Bullies and Victims

Chapter One:Anxiety

"You're overreacting" They say... "Get over it" "You're crazy" "It's all in your head"

These thoughts raced through his head as he sat at the foot of his bed,tears streaming down his face.

He couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault was it?Was it really his fault that he felt like he couldn't breathe when faced with new people?When he is forced in front of the class?When he is cornered by a group of guys that would beat him every chance they got?

His name is Matthew Williams and this is what he goes through every day of his life...

Always living in fear of the world and always forgotten by those he loves. He got up and walked towards his dresser opening the bottom drawer and reaching in. Pushing things away until his eyes caught what he was looking for which was hidden carefully at the bottom of the drawer and covered by his other things.

He pulled out the small bag which was half full of razors that he has been collecting for as long as he can remember. Walking into the bathroom he slowly closed and locked the door behind him and grabbed a razor from the bag. Rolling up his sleeve to reveal his forearm covered in bandages from past "activities".

Carefully undoing the bandages revealing scars. Some that were completely healed others that were starting to form into a scab. He slowly dragged the blade across his skin loving the slight stinging sensation that let him know that he is capable of feeling pain. That told him that he is not just a hollow shell. He pressed down harder watching the thin line of the crimson liquid going down his arm.

He wanted to see more. Stripping himself from the rest of his clothing leaving himself standing in his boxers. He started dragging the blade on as much skin as he could. On his arms, stomach, and even his inner thighs. Soon he started to feel light headed and before he could process what was happening he passed out.

When Matthew woke up the first thing he noticed was the all the blood on the white tile floor. Silently cursing himself for being so stupid he got up and started to wrap his arms, stomach, and inner thighs. After he was done he got to work on cleaning the floor only to find that they were stained. "I'll come up with an excuse later"He thought as he got ready for school.

The taught of having to go back to that hell hole made his stomach twist in fear. He felt like he could throw up and he was already shaking as he grabbed the door knob and opened the door. Getting closer to his bus stop to see that his abusers were already there. Immediately, he was frozen into place. Feeling his throat close making it hard to breathe and shaking so hard he could barely stand up.

"I knew I should have waited for Alfred,"He thought slowly backing away before he was noticed."they never mess with me when he's around." Walking backwards slowly and as quite as possible praying silently to not be notice. No such luck though. His abusers have caught sight of him trying to escape and were now walking towards him,evil smirks plastered on their faces.

Turning around to run he was soon on the ground and looking up expecting to see one of his abusers he was instead met with Alfred's smiling face."Hey Mattie didn't see you there!"He said happy as always and helping Matthew up."Of course you didn't."Matthew thought bitterly as he got up and walked behind Alfred to the bus stop.

Finally Matthew was faced with the building that has caused him so much pain and fear. Feeling as if he was going to throw up once again even though he has not eaten in a couple of days. Walking up the steps he was now standing in front of the door. "Maybe it's not to late to go back home and-"Sudden pain shot up his side and he stumbled backwards trying to keep his balance.

"Watch where you're going fag!" He heard and watched as they went inside. Matthew could tell this was going to be a loooong day. And boy was he right. When he got to his first class everyone stopped to glare at him and he unconsciously pulled down his long sleeved sweatshirt over his arms. He didn't know why everyone hated him,they just did. Sitting down in the back corner of the class he read the board and was hit by a wave a nausea. He was supposed to present a project today. Of course Matthew finished but he had no idea he was supposed to present it to the entire class.

To make matters worse everyone in the class volunteered him to go first. He could hardly breathe and felt like he was glued down to his seat,shaking so hard that he highly doubted he'd be able to take one step before collapsing. Everyone was staring at him waiting for him to do something. Tears were streaming down his face and before he could think he was out the door and headed to the exit planning to go home. Though the universe hated him today and the moment he was outside he was being dragged to a secluded area.

Before he could see who it was he was slammed onto the ground and he started feeling pain at his abdomen and face. They were kicking him so hard he started to cough up blood. They weren't done yet though no far from it to be specific. This went on for about an hour before they were finally satisfied. Matthews vision was blurry and he felt extremely light headed. So he laid there on the ground until he felt strong enough to walk all the way home.

By the time he was making his way home the sun was going down indicating that he was there for a couple of hours. Walking down the crowded street he knew people were string at him but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Today is the day I am going to end all this pain,"He thought to himself."after years of putting up with this they have finally broken me"

When he got home he immediately went to his room and not bothering closing the door thinking Alfred was not home. He hurriedly looked through his dresser drawers trying ti find the item that will help him end all this pain. "Where the fuck is it?" He felt the hot tears at the corner of his eyes trying to fall but he would simply would not allow that. Finally he found what he was looking for. His father's gun which he sneaked into his room.

The tears he was holding back were now running down his face no longer being able to hold back the hurt he was feeling. Slowly he brought up his shaky hand that was holing the gun and aimed it at his head. When he was about to pull the trigger he heard a loud gasp behind him. Alarmed Matthew turned around and saw Alfred standing outside his room pure terror in his eyes.

"Mattie what the fuck are you doing?"Tears were now forming at the corners of his eyes. Matthew did not respond feeling his words get stuck in his throat when he opened his mouth. Alfred was then suddenly in front of Matthew trying to get the gun out of his grasp."Let go Alfred I have to do this!"

Matthew screamed just wanting to end all the pain he has felt for years.

"N-no you don't Mattie. We can get you help, w-we can help you."He gasped out between sobs. "I promise everything is going to be okay just please don't do this." Matthew looked up at him making eye contact."What are you going to do Alfred! Most of the time you don't even know I exist! I don't want to live through all this pain anymore! I just want it to-!" Matthew never got to finish. There was suddenly a sharp pain in his abdomen and blood everywhere. He soon realized the gun accidentally went off and shot him in the stomach.

"Finally,"He thought."I don't have to live with this pain anymore"He closed his eyes and all he heard was Alfred running out of the room. Soon he came back and put Matthew on his lap. "It's going to be okay Mattie,it's going to be okay."He repeated over and over again. Matthew could feel tears landing on his face and the last thing he heard was a siren in the distance.

Okay so I finally decided to update this! Sorry it's been so long but I had no idea how to update another chapter...

But I got someone to explain it to me which I am extremely grateful for UuU

So I promise it wont take as long anymore

Anyway I hope you liked this chapter and you can expect more to come in the future

~EasilyConfusedHetalian