4

Tony doesn't tell the team.

He plans on reading all the research and figures he might tell them later, if he feels like he needs to share, but not now. He would confide in JARVIS if – he would. But.

So he spends all the way back to New York trying to figure out a convincing lie. It proves to be quite challenging because there aren't many explanations that would sound plausible and that wouldn't provoke unending questions – explaining at the same time the secrecy and Maya's life story of disappearing for years.

'Maya wanted to tell me about a biological weapons they've been working on,' Tony tells the team in the end, when they are sitting together in the evening, watching international news via cable and eating random foods instead of a proper dinner for once. 'I told her to keep it safe and out of the way of everyone, we are not going to release another Ebola or something, there's enough mess with what we already have to deal with.'

'That's all?' Steve asks, sounding remotely disappointed. Apparently biological weapons are something he doesn't even consider special, who knew.

'Pretty neat I must admit,' Tony says around a spoonful of rice, congratulating himself internally on coming up with a story that is mostly true – not in detail, but the general idea pretty much describes the real deal.

And as far as Tony can tell, he won't be using Extremis and that makes his words the truth, not a lie.

'So, what have you guys been doing when I was away?' he asks, glancing at everyone around. They all seem pretty tired.

'We were sent to a couple of public meetings, of all things. You know, heroes helping with the morale and stuff,' Clint replies with his mouth full of cereal. Some time ago Tony would've been surprised that someone eats ever weirder things than him, but now everyone is used to Clint's quirks. He keeps saying that they come from his circus times and Tony takes his word for that. 'It was terrible. I mean, we did great of course, but everyone is so fucking scared and confused and the government doesn't do nearly as much as it should to calm those people down, we're not enough.'

'The problem is of course that the conflict is with someone from the outside, but the enemies are everywhere – might be everywhere,' Natasha adds, eyes fixed on the screen where a news presenter is saying something about a series of shooting in Japan, but there was no alien tech involved this time, just people killing people, it seems.

'We're supposed to go to a meeting the NYPD tomorrow,' Clint adds, licking the sugary crumbs of Cheerios his fingers. 'Do pep talk and stuff. Non-negotiable. Mallard insisted you come since we told him you went away for SI business for a few days.'

'I have SI business now –'

'It's just two hours, Tony. Pepper will understand,' Bruce cuts in, his voice calm. 'Two hours isn't that long.'

'I don't know if they'll enjoy my charming personality –'

'Tony,' Bruce sighs, rolling his eyes.

'You know I'll come and play a good boy,' Tony replies. 'I always do, so please let me at least complain a bit, it makes me feel better.'

'It makes everyone else feel annoyed,' Clint says. Tony makes a face at the archer and gets up.

'Well, if you don't wanna my company, I'll just go to the 'shop now. I'm a bit behind now with the projects for this week, thanks to the short vacation. I won't see you anytime soon, so bye,' he adds and disappears in the elevator, his plate half-full of risotto in one hand and a mug of tea in the other.

It's pathetic how much he hopes JARVIS will speak to him each time he enters the workshop, and how he can feel his eyes getting wet every time it's only silence to greet him.

They do go to the NYDP and talk to the policeman for almost two hours, replying to questions – as if they were really experts that they are not – and giving advice. Tony makes a point of behaving responsibly and limiting his jokes to only a few, acting exactly as grown-up the situation calls for. Steve seems very proud of him.

It's easier for him to just laugh things off, but he knows that most people would consider the way he behaves inappropriate. As soon as Tony gets back to his workshop, the telephone rings – his personal one that a very few people know the number for, so he picks it up, hoping to finally hear Rhodey's voice.

'Hello, Tony,' someone says and a shiver runs down Tony's spine as he recognizes the soft dangerous tone.

'What the fuck do you want now?' he asks, not bothering to be anyhow polite. He's not in the mood for games at all – and he had a feeling that the one they're already playing is only going to accelerate.

'How unkind of you,' the man chuckles with amusement. Tony fights the urge to throw the phone across the room, but he knows the man is not going to give up if he wants to give Tony a message.

'Okay, Steven,' Tony says after taking a deep breath and sitting down in his armchair. 'What can I help you with this time?'

'This I like much more,' the Emperor's voice sounds genuinely happy. It's so creepy how he seems to be – a nice person. Probably looks nice, too, and only when he speaks his mind you can figure out what a fucked up individual he is. 'I wanted to congratulate you on your pep talk. It was very motivating indeed.'

'You were listening,' Tony states; somehow he's not that surprised.

'I have an access to all public places via webs of interactive devices you people placed everywhere. They are most useful, I must admit.'

'And yet you don't want anything like that to exist on the Earth –'

'I don't. It's only a means of getting where I want to get. I will not shy away from using technology to achieve my goals, and then you'll be very eager to get rid of it all yourselves. And I will just sit back and observe.'

'So you're gonna rule the world?' Tony asks, because he hasn't gotten a straightforward answer to that question yet; the man choosing the name Emperor for himself doesn't have to mean ruling the world automatically.

'Oh no,' the man laughs, confirming Tony's thoughts. 'I'm not some kind of a tyrant. I'm here to show you misguided people what you should do to preserve your species and when you understand that, you shall be allowed to govern yourselves –'

'You are mad, aren't you?' Tony cuts in, because he's heard that part already. And he's read it in the letters the Emperor sent to the President.

'Tony, Tony, Tony – you are clever enough to understand me, don't pretend you're not. I know you have the capacity to understand that the world can't continue like this because it's going to end in a disaster.'

'What disaster, exactly? You keep saying that word, you keep saying preserving human species, so would you mind sharing what was so traumatizing that happened to you in your future that made you come back and butt in?'

'No, I don't exactly want to talk about it,' the man says firmly, his voice gaining an angry undertone for a moment.

'Did you lose your girl? Or your boy? Or someone else? It must have been a bit thing, to make you so desperate – and, by the way, what's the deal with your name?' Tony adds quickly, asking the question that was unanswered the previous time .

'I hope you realize I have no intention and no obligation to answer your questions, Tony. I told you all you have to know.'

'So, you really find people that dumb to believe in your preaching about technology being the end of the world?'

'There are many people who were thinking that before I came here,' the Emperor explains, talking as if Tony was a five-year-old. 'And I said already that you make things worse – you have a lot of enemies, Tony.'

'Please don't tell me Justin Hammer is working for you,' Tony says quickly, feeling panic steadily filing his body, as he says the calmest words to match the man's tone. The Emperor laughs.

'I'm not dumb,' he says in the end. 'Well, I could chat with you for a long time – you are quite amusing, Tony, more amusing than I've expected – but I just called to congratulate you and your team on your good job. Have you told them we've talked yet?'

'It doesn't –'

'I thought so,' the man states. 'You did very well, so now we can bring things to the next level. I can't wait to see you coming up with new ideas.'

'New level means?'

'Ah. That would be too easy if I gave you a hint. I hope you'll have fun,' the Emperor says and hangs up. Tony stares at the receiver in his hand as if it was an alien object.

So, the madman has an idea for a new level and they have already been at disadvantage. There are no words to express how Tony hates that man.

The next day Tony goes to a board meeting at SI with Pepper and he even pays attention to what is being said. They old men keep insisting they want weapons. Tony keeps telling them that no, there won't be any weapons. SI is going to keep focused on producing the defense items because they actually work and help people without adding more death to the confusion.

The thing is: Tony doesn't mind creating weapons for himself or his teammates because he trusts them to use the gadgets wisely. He can't trust whoever would get his guns, if they were mass-produced, because not everyone has the soul of a superhero with superhero moral compass inside. And that's not to mention all the other possible issues.

Pepper is supporting Tony firmly on this, repeating, like the team, that Tony is making the right decision.

Tony goes back to the tower, leaving Pepper in her office, with Happy and her security team nearby. As soon as he manages to get to the penthouse, he understands that something is happening: the team is suiting up in the living room, exchanging quick hushed voices.

'What's going on?' he asks, taking in the mess in the room.

'We were training – and Bruce was making lunch – when we got a call from Mallard telling us to get to Queens ASAP. There was a shooting and a few people died, they don't know how many yet, and something is still going on there.'

'When did he call?' Tony asks, already making his way toward the workshop where his suits are.

'Maybe five minutes go.'

'We're taking the Quinjet,' Clint adds, checking his quiver for the last time.

'I'll follow you,' Tony says before disappearing inside the elevator.

It takes him three minutes to fly out of the 'shop and follow the Quinjet to Queens. He can see from the air what is going on: it looks like there is a group of a few dozen Emperor's goons randomly shooting at normal people – who are taking cover but don't run away and try to fight back as much as possible. No police at the scene, just people versus people – and it's a very unmatched fight.

Tony is the first one down on the ground level, firing from his gauntlet repulsors straight away, bringing down a few unprepared men, the rest of them hides behind a few cars that are on fire in the middle of the road. Tony orders the civilians who've been fighting to go, eyes on the cars.

'You did a great job,' he says loudly, observing the suit sensors telling him that the rest of his team is approaching, 'We'll take it from here. Get somewhere safe,' he adds and fires again, as soon as he seen one of the Emperor's men peeking from behind a car; the man falls to the ground immediately.

Tony hates killing people, but he's not going to stop himself from doing that as long as other people's lives are at stake.

He can hear people running and shouting behind him while he acts a bit like a live wall, guarding the wide street.

The team is there in a moment and when they are all together, it's a matter of minutes before all of the enemies are incapacitated – a few of them killed. Nine, to be exact, and seven others that were killed by the people they attacked before the Avengers arrived.

Seventeen civilians are dead, too, and it makes Tony feel sick.

'The Avengers saved the day once again, preventing the Emperor's soldiers from killing more people and creating more destruction – given their numbers, the death toll could have been much higher. We need to learn the bravery from our heroes and confront out enemies –'

'Shut the hell up,' Tony murmurs, switching the TV off.

That's what happens when people try to be heroic: they die.

Tony wishes no one would try to follows the Avengers' example and fight, he wishes they'd all just run and hide and let others fight. It's impossible because the six of them, and even the police, can't be everywhere at once.

Tony still hates the war-talk encouraging people to give their lives away.

The Emperor's people seem to lay low for the next few days. There aren't any fights in the streets, maybe a random shooting or two but it's very little compared to what's been going on before.

Mallard calls, telling the team up that they did a good job. Steve, who picked up, tells them the general sounded less angry than normally and Tony wonders if it's supposed to mean something. There isn't a meeting though, since the general is taking part in an intensive training for new soldiers with former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, trying to teach the young people within a month what the agents have been learning for years.

Since the team has no activities scheduled, they take their time to train, do some old boring team bonding and rest as much as possible.

It feels surreal, eating homemade burgers and salad and jell-o for dessert while watching movies. It feels surreal knowing that there's a war going on somewhere, even if it's a calm day, that amidst the tension of the global conflict there is place for something as mundane as food and sleep, as mundane as spending a calm afternoon with friends.

'Tony, where are you?' Pepper's voice asks, slightly distorted by the telephone, a few days later.

'Workshop. Finishing the installations for repulsors in the new Mark, why?'

'Turn on the TV, or better yet, the radio. Please,' she adds, and even Tony, who can be really terrible when it comes to reading people knows that she's distressed – that's not enough. She sounds as if she was on the verge of breaking.

Tony takes a deep breath and walks up to the radio on his stiff legs.

'I'm safe,' she adds more softly. 'I have to stay here, but I'll come as soon as possible. Call me later – I won't hold the line.'

She hangs up before Tony can respond, and second later he turns on the radio to hear this:

'… a series of bombings all across the country – and a few abroad, too – firefighters and police are at the scenes, we're being assured, but the number of dead is not yet estimated, we only know that we can expect the numbers to reach hundreds –'

It feels as if Tony's heart stopped for a moment, and then it starts beating fast and furiously; he turns off the radio and runs out of the workshop. It takes him two minutes to get to the penthouse where he expects to meet everyone.

They are all there, except for Thor.

'New Mexico. He went to fetch Jane and bring her here, period,' Clint supplies, noting Tony's questioning look. They are all staring at the TV screen, divided in four smaller parts and showing four different places at once.

'What's happened? Pepper's called and told me to turn on the radio – they said something about hundreds of dead –'

'Seven bombings in the USA, four more abroad that we know of,' Natasha supplies, keeping her voice in check.

'They were all research facilities, Tony. All the dead people are scientists, interns, students, staff,' Bruce adds, watching Tony closely. Tony takes deep breaths, trying not to repeat the Emperor's words in his head, trying not to hear the new level said in that soft nice voice again and again. It's not working, because how the hell can they even dream about coming up with something to match the Emperor now?

They stay in the room for some time, saying nothing, just listening to the voices in the TV reporting more and more information. No one mentions dinner, not even Steve.

In fact, Steve seems to be most shocked from all of them, despite having taken part in a war. He's probably remembering everything vividly – but he's not going to share, Tony knows. He and Cap are similar in this, they don't share.

Mallard calls a few hours later and tells them a lot of details that weren't disclosed to the public, and some that will be shared with the world later.

Two hundred ninety three people dead in the USA. One hundred thirteen in the other attacks outside of the country. A few missing people that might be found underneath the rubble but no one knows for sure.

'The President wants to meet with you, Stark,' the general says, having asked Steve to talk with Tony himself. 'Tomorrow evening. You'll come with me.'

'Do I have a say in that?' Tony sighs, knowing the answer already. Mallard's response is silence. 'Okay. Where and when?'

'Tomorrow in front of the usual place, 1300 hrs. We'll drive.'

'All right,' Tony manages to say before the man hangs up. 'I need to go to the President again with them, tomorrow,' Tony tells the team before disappearing in the workshop. He doesn't plan to get any sleep.

At 0600 hrs Tony can't ignore the hunger in his gut, it's distracting him from work too much, so he goes to the penthouse to get himself something to eat. It's been twenty hours since he last ate and he'd really like something filling right now.

Of course Steve is there, in his workout clothes, drinking a smoothie.

'Hey, Cap,' Tony greets the man, his bare feet making funny sounds on the marble floor. 'You up long?'

'Since four – did you get any sleep? You look awful.'

'Always the charmer,' Tony laughs, peeking inside the fridge. Scrambled eggs with something extra inside sound good, so he starts to take out the ingredients on the counter, feeling Steve's stare on his back. 'I need to finish assembling the newest suit,' he says, as if trying to explain himself. Steve only hums in response.

'Mind if I turn the radio on? Maybe they'll say something –'

'Yeah, sure, Capsicle,' Tony says, taking out a pan. He's learned some cooking since the team moved in. It felt strange, alternating between green watery shakes and fancy order-in food while the others would make real food for themselves. Pepper seemed really happy the first time she saw Tony making himself something humans should eat.

'There has been another incident at night that we have been just recently informed of,' the speaks says, and Tony freezes, waiting for the rest. 'It was believed that the Emperor, residing in Greenland, has limited technical possibilities and that belief made the government and NASA sure that the ISS is off limits. Unfortunately we were proven wrong –'

'What?' Tony asks, suddenly forgetting the eggs and the pan, taking a few steps to get closer to the radio almost unconsciously.

'– it seems that there was an explosion, we cannot be sure given the lack of the communication with the station, but a strange light was observed at night in the spot where the ISS should have been. The astronauts are presumed dead –'

That's the last thing Tony hears before he's overwhelmed by a sudden memory of the blackness and the moment he was sure he'll die, floating somewhere in the outer space; he can imagine perfectly the astronauts' dead bodies floating around the earth, amidst the blackness, with no possibility of reaching them, and he suddenly can't breathe, the bomb hitting the Chitauri ship flashes in front of his eyes and God, he can't breathe – it's hasn't happened in months, he's been fine, he's been okay – he slumps down, feeling the cold marble under his body through the thin clothing –

'Tony?' he hears Steve's voice, as if from far away.

'Steve, I – I can't – I don't –'

'Calm down, Tony,' the voice says, now much closer. 'Can I touch you?'

'Yeah, I –'

'Hey, calm down. Breathe. Don't talk,' Steve commands, his voice steady, putting a hand on Tony's shoulder. 'It's okay. Right? We're just having breakfast. It's okay. You're in your kitchen.'

'… right,' Tony mumbles, trying to follow Steve's orders. It's hard, the images don't want to leave his head but – but Steve's right, he's here, those people died and it's terrible and scary but he is here, not in the void. Here.

'Good, great, keep going on like this, Tony. You're doing good,' Steve keeps talking, not moving away an inch. It takes a few moments, but Tony's breaths eventually go back to normal and he manages to focus on something different than the black starry sky under his eyelids.

'Has this happened before?' Steve asks and Tony almost feels like panicking again, but he manages not to. It has, a few times. Not too many. A few. JARVIS knew, JARVIS and Rhodey. It passed, eventually, months ago, or so Tony thought.

'… yes,' he says in the end, flinching away from Steve's touch. Steve gets it, takes his hand away and moves away. 'After the Chitauri, you know, after the whole wormhole business and nearly dying –'

'Oh,' Steve breathes, and then says, 'okay. I get it.'

Tony looks up to meet his eyes.

'Cap, I'm okay, all right? It's – the news, and, ugh. I was taken by surprise. Won't gappen again. Yeah. Thanks for… helping me out,' he adds, slowly getting up. 'So, I'll go now –'

'Won't you eat anything?' Cap calls after him, his soft words echoing in the room.

'Not hungry in the end,' Tony shouts across the room, ignoring the worry in Steve's voice.

Tony sneaks out of the tower, carefully avoiding Cap, and gets to the War Division HQ at time. Mallard shows him the car without greeting, Tony gets in, the general follows, and as soon as the doors are closed, the chauffeur drives off instantly.

Tony likes Mallard a tiny bit more by the time they reach D.C. because the three hours in car pass without a single word said.

There is the President waiting for them, accompanied by Richard; as soon as Tony and Mallard get into the room and sit down the doors are closed and Tony raises an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

'I want you to reconsider your decisions about making weapons, Mister Stark,' the President says lazily and Tony really wants to bang his head against the shiny table in front of him. 'But hear me out before you make a rushed decision.'

'All right, go on then,' Tony says, crossing his arms on his chest.

The president talks and talk and talks, Tony wonders if the man will ever stop because it's pretty pointless. None of the arguments are going to make him reconsider producing weapons. None.

'Did you drag me all the way from New York just to hear an answer you've already heard?' Tony asks when the man finally falls silent; at least Tony learned a few interesting details of the recent events that haven't been released to the media. Non that it's a big help – the Emperor seems to be a few good steps ahead all of them – but it's something.

'We received a letter,' Richard says, taking an envelope out of the suitcase in his lap. 'From the Emperor, yes. He says he hopes we like the new entertainment and that we'll come to our senses and follow his orders.'

'He won't stop killing people.'

'He will stop killing random people. He'll still kill. It's not something we're willing to agree to.'

'Good,' Tony says. If the government agreed to a planned extermination Tony would consider making weapons. Or just one weapon, a bomb. And drop it on the White House, he'd find a way.

'He also asked us to say hello to you,' Richard continues, twisting the paper in hands. 'Why is he so concerned about you specifically, Mister Stark?'

'Ooh, so it's about that,' Tony sighs, ignoring the tiredness creeping up on him. 'I have no answer for you other than that he's apparently figured out that if he wants to challenge smart people and the futurists of this planet, he has to come to me at some point.'

'No other reason? Are you sure?'

For a brief moment, under the inquisitive stares of the three men, Tony wonders if they know something more, if they know that the Emperor contacted him, if they know that Tony is antagonizing the man – but then he stops. They don't know. It is private, that part of the game. More fun that way.

'I am,' he replies.

'I think that's all, Mister Stark,' the President says, standing up, and everyone follows his suit.

'By the way, is Rhodey around somewhere? I wouldn't mind seeing him –'

'Colonel Rhodes is not around at the moment. We are relocating him to Arizona tomorrow.'

'You are relocating Rhodey to Arizona,' Tony repeats, trying to get how this is supposed to make sense, but it doesn't. 'Why?'

'He is needed there. We have enough security in D.C. already,' Richard replies flatly. 'I believe we are done here,' he adds and Mallard nods at him, heading for the door.

Tony follows, ignoring the urge to ask so that's it? – that could mean conversation with the general, and the man is much more bearable when he's silent.

They get back to NY late at night and Tony manages to avoid meeting anyone on his way to bedroom; he hasn't slept for a pretty long time and it feels like the bone-deep tiredness can help with not dreaming.

In the morning no one has time for Q&A time because there is a signal that some fighting is going on in Manhattan, just a few miles from Stark Tower. The team suits up and goes to help. There are more of the Emperor's soldiers than before.

Then it repeats. At least once a day there's something going on and gets more and more serious. The Emperor's people seem to be everywhere, growing in numbers quickly – and none of them hesitates when they are shooting.

Pepper closes down all the SI facilities that are not essential, including the New York HQ that mostly deals with paperwork and legal aspects of the job; it's simply too dangerous to force people to go out of their houses, especially that the Big Apple seems to be the most dangerous zone; in other areas there less attacks. It's probably some kind of the Emperor's jokes about Tony and his stuff, because he's always considered New York his place and the man seemed to know that.

There is little time left for leisure and rest now, especially for Tony; he cannot stop doing his SI work or finishing his and the team's weapons. He can't afford to skip training's either, so he tries to balance all of the activities, squeezed between actual fighting.

It's two weeks before things go south.

Natasha gets hurt during a fight. An unfortunate accident that would have never happened if they could get enough sleep and rest and if they were a bit better informed; the communications really sucks at this point and they never know how many of the Emperor's people to expect, the reports are always off. This time, there were almost twice as many as they've expected.

So, they fight and Natasha gets hit by the blue gun. She falls, Clint almost panics, Phil is confused, and Tony has to figure out a pretty neat and dangerous maneuver to retrieve her from the battleground.

They win the fight, but there are dead people, and Natasha, hit in her leg and with a nasty wounds, is benched for a few weeks at least. If everything goes okay, she might go back to training – not actual fighting – in a month and a half.

She absolutely hates it and Tony understands that perfectly. At least Pepper staying in the tower and working from her makeshift office there helps a bit; Natasha can occupy herself with helping Pepper to pass the time.

But it means the team is a person short, and there are more and more of the enemies everywhere.

Two weeks later during another fight Tony loses control of his suit and almost crashes the ground. The system manages to reboot after a few failed attempts and he narrowly avoids becoming a human-vibranium pancake.

He doesn't know why. He can guess, but he can't be sure.

'This is too dangerous, Tony,' Steve says, sounding angry and anxious at the same time. 'I can't let you get into the suit when something like that might happen anytime.'

'You can't bench me,' Tony snaps, unscrewing a piece from the suit with more force than necessary. 'You don't have enough people. Besides, we don't know what caused it.'

'I think we both know –'

'I'm going to fight, Cap. Whether you approve or not,' Tony cuts it, taking off one of the arm plates to adjust wiring underneath.

'… I was afraid you'd say so, Tony. I hope you'll stay safe,' Steve says before leaving the workshop. Tony ignores the feeling of guilt for making Steve sad like that – but he can't just sit back in safety and have others fight his battles. If he doesn't risk, people will die. It's an obvious decision.

There is another series of bombings ten days later. Almost four hundred dead.

SI closes even more factories, leaving only a few of them operational, and no one is forced to work. Pepper takes care of it, Tony has millions of things to think of, but he knows that much: everyone who does come to work every morning despite the danger, to help producing items that keep people safe – safer – is a hero.

That thing with the suit happens again.

In the evening Tony's personal phone rings for half an hour before Tony loses patience and pulls the cables out of the wall.

After a month and a half Natasha does go back to training, but it's slow and painful and she hates it even more than not doing anything. Tony sacrifices a few hours of sleep every night to go down to the gym with her to repeat the PT exercises he does during the day, he handles her tea and tells her endless words in a loud voice to distract her from the pain.

At least two months before Phil will let her go back in field.

She grits her teeth and swears it'll be a month.

Two weeks later Tony is called away from a board meeting that takes place in Stark Tower.

'We've got an emergency,' Clint says and Tony nods, following the archer without asking questions.

There is a fight. Tony has hard time comprehending everything that's going on around him; he knows that they are so fucking outnumbered this time. It's never been that drastic before.

'People join in for the promise of no harm to them or their families,' Steve tells Tony when they're fighting together. There is NYPD and the S.H.I.E.L.D.-made War Division fighting with them, but it's a tough match.

Steve is only partially right, Tony realizes not much later.

At least half of the people they are fighting are remote-controlled androids.

Tony can't believe this is really happening.

They win, but Tony refuses to call it a victory because too many good people are dead.

He's so bruised and sore afterwards that he can hardly walk.

Natasha is still healing, Tony rests as much as possible, trying to give his beaten body as much time off as possible – as do Phil and Clint, the two other full humans – while Steve, Bruce and Thor train. Bruce lets the Hulk take over and train with the other two; it works surprisingly well.

Then three things happen at within 24 hours:

Tony falls down in the suit. Really falls. Not from very high, apparently he's not supposed to die yet. It hurts.

One of the Stark International facilities is bombed in the next series of attacks. It's one of those that were shut down, so it seems pointless to everyone but the few people who know to read it as a warning, or another step in the game. Pepper cries so much but she's more angry than anything else.

There is a fight – Tony refuses to call them battles – in New Orleans. The Avengers can't get there on time 'cause they're fighting in New York. Tony sees the shaky footage later in TV: he can tell the attackers were all androids.

If only he had JARVIS, they'd take control over the androids –

If only he had access to all his programs –

If only he could fucking hack the systems –

– then he remembers something, something Maya said a few months ago: I believe that it would enable a brain to process information at light speed and pick up signals that are out of our reach now, and then: you get a supercomputer for a brain.

Oh. Oh.

He calls the number she scribbled on one of the files with Extremis research and waits for her to pick up, his heart beating furiously, as if he was a boy before his first date.

'Yes?' he finally hears her hushed voice and breathes with relief.

'How sure are you of your conclusions regarding how Extremis will work on human brain?' he asks without wasting time on polite greetings. If he understood right, he's one of a very few people who know that number.

'As sure as I can get without actually seeing it work,' she replies, a bit more confidently. 'Are you –'

'There is only so much I can talk about via phone,' Tony cuts in. 'But we're not going to win this way. We. Are. Not. I need – I need everything I can get. I know what you hinted at when you invited me to visit you, that I'll be able to make use of what the Extremis does to a human. Not physically, but mentally – and I know you were right. He took control of the suit, made ma fall. Captain's not letting me back in field for now and I can't just sit back, for God knows how long. I can't.'

'Okay, so,' Maya says slowly, prompting him to explain himself further.

'How long is it going to take?' Tony asks, feeling a shiver run down his spine.

A second before she picked up he wasn't sure he wanted this, but now there's no backing away.

'Four days, five max.'

'I could do that,' Tony decides, flipping through a calendar Pepper insists he keep to see if there is anything scheduled, but there is nothing. Understandable, people are too afraid to leave their houses. 'I'll be there the day after tomorrow. Be ready.'

'I will,' she assures him. Tony hangs up.

Then he goes to where the bots are charging, pats them on their sensors before sitting down between them, and talks to them until he falls asleep.

'I'm going to Arizona in the evening' Tony announces at breakfast, ignoring all the startled stares. 'I want to see the factory.'

He doesn't have to add which one, everyone knows too well.

'Tony –' Steve starts, but Tony doesn't let him speak.

'I'll do that whether you let me or not, Cap. Again. I understand what I didn't let you say, but I need to see what is happening there in person.'

Pepper doesn't say anything.

'When will you be back?'

'In five days – I want to go to the two facilities nearby that haven't been shut down. I need to talk to those people. If anything changes, I call you. I'm taking a jet and yes, I'll have two security men with me. Not more. Two is enough.'

They all nod and resume eating; Tony ignores the half-secret stares skillfully.

'I'll be worried,' Steve tells Tony when they're leaving the kitchen to go to their respective rooms.

For a fraction of second Tony thinks about telling Steve – telling someone – but he doesn't. He just smiles apologetically and runs up the stairs to get to his bedroom and pack his bag.

Maybe it's wrong and naïve, but he trusts Maya enough not to tell anyone – he does check if a letter – a real letter, honestly – he wrote some time ago is still where he hid it. For someone who can die on a daily basis it'd be stupid not to have something like that, just in case.

Before leaving, he kisses Pepper in the forehead, shakes their hands and salutes the whole crowd that was waiting in the penthouse to say goodbye to him. He hopes it's not the last time he sees them, hopes so much it aches, but – it must be done.

He arrives at Maya's lab at 0800 the next day. His security guys are enjoying a short holiday in one of Midland's hotels; they know better than to question Tony. They also probably think that he's off to see a girl or something similar, but he doesn't mind, as long as he's left alone.

'Do we need to do anything… before?' Tony asks as soon as they are inside. The interior looks the way it did before, only more dusty.

'Not really,' she says, leading him to an area underground that looks actually inhabited. 'I'd like to run a few test though, so that we can compare your results before and after – for the sake of science,' she adds, choosing – on purpose, Tony is pretty sure – the words they used to say to each other when they did some crazy illegal experiments back in MIT.

He leaves his things in a small room, part of something that looks like leaving quarters, and follows Maya into a training room.

'There are two sets of exercises – physical and mental. I thought we could start with physical.'

'Just tell me what to do,' Tony replies with a tight smile, and they begin.

After the tests they eat lunch, and Maya explains how the Extremis procedure will look in detail; Tony wishes she wouldn't do that over food because hearing expressions like body like an open wound and like a cocoon around you aren't good for his appetite.

It all sounds a lot like a story out of the X-files, and yet somehow it'll become his own life soon. It's a bit creepy.

'I was wondering,' he says when Maya is cleaning the table. 'What about the arc reactor? I'm sure you've read all that's been published about it, about its purpose. Will it be – expelled, by my body? When it heals up? Any thoughts?'

'I'd say it depends on how the Extremis will perceive it – as a weak point, as something to correct, or as an asset, given that it powers your suit and keeps you alive, at least for now. It might also depend on if the shrapnel stays in your body or not, I can't predict what'll happen. Might be expelled, might be somehow incorporated and changed into tissue, might stay the way it is… Not enough time to ponder about this, I'm afraid.'

'Yeah, okay, I expected it to be the case,' Tony admits, getting up and stretching his back. 'So, that's all? I'm ready now?'

'Yes, Tony – I'll need you to take off your shirt, okay?'

'I bet you've been waiting for this moment ever since the last time we had sex… wait, when was it, '87?'

'Please do not remind me how good you were back when you were still underage,' she replies with a small smirk and gestures at him to follow. 'But yes, '87.'

'A few years before you disappeared from the face of the world.'

'You'll see it was worth it,' Maya says with an air of confidence. She's always been as sure of herself as she was clever, one of the reasons she and Tony kicked off instantly and understood each other really well. They both know they have the reasons to be as proud of their creations as they are.

A moment later they reach the room Tony recognizes from her description before, with a fancy examination bed he'll spend the next three days on, hooked up to various monitors for as long as the Extremis allows. He undresses like he's been told to while Maya disappears behind a door.

'If something goes wrong, I'd like you to call someone all the tower and tell them to search my bedroom thoroughly, okay? I left them something. You don't have to explain anything just tell them that, can you do that for me?' Tony asks her when she comes back into the room.

'Of course, Tony – but there will be no need.'

'Your certainty is very uplifting,' he chuckles, laying down on the bed. Maya talks a few minutes to hook him up to the machines and nods to herself with satisfaction when everything seems to be working perfectly.

'I need to tell Extremis what to do now, exactly, okay?'

'Go heavy on the techno bits,' Tony says, smirking, and watches her fingers dance over the keyboard. 'That's what I need most – but you're a smart girl. You know what to do.'

'I try,' she replies, eyes fixed on the screen. It takes her a few minutes to get the Extremis programmed and when she's done, she hooks a glucose IV.

'Good luck,' he says, eying the syringe in her hand.

'Good luck to you,' she replies with a smile and sticks the needle into Tony's arm.

It doesn't feel like three days, Tony is unconscious most of the time, and when he's remotely aware of what's happening, all he knows is pain.

It stops all of sudden, Tony regains consciousness within a short moment and the first thing he notices is how easy it is to breathe; he's forgotten how easy it can be to breathe.

'Tony?' he hears Maya's anxious voice and forces a smile onto his face. It feels strange, as if he was exercising a set of unused muscles, but it passes quickly.

His hand touches his chest quickly, searching for an answer to the big question – the reactor is still in his chest, untouched, but it feels… okay. There's been a slight discomfort present all the time before, since his body healed around the casing, but now it doesn't feel like an alien object inserted into his chest.

It takes him another moment to sit up, and just the he realizes that he hasn't opens his eyes, but he knows everything that's going on inside the room anyway – his brain is hacking the lab's sensors and cameras. He knew it was going to happen, in theory, but it's incredible to actually experience that – incredible and confusing, there is so much information pouring into his brain, all at the same time, and it all gets sorted and stored automatically; it seems to be done unconsciously.

'Tony, are you all right? Talk to me, please,' Maya says on his left.

Tony opens his eyes to meet her stare, sits up and stretches his back.

'It worked perfectly,' he says with a lazy smile.

'Everything?'

'Everything,' a voice replies through the rooms speakers, while Tony keeps his mouth shut and keeps his eyes fixed on her.

It's amazing to have a heart beating so strongly, so regularly – it feels like he can rely in it completely for the first time in almost five years.

'We need to repeat the tests now, if you're feeling okay –'

'Sure thing,' he replies lightly, jumping off the bed; his body feels stronger, easier to control. Better. Foolproof. All the tiredness he's been nursing for the last few months, since the war began, is gone, there are no traces of bruises, cuts, scratches he was covered with when he came here – all the scars are gone, too, he notices a moment later when they're walking into the test room, seeing his reflection in the glass door. The reactor is embedded smoothly in his body, the pink scarred tissue that used to be around it is gone.

The tests take much less time than before, even though she conducts a few additional ones; Tony's Extremis-enhanced self is better, faster, stronger.

'You're a genius Maya,' Tony tells her, kissing her on cheek. 'This is – uhm, I need to get more control over what my brain is doing because for now it's a crazy amount of stuff to process, but I'm sure it won't take long, and then we'll finally have a source of information about the Emperor's actions – I know for sure he uses the web and the satellite signals, so I'll have insight into everything he does – it's perfect. It's what we needed – thank you,' he says, pulling her into a hug and kissing her again. She chuckles and kisses back. 'You're a genius. You've just helped make a giant step ahead in saving this fucking world.'

'You better thank you genes for being a combination that let the Extremis work,' Maya replies and pulls away. Silence fills the room for a few moments.

'I'll go soon,' Tony says finally and Maya nods.

'Don't you want to rest, or anything?'

'I haven't felt this rested in ages,' Tony laughs lightly, following her into the quarters where he left his things. 'I just want to take a shower and I'm out of here – are you staying?'

'I have to keep an eye on the Extremis, of course I'm staying here,' she replies, taking a towel out of a shelf and throwing it at him. 'I work all the time. Time passes quickly.'

'If you say so – let me say I admire your commitment,' Tony tells her before disappearing in the bathroom. He spends more time observing his new spotless body than actually showering, but he'd be a fool not to. If someone doesn't look closely, they won't notice the subtle changes that can be spotted.

The most important changes are invisible.

'Stay safe,' Tony tells her when he's getting into the car and Maya's standing in the doorway, looking pale and flimsy in the strong Texan sunlight.

'You too – and you better hurry with bringing that madman down, he's done too much damage already.'

'I'll try,' Tony assures her, closes the door behind himself and drives off.

As soon as Tony gets to the penthouse he knows something is wrong.

He spends the whole flight marveling at how his brain is working with the Extremis enhancements – he can literally see all the plane's parameters that the pilot is controlling in front if his eyes, as if on display, and it's so easy to comprehend them all at once, to understand the mixed signals, his mind processing the information quickly.

It's as amazing as it is confusing, Tony decides. It's going to take him some time to get used to how he's functioning right now – and make full use of all his new abilities.

But when he steps out of the elevator it's more of a gut feeling than anything Extremis helps him notice.

'Tony?' Bruce's voice carries across the room and Tony makes his way to the kitchen quickly.

'What's happened?' Tony asks, taking in the view: Bruce, Natasha, Steve and Pepper are sitting around the table, looking exhausted and just sad. The TV is on but the words of the speaker are barely audible; Tony doesn't have to look at the screen to know what's being shown on the channel that's on – or any other, they're all at the same time inside Tony's head, a mix of voices and images that are almost too many to follow. Almost.

'We were in a fight,' Natasha says, her voice unusually subdued. 'Well, I wasn't, I won't be in field for another week at least but – Clint was hurt. Phil was hurt a bit when he was getting Clint out of the mess.'

'Oh,' Tony just says, running one hand through his hair. 'Are they all right?'

'They'll be back here at 1900 hrs,' Natasha offers.

'You're interested now?' Steve asks at the same time, disappointment clear in his voice.

'I called all the places you could have gone to,' Pepper adds, giving him a long look. 'No one knew anything about your supposed visit, Tony. I was – I don't know what to think about it.'

'Don't you trust me?' Tony asks before he can stop himself, wishing immediately he kept his mouth shut. It's just that the constant buzz in his head is – distracting. And the restlessness in his limbs.

Things he'll have to get used to.

'I do – we do, Tony, but I just wanted to tell you what's happened. And then we learn you didn't even go where you told us you were going, and two of your teammates – of your friends – were hurt…'

'I get it,' Tony says, looking at his hands in his lap. He hates when Steve look at him like this.

'Can you tell us where you went?' Steve questions; Tony can feel Cap's eyes on him. 'Not as a confession, I – we were just wondering, you know. What's worth that much risk, travelling cross-country while the war is full-scale all around.'

'I hope you know I have no obligation to tell you where I am every second of every day and I can do whatever I want to do,' Tony says and takes a breath, trying to sort out his messy thoughts and figure out how to tell them what he and Maya have done without making them completely mad at him. 'I'll tell you because I want to, but it's – a long story, okay, Cap? I swear I was just trying to do the best thing possible and yes, I told you I was going to visit SI plants because it was a good excuse and – can I tell you when Clint and Phil are back? I don't want to tell the story twice and I don't want anyone to miss any details or anything. It's pretty interesting. Wait those few hours and we do one of those team thing you like so much?'

'Okay, Tinhead,' Steve replies, deliberately using the nickname Tony hates. 'A meeting at 1900 hrs then, all right?'

Everyone nods and gets up. Tony walks up to the fridge to get himself something to eat and Steve puts a hand on his shoulder as he passes.

'You look… rested,' he states, his blue eyes fixed on Tony's face, making him wish Extremis would let him read people's minds, too. 'Good to see that for once. And I'm still angry at you for being irresponsible,' he adds and disappears.

Tony grimaces, putting a chicken sandwich on a plate and turning around to see Bruce standing in the middle of the room, staring at the TV.

'Brucey? Sweetheart?'

'Don't you try your nicknames, Stark,' Bruce says, rolling his eyes. 'We were worried, you know. Angry at you – but worried, too.'

'Hey, I –'

'You can be still pretty dumbs sometimes, for a genius,' Bruce adds, ignoring Tony completely, and a second later the phone calls. Bruce picks up and says it's General Reuben. Tony raises and eyebrow and takes the speaker; Bruce grabs a glass of water and promptly leaves the room.

'We have a few technical questions for your regarding you work for the army – could you come by the usual place at 1700 hrs today?' the man's rough voice asks, Tony's brain picking the words out quicker than they're transmitted. Ugh. Not nice.

'Does it have to be today – and just me?' Tony asks, the words slightly indistinct because he's talking and chewing his sandwich at the same time.

'Yes, today – and it's technical questions, so I think you're the only one who can give us answers anyway.'

'Yeah, okay, I'll be there. You better have some coffee for me though,' Tony replies and hangs up. He should get there and back no problem before Clint comes home with Phil at 1900 hrs; he decides to fly in one of the suits – it's safe now and it'll be quicker. Who knows what can happen in the streets.

When he walks into the meeting room Avenger's part of the War Division always uses, there is no one inside. Tony, for once, isn't late – he's even five minutes early, believe it or not – so he figures the general will come in a moment. There is coffee ready on the table though, so Tony sits down, slouching in the chair, and takes the cup in his hands.

In the whole building there're no cameras he could hack to see where the General is; it makes perfect sense. Tony disabled all cameras in the tower, too, knowing what the Emperor could possibly use them for.

He takes a sip of the coffee, vaguely noting that the flavor is terrible – of course they'd offer him the terrible army brew, those crudes, right? – and then the world spins.

Waking up this time is much less pleasant than after the Extremis, mostly because Tony is terribly confused; there's a multitude of signals in his head, he can't recognize the place he's in, it smells strange, there is a lot of white noise around; his body feels stiff and strange and it shouldn't –

– and then someone speaks up, cutting through all of the sensations and letting Tony focus on the words.

'Good afternoon, Mister Stark, how nice to see you again.'

Tony recognizes the voice instantly.

'I'm afraid I can't say the same, Richard, dear,' he replies and opens his eyes.

A/N: Thanks for reading, I'll be very thankful if you let me know what you think! :)