A/N: I'm so sorry for how long it's been since I've updated -bows repeatedly- I've started my first year of college and I've had some personal issues come up as well - both of those together just spelled disaster and so I haven't had much time to update. The due date for this chapter kept being pushed back and I finally woke up and thought, "It's December. This is ridiculous!" Thus this new chapter.
This chapter was a doozy. After I wrote it all down, it came down to over 7,000 words, which I haven't written for this fanfic in awhile. So I do hope the length makes up for my absence -sweatdrop- It was a bit hard to write this because it's so close to the resolution (or maybe this is it), and so many things are tying together and are getting resolved. I tried my best to make it all pan out well! Please enjoy -bows-
Opinion: Memories Can Last Forever
Moving around in a wheelchair was harder than Zexion thought. He thought it'd be rather simple to propel himself forward, but as it was he had been stuck in place for about two minutes before Demyx had laughed and began to push him. Needless to say, Zexion's cheeks were burning with a deep blush as he sank a little into the wheelchair.
As Demyx pushed him out of his room, Zexion looked down and mumbled, "I could maneuver myself, you know. All it takes is some practice..."
"Maybe, but you were kind of failing back there, and I'd like to go outside sometime before the party," Demyx said, leaning down as he pushed them into the empty elevator. It was a lot more spacious than he thought and he found himself getting momentarily motion sick as they descended down the six levels to the courtyard.
Dr. Watera had come in earlier wanting to see how Zexion would do on the wheelchair. The slate-haired teen took one look at the chair and shook his head. After all, what would he need one for? It wasn't like he was planning to go anywhere, and he pointed out as much to Dr. Watera.
The blond-haired man smiled. "True, when you're discharged, you'd probably do better on crutches, but it all depends on how well the healing with your hip goes. As it is, you don't want to move around too much just yet, and besides," he nodded off to the window letting into the late morning sun, "it's a beautiful day outside."
Wanting him to go out simply because it was nice outside. Zexion let a smile slip, a deeply fond smile as he glanced outside, trying not to laugh. "Demyx would...say something like that, too," he remarked absently. By the time he realized he said it, he shook his head fervently, wondering what got into him. Trying to make his blush go away (by completely ignoring it), he looked back at Dr. Watera to refuse the wheelchair once more...
Only to see Demyx standing right beside his father with a pleased as punch smile. "Hiya, Zexy~," he greeted happily, positively beaming at him.
Instead of welcoming him, Zexion bristled, resisting the urge to shout out as the blond's father was standing right there. Countenance frozen between horror and frustration, he articulated, "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"
"I came to visit you, of course! Last I checked, it was this special time of year called - ah, what was it? - your birthday?" pointed out Demyx sardonically, slinking into the room and plopping himself at the end of Zexion's bed. His hair was still unstyled, pulled back into a ponytail again.
How much would it hurt to beat the swimmer with his IV stand? "Last I checked, it was the middle of the week. You have school!" he exclaimed, gritting his teeth. "Am I tutoring you for naught?"
"I have a doctor's note," replied Demyx sweetly, glancing pointedly at his father.
"One day, son, alright? Just one," Dr. Watera insisted. He crossed his arms, sighing lightly as he looked over at Zexion. "He really insisted to be with you all today."
The slate-haired really wanted to hit Demyx with something. And maybe whack Dr. Watera as well. No respectable parent would just let their kid skip school just to spend time with another (Zexion blushed to think of this) friend. Then again, he supposed there was a lot of things the Wateras did that he just wasn't used to.
"Just because of my birthday?" Any other teenager might've found this all flattering and wonderful, but birthdays had never been a big thing with the Andersons in the first place. Zexion never celebrated them, so he didn't see the big deal in them.
Demyx opened his mouth, cheeks pink and eyes sparkling, but then he stopped himself and sat up a bit straighter. "Yes. Now get your butt in that wheelchair! You look like you haven't seen the sun in forever!" he exclaimed, jumping off the bed to get the wheelchair out of his father's hands.
Dr. Watera merely chuckled dryly and raised a hand to wave. "I'll leave you two to it then. Demyx, don't get too rowdy, alright?" he said, casting his son a light but meaningful look before walking out.
Zexion nearly gaped. He was just going to be left alone like this! What kind of weird carefree man was Dr. Watera? Such unprofessional decisions right before the patient! But Demyx didn't look like he was going anywhere anytime soon, which meant like it or not (as usual), the slate-haired teen was stuck with him. After another five minutes of Zexion trying to get Demyx to drop that wheelchair and go back to school, the blond then raised a challenging brow and leaned over Zexion, giving him a firm kiss on the lips.
Zexion liked to think he was above such manipulation.
He wasn't.
And he hated himself.
Greatly.
"Hey, Zexy," Demyx asked as the elevator doors opened and the blond wheeled him out, "can I ask you something? Oh here, take this." He plopped a sweater onto Zexion's lap, and the slate-haired teen automatically knew it to be Demyx's.
It was with a patient albeit fond sigh that Zexion put it on and said, "I believe I said it before, Demyx Watera, that is a question."
Demyx jerked the wheelchair forward in payback to scare Zexion. "Yeah, yeah, wise guy," he said, ruffling Zexion's hair. A nurse held open the door for them as the two went outside into the courtyard. A few other patients and visitors were scattered out, chatting and laughing softly.
As the cool air and sunlight hit them, Demyx said, "Yesterday there was something you were going to tell me. What was it?"
At first Zexion had no idea what he was talking about. He couldn't remember a time he willingly approached Demyx and told him there was something he wanted to tell him. It didn't even sound like something Zexion would do...
Then he remembered. Yes.
Demyx pressed just a little more as they walked down the pavement. "The thing no one but your old therapist knew. Don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I'm just wondering if you still wanted to talk about it."
"I remember," was all he replied.
A long pause was drawn out from Zexion in which he stopped really registering anything around him as he stared off into space. He did remember telling Demyx that he wanted to reveal everything, shed some dusty light upon the past he thought he accepted as past. But that's not true at all. My past has always...been consuming my present.
Zexion stilled, barely heaing Demyx calling out to him softly, tentatively. He blinked, inhaling as sharply as if he had been holding a breath - had he not been breathing? He glanced back, looking up at Demyx's face. The blond's countenance was creased with worry.
"I won't push you. We can just keep walking around. Talk about what you want to do for your birthday," he said with a smile. Aqua eyes gazed directly into Zexion's blue ones. More quietly, he added, "It must be hard."
Wordlessly and very slowly, Zexion nodded. "Mm," he grunted vaguely, glancing down.
Demyx nodded, putting on an optimistic smile. "Come on, let's-"
"I-!" Zexion began at the same time in an outburst. It was loud, sudden, startling himself as well as the blond who froze, eyes widened. Zexion struggled to string his words together. "M-my...my mother... I-I wasn't... I never..."
Hard. This was harder than he thought. For as many years as the feelings and memories had stayed inside him, swirling painfully, he could not now find words to bring them to the surface. Had he really thought about it all so little? His lips twisted in displeasure, frustrated with himself. He could already feel his cheeks heat up, but in what he didn't really know.
Demyx waited, then slowly led them over to a more secluded part of the courtyard underneath one tree. There was a bench under it that Demyx sat on, putting Zexion in front of him. He could feel those oceanic eyes on him the whole time, waiting still. "Yeah?" he prompted gently.
And Zexion was grateful. Grateful that Demyx's voice was so soft but gaze do direct. He needed this. His stomach was twisting in knots, worried about what would happen after he let it all out - how would he feel afterward?
Zexion shivered a little in the November chill, depsite the sweater Demyx had brought for him. It was comforting to wear the clothing that radiated Demyx's warmth, his presence...
"My mother...a few years ago, she left our family. Just left. To this day, some of her things are still stuffed in a closet. My father is still married to her, technically," he started. His words and voice sounded too plain to him, and he felt like the pain wouldn't be obvious, that'd Demyx would say he was stupid for holding this in for years. Zexion steeled himself, screwing his eyes closed, hanging his head slightly. "I'm-I'm sorry, I'm trying, really," he began to whisper.
There was still a small part of him reminding him what Demyx had done on Halloween. What if it happened again? What if Demyx just hurt him again? Maybe the blond didn't even realize how big a deal it was that Zexion was going to open up to him in the first place.
Demyx didn't say anything, didn't even move. If he were so bold, he'd venture to guess the blond wasn't even breathing. That was fine. That's how Zexion wanted it to be, and he found himself grateful once again. "Please don't think I'm stupid," he murmured almost inaudibly.
"I couldn't ever," muttered Demyx back, his voice also very low.
Zexion nodded, lips trembling slightly. "My mother always...had this certain ideal. A certain way for me and Fuujin to be." He stopped, not wanting to get too deeply into that. That person he was before irritated him to no end. There was a reason Zexion stopped being that person, one who was in no way "him," a person who made his skin crawl because it was that uncomfortable. "And for most of our life, we really were like that. It...could be because of what my mother was around all her life..."
"Zexy?" Demyx said quietly, in concern.
He shook his head, trying to get back into focus. "My mother had a horrible life when she was very young. Always watching. Always surrounded by those types of people. The type who were always sad, had a lot of...pain inside them - broken people, all so sad..." What was wrong with how he was talking? This didn't sound like him, this sounded like a child. When was the last time his words formed like this, into something...full?
Coming out. "Zexion" from those years ago...is coming out. His words coming out of my lips, the words I never said out loud. Only written down. Always writing...
"I learned later that she wished she could fix it. She wanted everyone to be happy. But she got it warped and mentally sick. And then I...I tried. I had tried to be her image of a happy person. I made friends with people I didn't really like, I talked to them. I played sports and laughed. I pretended...," he glanced up at Demyx, "that I liked girls. I pretended I cared. But then...I started...hating it." At this, he pointedly looked away.
"You weren't happy," came Demyx's voice, quiet and gentle. It was neither a comment or a question, and nor did it prompt Zexion forward or hold him back. Zexion didn't know how the heck Demyx did it, how he was able to say and do things that should frustrate him yet say and do them so correctly that Zexion could do nothing but agree.
"No, I wasn't," he confessed, feeling lighter. Dryly, he added, "Ironic, is it not? Well, Mother didn't like it. Fuujin wondered what I was doing, and I informed her that I wished not to do it anymore. I told her we didn't have to. So," he took a breath, shaking and trembling, "we didn't fake anything anymore. Of course Mother noticed when we got quieter, when we withdrew from others, when Fuujin became friends with people like Seifer, and when I stayed inside to read. Mother thought something was wrong and made us go to counselors. No one understood though, no one got why a child would go against their parent's wish for them to be happy. We," Zexion said with indignation, "became the wrong ones."
An elderly woman strolling along with a walker, a nurse monitoring close by, approached. Only when they had passed and the two teenagers were left alone again did Zexion continue.
"We'd constantly get into fights with Mother. There were times when she would just snap and start yelling at us. She wanted us to change, to go back to the way we were. She didn't understand how we were unhappy, and if there was something wrong, she wanted to get rid of it immediately. But we never did. I told Fuujin... I told her..."
"I'm not doing this anymore. You can remain there if you want. I have cleaned my hands of this."
I basically left my sister behind, not caring where she went. That's when everything really stopped, going backwards...
"I'm not dealing with any of it anymore! If you can't change, Zexion," wide, cold eyes gazing down at him in impatience, "then I'll change things for you!"
I...abhor change.
Demyx looked up at him, eyes as large and beautiful as ever. Zexion realized he must've said it out loud. His breathing was even yet heavy, and with one deep breath he said, "I despise it. I didn't want that kind of change. I didn't want her to leave." His voice was cracking, his bottom lip trembling as tears pooled quickly in his eyes, faster than he thought as one fell down his cheek. Still, he kept that expression of a person trying to fight against the pain, still trying uselessly to keep it all at bay.
"I didn't want that kind of change," he said again as the wind picked up. Zexion shivered, goosebumps prickling his skin. Reflexively, he hugged himself, rubbing Demyx's jacket against his arms for warmth. One of Demyx's hands reached out and rubbed his safe shoulder before squeezing it. The blond's grip was strong, warm, and solid, and his eyes were glancing down, long lashes fluttering over the oceanic orbs.
Zexion felt tired, and couldn't even summon the strength to shrug off Demyx's hold. He really didn't want to, anyway. For a long time, he was silent, just sniffing and trying not to choke on his sobs. In his mind, the rest of the sequence of events played out - the fights, the crying, the leaving... He knew it all, his mind played the pictures in rapid succession... Yet no words were forming on his tongue to explain it all.
"It's fine," Zexion finally said. It was past now. And no matter how much Zexion tried to forget it all, it was past. That, of all things, was fact.
Demyx looked at him in question, and the slate-haired teen could practically hear the blond's refute in his mind, but he shook his head slowly, giving a helpless, tired smile. He reached out to grip Demyx's sleeves, and leaned to place his forehead against the blond's shoulder.
"It's fine."
Zexion was unsure as to what one was supposed to do in this kind of situation. On the one hand, he understood that it was expected to comfort another when they displayed distress. He could more-or-less deal with that - or at least he was surrounded by those kinds of people so he was steadily getting used to it.
Although it was pretty much understood he lacked the social stamina to deal with more than one distressed person.
"Zexioooooon, I was sooooo worried about yooooou!" cried Quistis, her glasses going askew as she rubbed her face against his chest. Behind her was Roxanne, who was fidgeting horribly and fiddling with the buttons of her sweater, mumbling things incoherently, but obviously stuttering. More than once she seemed on the verge of tears. Standing off in the corner watching the scene were Demyx, Axle Embers, Lexaeus, and a girl Zexion had never seen before were offering offering sympathetic smiles.
The seven of them were huddled inside the birthday-decorated room that Quistis and Roxanne had taken the liberty of surprising Zexion with when he came back from the courtyard with Demyx. Needless to say, he had been all but raging when he realized the whole lot of them had skipped school, to which all Demyx could say with a laugh was, "Wow, for once I was the one with a legit leave of absence."
Plastic balloons were tethered together at the foot of his bed and streamers had been put all over the room. On the whiteboard right below the television was his name and "Happy Birthday" written in large block letters, surrounded by hearts and smiley-faces that were no doubt the doing of Quistis.
Speaking of her...
"Does it remain unseen to you all that I am injured?" he exclaimed in a breathless huff because of how much Quistis was beginning to squeeze the life out of him.
She wailed, giving one last squeeze before forcing herself away - with great effort, it seemed. Roxanne flushed and looked down, looking very much like she wanted to fling herself onto Zexion next.
"A-are y-you okay?" Roxanne sputtered with teary eyes. Then she let out a squeak, shaking her head fervently. "W-well, n-no of course y-you're not! Y-you were...w-were h-h-hit b-by a...by a..."
Axle let out a breathless chuckle and reached out for the blond. "Hey, Roxy-" She was interrupted by Roxanne breaking out in tears and sobbing.
More and more by the second, Zexion was feeling uncomfortable. He could deal with flustered Roxanne. He could even deal with stuttering mess Roxanne. He could NOT, however, deal with a sobbing and grossly crying Roxanne. His hand twitched, thinking to reach out to her. "U-um, there, there," he tried lamely, shifting uncomfortably. "Roxanne, I will be fine, alright? You don't have to cry."
"Yeah, it'll take a lot more than that to kill this thick-head," Demyx added with laugh, earning a narrowed glare from Zexion. "Come on, guys, this is supposed to be a party. Let's make it good for Zexy, yeah?"
Sniffing and wipping her eyes over her sleeves, Roxanne hiccuped, "S-s-sorry, Zexion. I-I re-really am h-happy you're oh...ohk...okay!"
"Y-yes..." Zexion couldn't help the awkward smile that tugged at his lips. "Thank you, Roxanne."
"That really is a horrible thing to go through," piped the girl Zexion hadn't seen before. She had short blond hair like Roxanne, with pale blue eyes that were looking at him softly and without judgment - a very gentle look and she was easily the shortest of the other teens.
He knew her name to be Rhyme. Zexion had nearly frozen on the spot when Lexaeus had introduced her as his girlfriend of five months.
"It's the reason Lexy hasn't been hanging out with us lately," explained Demyx quietly to Zexion while everyone else had been trying to get situated. "I'd...ask how you wouldn't know, but Lexy told me he never told you in the first place... But still..."
Isn't that the kind of thing friends should tell each other? Zexion knew the ending to that sentence. And for a moment he was shocked Lexaeus wouldn't tell him about Rhyme. Then again, the slate-haired teen really hadn't given Lexaeus the impression that he would've cared about that.
I was never about emotion, love, or affections. For the past years that Lexaeus has known me, I don't believe I've ever indicated we were even friends. Still, he was always around me, always with me, keeping me company... Zexion quickly blinked away the guilty tears before they pooled too much in his eyes.
Jumping up and slamming her hands onto the bed, Quistis declared, "Cake! We should get out the cake now so Zexion can open his presents!"
The smile that had been continuing to form on his lips froze and fell at what the blond-haired girl said. Frowning, he repeated, "Cake? Presents? You mean the line wasn't drawn at decorations?"
Axle laughed. "Ohh boy, you really need to get in the spirit of birthdays," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"That is-"
Demyx plopped himself on the bed, presenting to Zexion two small bouquets of flowers. "Here, this ought to cheer you up," he lilted, practically burying the slate-haired teen's face in the blooms. "My mom can't come by because of her lessons, but she wanted to send these to you. Yu-yu and Tidus would've wanted to come, but these flowers are from them. They've all been worried about you, man."
Zexion turned his head to sneeze. "Th-that's, um..."
"Hey now, don't you kids think you're overwhelming him all at once?" came a deep chuckle near the door. Auron was standing in the doorframe, and Zexion blinked in surprise when he saw Fuu there as well - although with her it was more that she was here rather than being shocked that she skipped school.
"Uncle Auron," Zexion murmured. "Well, at least one person here has some sense."
His uncle stepped in, Fuu keeping her distance tentatively behind him. "Actually," Auron said, producing a small, wrapped object from behind his back, "I just came to drop this off before I had to head to work today. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but I wanted to come by long enough to wish my nephew a happy birthday."
A blush, deep and burning, streaked over Zexion's cheeks as Auron tousled his hair, placing the wrapped package onto the slate-haired teen's lap. His lips opened and closed, certian jumbles of words coming out in a little more than a choke, and everyone laughed.
"Hey, gaping like a fish there, you know?" Quistis giggled, looking a little more herself now.
Even Auron chuckled, looking away from Zexion to glance at each of the other teenagers in the room at turn. When he looked back at his nephew, he gave him an approving, proud smile. Beneath those sunglasses he was in the habit of wearing, Zexion could swear he saw those dark eyes gleaming lightly. "It would seem your story has developed well," he murmured quiet enough that only Zexion could hear it.
"They...came of their own accord," the slate-haired teen tried to brush off nonchalantly, but only sounding feeble and embarrassed. To avoid Auron's playful laugh, he ran his fingers over the wrappings of the present his uncle had given him.
"...You realize you need a lot more practice with wrapping?" Zexion said with a small smile, shaking his head. "I'm quite certain a good seventy-five percent of this is tape."
At that, Auron crossed his arms, not seeming at all offended by the comment. "You have many more birthdays to come," he pointed out with a raised brow. With a nod to everyone, he turned to leave the room.
Fuu had been standing in the background the whole time. While everyone else went about their own conversations again, and Demyx pointedly went over to glomp the small Rhyme out of nowhere, Zexion looked over at his sister. He'd never seen her shy away before, especially with the person she was known as now. What respectable member of Seifer's gang hid over in a corner, begging not to be noticed?
Then again, Zexion didn't know everything about the trio of his sister and her two friends.
Finally, Fuu stepped in, her sneakers squeaking against the clean floor of the hospital. She went automatically to Zexion's side, not even casting the others a glance, her red eyes mostly hidden by her hair. Zexion began to wonder if that's what he had always looked like.
"Skipped school," she mumbled, fidgeting.
"Well, all of them did as well," Zexion said, if anything for conversation's sake. He could tell speaking was harder with others around. They had always been the kind of siblings who were better on their own. Looks like that hadn't changed - but Zexion didn't consider it a completely bad thing.
Picking at the zipper of her jacket, she added, "To see you for...your birthday and all. That boyfriend of yours told me and Uncle about it."
"Demyx Watera is hardly my boyfriend," Zexion snapped under his breath.
Now Fuu looked at him, raising a disbelieving brow. "I won't call you a faggot or nancy boy if you're worried about that," she laughed softly. Then she stopped short, and before Zexion could say anything, she asked, "That Roxanne girl is here, isn't she?"
Now Zexion blinked in slight surprise. Well, the two girls were in the same grade, so he shouldn't be too shocked about it, but still... "She is. I didn't know you knew her."
"Know her? Dude, remember when the rumors started she was a lesbian?" She sighed abashedly. "I'm the one that started that."
Zexion paused, glancing over at Roxanne. He expected her to be talking with the others, but she was sitting quietly in a chair, just watching the others. Once, her azure gaze shifted over to the two siblings. It was tentative and small, but she offered a smile to Fuu, who Zexion was surprised to shy away from the gesture, albeit a pleased grin on his sister's face as well.
"Do you two...have a relationship I've yet to know about?" he inquired slowly and in slight confusion.
Fuu's cheeks filled with pink and she shook her head. "Absolutely not!" she exclaimed, looking like she wanted nothing more than to sock at least one punch to him. She huffed, crossing her arms. "We just...we just talked recently, alright? I... She... I apologized to her. And she...told me some interesting things." With each word, Fuu's expression softened more and more.
Zexion stared at his younger sister, unsure what the feeling in his chest was. If he had to name it, he supposed...he would call it pride. He was proud of Fuu. And although he was unsure if he had ever felt this way before, he was certain that at this moment, he was glad that he wasn't the only one...who was done with moving backwards.
"Fuujin?"
"What is it?"
"Your court date... It's coming up, isn't it?" he asked softly, giving his full attention to her.
Through her locks of hair, her red eyes widened. Just as quickly, she turned away. "We don't gotta talk about this on your birthday, Zexion. That's depressing, don't you think?" she evaded, changing her expression to something more nonchalant.
"Yes, but nevertheless, I am..." Worried? Sad? Still it was so hard for him to name his emotions, and finally he settled with saying, "I don't want you to go through it."
At this, he was surprised to see his sister smile. It wasn't bitter or false. "And you think I want to? But we gotta pay for our mistakes, right? I fucked up, Zexion, I can't do anything about it. If possible, I want...to try to use the time away to talk to Seifer and Rai 'bout a few things. That guy we beat the shit out of...the hospital he went to is this one. Another floor and I'm not allowed near him, even though I... Well, I'd try to apologize, like with Roxanne," she admitted, looking at him in search for approval.
Zexion nodded, impressed. It felt like both of them had been wanting a do-over for a long time. To break off from their mother's ideal, they tried to become people who could be happy on their own terms. It led to years of being a broken family, of fighting, of silence, of a very cold home.
But in the end, he thought, closing his eyes and smiling as his sister's hand brushed against his, we did become happy, right?
I...would like to believe this is my fact. My truth.
"Guys, got the cake ready!" sang Quistis, plopping a circular cake onto Zexion's lap, who jumped in surprise. "We should hurry and do the candles before any doctors come in here about fire hazards."
Demyx reached over and swiped a bit of white frosting with his finger, tapping the tip of Zexion's nose with it. "Roxy made it herself, you know. Her and Olette have been baking a lot recently."
"I-I j-just hope you like it!" exclaimed Roxanne in worry as Quistis got out a box of candles. "If y-you don't, that's f-f-fine!"
"Oh? You bake?" piped Rhyme in interest. "Me and Lexaeus have been experimenting, but between him and my brother, things get to be quite a mess." She giggled at the dark pink that spread over the auburn-haired boy's cheeks.
"Hey, Fuujin, wanna help me spread the candles out for your brother?" asked Quistis, thrusting half of the candles to the slate-haired girl, who fumbled for them.
Laughing, Demyx said, "Wow, eighteen years old. You're such a geezer, Zexy!"
Scowling and wiping the frosting from his nose, he snapped, "As I recall, you're nineteen, Demyx Watera."
"Ah, crap, I don't got any matches!"
Axle tossed something shiny to Quistis. "Got you covered."
Demyx flushed. "I-I flunked second grade, is that so bad?"
"Axle wh-what are you doing with a lighter!?" Roxanne exclaimed incredulously.
Scoffing, Zexion retorted, "It only means you're an idiot, though this is something I've known for months now..."
"Relax, I don't smoke, Roxy."
"Here, Fuujin, light that end, pretty please~!"
"Think you're a wise guy, eh? Take this!"
"Demyx, I don't think the icing is supposed to be put on people..."
"Why not? You and Beat got practically none of the icing on the cake we made, heehee."
"Rhyme-"
"Kyaa, D-Demyx, w-watch it!"
"Zexion, you hang out with weird people..."
"S-so I've been trying to say-!"
"Shut up, birthday boy, and let us bless you with our godly singing!"
...Yes.
I'm sure...that I am happy now...
Crumpling up the last of the wrapping paper, Demyx turned and made a shot into the trash bag hanging on the bed. The room was mostly clean again, but the streamers were left up circling over Zexion's bed and over the window. The flowers Demyx's mother and Yuna had given the slate-haired teen were now in vases sitting on the nightstand beside Zexion, and on the foot of his bed were the presents he'd been given.
Roxanne had given him a large bag of gummi worms, something they had fun putting all over the slices of cake and there was still a lot left over. Quistis' gift was something Zexion only had to peek into the bag to guess it was another horrorific costume and he promptly pushed it far away with a forced thanks. The slate-haired teen thought it no surprise when Auron had given him a Stephen King book and smiled fondly, vowing to begin reading it once everyone had left. Lexaeus and Rhyme had presented him headphones and a music player ("We heard Demyx has been giving you some good music lately~"). Axle decided to bestow him the gift of keeping the lighter and a promise to tell him every dirty secret she knew about Demyx (one of which she whispered in his ear and he wished never to hear again lest unholy thoughts bloom in his mind...). Even Fuu had awkwardly given him something - a long black jacket that came with black gloves.
There was only one person Zexion had even remotely suspected he would get a present from but didn't, and that was the person who plopped himself next to him, grinning.
"So in the end, I guess your father couldn't show up, huh?" Demyx said quietly, disappointed.
"Enjoying this day might've become significantly difficult had he been around," Zexion tried to justify. He wasn't very bothered by the fact that his father hadn't been at the party, but he supposed it was slightly...a letdown.
Demyx's grin turned more mischievous. "Oh? So you did enjoy yourself then?" he asked, raising a triumphant brow as he swung his arm around Zexion's shoulders.
"Do not fool yourself with such notions," deadpanned the slate-haired teen, albeit lightly.
"Is it so bad I want to see you smile once? Maybe hear that cute laugh of yours again?" prompted Demyx suggestively, their hips touching now.
Rolling his eyes, Zexion lightly pushed the blond away. "My laugh is not such a thing. And neither is my smile anything special, either. I've told you this," he reminded, even as his cheeks began to flush. Yours, on the other hand...
Demyx pouted slightly. "You can keep up that hard-to-get act allll you want, but I know your weakness, good sir," he threatened, cupping Zexion's face before lightly kissing him.
And oh, if it wasn't a completely horrible and good weakness. There were a lot of things Zexion hated, but Demyx's kisses were certainly not one of them. Still inexperienced, it took him a moment to react well enough to lightly press back, closing his eyes.
"If you're not just about the most incorrigible person I know," muttered Zexion under his breath when they parted slightly. His eyes were still closed, and a smile was tugging at the corners of his lips.
Demyx's breath was warm against his lips as he whispered back, "Funny how you make your mouth say one thing then have it do something else." He pulled back more, grinning as Zexion opened his eyes. "Here. I hope you didn't think I'd actually forget to get you something for your birthday." He reached under the hospital bed with one of his long arms, pulling up a rectangular object with him.
It was neatly wrapped, blue paper with a green bow stuck to the top of it. Demyx placed the present onto Zexion's lap and looked at him expectantly. "Alright, go ahead and open it."
Still stunned at the sight of the gift, Zexion mutely nodded and tentatively undid the wrappings, tearing it away.
"Come on, come on, while we're still young," lilted Demyx impatiently when Zexion appeared to move too slow.
When the last of the paper fell away onto the bed, Zexion was holding in his hands a book - or what he at first thought was a book. In the setting sunlight, he saw the blue-black cover had no title, but only small designs of music notes and swirling shadows around the spine of it. He studied it, frowning as he flipped through the empty pages.
"It's a journal," explained Demyx. His oceanic eyes were swimming with meaning. "I thought, maybe... All the things you wrote before were on loose sheets of paper and regular school notebooks, so I thought maybe..." He reached into the wrappings and pulled out a long, thin object that was shining silver. "It came with a pen too."
Zexion glanced at the gleaming light bouncing off the pen and then back to the leather-bound journal in his hands. He never had such a thing before, never really considered that he would need it because the writing was never anything...special. Except just to put down his feelings into words, to place them in coherent thoughts...
He opened it to the first page, and there on the inside cover was a small message written in blue-green ink, styled in a familiar messy scrawl:
"Yo, Zexy! You really got something going there with the writing, I hope you know! You really are an amazing guy, and one day you're gonna light the world ablaze with your words. Keep the poems coming - just tell me if you ever write about some lesbians, okay? Haha, kidding (mostly). But really, happy birthday, man. Make all the memories you can. It'll be good for you. -Demyx"
After another few seconds, Demyx seemed to take the silence as a bad thing. He placed the pen down, shrinking back slightly. "Unless... You don't like it? I-I mean I understand, what with what I did and you..." He reached out for the journal. "God, I'm sorry, Zexy, I offended you, didn't I? I'm sorry, I'll, uh, make a mix CD or something, but it's just I make those for everyone so I wanted to actually try something different with you, but, um... Guess I'm not-"
"You really do talk too much. It's annoying," Zexion interrupted, but his voice had no bite to it. It was quiet, and slowly, Zexion hugged the journal to himself with his good arm. He looked over at Demyx. "Thank you, Demyx Watera. I'll use it."
Immediately, Demyx's eyes began to shine happily as he grinned that wonderfully contagious grin. "You mean it? When you say use, you don't mean to hit me or something, right?"
"Oh, I mean to write in it," Zexion promised with a small smile. With a chuckle, he said, "And I'll hit you with it, if nothing else happens to be around. It does seem as though it'd leave quite the mark..."
Demyx hopped off the bed, holding his hands up. "Alright, Zexy, but no testing out right now!" he pleaded hastily, laughing nervously.
"Don't be silly, I wouldn't want your blood on it."
"Ouch! That bad, huh?" Demyx said with a dramatic cringe, hissing.
"No. But this is...a very good gift. I'm...glad it was from you," Zexion admitted, looking back down at the beautiful journal. Taking a deep breath, he murmured, "Thank you. For this day. For the past few weeks. It...it's been very hard...for a very long time, but..." He glanced up at Demyx hopefully, waiting.
Smile softening into something more tender, Demyx nodded, coming close again. "Yeah...," he whispered, their noses bumping gently, lips brushing then meeting once more. Zexion lifted his good arm, his hand caressing Demyx's cheek, losing himself in the moment.
The door clicked open, and a shuffle of shoes sounded in the room. Quickly, Demyx pulled away, but still hovered over Zexion as the two teens looked over to the entrance of the room. Zexion's father stepped inside, loosening his tie and looking unshaven. Zexion froze, feeling extremely out of place, still in the afterglow of the kiss with Demyx so near him...
"Good evening, sir!" Demyx chirped, straightening up.
Giving the blond a sort of critical look, Mr. Anderson asked in surprise, "Aren't visiting hours almost over? You're still here?"
"I was just cleaning up the remains of the party," Demyx explained awkwardly, laughing as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Didn't want you or my dad to come in to see the mess we teenagers made."
Mr. Anderson nodded in understanding, taking off his coat and hanging it over one of the chairs. "That would make you Dr. Watera's son, then. Both of you are certainly concerned over the recovery of my son. Thank you."
Both teens lifted their heads a bit higher in surprise. Well, that certainly had been the last thing Zexion ever expected his father to say. He half-expected him to toss Demyx out on the spot, not casually make himself at home as if walking in to two teenagers was the normal thing to do. What was this? Zexion was so confused, he just...
"Say, Demyx?" called out the slate-haired teen. "You've got an English test tomorrow. You should go try to study for it. I know I've been hospitalized for a few days, but I'm confident we went over enough that you should manage well."
The blond gave Zexion a look like he was crazy, tilting his head as he frowned. "Are you sure?"
"You'll be fine," Zexion insisted tersely. He offered a half-smile. "I'll see you later."
Demyx hesitated a moment more, still giving the slate-haired teen a chance to take him back if he wanted to. But Zexion said nothing, and Mr. Anderson said nothing, so finally Demyx gave in, taking a deep sigh that he covered up as him stretching. "Alright then, Zexy, I'll go off then. I'll see to come by tomorrow - ah, actually after school this tiiiime!" he added at Zexion's narrow glare. The blond waved. "Good to see you, Mr. Anderson."
"And you," returned Zexion's father simply.
Zexion watched Demyx go, wishing that the blond could stay, that his father would leave... But there was too much that had to be said before anything else could move on.
Mr. Anderson was pacing around the room, glancing up at the streamers and balloons, the flowers and the wrappings from the journal gift. Zexion started then. He hadn't noticed it because Demyx had been around, bringing his scent of citrus and chlorine...but now something smoky pervaded the air. Cigarettes.
The pack that had been left behind all those times. The one Fuu scoffed at, because she knew. Something familiar yet foreign at the same time. The memory of his father, many years back when Zexion was still just a child, coming back inside after a long time to have this exact scent. Then again after Zexion's mother left.
The slate-haired teen thought his father had stopped smoking. Yet now...
Father...do you see it all now, too?
As if hearing the thought, Mr. Anderson's gaze finally focused onto Zexion's, and the two stared off at each other for a few seconds. Mr. Anderson stopped pacing, stopping right at the foot of Zexion's bed.
"We...should talk, Zexion," his father sad quietly, voice low as his eyes became downcast.
One sentence yet it carried so many meanings. Three words and a name yet all held the most emotion Zexion had heard from his father in too long. Much too long. A conversation long overdue. When was the last time they even had something as normal as that?
Sitting up straight, and chin held high, Zexion let out a breath.
"Yes. We should."
Ending A/N: A reviewer pointed out that I'm always saying, "It's close to the end!" when I really keep writing a lot -laughs- I apologize for that. But I mean it this time! Next chapter will be a sort of epilogue and well - that's it for Hybrid Theory! Gah, this fanfiction lasted quite awhile, I can't believe it -rolls around- Since it's the epilogue, it won't be very long, so I'm hoping to have it up quite soon, especially since my Winter Break is upon me -smiles-
By the way, most of y'all probably don't know this, but Fuu's deal with Roxanne is further explained in my other fic Such a Pretty Face (which I'm quite sure I'll never touch again -shot- No, really, please don't read it yet, if I ever decide to revive it, I want to rewrite it allllllll -dies in a pit in writer Hell-)
At any rate, I do hope it all waved together nicely. I would've liked to add more Zemyx moments, but I'll make up for it in the epilogue -shot- And really, thank you all who kept reviewing even in my long absence. It makes me happy to see that this fic gets so much support -radiates anime sparkles- Reviews would mean the world to me!