Chapter Four
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters orNarutoitself.
Warning: This chapter contains rape, incest, male/male.
'Cause I of the morning now go
Pick up where my thoughts left off
'Cause I'm home to die on my own
~The Smashing Pumpkins
So it seems as though it is a tie for Sasuke's or Itachi's POV as I am writing the fourth chapter. Thus, I have decided to do one of each. This chapter will be in Sasuke's point of view.
It's morning again. Another day I have to pretend to be the composed leader. I've already lost track of how long it's been since he started invading my nights. I think it's been a few weeks. Can't say for sure.
I've taken to spending most of my time in my room. Karin and the rest of them tend not to bother me that much. When I come out for meals, I tell them what I've been planning, working on. They think I spend all day making plans. As long as they don't bother me, it's fine. It's fine for now. Until they get suspicious. I'm waiting for a slip-up. One day, I'll forget to lock my door and someone will come in. Come in and see me crying.
I sometimes wonder why I haven't offed myself yet, but I think of how cowardly that would be. How would everyone think of me then? I want to die, of course, but I'd rather die fighting. No one can know how weak I am.
I'm so tired. I know I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm afraid to sleep. Regardless, he only seems to come to me at night. I accidentally fell asleep yesterday after lunch… Or was it before then? Itachi wasn't there. I will stay awake tonight and see if he comes anyway.
At dinner, I drink a lot of coffee. Karin is suspicious, I think. I tell them that I am working on something. I will be working all night. I need the caffeine. They leave me alone. I think they are afraid of me because of my behavior.
I return to my room and turn on all my lights. I crawl into bed, but I don't sleep. I think of ways I can make him leave. I could gouge his eyes out and make a run for the door. I could use a clone, a substitution? Will he be too quick for me? He'd dead. Zombies are slow.
I laugh bitterly. It occurs to me that I am not alone in the room. A shadow goes over me. I can see it with my eyes closed.
"What's so funny, Sasuke?" I hear him say.
I don't move. I don't want to talk to him. Go away, the lights are on! I can feel the sheets being pulled off of me. My eyes are shut tight. I don't remember closing them.
"Why don't you go away," I say. I don't ask.
Itachi sits on top of me. He will do it again. I know he will. Every night he does it. Every night he does it.
"You haven't smiled," Itachi says. His voice is low and quiet. "Why don't you smile for me?"
I stay silent. I will not give him the satisfaction. I will never smile.
Itachi tugs on my hair and I finally open my eyes. I frown at him. His eyes are glazed over with death. His face is inches from my own. I can feel his cold lips even before they press to mine. I'm sick. My mouth is opening before I can will myself not to. Itachi always overpowers me. His tongue is cold and slimy in my mouth, but I moan anyway. I'm a sick fucking slut.
"Don't cry," Itachi chides. When did I start crying? Itachi slides a cold hand over my cheek, wiping the tears away. "Smile," he insists.
I say no. I always say no. Itachi knows that I will not smile. He does it every night knowing this.
My clothes are gone again. When did he take my clothes off? His cold hands are touching me everywhere, I'm panting already. Slut slut slut. He turns me over. I can feel him pressing against me, cold and hard. I bite my lip hard. Blood comes down. Drips off my face, onto the pillow.
There is a lot of blood on the pillow. It is mostly dried, old, and brown. All of it is mine. My pillow, I think, used to be white. I catch myself moaning, my face is in the pillow. I don't remember him being inside of me, but he is. I'm hard.
He lifts my hips up and tells me I should be on all fours. Since when is there a mirror? There is a mirror in front of me, behind my bed, on the wall. It is a large mirror. I can see myself getting fucked. Itachi meets my eyes in the mirror.
Smile, he mouths.
I look down at the bed. He slams into me hard, hitting that spot. I sound like a whore. He orders me to watch and I do. He keeps telling me to smile, but I won't. It feels so good.
"So smile," he says. I think he is begging me, but I can't hear over the sound of my heartbeat. I can feel wetness spurt onto my chest as I come. I am being filled with him.
"Why don't you smile?" he breathes.
I never smile.
In the morning, I clean up and have breakfast. I tell Karin and the others about a plan I have. I came up with it in the shower. It's no good. Suigetsu thinks it's brilliant.
I go back to my room and try to remember how long it's been. He keeps coming to me. I'm afraid to sleep. Regardless, he only seems to come to me at night. I accidentally fell asleep yesterday after lunch… Or was it before then? Itachi wasn't there. I will stay awake tonight and see if comes anyway.