I'm standing in the corner of a room I've never been in. By its extravagance, I can tell it's somewhere in the Capitol. There's a knock on the door and Luke comes strolling in and approaches the desk. He doesn't see me. "Ah, Luke. It's nice to see you again," a man says. I didn't see him before, but I see him now, sitting in the chair behind the desk. This must be his office. They talk for a bit, but I can't hear them. I try to move, to walk to Luke, but my feet won't budge.
"She's smart, you know. Too smart." My eyes shoot up to watch the exchange.
"Beca?"
"No, Chloe Beale. She knows more than she should. And she's so young. Filled with so much knowledge, her brain might possibly just explode."
"I don't see why that has anything to do with Beca," Luke retaliates. The man in the chair smirks and opens one of his desk drawers.
"You see, Luke, she's not as innocent as she makes herself out to be," he says calmly as he pulls out an envelope and places it on his desk. Luke picks it up and opens it. His face contorts into confusion as he looks at whatever is in his hand. I can't tell what it is.
"Why are you showing me this?"
"Look closer."
Luke's jaw goes a bit slack then quickly clenches. "That doesn't mean Beca has anything to do with that."
"No, not necessarily. You're right...but you could also be wrong. Who knows, really?"
The man takes the picture out of Luke's hand and tosses it off to side, towards me. It lands at my feet, and I pick it up. It's the photograph of my parents on their wedding day. And there it is, plain as day: a mockingjay embroidered on his suit jacket. It's the same design as the pin Katniss gave me to in a dream. It's the same thing.
But what does it mean?
"Just don't mess with them. Please."
"Please? Is the strong and powerful Luke Remming begging a Gamemaker to have mercy on his Tribute?" He laughs mockingly and gets up from his chair, moving to other side of the desk where Luke is. "My, my, my Remmings. I've heard things about you, things from women around the city, but I never knew they were true. You have been working out lately, haven't you? And that tan. If I wasn't married..." A wicked smile flashes across his face. "No, I'm kidding, but really. Look at you. You know, Snow's interest has only peaked in the last few years. He doesn't like to chase after what he wants, but he will if he has to."
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"We can make a deal out of it. We leave Beca alone. Once she's gone, or crowned victor, you never really know these days, you come with us and let Snow do what he wants with you."
Luke sighs and rubs the scruff on his cheek, frustrated. "Snow can find ways to get what he wants whether you take this deal or not," the Gamemaker reminds him.
"Chloe gets protected too."
"Chloe?" the man quirks a brow. "She's not your tribute to protect."
"Beca and Chloe or neither. Snow will just have to wait."
"Fine. We won't bother Chloe and Beca. But," he smiles, "that doesn't mean other Tributes can't do anything."
"I know." Luke shakes the Gamemaker's hand and turns to walk out.
"I believe a thank you is in order?"
"Thanks," he nearly growls and walks out.
The door slams shut.
My eyes flash open. At first I think it was caused by the slamming of the door in my dream, but once I realize it was probably a cannon that went off at the same time that woke me up. That's the only rational explanation I can come up with until I realize just what the hell I'm doing. Chloe's arm is wrapped around me and I'm practically lying on top of her and the sleeping bag is unzipped and lying on top of us and I'm honestly surprised the closet fits us both like this but that's not really important right now, Beca, what's important is that you're cuddling with another Tribute on TV and all of Panem is watching and what the hell are you doing.
I want to move, but I don't want to wake her up. And, to be completely honest, I don't want to move. My eyes flicker up to her face, which I can only see half of due to our positions. She looks sound asleep, so I lie my head back down on her and close my eyes. I let sleep win this time. Besides, Chloe's kind of comfortable.
"Do you hear that?" Chloe asks as we nibble on the bread in the closet.
"Hear what?" We're silent and listen. There's soft thud coming from outside the closet. "I hear it now."
"Let's go check it out," she smiles at me then stands and exits with me following close behind. We notice three small pebbles on the ground by the wall opposite the window. Another one flies up and hits the wall. We found the source of the noise. Exchanging glances, we both duck down and make our way to the window.
"I saw you," a voice calls out. "Chloe. C'mon."
"Shit," Chloe hisses.
"What?" I hush.
"It's Aubrey."
"What does she want with you?"
"I have no idea, but I guess we're going to find out." Chloe slowly stands and waves to Aubrey.
"Why'd you run off the other day?"
"Tracker Jacker stings didn't seem like the best thing to have. Why do you care anyways?"
"Chloe that hurts me that you don't think I care about you." I, still out of Aubrey's view, see Chloe's fist clench. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"How'd you find us?"
"Us?"
Chloe struggles to find words, "I mean me. How'd you find me?"
"It was easy really. Just follow the tracks. Your sweet, little brunette has big feet." Chloe doesn't know how to respond. "Where is she anyways?" the blonde continues. "Is she there? Or did she die? I bet she died. She seemed pretty weak."
"I'm right here," I say, popping up ad meeting her gaze.
"Beca, what are you doing?" Chloe hisses under her breath.
"No idea," I whisper back. She grabs my hand and interlocks our fingers.
"Beca Mitchell. Finally we meet."
"What do you want?" Chloe asks. "I know you're not here to check up on me."
The blonde laughs. "You know me well, Beale. I'm here to kill you."
"What?" Chloe and I both choke out, exchanging glances.
"Unless, of course, you want to rejoin the career group and then everything will be okay between us. No hard feelings for you running off and joining...her. Besides, don't you want your sword back?" She pulls out a glistening, silver shortsword from behind her back and waves it around slightly. "Why don't you two come down here and we'll talk it over, hmm?" Chloe tells her she has to take a minute to think about it. We both move away from the window to talk.
"No."
"Beca, think about it. All we have to do is join her. We can kill her in her sleep. It'll be simple."
"No. It just doesn't feel right. Did you fail to notice she was alone? Careers are rarely alone. She is planning or has already planned something. I can just feel it."
"We'll be fine, Beca," Chloe tries to coax me into calming down by rubbing my hand with her thumb.
"I just don't know, Chlo'." She ceases movement and grins at me. "What?"
"You called me Chlo'." I can't help but smile at how happy she is.
"So?" I softly chuckle.
"So nothing. It's just cute. Now, come on." She leads me out of the room, down the crumbling staircase, and over to where Aubrey is waiting for us.
"Okay," Chloe says timidly. She's scared, and so am I.
Huffing with a small smile, Aubrey puts her hands on her hips. "What's this?"
"We came down like you asked," I reply.
"I asked for Chloe, not you."
"Well, it's either we go together or not at all." Chloe's grip on my hand tightens.
"Fair enough," Aubrey shrugs. She looks over to our right and nods. Curious, I try to turn my head to see who she was nodding at, but I feel a sudden sharp pain in my gut and Chloe screams, releasing my hand to cover her mouth.
"Wh-" I start to ask, but I look down to see the head of an arrow sticking out of my stomach.
"Don't move!" Chloe warns. I stand there frozen with tears welling up in my eyes. I think I see Aubrey smiling, but I can't tell due to the blurriness of my vision. Looking back at Chloe, I can see the fear in her eyes, absolute, sheer terror paired with tears. I see a dark figure, a blob to me, grab her from behind and she screams, but it ceases with a loud crack. Her body falls to the ground.
"Chloe!" I scream over and over again, but her body doesn't move.
"She's dead, 6," the dark figure says. He moves in closer, and I can make out his face. It's Bumper.
"Why did you do that?" I break down into a sobbing fit, but I try not to let them rack my body too much. It hurts to move.
"This is a competition right?" he smirks then punches me in the face, knocking me to the ground. I yelp in pain, but that doesn't stop him from kicking me in the side repeatedly. Everything starts to turn black and I hear a faint sound in the distance calling out to me.
"Beca! Wake up!"
"Wh-what? What happened?" I look around and we're in the closet and her eyes are staring pleadingly into mine.
"You were screaming in your sleep, but your jaw was clenched shut, and you were flailing a bit."
"Nightmare," I say again with a scratchy voice. "But I'm okay now."
She pushes a few matted hairs away from my forehead and smiles at me. I get lost in her baby blue eyes for a minute until I remember how we're set up in here. I'm still half on top of her. "Um, I— what are—" I stumble over my words, and she giggles at me. "I'm sorry," I end up mumbling instead.
She laughs softly again, "For what?"
"For sleeping on you like this. I don't even remember going to bed." Her smile falters into a look of disappointment.
"You don't remember last night?" I can hear the hurt in her voice.
"No." Might as well tell her now. "Sometimes I have blackouts where I was conscious and did things, but I don't remember them. For instance, the interviews. I don't remember being on stage at all. The first day of the Games, I remember hiding in a tree for a while, and when Jesse found me, he said it had been four hours."
"Does this happen often?"
"It's been getting worse, yeah."
"When did it start?"
"I didn't have this problem, that I know of, before I went to the Capitol."
"Interesting..."
I nod.
"Can you remember what happened after you learn that you had blacked out?"
"Yeah, but it usually has to be triggered by something. For instance, I had to watch my interview on TV to remember what happened and that was a while ago so—" Chloe puts her finger on my lips to cease my rambling. "I don't know if it—"
"Shush."
"But, Chlo', I—" Wait, did I just call her Chlo'? I've never called her that before. She grins and moves her hand to my face, and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "What..."
"You said you need a trigger, right?" She doesn't wait for me to respond and slowly, softly closes the gap between us. It's gentle and welcoming, the opposite of Jesse and my's kiss, if I would even call it that. My eyes flutter closed as my hand involuntarily moves to the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. It feels familiar, like it's happened before. Then it all comes rushing back to me. The sweet smell of peaches mixed with sweat and desire, the taste of her mouth, the all-too familiar sensation of goosebumps rising and falling on my skin, the faint sound of skin against skin, and the heat radiating in my gut, pure desire, something I've apparently felt before, but only with her. Only with Chloe.
We break away. She smiles at me and I smile back because I remember now. "Did we..." I begin to ask, but trail off due to my own embarrassment.
She laughs, "No! We're on TV, Beca!"
I blush. "Oh."
"But you suggested it."
"I did not!"
"How do you know!?" she retorts playfully.
"Because we're on TV and I'm not dumb!"
"Are you sure about that?"
"Stop!" I laugh, pushing her away, but since we're smashed in the closet, she doesn't move and ends up pushing me back. This goes on for a few minutes until both us just end up laughing. "Come on," I smile. "Let's go eat."
"You said the blackouts started around the time you came to the Capitol. What about the nightmares?"
"Yeah, they started around that time too. I think my mind is just in shock or something." I take a small bite of my half of the bread loaf.
"What are they about exactly? Just scary shit?"
I laugh before explaining. "They're more like memories of things that have happened, or sometimes they're like normal dreams that have nothing to do with the past. Like last night I had a dream about my mentor and some weird..." I trail off and reach for the pocket in my jeans with the photograph of my mother and father. Pulling it out, I take a look at it, and sure enough, the mockingjay symbol on my father's jacket is real. I quickly put it away.
"Some weird what?"
"Nothing. It was nothing," I smile at her weakly. She knows it was definitely something, but she simply gives me a concerned nod and continues eating. We eat in silence, just happy to be together. When I finish, I lean into Chloe and she wraps her arms around me, holding me and keeping me warm. I could really get used to this.
We ended up falling asleep, waking up to a light thud. I blink hard a few times to get the tired out of my eyes so they can focus. "What's that noise?" Chloe asks, rubbing her eyes. I freeze and listen hard with my eyes glued to the window.
A pebble flies in and hits the wall.
"This can't be happening..."
"Someone's trying to get our attention." We both stand up. "What should we do?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"I know you're up there!" we hear a voice call out. It's Aubrey Posen.
Chloe looks to me with pleading eyes. "Beca, what do we do?"
"What do you want to do?"
"Can we wait her out? Do you think she'll go away?"
"We'll have to wait and see," I shrug. I'm glad in reality she isn't as eager to say hello to her old teammate.
Aubrey never went away.
"Should we just talk to her? Maybe she wants to say hi or something."
"We've got to do something, I guess. She's been out there for what, like half an hour? I just have a bad feeling about this." It's the truth. My palms are sweaty, I'm nauseous and can't help but feel that the Aubrey from my dream has similar intentions as the one outside.
"Come on, then," Chloe stands up, pulling me up with her, and waltzes over to the window. The two talk a little bit, ignoring me completely, and the same thing pretty much happens; Aubrey asks us to come down and talk with her. But, there's a twist for the reasoning this time. Unicycle, the boy from 2, also known as Sam Evans, was killed earlier this morning. That's probably what woke me up. Chloe's a little devastated, but she tries not to let it show. I can tell, though. The pain reaches her eyes.
With her hand secure in mine, Chloe and I walk down to meet the blonde in the grass. "Do you want to know who killed him?" she asks.
Chloe nods before speaking, "Yeah."
"It was Lilly. She turned on us and killed him. Bumper tied her up back at camp. I figured you'd want to be the one to kill her since, you know, you and Sam were so close." Aubrey's tone is sharp, and it hurts Chloe. I rub my thumb back and forth over her hand, hoping it works to keep her calm.
"Um," she murmurs, turning to look at me with tears in her eyes. "I don't...I don't want revenge," she turns back to face Aubrey.
"Shouldn't Lilly be punished for what she did? For committing murder." The blonde takes a small step towards us. "He trusted her with his life and she broke that trust and took his life. She tried to run away, but we caught her. Don't you think everyone who tries to run away after betraying us should be punished?"
"I—"
"I don't think that logic applies to Chloe now," I say, saving Chloe from stumbling over her words.
"I don't think you apply to this situation," Aubrey replies with ice lacing her voice. "Besides, Chloe is one of us so I don't even know why you're here."
"One of "us"? You and what army?"
"This army, bitch!" I'm knocked down by a large boy, Bumper would be my guess. He pins me down and punches me a few times, drawing blood by the second punch. I can feel the warmth trickling down the side of my face.
"Beca!" Chloe screams, but only once. I struggle to look past the blurriness of my vision and the swinging fist to find Chloe lying on the ground and being lifted into Aubrey's arms. A solid hit to my temple knocks me out, the image of Chloe's unconscious face is the last thing I see.
"Is she dead?" My eyes open to a near-squint. Anything more hurts.
"I think so." The world is spinning and everything is hazy.
"Did you hear a fucking cannon, because I didn't!" I recognize the voices: Aubrey and Bumper. My eyes close once again, and when they open, I'm being dragged across the blurry, green grass.
"Stupid bitch," I barely hear Bumper mumble. My weak eyes fall closed once again.
My hand immediately cups my face. "Fuck," I hiss, feeling the bump on my cheek bone. "Oh, fuck, my head!" Moving my hands to massage my forehead, something which oddly always helped my headaches, I manage to open my eyes. I'm in my room, the safe room, the ex-safe room now, slouched against the wall. Did Bumper put me here or was that just my imagination?
Looking around the room, it feels so much emptier than usual, and I can't place why.
Chloe's gone. I completely forgot.
Slowly standing up, I make my way to the window. It's not much brighter or darker outside than it was about the time Chloe was kidnapped. Good.
Practically tearing Jesse's bag open, I dig around for the only knife I have left and shove it in the back of my pants. I have to do this. This is the only way I can be sure she's safe. I have to do this. But, I'll be pitted against a bunch of careers who are better than me at everything. I don't know if I can do this. Chloe needs me. I have to do this.
I can't lose her.
I can't just walk away and pretend she never ran into me that day. I can't just act like I never felt anything for her or cared about her. I can't just let her die.
"You're strong, Beca." I shake my head. "You are."
"But Mommy, being strong for Daddy won't bring him back."
"No, Hon, but do you believe he would want you to be sad? He would want you to be happy and laugh again. He loved hearing you laugh." She squats down so she could be at eye level with me. "Do you remember the name of the metal Mommy loves to use at work?"
I don't see why she's talking about this right now, but I answer her. "Titanium."
"That's right." She smiles at me, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "And do you know why I love working with titanium?" I shake my head. "It's because it's strong. It's malleable and durable. It can be pounded down to a flat sheet and still be stronger than half the other metals in the world. No matter how many times you hit it and distort it, Titanium is always strong." She tilts my chin upwards so my eyes are looking into hers again. "Honey, look at me. You have to be strong, okay? You have to be titanium, okay? Together, we can through this, but you need to be strong." I sniffle in response. "Okay?"
"Okay."
She called me Titanium from that day forward whenever she was upset. At first I thought she only called me that when she was missing my father, but as I grew up, I realized the strength she got from me was utilized for any different things. She wasn't always sad about my father. She had a stressful job with long hours spent far away from me with little pay. There must have been lots of things causing my mother pain throughout the years, but I was too young to see them, and I have forgotten most of those years.
Titanium is malleable and can be shaped tons of different ways to accommodate different situations. This is one of those situations. I have to be strong and save Chloe. I have to at least try.
By the end of the day, I manage to find the career camp located in a small building on the outskirts of the arena. Perched in a tree, I watch the guard outside until they leave their post to go around the side of the building. I take this chance to leave the tree and run in, knife in hand, on high alert. There are a few rooms inside the building and after searching the first two, I hear a soft snore and follow it. I'm led to a small room with sleeping bags lying across the floor. One is occupied by none other than Aubrey Posen.
I could slit her throat right now and be done with all of this. It'd be so simple. I could just stand over her unconscious body and, with one quick motion, take her life. I'd sit on her chest so she couldn't get up, and I'd cover her mouth so she couldn't scream. Super simple.
I can't do it.
I go as far as standing over with a knife clenched in my hand, turning my knuckles white, but I can't just kill her. I need answers. Chloe deserves answers.
Opting for interrogation, I straddle the sleeping blonde and put my knife to her throat. "Wake up." She stirs a bit under the cold of the knife paired with my words, but doesn't wake up. I repeat my command, but get no response. Sighing, I lightly smack her face. "Get up."
"Hmmm?" she hums. Her eyes open. "What the fuck?!"
"Don't speak a word unless I prompt you with a question. Nod if you understand." She nods. The words feel so wrong leaving my lips, but I need to be strong. I can't let my true feelings show.
"Why did you kidnap Chloe?"
"We need her."
"You don't need her. You seem perfectly fine without her. In fact, you wouldn't be in this situation right now if you just left her alone. Why did you really take her?"
Tears well up in the green eyes pinned below me. "I need her."
"Why?"
"Just because...because she's someone whom I can trust. You understand, right?" With her life hanging in the balance, Aubrey looks so...innocent. She reminds me of Jesse even though she's nothing like him. They have different hair color, eye color, height, skills, anatomy, Districts, etc., but they're so similar; it scares me. Aubrey's bottom lip is quivering and the tears are running down her face and splashing against the concrete floor. She looks so vulnerable, so child-like. It makes me second guess my actions.
"Yeah."
"I know it doesn't make sense, but I just need her," she says without permission, but I let it slide because this is just wrong. I can't kill. I'm not a murderer. Why am I doing this? Why are we here? Why is President Snow doing this to us? We're just children. We don't deserve this.
"Please," she sobs. "Don't." I look down at my hand and find it's trembling. It's hard to swallow and I'm sweating even though it's cold enough out to see my own breath. I can't do this.
"If I let you live, you let Chloe and I go, and you and the careers don't bother us ever again. Just let us be and you'll live. We'll stay out of your way. Do we have a deal?" My voice comes out more confident than I feel. I know this treaty can only go on for so long, but any time is better than none.
"Deal." I get off of her, and she smiles out of relief. Standing, she holds her hand out to me. We shake hands, sealing our deal.
"Where's Chloe?"
"Next door over." I head for the door. "Beca," she says in a quiet yet sincere voice. "May the odds be ever in your favor."
"The odds are never in our favor, Posen. We're Tributes." She nods with a quiver of her bottom lip. I leave her and quickly enter Chloe's holding quarters.
"Beca?" she cries, looking up from the floor at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen.
"Come on, let's get out of here." I sever the strips of t-shirt used to create cuffs to set her free. She wraps her arms around me, and I smell peaches again. I just want to stay like this forever, but we have to move now before Aubrey changes her mind.
"What about Aubrey?"
"She won't be bothering us anymore."
"She lied to me. Unicycle is alive. I saw him," she chokes out.
"We need to go now, Chlo'." She pulls back and nods at me, sniffling. I place a swift kiss on the end of her nose and she giggles. I missed that sound.