Thor wakes up to the sound of the hoover going, and jumps up with a start. His alarm clock shows it's 9:30, and he's overslept by an hour and a half. He bolts down the stairs two at a time and bursts into the kitchen, but Loki's not there. The sound is coming from the lair, so Thor goes in there, apologies flying from his lips.
"Loki, I'm so sorry, I overslept, and I forgot to set the alarm last night and-" But Loki cuts him off with a wave of his hand.
"It's fine, really. Gives me a chance to get the hoover in here undisturbed," he says gently, laughing at his brother's mildly dishevelled state. "Go get some breakfast, and if you want to help, check on what dad's doing." He returns to his work, so Thor goes into the adjacent room to make himself some more toast, too tired to be more creative. When he's finished he goes back to the lair and strips both sofas of their covers and shoves them in the washing machine in an attempt to clean them. He sticks some more toast on a plate and carries up the stairs to his father's room. Odin is sprawled out on the bed in the same place they left him the night before, snoring softly.
"Dad?" Thor says as he knocks on the door, doubting it will wake Odin up. He puts the tray on the bedside cabinet, cleaning away the three cans that are there with a gentle sigh. They once tried to stop Odin from drinking in his room. It didn't last for long.
He looks into the en-suite and is glad Loki sent him up to feed their father - his brother would probably throw a small fit if he saw the state of that bathroom. Still, Odin's room is the once place they completely respect as his own, and they only ever go in when they have to. Sometimes he will make an effort to clean up, but it usually results in him needing his sons to help, and while they do their best, it is something that's impossible to tackle. Trying to tidy Odin's room is like trying to ask him to give up drinking.
Thor heads back down the stairs with the rubbish and throws it out, emptying the washing machine and hanging the cushion covers out to dry. Loki's finished the hoovering by then, and he's cleaning the ornaments. Thor comes in to find him carefully dusting a picture of the four of them from when Loki was six and he was eight, when they'd gone on a trip to Marwell Zoo, back when they were still a family. It makes Thor's heart constrict.
Loki looks up at the clock. "I suppose we better tackle the kitchen," he says, putting the photo back where it came from with care. Thor agrees and goes through, rummaging through the cupboards for the Flash and the bleach. The hob is a mess of dried spills, crusting in a coat of orange and brown spatters from at least a week of careless cooking. Loki clears up the rubbish and puts what edible food there is away. He's glad Monday is bin night, since with the amount of rubbish they've discovered lurking in and around their home the big bins need emptying.
Thor's scrubbing away at the hob with the Flash, the scent of lavender filling the room and making them both a little lightheaded. There's some ham in the fridge so Loki makes them both sandwiches and feeds bits to Thor as he works, and gradually the white enamel of the original surface becomes visible. It takes twenty minutes, but Thor manages to do it, and then he rinses it down until the water runs clear, and finally they've finished the first step.
It takes the rest of the afternoon, because they do an extremely thorough job, but they finish the kitchen, and with a quick hoover of the hall the ground floor is completely clean.
"It's almost not our house anymore," Thor says, laughing. "It's too clean. Quick, go get some of the rubbish and put it back, it's making me uncomfortable."
Loki thumps him on the arm, looking decidedly unimpressed at his brother's antics, but slowly he smiles back. It's a tired smile, and it makes the shadows under his eyes stand out a little too much, but it's genuine, and it makes Thor feel warm inside. They go to sit in the living room, being careful about how they sit so as not to ruin their handiwork from the day before. Loki reclines back against Thor, closing his eyes. They're both exhausted, and it's not surprising considering the work they've done.
"Do you want to take Monday off?" Thor asks, squeezing Loki's fingers.
"It would be nice," Loki responds sleepily, squeezing back. He knows they shouldn't skip school, but considering how exhausted they are they could do with the break. The entire weekend has passed and they haven't even started on their homework yet.
"OK. I'll phone us in sick in the morning, say we both caught some stomach thing." Thor runs a hand through Loki's rapidly lengthening hair. "You should cut this," he says. Loki hums quietly.
"I kind of like it."
"Do you actually though, or do you do it because dad wouldn't like it if he could see straight?"
Loki sticks his tongue out but doesn't respond, pulling Thor's hand away from his hair instead. "How much homework do you have?" He wants to take a bit of a break, for once. They both deserve it. But Thor is in the year above now, and he's nearing the end of his GCSEs, so he has a lot of work to do.
Thor knows his brother inside out though, and he can see what Loki's asking. "Enough to fill the morning, but not much more. But we need to do the shop. It's not much of an outing, but it's the best I can do this weekend." Loki nods, but he's still a little disappointed. How long have their lives been ruled by chores? He can't remember, but he knows there's no use being ungrateful. Thor is doing his best, and Loki can't ask for any more.
"I'm going to give dad some more food," Loki says, sitting up and stretching. "And then I'm turning in." He goes into the kitchen and makes a couple of sandwiches and a cup of tea, putting it on a tray and carrying it up the stairs. Thor stays on the sofa for a few moments more, watching his brother leave with a slightly sad expression on his face before getting up himself. He sluggishly pulls on his pyjamas in his room and cleans his teeth, popping by his dad's room to say goodnight. Odin is chewing on the food Loki brought him and smiles in response, but it's soon replaced by a grimace as his headache surges again.
Loki goes to his brother's room once he's ready for bed and stands in the doorway. "Night," he says softly, and Thor opens his eyes from where he was dozing with the light on.
"Night," Thor replies, and he flicks the switch off. Loki steps forward into the room and rests a hand on Thor's shoulder. It's not often Thor beats him to bed, but when he does it reminds Loki of just how vulnerable his brother still is. It's just short of three years until he becomes an adult. They've been going for two and a half together now, keeping each other and their father up with just their bare hands, but often Loki wonders how long Thor will cope with this. He smoothes a thumb across a shadow beneath his brother's eye and smiles sadly through the dim light.
Loki has never hesitated to show his feelings, and there have been plenty of occasions in the past when he's run away, or thrown a tantrum because he's frustrated that their father can do nothing and he almost blames himself for Frigga's leaving. And through it all Thor was there for him, holding him when he cried, scouring the streets in the small hours to look for him, and taking his blows without complaining once. Loki wonders where he puts it all, his hurt and his upset, but he never finds out. He wants to help Thor, but that is one part of his brother he knows he will never find, and it frightens him.
"Night," Loki whispers again, kissing Thor's brow and shutting the door. He climbs into his own bed and hums himself to sleep, thinking about everything except the tear he'd seen crawling its way down Thor's cheek.
.
In the morning, Odin goes to work on time for once. Loki wakes up and the first thing he does is check on Thor, but his brother is already awake and making his way to the shower. Loki goes downstairs instead to make breakfast, deciding to slap together some pancakes with what he can find in the fridge for a change.
"Mmm, they look good," a voice says from behind his ear, and he feels arms go around his shoulders.
"Thanks. They probably won't taste that great - there wasn't much to work with." Loki rests his cheek against Thor's and closes his eyes.
"It's not toast, so I'm sure it'll be great." Thor suddenly grabs the pan when it starts hissing and pulls it out Loki's hand so he can toss it, catching it again and grinning. Loki narrows his eyes.
"That was my job! Usurper!" He hits Thor with the spatula but laughs any way, dishing the pancake up and handing it to his brother. "Your task is to find something to put on it."
Thor begins to rummage through the recently tided cupboards for something to eat as a topping and finds the dregs of a pot of Nutella, some sugar and some jam. He's hoping for multiple pancakes, so he starts off with jam, smearing it on thick and rolling the pancake up to cram it in his mouth. Loki cooks himself one, turning around to roll his eyes at Thor stuffing his face. "At least try to start the day being civilised, please," he chides, finishing off cooking his own pancake and putting it on a plate. He pulls a face at the thought of jam and instead sprinkles some sugar lightly on his meal, cutting it up with a knife and fork.
"Being civilised is for the idle," Thor responds, hastily cooking himself a second. They finish by eating three each plus one shared, and both brothers are impressed by how much they got out of so little mixture. Thor straight away afterwards goes to the front room to do his homework, not emerging for three hours except for a couple of biscuits and a cup of tea. Loki also does his work, but he's more restless, and it takes him much longer to do less.
They break for lunch, and then Thor decides it's time to go shopping. He's phoned the school in the morning, so they're free for the rest of the day without having to worry about anything. At the supermarket they dash around as fast as possible, looking for all the bargains - Odin's meagre income only goes so far, and neither Thor nor Loki have managed to get a Saturday job yet. A little girl stands in the chocolate aisle pestering her mother for an enormous bar of Galaxy, and the poor woman is nodding and putting it in the trolley. Loki watches with a combination of envy and disgust. He remembers doing the same to his mother, but she'd always refused. Now branded chocolate is something they have to avoid unless it's on offer.
At the checkout, Thor is glad he looks older than fifteen, because if he couldn't pay with Odin's credit card they'd have a lot of problems. He enters his father's PIN in quickly, and then he and Loki carry the shopping home as best they can between them.
That evening they eat dinner as a family, and Odin joins them for once. He's been drinking, but he's not overly reactive. Thor has made spaghetti carbonara, which is one of their father's favourites. This time Odin remembers to put his can in the bin, which makes Loki smile, but when Thor goes to thank him he raises an arm and glares, and Loki sees Thor visibly recoil.
Odin shuts himself in the lair straight away after dinner. Neither brother goes to disturb him, not when he's clearly in such a bad mood. Instead they go to the living room to watch TV and relax. Thor flicks through the channels, eventually alighting on 24 Hours in A & E, just to annoy Loki, until his younger brother grapples him for the remote and they end up on QI. They watch two hour-long episodes on Dave before they get bored, when suddenly Thor stands up.
"I've just remembered, I've got to go get something I forgot from this morning," he says, looking around for Odin's wallet and his keys.
"What?" Loki asks, sitting up straight.
"Just...something..." Thor's voice says, drifting in from the hallway as he fishes a tenner from his father's wallet. "I'll be ten minutes, I promise." He shoves his keys in his hoodie pocket and opens the front door.
"Bye then!" Loki calls, frowning. He can't think of anything Thor could have forgotten, but his brother obviously knows what he's on about. Loki looks at the clock on the TV, which says 8:00pm. He changes the channel to some ridiculous romcom on Film4 and stares aimlessly at the screen, mentally criticising the terrible acting and occasionally mocking the whininess of the lead woman's voice.
He finds himself getting surprisingly lost in the plot though, because an hour and a half passes before he realises Thor isn't back. He looks at the clock again, thinking it was just boredom making time drag, but even on the third attempt it still reads 9:30. He feels his pulse begin to rise, and he jumps out of his seat, running into the kitchen to check he hasn't just missed Thor's return.
On finding his brother isn't there, he checks the utility room, and then all of upstairs, composure leaving him with every room he finds vacant. The last one to check is the lair, which he looks in with the door open just a crack, but it's only Odin in there and he's pretty well passed out. For a split second Loki wants to ask his father if he's seen Thor, but he realises it's pointless. Odin probably can't see anything.
Loki sits down on the sofa again in the front room, his hands wringing together in worry. He can't stop his imagination from racing through all the possibilities of what could have happened, but he doesn't dare to dwell on it. There's a hollow, sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach as he pulls out his mobile and tries the only thing he can think of - calling Thor. His fingers shake, and it takes him three tries to hit the speed dial number for long enough to set it calling Thor. There is an agonising moment when it doesn't connect, but then the ringing starts and Loki breathes out a sigh.
It doesn't last. The phone slips from his hand when he hears the sound of Thor's ringtone coming from up the stairs, muffled by the distance. Without thinking Loki bolts up the stairs two at a time and bursts into Thor's room, half expecting to see his brother magically reappeared there, but there's nothing except his phone singing out the tune to Mission Impossible on the bedside table. Loki has to pinch the edge of the bed for support and the world tilts sickeningly.
He's gone.
Loki swallows, picking up Thor's phone with a feeling that his body isn't his own. He can't describe the way it hurts. Thor's gone. Maybe he left, like she did. It's his worst fear, to lose his brother, because without Thor he can't go on.
.
Loki's out the door ten minutes after he saw the phone, not bothering to tell his father where he's going, and sprinting to the Co-op. He feels like he's in a dream, like he's running through treacle and he won't manage to get there before time stops, but he does. He dashes around the aisles like lightning, hoping that maybe Thor's just delayed, but there's no sign of his brother.
Brenda, the lady that works behind the counter most evenings, smiles at him when he arrives, but frowns when she sees him running around.
"Loki? Is something the matter?" Her concern is genuine - she's very familiar with both of them, since they visit the Co-op almost every day, and when she heard about Frigga's departure she offered to help them with the basics for the first few weeks.
"Have you seen Thor?" Loki pants, resting his hands against the counter and looking at her with wild eyes.
"No, love, is something the matter?" She lifts the divide and invites him behind the till, letting him have her seat next to the cash box.
Loki swallows and catches his breath, running a hand through his hair over and over in an attempt to regain composure. "He...he said he was going to get something at eight," he begins, closing his eyes for a minute as he remembers the conversation. "He didn't come back."
Brenda's eyes go wide, and she rubs a hand up and down Loki's back. "I'm sorry, love, but he never got here. I haven't seen him since Friday. Have you called him?" In answer, Loki pulls Thor's phone out his pocket along with his own, and she nods, looking around. One of the other members of staff, who is also reasonably familiar with Thor and Loki, comes over to the counter, her lips pressed in a hard line.
"I was walking here around eight," she explains, looking concernedly at Loki. "I saw him walking - I was right behind him actually, only about thirty metres away." Loki's eyes flash open and he looks at her with a desperate expression, standing up and pressing his hands on the other side of the counter. "But when I turned the corner after him, he wasn't there anymore."
Loki steps back, putting a hand up to his eyes and sucking a deep breath. "OK...Is-is there any footage I could look at, CCTV of outside the shop, to see if he got close?" He's having a hard time controlling his voice; the two women look down on him with worry. It's not often they see Loki so unruffled.
"I can take a look..." Brenda goes to check the monitor for that time, using a remote to display it on the screen in the corner by the tobacco counter. The three of them watch in silence as the footage plays from eight o'clock on fast-forward until the time Loki arrived, quarter to ten. The tape is grainy and jerky, but it's clear that Thor is not amongst the people that were seen outside the door of the shop that evening.
The blood has completely drained from Loki's face by the time they reach the images from the current time. He feels faint, but also disjointed, like it's all a dream. He expects any moment to wake up on the sofa with Thor's arm around him and a warm chuckle in his ear. I'm not surprised you fell asleep during that, Loki. Even I was getting sent off.
There's nothing though, no sudden jerk back to reality, and despite his hoping he is painfully aware that this is real, that his life has at last become a nightmare. He stands up shakily and thanks both women, scribbling down his number and begging them to call him if anything, anything comes up, no matter what time of day or night it is. They promise to, and watch with dismay as he walks slowly home.
Loki's hands shake when he tries to open the door, but he eventually gets it open and sags against it once he's inside. He doesn't know what to think. More than anything, he wishes Thor was there. His sensible, practical brother, he would know exactly what to do in this situation. And that makes it hurt all the more, because Thor isn't there, and may never be again, so now Loki is alone, and he's frightened.
Something makes him go to the lair and open the door, though he nearly throws up when he does - the stench is overwhelming. Loki perseveres, flicking on the light but keeping it low, and he goes to sit next to where his father is slumped. Odin doesn't really appreciate what's happening, but he responds well enough,wrapping an arm around Loki's shoulders when his son curls up against him and sobs quietly. The warmth of his father's arm does little though, and Loki's never felt so alone.
"Loki," Odin mumbles about half an hour later, and a couple more beers down the line. "What's wrong?"
Loki buries his face in Odin's shoulder and doesn't say anything, but for once his father plays the good parent, tilting Loki's chin up and smiling softly at him. "You can tell your dad. What's wrong?"
Loki takes a deep breath, not sure if it's wise to tell Odin or not. Yes, he should tell his dad, even if it's purely because Odin is Thor's father too, but he doesn't want to worry him. He gulps, and looks hard at Odin through starry eyes, pleading for help. His father kisses his forehead and hugs him tightly, murmuring that he can talk when he's ready.
"Thor's gone," Loki says quietly. "He's disappeared. They don't know where he went..."
Odin frowns, not understanding. "He just went to the shop, surely?"
Loki pauses. It's things like that that make him wonder how much his father actually pays attention. "Yes, but he never got to the shop. He's missing. Dad, he might never come back." He tries to explain, but it's nigh on hopeless. Odin probably won't even remember they had a conversation in the morning.
"Oh Loki," Odin says, smoothing his son's black hair down and resting his head against his neck. "I'm sure he'll be along, some time."
But this time, Loki can't believe it.