Author's Note
This is my first time writing a SolKar fanfic so please forgive me if it turned out not-so good at all.
Disclaimer:
Homestuck and all characters in this fanfiction belongs to Andrew Hussie.
Nepeta's Dating Game Part 1: A SolKar Fanfiction
Karkat sighed and scanned through his chat with Nepeta on Trollian.
arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
AC: :33 *ac twitches her friendly whiskers at cg*
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NEPETA?
AC: :33 karkitty! i want you to join in on my game!
CG: WHAT GAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
AC: :33 its like a dating game! we set up three trolls fur you and you ask them questions
AC: :33 but of course we arent going to show you who they are! were going to make you write on a papurr and we will read it out loud
AC: :33 how about it karkitty? :3
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOG. ARE YOU ASKING ME TO PLAY THIS GAME BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID SHIPS?
AC: :33 not really! we just wanna s33 who fits you better!
CG: OR IN OTHER WORDS, YOU WANT TO FIND OUT WHO MATCHES WITH ME SO YOU CAN FUCKING SWOON OVER IT.
AC: :33 oh c'mon! its purrty fun! the suspense gets higher when you get paired up with a guy!
CG: I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOG THAT IF YOU PUT FISH BOY ON THIS, I WON'T HESITATE TO MURDER HIM!
AC: :33 deal! was that a yes? :3
CG: MAYBE. YOU SAID THREE TROLLS. OUT OF A FUCKING HUNDRED PERCENT, HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO GET A GIRL?
AC: :33 that remains to be unseen! but if you must know, fifty purrcent!
CG: OH GOG. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING TO LET YOU PAIR ME UP WITH A GUY!
AC: :33 you could still hold on to that fifty purrcent and get a girl
CG: STILL A FUCKING NO
AC: :33 raawr! c'mon karkitty! please!
CG: NO. WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!
AC: :33 i wont take no fur an answer! i swear its going to be lots a fun! the others are joining! c'mon! :3
AC: :33 even the humans are joining!
AC: :33 i purromise it will be fun!
AC: :33 *ac curls up on karkittys lap and stares up at him*
AC: :33 please karkitty? :3
AC: :33 please please please?
CG: HOLY SHIT! OK, I'LL JOIN YOUR GAME! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
AC: :33 yay! i'll get you in a sec
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
Karkat waited for Nepeta to come. He grunted and scrolled back up.
"Why the fuck did I agree to this again? Oh yeah, because I'm such an asshole to think it over again in the first place!" Karkat stood up and left his hive only to be tackled down.
"Ow! Whoever fucking did that better had a death wish or-" Karkat's eyes were closed. He heard a familiar giggle and he knew who it was. He opened his eyes to meet Nepeta's.
"Relax, Karkitty! It's me! Time to go!" Nepeta grabbed Karkat's hand and yanked him up.
"Thanks. Who's going to be at your stupid dating game, anyways? Assuming that trolls don't want to be paired up by some cat girl" Karkat and Nepeta walked together. He could think up a thousand reasons why Nepeta would do something like this.
"Puurrr. It won't be that bad! lets say almost everyone!" Nepeta stretches her arms wide as the smile on her face grew wide.
"Everyone except?" Karkat asked. They were nearing the place that Nepeta said they would go.
"Well obviously Rose and Kanaya! I mean, they're already the most purrfect girl couple ever!" Nepeta jumped up and down, giggling to herself.
Of course they are Karkat whispered to himself. Once they transportalized themselves, they were met with the noise of chattering trolls here and there.
"I'm so excited by this! I wonder who would be my pair. I know! I'll check up on my Magic 8 ball" Vriska grabbed her 'Magic 8-Ball' and shook it. She looked through and read her fortune.
"Very doubtful? What does that suppose to mean?" Vriska flew into rage and threw the ball hard on the ground, breaking it. This got Tavros attention, making him look into Vriska's direction.
"Uh, are you okay, umm, Vriska?" Tavros looked nervous. When Vriska heard his voice, she looked up and smirked.
LOVE BIRDS Karkat thought, ignoring them.
"Oh my god. I hope I don't get paired up with a guy! and besides, I'm not a homosexual!" John was talking with the human Jade. He saw Karkat and waved at him.
"Hey Karkat! Over here!" John waved his hands frantically over his head. Karkat had no choice but to roll his eyes and approach the human.
"Did Nepeta drag you into this bullshit too?" He examined the look on the boy's face before Jade spoke up.
"Oh no! Nepeta told me and I dragged him here! Too bad Rose and Kanaya didn't come" Jade frowned but quickly brightened up again.
"At least Dave is here!" Jade ran off to Gog-knows-where and left John.
"Looks like they're starting! Let's go Karkat!" John grabbed Karkat's arm and ran to where Jade went.
"Hey! What in grubfucking hell do you think you're doing? Ow! Don't touch me!" John ignored Karkat and released him when they got to the other side of the room.
There were three chairs facing the left side and one chair facing the opposite. Nepeta spotted Karkat and smiled.
She sauntered to his direction and greeted him once more.
"Here! Stay here fur a while until I get your partners" Nepeta turned Karkat around and left.
"Great. Just what Alternia fucking needs. More touching and grabbing from trolls and human. Oh, let's just get everyone to touch me. Isn't that great?!" Karkat rolled his eyes in sarcasm. He groaned when he realized he was talking to himself again. He faced palm himself when a voice spoke up.
"Well, let's just sea about that" And then, there's this guy. Eridan reached for Karkat's shoulder when Karkat glared hard at him.
"Don't you even think about landing your dirty fins on me or I will choke the hell out of you!" He watched as Eridan held his hands up in surrender and backed up.
"I will get my hands on you someday. Just you wait" Eridan disappeared from the trolls. Karkat sighed when finally, he heard Nepeta's voice.
"Ok, I got them three sitting on the chairs! Meow I need you to cover your eyes and let me lead you to your chair" Nepeta smiled, her fangs showing off. Karkat hesitated before covering up his eyes with both his hands.
OH MY GOG. THIS IS PLAIN STUPID Karkat felt himself slowly being pulled then Nepeta pushed him down slowly, making him sit on the chair.
"You can take them off meow" Nepeta stated. Karkat took his hands off and was faced with a grinning Jade, John holding a hand to his mouth, Terezi just standing there and Feferi smiling.
Nepeta gave Karkat a pen, a piece of paper and a book to use as support when writing down on the paper.
"Alright, let us start! You may begin writing down your questions and I will be here to read it out loud" Nepeta said.
Karkat thought for a while before writing down on the piece of paper. It read: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? -TO CONTESTANT #1
When he was done, he gave Nepeta the paper and stared at her. She smiled and nodded at Karkat.
"Contestant #1, what is your favorite color?" Nepeta wiggled her tail as she waited for the troll's answer.
She saunters over contestant #1 and receives the paper.
"Contestant #1 says purple!" Nepeta gives the paper back and goes back to Karkat.
"Next question!" She pokes on his arm to let him know.
WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS DUMB GAME? Karkat stared at the ceiling and thought. Suddenly, he smirked and scribbled down his question.
He gave it to Nepeta and watched as her nose scrunched up. She exhaled and glared at Karkat.
"Contestant 2, what do you think of this stupid game?" Nepeta inhales and gives Karkat the paper. Karkat waited for Nepeta to go get the paper and when she did, she read out loud.
"Contestant 2 says it's lame and pointless. Raaaawr! c'mon guys, don't be so mean! You're purractically saying this to get me to stop the game" Nepeta pouts and hands back the piece of paper back to contestant #2.
"Alright, next question" Nepeta skipped back to Karkat and waited for the question.
Karkat stared at the paper, grabbing the pen on his other hand. He couldn't think of anything else so he wrote down whatever came to his mind.
It read: IF YOU WERE STRANDED ON AN ISLAND, WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WITH? -CONTESTANT #3
He handed Nepeta the paper and waited for her to say it out loud.
"Okay. Contestant #3, if you were stranded on an island, who would you want to be with?"
Nepeta handed the paper back and ran to the third contestant. The paper was given and she read it.
"Contestant #3 says no one. Because he/she can handle herself/himself alone" Nepeta scurried back to Karkat and says that the last question shall be asked.
Uhhh. What else Karkat scribbled down words once again and handed Nepeta the paper.
"The last question goes to contestant #2! The question is: IF I WERE THE SAME GENDER AS YOU ARE, WOULD YOU STILL DATE ME? Awwww!" Nepeta screams a little at the end of the question.
Every troll and human seem to be doing the same *cough*exceptfordave*cough* and Karkat couldn't help but get pissed off. He held his breath in and waited for the 'awww's to die down.
Nepeta's footsteps were heard running towards the contestant. When the answer was written, she grabbed the paper out of the contestant's hands and read it out loud.
"Contestant #2 says it depends on who you are. But nonetheless, I'd date you!" Nepeta does her little fangirl scream and runs to Karkat.
"Oh my Gog! OTP! OTP! OTP!" Nepeta goes around in circles. When she calmed down, she told Karkat to pick.
IT'S OBVIOUS I'M PICKING CONTESTANT 2 SO THAT'S WHO I'M PICKING Karkat thought and kept his head low.
"Contestant #2?" Karkat whispered low, facing Nepeta. She squealed and told contestant #1 and #3 to show themselves to Karkat. Both got up and turned around.
Gamzee smiled before reaching out to Karkat's shoulder. Karkat looked up and smiled back.
"Nice choice, brother" Gamzee chuckled and left. Aradia gave a pat on Karkat's back and she gave him a thumbs up. Karkat stood up and waited for Nepeta's instruction.
"Ok, both of you, turn around!" Nepeta squealed.
Author's Note
I'll stop riiiiiiiiight here. I'll be making the second part in just a while. Or so... Is it okay so far? And I might only keep this fanfic until the second part because I have no plans of making it longer. Hope you guys like it.