ANGLES - CHAPTER 5

'You make me feel like the one,

you make me feel like the one,

The one' ~ 'Dakota' By The Stereophonics

She'd decided long before the shit hit the fan that she would take a week off when he'd have his honeymoon. It was only a week, but now that he was one of the Big Bosses she had insisted that he at least have a week off; take some time; live out of a suit for five minutes and see the world. And him being gone meant there was little reason for her to be there also. Therefore: a perfect opportunity.

A day in and she was aimless. She was just as much of a workaholic as he was; not that she'd ever admit it. It wasn't all about Harvey; she genuinely liked sorting someone's life, organising everything so that it all ran smoothly; mostly because her life was almost always uneventful and her nine to five made it feel like she was doing something, contributing in some way.

Harvey.

His fingers had been itching for 3 days. It was an odd feeling; that only seemed to get worse the more he tried to ignore it. Sex wasn't making it go away; however enjoyable, which seemed insane; for the amount of time he'd spent trading in Tuscany for a five star bedroom; he'd have thought the amount of endorphins completely invading his system would have at least put a stop to it. But no, three days and counting and they were still itching and he couldn't literally put a finger on it.

He still hadn't had the chance to go over things in his head. The sudden 'panic fuck' had happened 4 days ago and still he hadn't spent a minute on it. Of course he shouldn't spend a second on it; but it was perhaps a catalyst. Or maybe it was just nerves? It was hard not to see Donna in every role of his life when she was responsible for the most prominent part of it. And away from her, he was rationally against changing his current situation.

He was happy.

But when he saw her again in…five days' time?

All he knew was that he had been itching to touch her all through that day, supressing the urge to find comfort in her for whatever was irritating him.

How long had he been seeking out that comfort in the quiet confines of his office; If not through touch; then through talking, constructing ideas, solidifying game plans?

He suspected that they had gradually developed this cocoon of theirs long before he'd ever met Alex. Hell; long before any of it.

'Just like I expected you to fight for me…'

'I can't be me…without you…'

'I need you…'

'What the hell is wrong with you?'

'I have a feeling you're about to tell me…'

9 months previous:

"You just made Managing Partner." She said. She may have been in a little bit of shock.

"We, just made Managing Partner." He corrected; a smug smile on his face.

She looked out at the large windows of his office. The same office as they'd been in the last six years. Harvey had been resolute that he was staying in this office; being that Jessica had the best office in the building and wasn't about to give that up on a dime head it was decided that they would remain where they were.

But they'd made it, finally. It had taken six long years but they had finally reached that place they were striving for.

"So, where do we go from here?" She twirled around, her Maroon dress swishing a little at the edges as she stared at Harvey, her usual playful suggestiveness in every corner of her demeanour.

"A bar…?" He asked, leaning carefully back in his seat.

She frowned. "Harvey; I have a date tonight."

"Blow them off." He shrugged.

"I can't." She said, hair swaying as she shook her head at him.

"Right." His interest piqued; but she could have sworn there was a little disappointment in his eyes.

"Don't give me that face. That is the face that has had me cancelling the last four dates because of you. 'Donna, I need help with this deposition' 'Donna you promised you'd help me figure out' 'Donna, blah, blah, blah.'"

"So…Cancel." He said, his voice even but no less demanding.

"Harvey, you need to get a girlfriend." She said, shaking her head.

"Do I?"

"I'm serious."

"Just come for one drink. I'm buying."

His convincing face could be her Achilles heel...

"One." She warned; holding a finger up.

They'd ended up at 'Inoteca' on Rivington. They had a habit of downgrading to a cheaper night out when they were together; it was an uncommon occurrence; but when it did happen it was if two people who preferred a more up market night out, when put together made for a slightly more intimate and low key occasion. It barely ever happened in the later years of their working relationship when they'd stopped being friends and became just colleagues. She wasn't sure when it had really happened, but most likely after 'the other time' a silent kibosh was put on nights out for just the two of them.

It was sad, when you thought about it. How women and men of a certain age just stopped being friends; as if you get to that age and then you're supposed to be married and if god forbid you're not, you fall either into the 'promiscuous' or 'forty year old virgin' categories. And, on top of that you're also not allowed to just meet with people of the opposite sex for a drink without it meaning more.

Admittedly she and Harvey had an ambiguous history; but still, it made for an unnecessarily weird situation.

The great thing about the place they'd settled on was the wine. In fact, there were something like six hundred wines on the menu; and although they both usually chose Scotch, it seemed a good idea to celebrate in a slightly different way.

"Eleven Years." She said, taking the words in.

"Longer for me,"

"Yeah, well you had to find me to get you there, so." She said with a wink.

"Good thing I found you then... How's the wine?"

Donna smiled at the chinking of their glasses.

"Going down a treat; thank you." She said.

They sat in a moment silence; the soundtrack to Friday night city life still buzzing around them. She couldn't help but feel like Harvey was acting out of character; far too much of the 'old Harvey'. She'd spent so long with him being a certain way that any change like that seemed so out of character; but of course, give to a man to decide to act a certain way for a prolonged period of time before the time finally came to change right back again. She wasn't like that. She hadn't changed that much, but she had grown; and she couldn't go back.

You could never go back...

"You thought any more about cancelling that date?" He asked, his eyes lingering on hers.

She couldn't tell if he was just trying to irk her or really meant it.

"Why are you so set on having me cancel the only date I have this month?" She asked, more intrigued than she was supposed to be.

"I have my reasons…" He said, maintaining his 'game' face.

"And for that matter, how am I not to know that, after I cancel my date, you find some slightly easy very beautiful woman to take home for the night?"

"Not tonight." He said, shaking his head.

What was he hiding from her?

"Really? We'll see. You forget…that I know you, Harvey Specter."

"And I know you, Donna Paulsen."

She smiled. "I don't think that you know me as well as I know you."

"I know you better than you think I do." He fired.

"Fifty bucks and 5 questions says you're wrong."

"…deal. You're gonna lose."

"I don't think so. My job is your life. Your job, is your life. That's not a lot of room for me,"

"I always make room for you," He argued; the soft side of his voice intimidating her enough to bring out her bolshie side.

"Stop changing the subject. Okay… let's start easy… What's my favourite restaurant?"

"Are you gonna answer truthfully? Otherwise I'm not playing." He said, pouring them more wine out of the carafe.

"Go on." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Regardless of what opens up in this city; you've always been in love with Per Se; specifically for the garden, which you didn't shut up about all through your appetiser."

"Dammit… Okay fine, you pay attention. What's my father's name?" She asked; confident of the difficulty of the question.

"I've only met him once; you met my Dad a hundred times!"

"What a shame... Name please."

"…Uh…Jeff?" He asked.

Her face crinkled. "Damn, lucky Guess. If I could go anywhere in the world?"

"Paris."

"If I didn't work for you, who would I want to work for?"

"That's got to be a trick question?" He asked, completely dead pan.

She let out a huge laugh that caused the people two tables over to pay attention. "You are so arrogant." She laughed; sipping her wine.

"I thought that's what you loved about me?"

She ignored his comment. "How old am I?"

"Really?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"You'd be surprised." She suggested.

"…thirty six…you're nearly thirty seven?"

"I don't want to play anymore…."

"You can't bail; I only have one more to go!" Harvey objected.

"Fine… What was the name of my last important boyfriend?"

"Well, discounting the fact that you keep me from all of them…apart from one…who hated me…his name is…Jerry. I hated that guy." He said; reliving the memory.

"It was Paul…" She suddenly said.

"What?" He asked; confused.

"The one who hated you… It was Paul."

It silenced the moment. It was the most complicated part of their past. They'd never discussed the things that had happened.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Don't be,"

"No, I am. I didn't realised he'd asked you to choose." Harvey said; his voice careful, almost reminiscent.

She hadn't expected him to bring up the trial run. They hadn't spoken of that either, since it happened.

"Yeah well… it was worth it, for this last week at least." She took a huge swig of her wine; hoping for a subject change.

She watched him lean closer over the table. "For what it's worth, Donna. I never wanted you to be alone."

She was starting to get drunk, on wine. It was a danger; when she drank wine she let her 'friend' guard down and the woman in her came popping right out.

"I made a choice Harvey. I'm not proud of it but I made it. And it turned out okay, so." She took another swig of wine.

"You ever think about the other time?"

"Harvey…" She warned, eyes flashing immediately.

"I do." He admitted, voice darkening.

"Really?" She said; finding his words a little startling.

"When you wear things like that strapless black thing you wore to the Darby Merger fiasco, how could I not."

"Look; I can't help it if my Boss bribed me back to work on a huge bonus." She said, unmatched innocence making her all the more 'devil' than he'd accused her of.

"My money's never been spent so well." She watched him pout, flashing his gaze at her.

"Harvey," She threatened; her defiant tone unable to hide her blushing in the low glow of the restaurant.

"Had there not been trouble brewing that night, there would have been a second other time." He said, his deep voice purring.

"No there wouldn't! What? You think I'd just jump into bed with you when you decide?"

"Last time we never actually made it to the bed…" He recounted, watching her with mirth as she squirmed in her seat.

"Yeah, because my conscience kicked in!"

"On the kitchen counter, or was it couch?" He said; his voice, a low rumble in his chest.

"Harvey. It was for the best." She reasoned.

"I always thought it was because Jessica put a stop to it?"

"When have I ever been scared of Jessica?" She challeneged, eyeing him over her wine.

"So…it was you?" He said. She couldn't miss the unmistakeable disappointment in his voice. It was out of place in their relationship. She thought that he'd known it was mutual between them.

"Harvey; we decided…not to pursue…it? We agreed." Her voice kinked at the edges; her heartbeat fastening.

"I actually thought that Jessica had made the call." He said, his voice a little stunned of emotion.

"Harvey; let's not dredge up the past."

"Donna,"

"I…it's getting late Harvey, I've got a date to get to. Thank you for the drink." She mumbled; pushing in her chair.

If she didn't walk now, then she never would and it would turn into a long, drawn out mess on top of a great week.

Butterflies were threatening her stomach, her hands were sweating and she was getting angry as overcompensation for the mud in her head.

And cabs were clearly vacant on this street.

"Donna."

She turned around to see him standing, his hands notably not in his pockets. That dark look he got in his eye threatening words that would change things.

She drew a long breath. She had to cut him down; and quickly before he started to chip at her resolve. "Harvey, what's done is done. We still work together; nothing's changed."

"What if we changed it?" He closed in on her.

"Harvey; no one likes a Boss who screws their assistant." Her words were hard and fast and deliberate.

"You know it's not like that," He reasoned.

"Harvey, do me a favour…find yourself a girlfriend, someone who you can have a life with. And please…forget tonight." She said, before getting into a cab.

She was relieved that he didn't follow her.

He'd gotten the message. Whatever it was she'd been trying to tell him.

She cancelled her date that night.

The next week; he had a date with an ex-client called Alexandra.