Lights! Camera! Action!

I am sorry for the late update...again. I have so much to do and to think that I forgot to update. It's a short one, but I wanted to update something now. Also thank you to everyone who's still reading and have reviewed, favorited. Happy reading!

Chapter 8

Present day "In your hearts, I will always be loved. In your heads, I will always be remembered."

Adjusting his black tie, Derek threw a glance at himself into the mirror. Dark rings under his eyes, from the lack of sleep, were even more apparent this morning. All glimpse of joy that used to be in his eyes had vanished. He starred at his emotionless face before letting out a weak sigh.

A knock at the door broke him out of his thoughts. He turned his head towards the door that was already opening. A blonde haired woman poked her head inside and seemed to wait for the dark skinned profiler to invite her in the room. Derek didn't flinch, his gaze back on his reflection instead. He heard the door shut and steps coming towards him.

"Derek"

His eyes met hers through the mirror reflection. He didn't know what to say, how to feel. He attempted to move his hand over hers but it was futile. Stricken by everything that had happened the past few days, he didn't notice that she had taken hold of his hand.

"Penelope"

He wasn't surprised that she was here with them and he truly appreciated her presence, though it was hard for her to notice behind his stone face. Garcia broke the glance and made him turn to face her. He bore his eyes into hers as she took him into a friendly embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Derek, please say something."

The worry in Garcia's voice didn't go unnoticed by the profiler. He had spent the last three days thinking about the tragic events, that had killed two persons, over and over in his head. But all he could think of was how everything was his fault.

"I shot her," he answered as she stretched her arms to look at him. "I shot her."

"You had no choice. You had to do it."

"Did I, really? It shouldn't have happened." He knew she was trying her best to cheer him up, but it wasn't that easy when she was as devastated as he was.

"You're right! It shouldn't have happened. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have done anything. At least you attempted something, you tried..."

Morgan pulled apart form her embrace a little too harshly than what he intended to and walked up to the only window in the room.

"That's the problem, Penelope!" He didn't mean to yell at her, she knew it. "I tried. I tried and failed. I failed her... I failed, Penelope. I..."

He saw the sadness in her eyes, and couldn't help but feel guilty once again. Garcia reached him within few steps and laid her hand over his shoulder. Both remained silent for a moment, unsure what could possibly break this sad silence. A faint smile escaped his lips as the blonde softly cupped his chin and leaned her forehead against his.

"You know she'd be proud of you."

"Would she? I thought I've made the right choice, and look what happened. Look at how we're dressed and where we're going. This didn't end up as it should have had.

Once more, Penelope pulled him into an embrace. "Are you ready?" She asked just as she pulled apart from him.

He took a look at her, the way she was dressed. Black dress with a V cleavage, black high heels that revealed the red polish of her toes. The only jewel she was wearing was a simple gold chain with a little angel as medallion Garcia would usually wear something flashy in her hair but on this occasion, only a simple purple headband was dissimulated under her curly red bangs. He took that moment to look at her, and raised his eyes to mentally thank God to have a friend like her at his side at a time like this.

"I think I am." He said, but his uncertainty betrayed him.

She started to walk up the door. "The others are already there." She turned and tilted her head, seeing he wasn't moving. "You know, she would want you there and she'll probably be there as well; Maybe not physically, but she'll definitely be there. I know she will." She'd spoken her last words more as to convince herself than to inform her friend.

It was there second attend to a funeral this year. It hadn't been easy the first time and it was no difference for this one too. When they were at Haley's funeral, they all had reconsidered themselves, mostly Hotch. But now it wasn't about reconsidering, it was about all those 'what if' that didn't happen but could have made a difference, a better difference.

Derek made his way to his best friend, as they both left the room to join the rest of the team at the cemetery.

"We are gathered here to say farewell to..."

The priest' words floated in Derek's head in a vague murmur. He let his gaze wandered to the coffin in front of him to the person next to him. Someone next to him took hold of his hand, breaking him out of his thoughts; Garcia.

"... In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Few looks were exchanged as her name was called by the priest. Tears swam in JJ's eyes and Penelope's. Hotch and Rossi kept their head bowed, trying to keep their composure. Morgan took a look at Reid next to him. The genius seemed completely lost in his thoughts.

Derek raised his head and closed his eyes, filling his mind of the memory of his partner's face. The words of the priest brought him back to earth,

"... From dust you came, to dust you shall return. Jesus Christ, our savior, shall raise you up on the last day..."

He watched the priest making the sign of the cross and people starting to make their way to say their farewells. He hesitated to walk up to her coffin, feeling the guilt boiling in his veins. Just as the answer he was looking for, Garcia laid her hand on his shoulder, and gave him a wan smile.

Derek walked up to the coffin then stopped, and lowered his head. Eyes closed, he recited a prayer in his head. He opened his eyes and drew a sigh. "I'm so sorry." He mumbled to himself and walked away.

He wandered between the gravestones, hands in his black jacket. The minutes passed and the only think he could think of was how bad he wished he could be by his partner's side right now. He wanted to see her and to hear her voice again. He started to remember the first time they'd met and how they were quickly introduced to each other by Hotch. That one time when Emily had been surprised that he enjoyed reading Kurt Vonnegut and then told him she was a little bit nerdy from time to time. They had bounded a really strong friendship over these three years working together, but then the memories of the recent events filled his mind for the hundredth time today.

He raised his head, suddenly stopping his flashbacks and noticed almost everyone had left. He went back to where the ceremony had just end up fifteen minutes ago, and he looked at the grave stone, stroking it with the tip of his fingers. He squeezed his eyes shut, refraining some tears and breathed calmly. When he opened his eyes, he saw the team a little further on the road, ready to leave.

Derek joined them and shared embraces with his colleagues. It felt good to be surrounded by them, his friends. He wasn't alone in this and knew he could always talk to one of them.

The sun had started its descent on the west horizon, coloring the few clouds of a pale red. Even if everyone had left, Derek wanted to stay a little longer with Emily. He didn't want to imagine his life without her. He couldn't.

"I'm so sorry." Tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn't care. "I've made a mistake and I don't know what to do anymore." He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to find the right words to say. "How am I gonna get through this, if you're not there with me? How am I gonna do without you?"

Derek took a deep breath and stared at the written name. He ran his fingers along each letter E-M-I-L-Y. "I need you Emily. I need you back." Few tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision. ''Please, come back...''

I just wanted to make sure that any hope you still had about Emily being alive were all crushed. I am mean, yeah! But you know there is a reason why I wrote this that way...

Now I can't promise you when I'll update next, but I will update it as soon as I can.

Reviews are welcome! So, tell me what you think of the story so far.