A/N: This chapter turned out long anyway... My apologies, but many things will happen. Things people might want to murder me for... -shivers and sets up shields-
My apologies if I never replied to your review. I've been doing alot of college-related things and am a little stressed out, and I keep forgetting to reply. I have read each one though and would like to thank every one of you -smiles wearily- I promise I'll reply this time.
Enjoy, please.
Opinion: Fears Can Be Made Real
Some time after Demyx left, Zexion was holed up in his room. For once, he wasn't doing homework, reading, or obsessively writing down his woes on paper. Well, he was fervently writing, though. The words suddenly smacked into him like a freight train when he was sitting on the floor crying. It took little prompting for him to shoot up and begin writing what he was thinking, what was making his heart swell and make it feel like a balloon.
Earlier that week, he found a few websites where he could download songs and within a hour he had acquired some more songs from Linkin Park and was busy listening to them as he wrote. He couldn't believe how easy it was to write these kinds of things out – so much easier than when he ranted about what happened back then. But he wouldn't let that get to him ever again. How stupid could he be?
As he wrote, there was a small smile on his face, one that felt silly.
Where is my mind? This was something some part of him wondered, and, given all he'd been through, Zexion was willing to bet it was a more rational part of him. In other words, something he should listen to. Somehow though, I can't find the energy to.
When evening arrived, Zexion sat back on his chair and gave out a sigh. He had written more than he thought he would, and he didn't know what to do with it. He supposed for now he'd just stick in his drawer with the rest of his writings. He took the sheets of paper and noticed that his notebook wasn't in his drawer. An almost panicked feeling seized his chest before he realized that it was on top of his desk. That's right, he had forgotten to put it back after Demyx had come by that time...
"Why are you so upset? Is it because I found something that just maybe proves you have a soul after all?"
Maybe...one day...after all the tutoring was done and the first semester ended...he could apologize? That was the civil thing to do, wasn't it? Zexion exhaled and put his new papers and notebook into his drawer, closing it with a soft thud. Moments later, he heard the chime of the doorbell. Uncle Auron was downstairs and was the first to answer it.
Zexion looked over at his clock. He had to hand it to her, she was prompt. That was more than he could say for most people. He turned off his laptop just as his uncle and Quistis, who was holding a bag, appeared in his doorway.
"Evening," he greeted tersely, if anything remembering why she was here in the first place.
Uncle Auron was smiling. It was an odd sight, but an endearing one. Zexion always had the opinion that his relative always had a very warm and handsome smile. He'd have it offered to him during those times when he felt like something was missing when he was with his parents. Uncle Auron had that kind of safe and protective demeanor.
"Shall I let you two get straight to it, then?"
Quistis was the one to answer. "Yes, sir! Thank you very much for allowing me in! I promise to take good care of your nephew~"
His uncle let out a deep chuckle, ruffling Quistis' hair like she was just some little girl. "I trust you to it then," he said, walking away. Zexion couldn't help but feel like he had just been offered up for a sale. He had little time to ponder this ominous feeling more when he heard the rustle of fabric being pulled out.
If he wasn't such a serious person, he might've laughed hysterically. As it happened, when Quistis came over and pulled his costume out, all he could do was utter the words,
"Hell. No."
Quistis pouted and gave him a disbelieving look. "What? You can't mean you hate my creation."
"Labeling my impression as hate would be too lenient," Zexion said. "I would prefer abhor entirely."
Unperturbed, Quistis pushed up her glasses in almost a challenging gesture. "Well, no matter what you think, this is what you're wearing," she declared, spreading the costume neatly on his bed. She clapped her hands together. "Okay, disrobe, then."
"Quistis, you are the most delusional person I know if you believe for a second that I—hey!"
Her hands were on the hem of his black shirt and tugging it up over his torso. At his armpits, she tugged to lift his arms. "C'mon, you have to cooperate! Now arms up!"
Zexion struggled against her. "I-I don't think this is very appropriate-!" His voice was cut off as the shirt was pulled over his head. The seconds that followed were a painful blur full of his yelps and protests and Quistis laughing. When he was reduced to his underwear, Quistis quickly went to work dressing him. In what seemed like seconds Zexion was completely dressed again. He didn't even know how the hell he got pants on again.
"I think...that just qualified as sexual harassment," he said in shock. "How did you...?"
"I should think," Quistis said with a satisfied smile, "you've known me long enough to not to question me."
Zexion kept talking even as Quistis took his hand to lead him to the bathroom. "If I have no idea what's going on, I have to question it," he told her. He stopped speaking though as soon as he looked at himself in the mirror.
Quistis laughed right beside him. "Your face will freeze that way if you don't be careful," she warned in a sing-song voice.
"What have you done to me?" he asked in a horrified whisper.
She turned him around and gestured for him to sit on the counter. "I haven't even finished the torture yet. Now close your eyes for me."
Zexion was about to ask what for when he noticed the stern look Quistis was giving him and immediately closed his eyes. There was a saying not to turn your back on an enemy, and Zexion was fairly sure that that's what he was doing by leaving himself vulnerable for the blond-haired girl. Well, more vulnerable than he had been even five seconds ago.
As soon as he felt something soft against his eyelids, he flinched. Before he could even say it, Quistis chastised, "Calm down. No one has yet died from make-up." The soft sensations continued to brush over his eyelids as Quistis worked and he wondered just what it was she was putting on him. A firmer feeling glided all around his eye, catching him by surprise, but he quickly suppressed his instinctual flinch.
Her fingers brushed back his bangs and carefully put them behind his ear. "Your bangs will be down on this side since I didn't pin them, but I still want to do this eye, too," she said with a smile. When she was done, she put his hair back, smoothing it down.
"Now, pucker up your lips," she ordered, lightly slapping his cheek.
His eyes flew open. Okay, that Zexion couldn't ignore – there was only one thing that she could want to put on his lips... "I think we should stop here, don't you think?" he asked, but he did as he was told. For all of his intelligence, Zexion really didn't know how to outsmart a person – it seemed like he was always the one being tricked into these messes.
Oh yes. Halloween indeed. Grateful that he wasn't facing the mirror, he instead found himself looking at the face of concentration that Quistis was making. She was working this hard to torture him but she herself wasn't even dressed up.
"Are you not attending any social events tonight?" he asked her slowly so as not to disturb her work. He caught a glimpse of the lipstick and grimaced. It felt weird against his lips.
Quistis smiled. "Oh, I do have something with some of my friends in the next town. But that's not until eleven, so I still have a little time to go home and make myself lovely." She capped the lipstick and wiped the corners of his mouth with her finger. "Speaking of which, I think you will be the belle of the ball, my dear~"
She gestured for him to get down from the counter and look at himself in the mirror. Zexion really didn't want to, but he supposed he should see how severe the damage was...
He deserved a slap for thinking he was staring at a girl. It was his immediate thought with the starlight-blue eye-shadow arched over his lids, making his own eyes seem bluer and wider. Earlier, Quistis had pinned some of his hair back with a large black barrette that had a black rose on it so it looked like a flower was pinned right above his ear. Painted on his thin lips was black lipstick that he surprisingly didn't distaste as much as he thought.
The costume Quistis made though was decidedly a boy's apparel, even with the ripped lace and frills. His pants were slimming and vertically striped black and gray and reached just above his ankles. She had given him these heeled boots that he was still having trouble walking in ("How do you expect me to walk up and down stairs in these!"). The tailcoat he was wearing was a darker blue than his eyes but made him look rather skinny when Quistis buttoned it up. Underneath he was wearing a white dress shirt with lacy cuffs that fell over his fingers; and around his collar hung a ripped cravat that surprisingly didn't look ghastly.
Altogether, Zexion should've thought he looked ridiculous – and admittedly, he wanted to bolt out the bathroom and rip off the clothes – because he looked so far from himself. The person in the mirror was nothing like him. What would he do when people he knew saw him – when Demyx saw him?
But then he thought, who cared? Quistis said it herself, hadn't she? "Think of it this way, you can become whoever or whatever you've always wanted to be on Halloween. The costume and make-up is to keep people guessing."
Quistis was beside him, a broad grin on her face. "I think I could've done better with the coat, but with such time... Oh, but I still think you look dashing!" she gushed, pinching his cheek. "If you want, I can add a bit of glitter under your eyes."
"I-I draw the line at glitter," the slate-haired teen said nervously. No sooner had the sentence left his lips did Fuu suddenly appear through the open bathroom door, stopping short at her notice of the two teenagers inside. Her gaze fell on Zexion and she looked momentarily confused before stifling a laugh.
Zexion didn't have time to die of embarrassment as Quistis extended her hand. "Oh hello! Sorry for stealing your bathroom, I just wanted to put the finishing touches on Zexion's costume. I'm Quistis." Her smile waned slightly when it was obvious Fuu wasn't going to shake back. "Um, do you need the bathroom?"
Fuu glanced at the blond girl but took another long look at her brother. She made a noise between a laugh and scoff and left the doorway. A few seconds later there was the sound of someone going downstairs.
"That was mortifying," Zexion said through an exhale.
"I think she liked it," Quistis said, referring to the costume. "Who is she?"
"My younger sister," the teen answered, walking out the door. "That's it, then?"
Quistis nodded, walking behind him with her hands behind her back. She was giving him a proud look. "Demyx should be here in a few minutes, so I'd say we finished just in time." She took a seat at the top stair in the hallway, patting the space next to her for Zexion. Obviously this is where she wanted to wait for the time being. "Just remember not to wipe your eyes no matter how much you want to. You'll smudge your make-up."
He found himself frowning at her. "If someone were to inform me that one day I'd be warned not to smudge my make-up, I'd never believe them," Zexion sighed.
"If someone told me that I'd actually see Zexion Anderson off to a party, I'd never believe them," retorted Quistis nonchalantly. When he turned to glare at her, she just smiled sweetly and laughed. "But honestly, Zexion, I'm happy for you. I never pictured you doing something like this. You'll have fun."
"If that's the conclusion you've come to," Zexion said blandly, plucking at his cravat.
A small chuckle left Quistis. "Your sister is cute, too," she remembered with a mischievous glint in her eyes that made Zexion worried. "Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised if she's your sister. She has that boyish charm like Roxanne."
Before she could get too absorbed in calculating future plans, Zexion stopped her. "I must request that you don't drag Fuujin into any of your antics." You'd sooner receive cuts and bruises first, he mentally added.
After a few minutes of Quistis talking about random things and telling him about the party she was going to later, the doorbell rang. Before Zexion's mind could function again, Quistis was up and skipping down the stairs. The slate-haired teen slowly got up, kicking some feeling into his legs, about to call out for the blond-haired girl...
"Oh yeah, he's just up there."
The door creaked open some more as Zexion began to tentatively walk down the stairs, gripping the railing tightly in case his heels led to his demise. Within seconds, he was staring down at the smiling face of Demyx Watera.
Well, Demyx Watera dressed as a pirate. A visually pleasing pirate with tight black pants and a loose, half-unbuttoned white shirt. His blond hair was down form its usual faux-hawk, strands of his hair spilling down over his kohl-rimmed eye from the red ribbon tied around his forehead, the ends falling over one of his shoulders. Over one of his eyes was a black eye-patch and a plastic sword was tethered to his hip.
Now Zexion had to admit, he never avidly studied pirates before, but he was pretty sure that none of them were as good-looking as Demyx was.
One aqua eye widened at the sight of Zexion as he reached them, followed by an incredulous laugh. "Whoa, you look so different, Zexy. To think Quistis was able to get you to put on make-up and that...costume..." His smile became a little awkward, but he turned to pat Quistis on the shoulder. "You've gotta let me in on your persuasive skills, madame!"
"Boys are incapable of learning it," replied Quistis with a patient sigh. "It's a woman's charm. Isn't it, Zexion?"
The slate-haired teen only crossed his arms and looked at Demyx wearily. "Women are troublesome," was all he could say. He caught Demyx still staring at him and he shuffled nervously, his heart pounding. Was the blond mentally laughing his head off, thinking he looked hilarious? Quickly, he mumbled, "L-look, are we departing or not?"
"Yeah, have you told your folks yet?" Demyx asked.
"They know of my plans tonight," Zexion responded simply. "Wouldn't it be redundant to inform them?" The idea of his uncle coming down and seeing him in the costume was enough to make his face turn red. Quickly, he nearly shoved the three of them out the door and shouted a vague message to Auron before closing and locking the door. "Let's go before he comes out, please," he said with a groan.
Demyx laughed and turned to the girl of the group. "Do you need me to take you home, Quis? You can board me ship!" he said with a wink and terrible accent.
"Oh, don't worry about me," she said with a smile. "I've got a perfectly good dollar that can be spent on the metro."
At the notice of the expression Demyx was making, Zexion said, "He doesn't have the highest regard for public transportation." The night was slightly chilly, but he was still warm under all the lace and fabric. He idly tugged at the flower in his hair, wondering if he could ditch it when Quistis left.
"Such a gentleman," she cooed. "But I'll be fine. I live only a few blocks away, so don't think anything will happen."
"Just don't place yourself next to the senior citizen conversing with himself," Zexion advised with a smirk at Demyx.
"Laugh all you want now," the blond said after Quistis left, "but you'll find yourself trapped with a psychopath one day and it won't be so funny then." He unlocked the doors to the car and opened the passenger-side door for Zexion. "My lady~"
The teen's cheeks turned red. "Keep up banter like that, and I might decide to just remain at home," he threatened, narrowing his eyes and taking a step back from the car.
Demyx laughed, waving his hands as if to wipe away what he just said. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he chuckled. "I couldn't resist. I had to try it at least once, but I won't do it again." He watched as Zexion slowly stepped into the car and sat in his seat. He leaned into the teen, voice lowering. "But I did say you were attractive, right?"
Trying to calm his pounding heart, Zexion turned away, pushing Demyx away from him gently. "At least you have the intuition not to say pretty anymore," he said when Demyx was in the driver's seat and starting the car.
"Maybe you should remind me every once in awhile that you're a guy," Demyx said in a sultry voice that sent a shiver down Zexion's spine so sharply that he visibly jumped from his seat. The blond looked at him in surprise, like he hadn't expected the slate-haired teen to respond in such an immediate and strong way. Zexion realized the same thing and practically died in his seat.
He tried to ignore the smirk on Demyx's amused face and stared out the window, into the night scene as Demyx let the radio play. There were already some trick-or-treaters out, although a bit on the kindergarten side as parents held the hands of angels, Power Rangers, princesses, and ninjas.
Zexion gave each one a momentary stare as they passed. He went trick-or-treating only once when he was little. His mother drove them to one of those richer neighborhoods that went all-out with decorations and had better candy. Zexion couldn't remember much of it, only that one haunted house had scared Fuu too much and they went home early. He couldn't even recall what he had been dressed as, but there had been black cat ears perched on his little sister's head, and she had had a tail.
Catching his reflection in the rearview mirror, Zexion murmured, "Doesn't the costume Quistis made give the impression of going a little...over the top?"
"And I ask again, what's life without extremes?" Demyx countered. "It could be worse. You could've dressed like Lady Gaga or something."
"Lady who?" Zexion shook his head and leaned back against his seat, trying not to smile at the grin that the swimmer gave him. "Eyes on the road. You're handicapped enough with that eye-patch. You shouldn't even be wearing one while driving."
"It wasn't on the driver's test, therefore, I'm not doing anything wrong." After a beat of thought, the blond said, "Now getting me ship through these concrete seas – I'd wager that might have been a problem..."
Zexion never met Yuna Lesca before, but he did know of her boyfriend, Tidus, who was on the swim team like Demyx was. When Demyx parked his car at the curb of a squat, two-story house, he saw the familiar blond standing outside with a brunette in a long skirt, both of them illuminated under the porch light. With narrowed eyes, Zexion noted that there were no other cars in the driveway, and that the house seemed to suspiciously have no activity inside it.
He turned to Demyx as the two teenagers approached the car, Tidus waving a greeting. "Where are we, Demyx Watera?"
The swimmer flinched. "Uh-oh, last name. I'm in trouble."
"Where are we?"
"This is Yuna's house."
"Isn't this where you told me the party would be held?"
Demyx shifted in his seat, coughing into his hand. "Ahem, did I say something like that?" he asked with a wide smile.
Zexion all but wanted to deck him. The back doors opened and Yuna and Tidus got inside. The brunette smiled pleasantly and kindly, and the slate-haired teen believed her to be the most sane one in the car other than himself. She laid a long staff against her that was topped with a golden circle and several tear-drop shapes. White bell-like sleeves feel over her arms. The eyes that Zexion looked into were green and blue.
"Good evening," she said in a mature tone, nodding at both Demyx and Zexion.
"'Sup, Tidus," Demyx greeted to the other blond getting into the car. "Hey, Yu-yu."
Tidus scowled lightly at his friend as he closed the door. "Dude, I told you that if you give my girlfriend one of those weird-ass nicknames you give people, I have license to kill you," he said, leaning forward to the front seats. "And since I'm dressed as a bounty hunter, I can make that into a huge reality."
"You talk like pirates don't know how to fight," Demyx retorted with a challenging grin. "Hey guys, this is Zexion Anderson. He's been my tutor for the past couple of months."
The slate-haired teen could practically see it in Tidus' eyes, the surprise in his appearance and that he was a boy. Goddammit, what was the point in sexes if people couldn't classify you on sight? He never considered himself androgynous, and there mere thought of it sent his stomach in knots.
"Gawking is rude," he said simply to Tidus.
"What? I wasn't gawking!" he protested immediately, turning his full attention on Zexion now.
"Hey, I wouldn't argue with Zexy if I were you. Under all that lace is an iron force that would kick any ass," Demyx said knowingly as he backed out of the curb and out onto the street again. "For instance, I can practically feel the glare he's giving me because I lied to him about the party being at Yu-yu's house."
"You what?" Yuna said. "Demyx..."
"He wouldn't come if I told him it was going to be in a public place!" defended Demyx. He took turns between looking at Zexion and the brunette in the mirror, pleading them to understand. "If I told him we're going to this big thing at the ballroom, he'd never agree."
Zexion snapped his head at him, so fast the flower in his hair bobbed a little. "We're going where?" he hissed.
Sensing the distress, Yuna offered, "Don't worry, it will be fun. I promise. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Nothing wild will go on. Tidus knows I wouldn't go otherwise." She gave her boyfriend a humorous smile.
"Yu-yu is right," Demyx automatically agreed, practically swerving the car with his enthusiasm. "It'll be great!" He sighed in bliss. "And I ask again, dear Yuna, what is it that a great gal like you sees in a bonehead like Tidus?"
Tidus pulled out a plastic gun and pointed it at Demyx's temple. "Sorry, who is a bonehead?" he asked tautly.
"No shooting the pirate driver!" laughed Demyx, turning sharply down one intersection. Zexion swayed violently and bumped his head against the blond's shoulder. Idiot...!
It was going to be a long drive, he concluded as patiently as possible, taking a deep breath.
Twilight Town had a ballroom that was built back in the early 1900s. Once upon a time, it was a place exclusively for the rich and idle to spend their time, but after it fell into new ownership, the high-class society just stopped coming. After that, it was then used for reserved parties like weddings and private parties and family reunions. Nowadays, the ballroom was occupied with whoever came. It had been painted every color under the sun at some point, the stairs were still sturdy, and in the entrance hall was a collage of graffitied names, tags, anniversaries, and dates going back as early as 1964.
Zexion had never set foot in the ballroom before, but he heard about the parties that went on there – it was undoubtedly a popular hangout for teenagers, so the fact that a Halloween observation celebration was going on didn't surprise him. He bounced in his seat as Demyx drove through the graveled road and found a parking spot.
Over where the ballroom was, neon lights were spilling out of all the windows and music was thumping against the walls, as if fighting to break free. Some teenagers were lounging around their cars just hanging out – or making out, as Zexion noticed with disturbance – others just arriving and making their way towards the building. Tidus was the first out after Demyx parked, his trench coat billowing in the autumn wind as he offered Yuna his hand.
Butterflies had suddenly seemed to erupt in his stomach, flying everywhere, searching for release like the music. He didn't even realize he was making a face until Demyx shook his knee, the blond's face pinched in a slight frown.
"You want to be here, right?" he asked slowly.
Nothing else in his life had screamed for him to turn tail more than at that moment. He swallowed, tugging at his cravat and looking at the dashboard. "Honestly, don't you know I can look after myself?" he mumbled, opening his door. He took a resolute step out, ready to show Demyx Watera that a social event held no terror over him. However, the first person that stared at him as they walked burned away his determination quickly.
Yuna was suddenly at his side, flashing him a beautiful smile. "I really like your costume, Zexion. The blue and black really suits you," she said admiringly.
"None of it was my choice, but...thank you," he said, face growing warm. He glanced at her, gaze looking over her purple skirt and staff and floral-patterned yellow ribbon around her waist that he thought was called an obi sash. "What is it you're dressed up as?"
"A summoner," she replied a bit too-eagerly, her smile brightening. On her other side, Tidus emitted a good-natured sigh.
"Man, you got her started now."
Zexion blinked, not knowing how to respond. "What is...a summoner exactly?"
"Yuna loves RPG games," Tidus informed with a laugh. "Role-Playing Games," he supplied when he noticed Zexion's blank stare.
"A type of video game, O one-who-occupies-himself-with-reading," Demyx cut in, putting an arm around the slate-haired teen's shoulder lazily. He ended up leaning rather heavily on him because of their height difference, and Zexion quickly shrugged him off.
"I love them," Yuna gushed. "A summoner is an initiated person who can, as the title suggests, summon a creature called an aeon. Of course, depending on the game, its not always a summoner that can bring out an aeon."
Summoners? Aeons? Zexion wasn't getting it, and he didn't like that. Though he doubted he would ever get into video games. But if someone like Yuna liked them, then maybe he could, too. He made a side-note to look up RPGs later.
The four were greeted with the pounding music within, a pop song that Zexion wasn't familiar with, as soon as they entered. Shadows of people danced on the walls as their own flesh counterparts swung and jumped and rocked in time with the music playing. There was a stage at the wall furthermost from the entrance, where a band was performing, complete in zombie outfits with a dead girl singing. Orange and black objects were everywhere – balloons on the ceiling, streamers weaving the staircase and strewn on the floor, fake cobwebs on the door ways. The lightbulbs on the chandeliers were replaced with purple and blue ones, giving the room a darker feel. Zexion looked up at the high ceiling, flashes of shadows appearing and disappearing.
Almost immediately, they were surrounded by people and warmth flooded Zexion's body. Tidus and Yuna broke away, the brunette summoner waving as she melted into the crowd of costumed teenagers. Panic suddenly welled in Zexion's chest and he spun around to–
Demyx offered him a smile when the teen bumped into him. "Are you freaking out already?" he asked in light disbelief, bending slightly so that he could be heard. In reply, Zexion shook his head, looking all around them. What was he supposed to do? Dance? Talk? His tactic up until now had just been to follow Demyx – he should've realized a back-up plan was in order.
His attention was brought back to the blond when he was whirled around to face him. "C'mon, I gotta go check up on a few things, and I don't want you to die of social overload," he tease, hand on Zexion's shoulder. And as much as he hated to admit it, he knew that Demyx was at least a little right. Silently, he nodded in consent – where were his words, the beautiful sentences that so coherently fell from his lips? Words were the only weapons he had, laced with sarcasm, and this night was already stealing them away!
He nearly had to jog to keep up with Demyx's sudden and fast movements. More than once, he lost his balance from nearly running in heels he had only worn for an hour. He grabbed the thing nearest him to keep himself steady, his fingers curling around the sleeve of a boy dressed as an executioner, complete with a plastic axe. Zexion quickly backed away from the dark eyes, bumping into a girl in a sexy clown outfit.
"Hey!" she said in annoyance, shoving him back with her hip.
"M-my apolo-"
"Zexy!" A rush of relief went into the slate-haired teen's chest as Demyx took his laced wrist and helped him cut through the crowd until they were at one of the side walls adjacent to the stage. The blond didn't stop weaving them through the teenagers until they went through a door right next to the stage, just where a large speaker was placed and blasting into Zexion's ear.
The second Demyx closed the door behind them, the music became muffled, but only slightly so. It was enough that Zexion no longer felt like he should cover his ears. The room they were in was fairly small, more like a dressing room with its mirrors, and filled with instruments and cords. Lots of cords. It was like Demyx's room, minus the snake.
Occupying the space were three other people, two of them dressed like pirates like Demyx, though Zexion didn't know what to say about the the girl wearing a shredded shirt and knee-high boots.
"God, what took you so long?" demanded one of the pirates, a man with gray hair spilling down his back and shoulders, a similar eye-patch on his eye and impressive scars running down his face. Zexion knew that they weren't make-up. "And very funny with the patch, wise guy, what are you trying to prove?"
"I want to honor you any way I can," lilted Demyx with a grin. "It is my dream to be just like Xigbar."
"Oh, haha, you're killing me, man," Xigbar said dryly, slapping his knee. "Get that shit off your face before I shoot you."
"Knowing you, you're carrying a real gun," said Demyx nervously, holding up his hands in surrender. Zexion felt out of place in the secluded room and looked around to avoid looking at anybody. It turned out to be a big mistake on his part when the shredded-shirt girl was suddenly in front of him, cupping his chin and turning his head sharply to face her. He widened his eyes, blushing before he could get a single word out edgewise and she let go of him.
"Demy, who is this guy you've got with you?" she asked, giving a plain but polite smile to him.
"I'll tell you this, Rinoa," Xigbar began, "he better be Irving's replacement, seeing as he's not here yet and all."
The second guy spoke then, grinning in much the same manner that Demyx did. "Xigbar, you keep tripping out like this, and you'll get gray hairs – I mean, more than you have now, you know," he chuckled, leaning against a dark-blue bass.
Demyx made a twirling gestures near his temple with his finger when Zexion glanced at him. "They're crazy, you can ignore them." Picking up his voice, he said, "Don't sweat it, he's not going to do anything wrong. And he's not here to pick up Irving's slack. This is just a good friend of mine, Zexion."
"'Sup, I'm Zell," greeted the second guy, spinning his bass around where it stood. Rinoa waved with the same smile.
Xigbar went into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. "Yeah, okay, Transy here is all well and good, but in case you didn't notice, we go on in two songs." With the lighter he pulled out, he flickered on the flame and pointed it at Demyx. "This will be your first time playing with us in public, so show us you're good. Might even make you Leon's permanent replacement if they like you."
Zexion raised a brow, looking at the blond with wide eyes.
"Sound check in ten," declared the gray-haired man, standing up and leaving the room.
With a sigh, Zell said, "I just love how charming he is."
"Really? I don't," deadpanned Rinoa, whose sweet exterior suddenly gave way to a weary countenance. She, too, opened the door, releasing the music for a brief moment before exiting out of the room. Demyx waved at Zell and followed, making sure Zexion was following him.
His chest pounded in beat with the music as they got out and melted back into the dancing teenagers. The mixture of lights and sound overwhelmed him again, and he half-hoped that Demyx would latch onto him so that he wouldn't get lost in the strobe of cacophony. Thankfully, Demyx was walking slower this time, though he seemed not to have any particular destination in mind. He finally stopped somewhere in the middle of the crowd and whipped around to face Zexion, who nearly bumped into him.
"You're part of a band," he said, the surprise still somehow with him.
Demyx laughed, rocking from side to side, dancing with the music it seemed rather than moving to it. His movements were fluid and free, following no uniformed style. Zexion didn't know whether to place it as actual dancing or just ridiculous movements.
"Yeah," he shouted. "I was surfing around this one website that helps you find local bands in need, y'know? Their old second guitarist had surgery in his arm and can't play, so they got me for the job."
Zexion smiled before he knew it. He remembered once before commenting on how much it was a waste of Demyx's musical talent that he wasn't in a band. Although he wasn't singing, he knew this was a great opportunity for the blond. And he did have that rather funny-looking instrument in his room... And these lights, this laughter, this hot energy radiating from each person... It was all very much Demyx's kind of atmosphere. Zexion knew that much.
"Looks like you're not completely without talent," he remarked, if anything to save face.
Demyx saw through it and moved closer to him. "You're not dancing at all. What's wrong with you?"
The slate-haired teen was confused. "I'm not under any ailment-"
There was a roll of those aqua eyes as Demyx grabbed his wrist again – no wait, he was moving lower, touching his hand... "Not that, you nerd. I meant you're at a party. You let loose at these things. C'mon, now prove to me this body isn't just for show."
Zexion gripped Demyx's bare forearms as tan hands found a place somewhere at his sides. "I-I don't– I can't dance, Demyx Watera, I've no idea how to-!" He yelped, skin tingling everywhere like electrical currents when he felt fingers flex against his sides, palms pressing into him as they seduced him into movement. He looked around, because people just had to be staring! But everyone was lost in their own dance, too enraptured by the singer onstage.
"I'll cast you a spell
A magic where everyone plays dead forever
And after tonight,
They'll never remind you..."
His grip was tight and trembling on Demyx's arm and he looked down at the ground, wondering if that pounding in his chest were beats of drums or his heart. He screwed his eyes shut, looking more like he was about to collapse rather than dance, with the way he was draping on the blond.
"Listen to the music. I promise that it's painless," came a voice at his ear. He shivered, even though he knew he shouldn't, even though he should stop because he was so embarrassed. "I want to have one song with Zexy before I have to go on. But I'll be slow with you, okay?"
"I-I don't know the song...or any steps," Zexion tried to protest, shaking his head. Demyx was swaying, his hands prompting the slate-haired teen to do the same.
"Neither do I, but you can get the flow of it easily enough, right? I think female vocals and softer melodies are easier to dance to when you're a beginner." He laughed then, like his own statement was ridiculous. "It's just me, Zexy. You don't have to impress anyone. Move like this," he gently nudged him to the right and Zexion complied with a jump, "and now like this," he did it again to the left, his movements slightly more natural.
He listened, gulping down a breath, to the soft drums, the alluring voice of the dead girl reaching out to the audience. He didn't know music like this, not like Demyx did. Was it even possible for him to hear it like the blond did, to let go of restraints and just let loose?
What did he have to lose? He was disguised in a throng of as equally masked people, surrounded by pure energy and sound, touching the very person who introduced him to this world. He closed his eyes again, bright lights popping out through the darkness.
Then he was against Demyx, their hands brushing, wandering...
"Thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme
To those of us who've never tried
To find a face behind our lipstick smiles
And as our pretty faces die
Our plastic hearts will wonder why
The makeup just won't hide the scars of time..."
He heard Demyx laugh then give out a large whoop. He opened his eyes, startled, clutching his arms once more. An uncertain grin spread on his lips at the sight of the blond being so happy. It started with just a feeling down in his toes, then he was bouncing slightly until he was jumping up and down with Demyx in time to the music. Others had already been doing the same, and now bodies bumped against one another, attracting and sending static electricity. Zexion jumped unevenly, still holding on to Demyx for dear life, not daring to let go...
"Like that," the blond said approvingly with a nod. "Just like that."
"I-I'm truly dubious as to whether or not I enjoy this," he shouted.
"Oh yes, you do," replied Demyx certainly, winking with his one visible eye. The song ended with one final note from the keyboard, and the crowd cheered. Zexion stopped moving, breath heavy and face feeling hot. He was really starting to regret the costume now, with its layers and damn heeled boots.
Demyx pouted. "Aw, time's up already?" He sighed as the band began the intro to their next song. "Well, I better go meet up with the guys. You'll be here, right? I could use some moral support."
"It's not within my experience to be supportive," Zexion admitted breathlessly, loosening his cravat a little. He offered what felt like a smile. "Though there is always time to gain such experience, I suppose."
"That's the spirit!" Demyx cheered, clapping him on the shoulder. "You're a good dancer, Zexy. You should do it more often." With a wave, he went back in the direction of the dressing room.
As people began gaining a feel for the new song, Zexion shuffled awkwardly, trying to decide what to do. He'd have to think up something quick if he didn't want to end up squashed. A tap on his shoulder made him turn around so that he faced a familiar summoner.
Yuna nodded upstairs. "Would you like to join me for a drink?" she asked. She led him toward a small flight of red-carpeted stairs that led to the second story, where a bunch of refreshments had been put out. She went to one table and got two black plastic cups for them.
"Have you ever had apple cider?" Her voice was slightly more audible, though she still had to raise her voice to be heard. "I got us the non-alcohol ones."
Zexion raised a skeptical brow as he took his cup from her. "It was my understanding that this wasn't a 'wild' event," he remarked, scrutinizing the contents of his cup. It looked safe enough... He took a sip. Hmm, not bad.
At this, Yuna sighed, shaking her head. "Well, you know how teenagers are," she said, glancing at the crowd below helplessly. "Can't control all of them." She glanced at him curiously. "Are you enjoying yourself so far? What's your impression?"
"I am...overwhelmed, for want of a better term," he admitted, tapping his finger against the plastic. They moved over to the railing overlooking the crowd, perching their elbows on it. "Where is Tidus?"
"Oh, I told him I wanted to check up on you since we left rather suddenly," she said, giving him a look like she was silently asking if that was okay. "So I left him for a bit, along with my staff. He's with a few swim team friends, though." She grinned, observing him. "It really is great that you decided to come here."
"That's what I've gathered from the opinions of others," he sighed, taking another, longer sip from his drink. His thoughts drifted back to what happened back on the ballroom floor with Demyx. To his surprise, he found he couldn't remember most of it even though it had been only a few minutes ago – all he could conjure up was soft, strong touch...laughing voice...singing...colors and darkness...a slight sensation of vertigo.
Zexion never knew he could let himself go like that. It was certainly a foreign sensation, one he dared to think he'd like to experience again, if just to make the finer details out when he looked back on it.
The song ended and the dead-girl singer announced that while they were in intermission, another band would be on. As the technicians set up, more teenagers made their way upstairs for socializing and refreshments.
"Have you heard Demyx perform before?" he asked.
Yuna shook her head. "I know he's good on the guitar and sitar, but Tidus told me that."
Zexion wanted to add that the blond was also a good singer, but then withdrew that information. If no one else knew about it, then he'd rather keep it to himself until Demyx made it known.
After a few minutes and a sound-check, Demyx and the others got on stage. Another guy was there with him, and he guessed that he was the Irving that Xigbar had been ranting about. As soon as the first guitar riff sounded in the ballroom, Zexion felt his tongue go dry and he quickly swallowed down the rest of his apple cider, licking up the tangy taste from his lips.
The song was heavier than what had just been played by the previous band, and it took Zexion awhile to adjust to the style, but he finally decided it was a decent tune. He didn't even know what was being sung because he was just staring at the blond banging his head and gliding his fingers up and down his guitar. With almost habitual reflexes, he noted that maybe he'd ask Demyx about them, learn more about what he was into.
"Aren't you going to go down and dance?" asked Yuna conversationally as the song continued.
He shook his head. He just didn't have that kind of confidence without Demyx around. Without Demyx, he didn't have that sense of...feeling invincible.
With one last crash of the drums that Rinoa played, the song came to a close. Yuna clapped and cheered. Zexion felt almost petrified and just nodded, like that was all the approval the band needed. During the course of two more songs, Zexion alternated between making idle talk with Yuna and watching Demyx intently. He looked so much in his element that Zexion didn't want to tear his eyes away from him. Had that spark always been there? Was it there when they met? When they talked or studied?
Had it always been glowing beneath the surface? And, as with many things lately, Zexion didn't know. Just as everything had swirled and taken its course when he was dancing with Demyx, the slate-haired teen wondered if he should do that with his feelings too. It would be hard, very hard, but he had spent the last few years of his life within the workings of his mind. Why couldn't mind-over-matter apply here as well?
Zell adjusted his microphone then and began to talk. His voice was lost to Zexion though, as he was still staring at Demyx, who was looking out at the crowd. Only when Yuna suddenly shook his shoulder vigorously did he register reality again.
"Wh-what is it?"
"You didn't hear?" Yuna said. She was smiling in excitement, and she was bouncing up and down lightly. "Demyx is going to sing a song. A solo performance!"
"That's pretty ballsy for a newbie," interjected Tidus, who suddenly came up on Yuna's other side. "Maybe this is good. It means he's a badass. Go, Demyx! Kick ass!"
Zexion blinked, shipping his head back to the stage. Demyx? Sing? Here, in front of everyone? His voice was going to reach the very marrow of his bones?
"This song," announced Demyx as he took the microphone, "is for someone very special to me. They probably don't know it. And this song couldn't have been done without them. I hope they love it."
What? Someone...special to him?
Swallowing the saliva in his mouth, Zexion composed himself. Regardless of who the song was dedicated to, he was still going to hear Demyx sing. That would be enough. The rest...he could sort that out later. There was plenty of time to sort out that stuff.
The song began slowly enough, with the blond striking simple chords. Then it became more fast-paced, a sound that vibrated the walls and resonated with the thumping of his heartbeat.
Then he heard the words.
"Thought of you once today
But once was too much to remember
Let my thoughts unwind
For once, I think I want to scream..."
No. It was the tune he had heard Demyx humming when he was taking him home after work. The very same song. "It's not something that anyone has heard. I made it up. Well, someone else made up the words..."
The very core of Zexion's being felt like it froze. His body became rigid, not wanting to move because the slightest action would make that frozen center crack and shatter...
He wouldn't. How could he? There was just no way... No!
"Didn't you know that pain felt good?
When everything else is lost in shadows
This tainted and sharp pain was there
I don't want your love and care..."
Zexion gripped the railing because he knew which words were coming next, and he mouthed them with Demyx's vocals, "I want you to look inside just once." The apple cider along with the rest of the contents of his stomach suddenly surged upward, and a nauseated feeling seized the slate-haired teen.
No. No no no. Demyx couldn't know these words, couldn't possibly because they were his, the words he poured into writing, the words of the poetry he spilled out from within deep inside himself, the part of himself he kept buried for so long, so long...
And now Demyx was singing those feelings, announcing them to the world. Everyone could hear them. Everyone knew his words now.
"The dream is what used to be
The illusions in my head are hard reality
I'm trying to fix what I can't repair
I'm trying to love the person who is no longer there..."
Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-!
"Zexion?" Yuna's words cut in, but they were far away, a voice he hardly recognized. He staggered backward, dropping his empty cup.
Why? A gaping wound tore through inside him. The pain and intensity of it stung his eyes, swirled his vision, just as it was when dancing with... No! Not him, not him!
He wouldn't do this.
"My reluctance is keeping me on the shore
While you're out drowning in the waves
Let the tide you away,
Drag you to another sort of solitude
Maybe one day, I'll give in to the current like you..."
Fool. Idiot. How could he be so stupid? So stupid! The eyeliner was burning his eyes as the tears fell down his face. He let them burn.
Demyx suddenly looked up and saw him. For a second, Zexion felt something stir his heart, felt some silent message being sent to him...
Just as quickly, he severed that connection and turned away, ignoring Yuna calling out to him as he ran down the stairs, crashing into people and tripping on the last step onto the floor. With a grunt of frustration, he took off the boots and ran out towards the entrance in only thin black socks. He didn't turn to see what Demyx was doing on stage. The music had already come to an abrupt stop, but he could still hear Demyx's voice, singing his poems, sharing his feelings that he wanted to keep a secret...
He rubbed at his eyes, but that made them sting more and streaked his fingers in black and silvery-blue. He tore off his rose, letting his hair fall down again. He brushed all his hair into his face so that he wouldn't see, so that others wouldn't see even though he was just exposed to all with ears...
He felt his throat constricting and lungs gasp for air. Was he sobbing? Could people hear it?
Who cared.
The door banged against the wall as he swung it open and he stepped outside, running into the trick-or-treat night.
Ending A/N: I do not own the song Play Dead, it belongs to the band The Birthday Massacre.
Demyx's song/Zexion's poem belongs to me. I copyright that completely. I've had this poem for this story for two years... -sigh- And I finally used it...
Criticism? Review? No flames? -sets up ice guard-