Chapter 5

After leaving the diner, we walked next door to a bar and went inside. The place was dark and dingy and reeked of tobacco smoke. There were two men and a woman sitting at the bar and some country tunes were playing on a jukebox.

"Whoa, look out for the crowd," Tim whispered behind me.

"You think we'll have to wait our turn to use the pool table?" I joked back. I pulled a ten out of my purse. "I'm buying. Get me a Bud Lite."

He snatched the ten from my fingers. "A Bud Lite is for pansies. I'll get you a beer that'll put hair on your chest."

"Do I look like I'd want hair on my chest?"

He laughed as he walked to the bar.

I went to the pool table and picked out a cue stick from the wall. As I was chalking it, Tim walked up with two bottles of beer.

He handed one to me. "Sorry, but they don't carry that girly brand. You'll have to settle for the manly version."

I rolled my eyes.

He ran his fingers through his long hair and picked out a cue stick. "Ladies first."

I broke the triangle of billiard balls and a solid orange went into a pocket.

"Are you gonna hustle me, Taylor?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, I'm a closet pool player." I aimed the stick.

"You're gonna miss this one. I know it." He took a swig from his beer. "Trust me."

I hit the white ball and it grazed my target without moving it much.

He walked up to me with a grin. "Told ya." He held his beer bottle out to me. "Hold this. It might take a while." He proceeded to drop all the striped balls as if they were connected to the pockets with a string. His aim was impeccable. The only ball left was the black one. "Eight ball in that corner pocket," he pointed out.

I decided to provide a little distraction. I sat on the corner of the pool table where he was aiming to drop the ball. Sitting like that effectively exposed a fair amount of skin at my back and maybe two or three inches of butt crack. I nonchalantly took a gulp from my beer bottle.

Tim struck the white ball and it barely grazed the black one. He straightened up and frowned at me.

I gave him an innocent look as he came around to me. "What? Why're you looking at me like that?"

"You know what you did." He yanked his bottle out of my hand. "Your turn."

I studied the table and planned out my strategy.

When I decided on a target, Tim stood on the opposite side and lifted his teeshirt, exposing his unbelievably well-defined, tanned torso all the way up to his neck. "Damn, it's really hot in here."

I struck the white ball and it harmlessly bounced off the edge of the table.

He raised an eyebrow in victory. "I can play your game all night, Taylor. I'll even drop trou in this very respectable establishment."

"Bullshit."

He put his beer down and his hands went to his belt.

When he started undoing it, I tossed the pool stick on the table and raised my hands in defeat. "Okay, you win, I lose."

He walked toward me and took my hand. "You are way too easy to fluster, Jules."

"I'm not flustered."

"Yeah, you are." He rubbed my knuckles with his thumb. "Look at the color on those cheeks."

"Yeah, because…you're doing that…and you're pissing me off."

"Oah, com'ere." He folded his arms around me and I got another whiff of that disgusting and fabulous scent of sweat and gasoline and horse. His arms were thick and muscular and probably capable of crushing my ribs and I loved the feel of them around me. He spun us around in an old fashioned dance move to "Amazed" by Lonestar. "You like it when I piss you off."

If I didn't know him better, I could swear he was flirting with me. But that shouldn't have surprised me. He had always been that way with me. He continued holding me and spinning us to the country song and then Tim started to sing along completely off key. Whether or not it was on purpose, I didn't know.

"I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Forever and ever. Every little thing that you do, baby, I'm amazed by you."

The three customers and the bartender all clapped and whistled.

"Now you did it. We have an audience." I reluctantly removed myself from his arms.

"Thank you, thank you, people." He waved a hand for them to stop. "You're too kind. No, really. I suck, but thanks."

I laughed and raised my beer. "Yeah, Timmy, you really suck."

"Timmy? Since when should I allow you to call me Timmy?"

"You call me Jules, I'm gonna call you Timmy." I finished my beer. "We should head back," I suggested before he could grab me again for more dancing.

"There goes our entertainment," said the woman at the bar.

"Have a good night, y'all," Tim said as he held the door open for me.

We walked back across the street to the motel room.

"What time are we hitting the road in the morning?" I asked as he popped the car trunk so I could grab one of my suitcases.

"How does 9:00 sound?"

"9:00 is fine."

He unlocked the motel room door and stepped aside to let me in.

I glanced around the small room. There were two full size beds with a night stand between them. It was very sparsely decorated.

Tim pulled off his teeshirt and climbed on the bed closest to the door. Then with a groan, he rolled over on his back and closed his eyes.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. The hot shower felt wonderful. When I came out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Tim hadn't moved and was probably asleep by now. I walked to my suitcase and pulled out shorts and a teeshirt. I slipped them on without removing my towel. Then I got in bed and turned off the light.

"Goodnight, Jules," he suddenly said in the darkness.

I thought he had been asleep. "Goodnight, Tim," I replied.

It was a restless night. I kept waking up and checking to see if he was still in the other bed. I was afraid he'd abandon me and then that killer would find me. I could hear Tim breathing a few feet away as he slept. Being this close to him was absolute torture. I literally wanted to jump into bed with him.

Flashback – Five years ago

I planned on losing my virginity when I was a junior in high school. Not on my wedding night, as I used to always dream about…I didn't want the glamour anymore or the loving words and promises or gentle caresses… I wanted my first time to be something hot and memorable and completely random.

Since I wasn't going to the Homecoming dance that night, I went to a party with Lois. There was plenty of alcohol to go around and loud music blared from the stereo. Aside from the constant invitations from guys who wanted to get down and dirty with me in some corner of some room, it was pretty tame. So far I hadn't found any prospects worthy enough to lost my virginity over.

I ended up playing quarters with Landry Clarke, but when he left, a guy named Riley sat down. I remembered him from one of my classes. So I started doing beer shots with him and the more I drank, the more impaired my judgment became and that was dangerous because I was ready to accept any invitation at this point.

Tim Riggins walked into the room and his eyes scanned the crowd, probably looking for his next conquest. I didn't realize I had been staring until his eyes happened to find mine.

The corner of his mouth curved into a crooked smile and he sat down in the chair Riley had vacated to get a beer. "Hey Taylor, you finally decided to crawl out of the convent and join the land of the living. That's a huge step. Good for you."

I pretended his presence didn't intimidate me. "Screw you, Tim."

He leaned close, sniffing the air near my face. Maybe I shouldn't have sprayed that perfume on myself before I left the house. "Anytime you want. Fifteen different ways, too." His breath smelled like whiskey. "You wanna lose your virginity, I'm your man."

How could he possibly know what I was looking for at this party? I placed my hands on his rock hard chest and shoved him away from me. "Keep dreaming. I wouldn't be caught dead with you between my legs."

He moved in close again, not getting the hint at all. "Thanks for the visual, Taylor. Except I'm imagining you quite alive. I don't think I'll be able to sleep at night without that image in my head."

I looked down to where his hand rested on my forearm. It didn't fully register that he was touching me until his thumb was lightly stroking circles over my flesh.

"Anytime you want, Jules."

I tried my best to snort in disgust, but couldn't stop my hands from moving along the hard plains of his chest as I pushed away from him. "I need another beer." I got up from the table.

The night just became more and more ominous. As I joked and laughed with some of my friends, from the corner of my eye I spied Tim moving through the room like a whirlwind. Every time I looked in his direction he was standing with a different girl, making them giggle disgustingly. With the latest, he was leaning against her ear, whispering things that were pleasing, judging by the blissful smile on her face.

I didn't want to admit it even in my own head that I desperately wanted to be the next girl. To be the object of his attention and his lust…even if it was a one-time thing. It disgusted me the way I wanted it so badly. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I be satisfied with the nice guys that asked me out? Did it mean I secretly wanted to be damaged by a bad boy? Why did I want to be subjected to that kind of mental and physical pain?

At 10:45, I didn't feel any positive vibes from any of the guys at the party, so I decided it was time to leave. But I couldn't find Lois. Luckily it wouldn't be a long walk home. Before I contemplated that, I needed to pee. Since the powder room smelled like vomit, I decided to venture further down the short hall and found a cleaner bathroom attached to the master bedroom. After taking care of my business, I opened the door and was about to walk out. Something stopped me in my tracks.

Tim's voice was coming down the hallway, toward the bedroom. "Just sit tight for a minute," he said. "I gotta take a leak."

Without thinking, I moved back into the bathroom and quickly slipped inside the bathtub, behind the shower curtain. I heard Tim walk in and close the door, pushing in the lock. He whistled as he moved to the toilet. His zipper went down and that was followed by the distinct sound of a stream of fluid falling into the toilet bowl.

I couldn't help myself. I silently snuck toward the edge of the shower curtain for a peek. Just then something fell behind me. It was a bottle of shampoo I accidentally bumped on the metal rack next to me.

The shower curtain flew open. "Taylor! What the fuck…!" He was blocking my view with his back. When he finished, he flushed the toilet and turned to face me with a smug smile. "You make a habit out of hiding in the shower at people's houses so you can watch them take a piss? I hate to tell you this, but some people don't like that."

When he moved toward me, I quickly hopped out of the bathtub, nearly taking the shower curtain down while trying to dodge his hands. I grabbed for the doorknob, but he was fast.

He pinned me against the wall. "That's kind of a sick obsession. Or maybe you were just waiting for me?"

"Yeah, Tim, I waited in the bathtub all night for you." I was being sarcastic, but he didn't hear it that way.

His hands went to my face and suddenly his lips were on mine.

I couldn't believe it. He was kissing me…hard. I moaned as he plundered my mouth.

He pulled away, his breath on my face. "How bad do you want it, Jules?" His voice was sultry. "Tell me." His hand came up and grasped my right breast, squeezing it firmly over my shirt.

I wanted to struggle, I really did. But I arched into his hand instead of away from it. I was going to let him have his way…because I wanted it.

That made him press me harder into the wall. He released my breast and slid his hand under my tank top. He yanked at my bra, pulling the cup away so his fingers were free to touch all of it. He kissed me again and ground himself against the juncture of my thighs.

His hand came off my breast and moved elsewhere, pushing up my skirt. In one swift movement he ripped off my panties like they were nothing.

In the back of my head, I knew I should have panicked and struggled, but it didn't happen. All I had to say was 'no'. The word was stuck in my throat. It wouldn't come out. I didn't want it to come out. I didn't want him to stop. This was exactly who I wanted to be with. I couldn't have planned it any better. I wanted to be utterly destroyed by Tim Riggins.

I couldn't stop my reaction as he touched me down there. His fingers knew exactly what I wanted, what felt good.

Just then the doorknob rattled.

"Tim, what're you doing in there?" asked a needy feminine voice.

He turned his face away to address the door. "Get lost!"

"But…I've been waiting for…"

"I said get lost!" he growled.

As the unknown girl's footsteps moved away from the other side of the door, Tim's hot breath returned to my face. Dear God, I was going to have an orgasm…right in front of him. How could he get me off so quickly? The wave of concentrated heat rushed through me like an electrical storm, sending me into convulsions. My thighs trembled from the intensity. Shit, shit, shit!

"That didn't take long," he whispered.

I couldn't keep silent. It was too much and it kept going and going. I actually squealed in unrequited bliss. My knees felt so weak, I could barely stand on my feet. I was reeling from the onslaught of pleasure.

God, my stomach dropped like a rollercoaster, tightening in raw desperation when he gripped my wrist and pulled it between us. My hand automatically wrapped around his tool, which I hadn't even realized was suddenly out of his jeans. I couldn't stop myself. I gripped tightly and moved up and down over his solid length. His breath was hot and heavy against my face.

Before I knew what was happening, he nudged my legs further apart. He rubbed himself between my legs. When I suddenly felt him start to enter me with a bit of force, I instinctly pushed him away. "No, I can't…"

"Yeah, right." He moved toward me again.

"I said no!"

"Are you kidding me? You really wanna stop now?"

I pulled my jean skirt down and grabbed the doorknob. This time he didn't stop me as I pulled the door open and ran out. I found Lois standing in the kitchen with some guy I didn't know. "Can we go?" I asked her, trying to appear calm.

"Okay, just give me a few more minutes," she replied.

I glanced around the kitchen and found a half empty bottle of rum. I grabbed it and started drinking right out of it. I needed to numb the heat that was still burning between my legs.

A few minutes turned into an hour and I found myself on the sofa and my mouth was going on and on about my mom, complaining about her control over every little thing I did. Riley was sitting next to me and he was being such a good listener…although it was weird that he was listening with his face against my neck.

Tim was suddenly standing in front of me. "Hey, Jules?"

I looked up at him. I was pretty sure I was supposed to be mad at him, but I couldn't remember why. "Hm?"

"Come on, I'll take you home."

"I…I don't wanna go," I told him.

His eyes moved to Riley. "Hey, I'll grab you a beer."

"Sure," replied Riley as he got up from the sofa.

"You're grabbing beers?" I called out.

"Yeah, you want one?" asked Tim.

"Yeah."

A minute later Tim came back empty handed. "Hey, yeah, it's time.."

"Time for what? Where's my beer?"

I couldn't walk anymore, so Tim was helping me into his truck and then out of his truck and into my house. His arm was around my waist and both of mine were around his neck.

"Remember what I said about being quiet, alright?" he said as he led me toward my bedroom. Once there, he plopped me down on the bed. "Okay, there you go."

"The whole world's spinning," I mumbled.

Tim started untying my shoes. "I know it is. I've been there."

"It's spinning!"

"Hey, listen to me. Keep your eyes open. You'll be fine."

"I'm gonna vomit on the bed."

He got both of my shoes off.

"I'm gonna vomit on the floor."

"All right," he said as his hands went to my waist. "Let's move you up so you can pass out without falling off the bed." He pulled my arms around his neck. "Ready? Three…two…one…" He yanked me up so my head was on the pillow.

"There. You good?"

"I'm good."

"It's time to let go."

"I'm good."

"Hey, Julie…" It was my dad's voice, coming into my bedroom.

Tim froze. "Let go." He pulled my arms off of him and stood up. "Coach."

"What the hell are you doing?"

My eyes were closed, but I could hear my dad and Tim talking.

"What the hell are you doing?" my dad asked again, his voice very angry.

"It's not even close to what you think. Listen to me."

"Shut up. You shut up. You shut your mouth right now."

"Coach, you have to understand…"

"Shut your mouth. You go get your stuff and you get out of this house right now."

"Give me two seconds to just…"

"Go get your stuff and get out of this house right now." There was a pause. "Son, do not make me throw you out of this house. Go get your stuff and get out of the house now."

And I imagined I passed out after that.

End of Flashback