could have been?" She asked, relinquishing her bra. "What we could have changed?"
He had to be honest. "With every waking moment."
She advanced toward him, her body swaying like silk. "Would you still be here, with me tonight?"
Her hands were upon his chest, and he could feel their warmth through the thin cotton. "I've had regrets. I've made mistakes. But I learn to accept them, because they've made me who I am. Without them, I wouldn't be here, or be the man I was meant to become."
He could feel her breath against his skin as she leaned in closer. "What about the future?"
His hands ran over the course of her spine before he gently laid her on the bed. "The hurricane will pass, and then we'll enjoy that place by the sea."