It had been a long time since Lero had been on a roller coaster, but there were only two things he'd ever really disliked about them. The first was long lines. The second was the short duration of the rides themselves: just a minute or so of thrilling twists and turns, then, bam: 'Thank you for riding the Screamin' Demon, please exit to your right.' There was a trivia book he'd read once which said the longest roller coaster ride ever ran for a little over four minutes. The adult in Lero knew that this was quite an impressive feat. But the wishful child in him had always secretly dreamed of one day riding a roller coaster that went on even longer.
Lero didn't know WHERE Dash was getting the boundless energy from, but he could hardly be happier. Rainbow Dash seemed pretty much dead-set-determined on being every roller coaster he had ever ridden on, in his life, and then some... all in one go!
She corkscrewed. She looped-the-loop. She barrel rolled. She cobra rolled. She bobbed and weaved zigzags and serpentine patterns up and down through the air at an ever-increasing speed! Best of all, she did things roller coasters weren't even capable of.
She whirled around a cloud, faster and faster and faster, compressing it into a tight, tight ball. She kicked a lightning bolt out of another grey cloud, and then nosedived to outrace it to the ground. The lightning bolt barely beat her, but she pulled back up into the air at the last possible nanosecond.
It was magnificent. Dash knew exactly what she was doing; at no point did Lero ever get motion sickness. The ride was just as fantastic three hours in as the first minute. What was more, at no point did Lero ever truly fear for his life; it was pure exhilaration without ever being scary!
Dash paused to regard a particularly huge and towering cloud.
"Hang tight, big guy!" she crowed, and launched herself at it. She cycloned around the immense, formless monstrosity at her fastest yet, again and again, cutting around it and into it in erratic unpredictable patterns. It was all Lero could do to cling tightly to her neck and squeeze his eyes shut... until he felt that she'd stopped moving.
"Whaddaya think?" she asked him proudly.
Lero opened his eyes. The cloud statue Dash had sculpted was as big as that of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial. It showed Rainbow Dash, herself, rearing up on her hind legs, grinning cockily. A pose worthy of a superhero comic's cover.
Lero whistled in awe. "That's the finest pirate ship I've ever seen!"
"PIRATE SHIP?!" Dash sputtered.
Lero laughed and ruffled his lover's mane. "It's beautiful. You make a first-rate cloud, Rainbow!"
"I can still buck you off," she said, finally settling down upon a flatter, puffier cloud, with a yawn. "And now I'm totally bushed."
Without even really thinking about it, the two of them shifted position. Dash rolled over upon her back, and Lero lay upon her. Chest to chest. She hooked her forelegs around his shoulders, hugging him to her while shutting her eyes with a dreamy smile.
Sweat beaded on Lero's head. "So, uh, do you want to... do it?"
"Mmmm... nah," she answered.
"Why not?"
"Well, you don't have a cloud-walking spell cast on you," she breathed, still smiling, still not opening her eyes. "So when you pull your pants off, stud-muffin, they're gonna fall aaaaaaaall the way to the ground. And I'm not gonna go fetch 'em for you."
"So what do we do here?"
"We shut our eyes and take a little nap together on this cozy little cloud."
Lero took a nervous look over the side of their cloud. "Dash... we must be hundreds of feet up from the ground, and your body's the only thing preventing me from falling! What if...?"
"You won't fall," she promised.
"But...!"
"Ssshh," she whispered, kissing his face. "Let me be your hammock. Let me be your safety net."
He felt her wings enfolding him from behind, blanketing him. He sighed.
"If you drop me in your sleep, I'll haunt you forever."
"Mmm-hmm." She pressed against him all the more snugly, as though he were her favorite teddy bear. "Shush now. Sleep with me."
The sunlight on the back of his head was warm. And so was Dash, underneath him...
The dreams Lero had on that cloud were a surreal collage of mishmashed random weirdness. Same as every other time he slept, really.
His first dream was most vivid. Lero dreamt he was being born. The OB/GYN was pulling him out of his mother. He reached towards his mom with his tiny infant hands, wailing. But the OB/GYN was a unicorn. His mother was a unicorn too, while his dad was a pegasus. Even though they were ponies, Lero still recognized his parents for who they were supposed to be. His mom levitated a blanket around him, and nuzzled him lovingly with her snout.
Then the dream skipped forward to the day of his eighth birthday. Lero went from room to room of his house, playing and socializing with his classmates and friends. They too, were all ponies. Unlike the ponies of Equestria, everypony on Earth was fully clothed... even down to hoof-shaped sneakers on their hind legs!
Lero would've loved to have seen what his friends' cutie marks were, but there was no hope of that since they were all hidden under everypony's pants or dresses. Every so often, somepony would ask or joke about his humanness, but all in good fun.
He peered into the kitchen. There was his mom, putting the finishing touches on his birthday cake. Only it wasn't JUST Mom; other mares were assisting her. His... herd-mothers! He recognized Sheila Winslow, Mom's all-time best friend she'd had since her high school days. Mrs. Yates, their friendly next-door neighbor, (or would she be 'Mrs. Michaelides,' in this reality?) And even... was that pegasus Vivian Danielson, Mom's supervisor from work? Mom had LOATHED this woman with all her heart. Whenever she and Dad discussed her at the dinner table, she'd always refer to Miss Vivian as either a tyrant or a demon.
Lero watched Mom steal a quick, deep kiss with Miss Vivian when they thought all their herdmates' backs were turned.
"Cut that out, you two!" Mrs. Yates scolded, with a soft kick to both of them. "There are FOALS, here... eight-year-olds! We'll all have PLENTY of time for that tonight!" Then she noticed Lero. "Oh, hey, sweetie, why don't you go get your friends together at the dining room? It's just about time to bring out the cake!"
So he did. His mothers placed a paper birthday crown on his head, and set the cake on the table: it was shaped like a roasted pig. There was even a real apple in its jaws. Everypony sang Happy Birthday for him, he blew out his candles, and the cake was sliced up. He dug in. Flowers, sugar cubes and hay had been baked into his cake, and his ice cream tasted like a salt lick.
The other dreams went much quicker. He was playing Street Fighter II, only the fighters had all been replaced with Sesame Street characters. He picked Count Von Count, and K. Elmo by spin-pile-driving him into the floor, Zangief-style.
Then he was in a tavern, trying to wrench a bottle of absinthe from Absinthe's mouth. "I'm SUPPOSED to drink this!" the colt insisted, drunkenly. "Look!" And the colt showed him an absinthe bottle on his flank.
Then he had a rather terrifying dream about returning to the World-Before-Equestria. It nearly woke him up.
Then Lero dreamt he was in a zoo. All the bars on the cages melted away, and the animals rushed out ferociously to attack him all at once, so he fought them off with a hunting rifle. He'd gunned down a jaguar, two toucans, and a dingo, when a weird-colored cloud floated above his head and showered acid upon him. So he ran for all his worth.
Then he was in a chapel, wearing a white tuxedo. Ponies on the bride's side, ponies on his own side... an Earth pony priest up at the altar but... hold the phone! The bride... the bride was human! Lero ran up the aisle to have a look at her. Yes, a woman. Her figure was so beautiful and shapely! He reached to pull the veil off her face.
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
"Lero?" Dash's voice called out to him. "Listen carefully to me. Don't move a muscle, but I want you to open your eyes."
He did so.
"I dreamed of you," said Dash, stroking his hair softly with a hoof. "Did you dream of me?"
"...Yes," he told her. It was a much easier, more romantic answer than the truth. (Why did all the truly bizarre dreams never feel strange during the dream, itself?) He looked past their cloud. "Where exactly are we, anyway?"
Carefully, Dash rolled over on her stomach, so she could see the land beneath them, right-side-up.
"Oh, it looks like we're right above the Bramblewood Forest. It's a good ways east of Ponyville."
"Bramblewood Forest, huh?"
"Yeah. You see all those huge ugly brown things that kinda look like dead trees? Down there, and there and there? Bramble bushes."
Lero's eyes widened. "Holy... it's kinda hard for me to judge from way up here, but those look to be the size of full-grown redwoods!"
"Yep. That's how big they grow, 'round these parts."
Lero caught sight of a railway track, and his followed it to what looked like a town, near the horizon. "What's that, over there?"
"Oh, that's Bramblewood Town. Minotaurs live there, as well as a lot of ponies. I don't visit there often."
The human glanced over at the sun, which would soon be setting. "Do you think we can pick up a quick dinner there?"
"In Bramblewood Town? Not the most romantic place for a meal, but okay, sure, if you're hungry. Hop on."
So Lero climbed on Dash's back, and she sprang off. A few seconds later, the large bird collided headlong into Lero's face.
Spike was wiping down the glass display case which housed the Elements of Harmony, first with a wet rag, then a dry one. When cleaning this display, he always went a little slower than he did with the rest of the house, just for the sake of marveling at the Elements.
A red lightning bolt. A blue balloon. An orange apple. A pink butterfly. A purple diamond. And the majestic star crowning Twilight's tiara. Like cereal marshmallows, only shinier and crunchier.
There was a tiny part of the dragon - a little devil on his shoulder - that had always secretly wondered what these one-of-a-kind gems would taste like? And would they give him superpowers? Like, if he were to eat the Element of Laughter, would he become funnier? Would Magic make him a wizard-dragon? Not that he had would ever seriously go and do it! The Elements of Harmony were what made Twilight and his friends heroes, one forbidden fruit Spike was happy to leave unpicked. Princess Celestia had been right to trust Twilight Sparkle with them, and Twilight trusted him, and he'd rather die than betray either one of them and leave the world open to the next Discord-level monster.
Smiling, he finished cleaning the glass, and was moving on to another countertop when Twilight entered the room, levitating the book the Princess had mailed to her.
"Okay," she told herself, with a deep breath. "I think I'm ready. Wherever Dash and Lero are, they ought to be far enough away, and if I procrastinate any longer, I'm never going to get it done."
Spike folded his arms peevishly. "Hey, how come you're fretting about Dash and Lyra and Lero being 'far enough away,' but ME being in the danger zone is all hunky-dory?!"
Twilight beamed down at the little guy with absolute sweetness. "Oh, Spike, you're taking this entirely the wrong way. The reason I want you here is because I trust you more with this sort of thing."
"Really? You mean that?"
"Of course! I love Lyra, Lero, and Dash with all my heart, but you've been my number one assistant from the beginning! You're the one I want by my side when strange magic is involved! With a spell like this... if something should go amiss, especially to me... I feel confident knowing you're there for me, Spike!"
Proudly, Spike puffed his chest, arms akimbo. "Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's do this thing! Er... one second, though."
The baby dragon dashed out the door, then zipped back in wearing an army helmet and pillows roped around his body.
"Okay! Let 'er rip!"
Twilight flipped Starswirl's ancient spellbook to its final page.
It had flown into him too fast - a feathery blur - for Lero to identify what kind of bird had struck him. Could've been a duck, could've been a goose, could've been some completely different magical Equestrian bird that would've been right at home in a Dr. Seuss book.
Regardless, he was knocked right off of Rainbow Dash.
It took a moment for the pegasus' brain to register that the weight of her stallion had left her back. She turned around, watching the love of her life plummet toward the ground. His arms flailed; he was screaming.
She screamed louder, a great, long horrified, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" and dived after him to save him.
If she'd been going fast before, goofing around and showing off with barrel rolls and cloud-sculpting, it was nothing compared to now. Her wings beat for everything they were worth! C'mon adrenaline! she thought. Give me everything you got! Her lungs burned. Her wings shrieked in agony. She ignored everything but Lero.
At first she sought to calm herself: Don't panic, Rainbow! You've done this before, remember? With Rarity? You'll do it again here, too! Just push it to the max, give it everything you got, and you'll Sonic Rainboom Lero right outta danger!
But hysteria overwhelmed her in seconds.
No, no, no! This can't be happening! Why aren't I catching up?! Please, Celestia, I gotta save him, I gotta! I'll never ever forgive myself if... oh, Lero, Lero, Lero, LERO, LERO, LEROLEROLERO...!
"From one to another,
Another to one,
A mark of one's destiny
Singled out alone, fulfilled."
Rainbow Dash's cutie mark vanished from her flank, leaving it completely bare. Instantly, the pegasus' heart and mind went utterly, utterly blank. Eyes wide, but not truly seeing anything, bereft of any emotion. The pegasus' body slowed to a complete stop. She was now more or less just... suspended there, in midair, like a hanged criminal from a noose.
Lero's jaw dropped in pure unadulterated shock as his body disappeared into a tower-tall mass of brown brambles.
Thirty seconds passed. And then, a trio of pink butterflies appeared where there has once been a rainbow-colored thunderbolt bursting from a cloud.
"My animals..." she murmured; a toneless, deadened sound.
And she flew off westward, towards Ponyville, at a tepid speed.
"Did anything happen?" asked Twilight. "Anything whatsoever?"
Spike looked around, at himself, at Twilight, and all around the room. "Nothing I can see."
"Huh. A dud spell, is it? Well, Princess Celestia did say it was unfinished. Probably needs... something-or-another. Think I'll go research it a bit in the library."
Spike yawned. "Think I'm gonna hit the hay, myself."
When she sighed in disappointment, the young dragon patted Twilight. "Hey, look on the bright side, Twilight! At least nothing happened. Could've been an Equestria-shattering kaboom!
"Don't even JOKE about that!"
When the trio of diamonds faded off Rarity's body, it was like a puppet's strings were cut. The fashionista fell face-forward against the side of her own sewing machine, and just remained that way, unmoving, until the mark which had vanished from Rainbow Dash's flank reappeared on her own.
Her head lifted back up. Rarity's eyes were vacant. Unblinking.
"My stallion..." murmured the unicorn, in a very faraway voice.
Like a sleepwalker, she turned from the sewing machine. Surprisingly, as she was passing by her vanity, her body jerked to a stop. She stepped up to the vanity, regarding her reflection hollowly. With robotic precision and lack of ego, she proceeded to restyle a small swatch of of her mane into a little braid. A perfect match to that worn by Lero Michealides.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
Rarity heard pounding on the front door, downstairs, and proceeded towards it. Not for the pounding's sake; she simply happened to be heading there, anyway.
BANG. BANG. CRACK!
A pair of back hooves kicked a hole through the front door. Any other day, Rarity might have screamed or fled, or shouted threats at the intruder. Instead, she merely remained where she was standing and unlocked the door with her magic.
The door opened to reveal Applejack. Despite the fact that she'd been in the middle of breaking and entering, there was no anger or hostility or alarm or anything whatsoever on the Earth pony's face. The emptiness which sat in Applejack's eyes was the same as that in Rarity's own.
Both of them walked forward. Their shoulders bumped against each other, their sides slid alongside one another like two pieces of wheeled luggage at a train station. No words were spoken.
While Applejack ascended the stairs, towards the room with the sewing machine, Rarity stepped outside, and set off in an eastwardly direction.
Lero coaxed his eyes open, taking stock of his new surroundings.