About a week passes since the conversation with Monica occurred. Ross is out teaching the college students, so it's up to her to make the invitations. She knows that Monica is attending for sure, but she knows how much it would drive Mon crazy if she didn't send her an invitation. Chandler, of course. Phoebe and Mike will, too. But there is one person Rachel thinks she should see in person about the wedding.

Joey.

Will he be okay with it? Will he come? Will he lie and say he's working that day? So many questions buzzed through her mind, and she found herself wanting him to come more than anyone. But...why? Because he's your friend! her mind kept nagging her. She wanted to believe it, just stop all this nonsense and believe it but she couldn't, not for one second. She couldn't because she knew it wasn't a platonic feeling. Did she still have lingering feelings from Barbados?

She pushed the thoughts away as her pen scrawled across the envelope addressed to Ross and Monica's parents, but they crept back in that silent, all-knowing way. Ever since she'd realized she was longing for something more than what Ross could give her, she couldn't get the charming Italian out of her head. Why couldn't her mind stop playing tricks on her and let her live happily ever after with Ross?! Surely since they'd kept attracting each other, over and over again, it meant they were soul-mates. Lobsters.

Her mind flitted through everything they'd been through. The time he'd cheated on her. All the times he'd gotten so infuriatingly jealous of any other guy that wasn't Chandler or Joey in her life, how much it drove her insane. Did she really want to put up with that for the rest of her life? Is this what she really wanted...?

Stubbornly, she told herself yes and sealed the envelope. She sighed, pleased with her work. She was finally done with all the invitations. She sorted all of them into one big pile and sought out the envelope labeled simply Joey Tribbiani from the pile and put it on the top. Standing up from her chair, she headed for the door of Ross' apartment and heard a knock on the door. Just in time!

When she opened it, she was pleased to find their recently-hired new babysitter, who greeted her with a smile. "Emma is asleep in the next room and she's been very cranky this morning. Thank you so much for taking care of her today! I'm sure Ross will beat me back home, since I have to run these errands, but thank you, again." Rachel said, smiling in return and letting the babysitter in before quickly heading out the door.

Once she had reached the post office, which was not far from Central Perk, she pulled Joey's envelope from the pile and shoved the rest into the mail chute outside. She glanced at the cafe just ahead of her, deciding she didn't have time for coffee. Joey should be at home in his apartment, so now was the perfect time to tend to the matters at hand. Off she went, once more, back down the street, and was soon greeted by the familiar sight of the staircase leading up to the apartments.

She hopped up the staircase at a brisk walk, finding a small skip in her step, the envelope neatly tucked under one arm. When she reached his apartment door, she knocked, biting her lip when she remembered the time she had come in tears to ask if she could return to his apartment for a while, following a fight with Ross. From the other side of the door, she heard a muffled, sleepy, "Coming!" She giggled. Of course, he'd slept in late.

The door opened after a moment, and the familiar face peeked around, before none other than Joey raised his eyebrows in slight surprise, opening the door wider, blinking at her in confusion for a moment. "I wasn't expecting you..," he said, pausing to yawn and stretch, "What is it? Is something wrong?" His gaze suddenly turned to concern, but Rachel shook her head.

She held out the envelope. "I wanted to, um, give this to you..in person."

Joey looked from her to the envelope, doing a double-take. He took it from her, opening it and pulling out the card. He read the neatly scrawled writing, eyes flickering, but for once the milky brown, puppy-dog eyes didn't betray an emotion. Or at least, not one she could read. He looked up at her. "Two weeks from now...?"

"Yes."

Joey seemed to consider it. He knew he should be happy for her. She was getting married! Just like the time she'd had Emma. However, he felt a sting on the inside. A familiar longing, and along with it came a familiar hurt. He tucked the card back into the envelope carefully, looking down at the floor as he scratched the back of his head.

Rachel frowned with concern and he heard her step closer, felt a surprisingly cold hand on his shoulder. It's still winter, he reminded himself firmly. He looked up at her questioningly.

"Are you..going to attend?"

Joey swallowed inwardly. "Yeah, of course, Rach!" he said, but it lacked the enthusiasm he tried to create. Concern shone in her eyes and..was that..sadness? He shook the thought away. Of course not. She was happy with Ross. He reached up his own hand, resting it on hers cautiously. "Yeah," he repeated, a little quieter, hoping she realized he was sincere before changing the topic, "Are you..cold? Do you want to come in?"

Rachel stared at him for a minute, eyes glued to his, searching them, melting into the gaze. So full of love and concern. His immediate concern in any situation was always her. Always. Ross had more things to be concerned about, and the days she felt upset, most of the time he didn't notice anymore and carried on, taking the somber way she cared for Emma those days as purely normal. He was delved into his own work too much to notice. But not Joey.

"Rach? You okay?" The question was ushered, more concern gushing in. She snapped out of it, mentally shaking herself. Stop it! Stop it, you're engaged!

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, Joe. I'll come in."

Joey sighed in relief, visibly deflating by a level. He took her hand from his shoulder, leading her in and shut the door behind them. The apartment, as always, was the same as it had been when she'd left it. She had to stop in the kitchen for a moment to feel a loss. She missed living here, so much. She slid into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the calendar and he walked toward the fridge. He glanced at her. "Do you want some coffee or something to warm you up?"

"Uh.." Rachel stumbled, mind racing to pull itself together. She looked him over while she tried to think. Why was it so hard to process things today? She glanced at his ruffled bedhead, brown hair splayed in all different directions. "Do you..do you have any hot chocolate?"

"Of course," Joey replied, heading over to the cupboard and searching for the packets of hot cocoa. He shot a glance at her, noting silently how beautiful she looked, as always. He averted his gaze back to the cupboard, pulling out a pack and searching for a mug. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah..just a little, uh, tired," Rachel replied, faking a yawn. Joey mirrored it with a genuine one, pouring some water into the mug and sticking it in the microwave. He leaned over the counter, meeting her gaze, not looking fully convinced, but he seemed to buy it.

Rachel thought he was just thinking as he looked at her, silent for once, but she realized belatedly he was looking more concerned than when he'd asked if she was cold. "You're getting enough sleep right?" His voice was brisk, worried, and she saw his brown eyes widen when she hesitated. Had she? She couldn't remember. She'd been up perhaps a bit..late..the past couple of nights thinking about the wedding, if she was ready, the preparations..

"Well, I guess I've been staying up later than usual.."

"Rachel..."

"Okay, okay! Maybe four or five hours of sleep. I'm..I'm too excited!" she choked out. A lie, or as of now. When Monica had chatted with her the week prior, she had been happy about this. Why wasn't she happy now? What was wrong with her? The pair of brown eyes flickered, a frown forming on his handsome features, and he reached out, grasping her hand between both of his.

"Have you told Ross? Or is he staying up all night, too?"

"No, he's too busy with work, he's tired by the end of the day." Rachel admitted with a sigh. Joey's frown deepened and he moved away at the dinging of the microwave, signaling the water was done warming up. He poured the cocoa mix in, silent as he stirred it with a spoon. He slid the spoon into the sink, turning back to her and placing the hot cocoa in front of her, taking both of her hands and clasping them around the cup. He kept his hands on hers though, and she looked up, confused.

"Please try to get some sleep." His voice was concerned, shaky, a whisper. She frowned, opening her mouth to say something, but merely nodded, a warm feeling filling up inside her, but she neglected to fight it off for once, and a flood of doubt.

He made her feel so loved, so needed, so wanted. He cared on a level higher than anyone else did, even Ross and her friends, so much he would drop everything for her, no matter what it was. He was the first one at her side when she needed someone.

Did she really want to marry Ross?