Helloooo readers! Happy September! I hope everyone is having a lovely fall!

I had oodles of fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy it!

Shout out to LoveMeant2BE for partaking in my guessing game! 1,000 points!

Disclaimer: Hahahah. I just paid tuition. I literally can't afford coffee.

Casey blushed. She never had thought of herself as a heartbreaker. At the time, she'd believed she was doing the right thing. For both of them. She'd been hurt, too. Cut off from the source of her addiction before she was ready.

Emily was quite on the line for a moment. "It just all makes sense," she muttered, more to herself. Casey bit the inside of her bottom lip.

"I didn't break his heart," she tried. Emily made a noise conveying she didn't buy it . "I didn't!"

"Honey, you stomped all over that thing." Casey winced. She agreed that she could have been more delicate, but Derek wasn't the only one who had gotten hurt.

"Okay," she conceded, "maybe I wasn't as sensitive as I should have been, but Derek was harsh on me, too."

"You two are impossible."

"That's exactly what I thought."

Emily was quiet again. "Hmm," she mused. "So, what made Christmas so dramatic?" Casey smiled. "I know I was there for about six minutes of it, but that is the last anyone ever heard of you."

"We tried to clear the air." Emily squeaked.

"Yes, I do hear that screaming the air clean is quite effective."

Canadian winters are relaxing. The snow makes everything more quiet and cozy. And winter brings Christmas. Good food, good conversation, and quality time with family and friends; happiness.

Derek coming home for Christmas was not her version of happiness. He'd stayed away all fall and didn't even come home for Thanksgiving. Which, her mother reminded her, was a month later in the states. Whatever. While she and Derek had managed one civil conversation via text message, she really didn't want to spend "happy family time" with him. And knowing where to ship his snow boots may not have qualified as a conversation anyway. He still made her angry. She had planned much of her time out of the house for the holiday. It wasn't avoiding, it was being busy. If she didn't have to see him at all that was a bonus.

Unfortunately, Emily wasn't keen on the "avoid people" plan. Casey knew the only reason she was even at this party was for Emily and her nostalgia. They could have gone to that movie, but Emily had begged. Casey had conceded, but was having no fun at all. Zero. Zero fun. Sure, she'd thought seeing some people from high school would be fun, but jocks knew how to drink. By the time she and Emily had graced the scene, it was a mellow affair of people crowding to find seats, reminiscing over this event or that, and arguing over what to eat. The din of the music and chatter was perfect background noise. And then she had spotted Derek. Perfect.

He'd made a couple comments about school and how New York was amazing. He spoke at length about the people he was meeting and places he was experiencing. And he was extremely rude to Casey. She wasn't sure who he was punishing; her or himself. He looked like he was drinking too fast for his own good, but he sneered at her when she suggested a glass of water instead of another beer, so she gave up.

"Are you fighting?" Emily asked by way of greeting, as she joined Casey at the bar later. She must have had enough mingling. Casey looked around her for someone she might be fighting with.

"I haven't spoken to anyone here but you, Em."

"No, not here, God. Derek. He's been in a rotten mood all night and you're over here pouting at the bar." She eyed Casey. "What're you fighting about? He didn't put pudding in your bra drawer or something, did he?"

"God, I hope not," Casey grumbled. "Although, maybe mom and George would let me kill him if he did."

"What? Are you okay?"

Casey rubbed her forehead. "Yeah, just a rough holiday season."

"Tell me about it. My parents were all 'so, when do you get a job and move out?' like people are just handing out jobs like free t-shirts. Anyway-" Emily cut herself off as Casey clutched her arm tightly. "What?"

Casey didn't answer directly. She held onto Emily and stared toward the entrance of the bar. "Shit." Of course he was here. Of course. Truman French wouldn't pass up an opportunity to feel superior with the reward of mostly free alcoholic beverages. Casey felt the urge to cuss more, but she fought it. She wasn't Derek and she didn't use that word.

"Oh, Jesus," Emily groaned. "Is every asshat showing up tonight?"

Casey downed the rest of her drink and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. This was not her week.

She planned on escaping by means of the washroom, but Truman spotted her standing next to Emily and her extremely sparkly top. He gave her a nod, said something to the groupies behind him that made them laugh, and sauntered over.

"Hey, baby," he said in what Casey guessed was his intoxicated version of a sultry voice.

"Really?" she cocked an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. Emily snorted and patted Casey's arm as she walked away. Casey could take him.

"Miss me?"

Casey laughed once. "You have no idea, do you?"

"Told you I still got it," he threw over his shoulder. His entourage snorted and chortled.

"Right. Nice to see you, Tru," she flashed him a tight, fake smile and walked off.

"Was she the one that purred or the one that let you take it in a hot tub?"

Casey froze. He couldn't possibly be that cruel. Truman's group spoke in what was meant to be conceived as a private tone, but it was loud enough to be heard over the dim of the music and chatter.

"Hot tub, man. It was a fan-fucking-tastic."

Truman was even more of a monster than Casey could handle. He was really going share their former sex life with a full bar? God, and he had told his circle already. Casey had never come to terms with that night. And it was haunting her now.

"She seems too uptight to let you have it in a hot tub."

"Well, she can be a real bitch, but I got there first. It was a fucking miracle," Truman looked right at Casey, "but I owned that."

"You know what, French, you are really pissing me off." Derek stood up from a booth behind Truman. Casey had taken a step toward the bar but stalled again when she heard Derek. She hadn't known he was that close.

"Yeah, Venturi? Because that's a really big concern of mine."

"It should be, you asshole." Derek's jaw was clenched, but his voice was eerily calm.

"Nice smack talk, D, you learn that in your fancy college classes?" Truman got to his feet as well and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Now, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? No school let you in."

"No, my mommy and daddy couldn't buy me a degree like your happy family."

"Aw, Tru, you forget that just because you don't have any talents, doesn't mean that other people can't."

"Is that what they call dropping out, now?"

"I wouldn't know, I've never dropped out." Casey didn't understand why Derek would bother lying. She had watched him drop out. Drop out and move away. "I do have talents and am smart enough to get what I want." He looked pointedly at thug-looking kid near the wall. "There are Universities in the States, too. But that involves a bunch of technical crap that you probably couldn't follow anyway."

"Did you want something, Venturi? Or are you just here to be an ass?"

"Oh, yeah," Derek said, as if he just remembered, "I came to tell you what happens when people piss me off."

"I'm all ears."

"Well, now I'm all talked out, so maybe I'll just show you." And Derek punched him right in the face; hard enough to send him reeling back into the table behind him. There was a chorus of 'oh my god' and 'woah' and 'what the hell, man' from the table before they started moving in defense. "That's why you're supposed to be nice to women, ass-wipe," Derek shouted at Truman, flexing his punching fist. Before Casey could convince her feet to move, a full on fight broke.

Derek ducked Truman's attempt to clock him without really moving but took one to the side of the head from a Truman thug. A rather large kid in a baseball cap sided with Derek and pinned the puncher's arms and pulled him away. A few others scuffled with the groupies, making quite a scene. Casey dodged an elbow and ducked out of the way. Truman kicked Derek in the stomach. Derek doubled over, but managed to push Truman to the ground. Casey came to her senses when she saw Derek raise his fist again and the barkeep pick up the phone. She launched herself off the wall she was leaning against, and put her hand on Derek's other arm.

"Derek, don't hit him."

"Why not? He wants to put people down, let's see how tough he is when they fight back!"

"Derek," she tugged on his arm again as the manager walked towards them. "Come on."

He pointed threateningly at Truman, who looked bewildered by the exchange he just witnessed as he bled profusely from his nose and lip.

Derek let Casey drag him out of the bar, into the cold, and down the street to avoid any further confrontation.

"Jesus, Case, pull my arm off, why don't you?"

"Shut up, Derek," she ordered, releasing his arm. He rubbed his hand and looked up at her. Their breath hung in misty clouds over them. "What the hell was that?" she demanded.

"He was being a dick."

"I know that. What made it your personal mission to rectify that?"

"Because the little fucker was being a dick to you!"

"Derek."

"Sorry! About the fucker word." He sat down on the curb in the snow and shook his hand out. His knuckles were going to bruise. Casey huffed. She didn't even care that she was freezing. At least she'd had the good sense to keep her scarf.

"I can handle myself."

"Yeah, you were doing a great job, Princess."

"I still don't think you had to hit him," she grumbled, crossing her arms. She wished she'd remembered her jacket.

"Well, sorry I didn't run that by you, Casey."

He propped his elbows up on his knees and pushed his palms through his hair. She shifted her weight and the snow crunched under her boots. There was quite for a minute and Casey considered leaving.

"I kissed Emily." Derek pushed the words out, like he thought she'd hit him. But she didn't move. Couldn't. A sluggish, hot pain developed in her throat and lodged itself tightly behind her right lung. She swallowed.

"Okay." She kept her voice even and neutral.

"Just so you don't scream at me for not telling you."

"Okay," she said again. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. He dropped his arms over his knees.

"I don't-" he started, and stopped. Casey was wishing she'd left earlier. She didn't need him parading how easily she was replaced. She was already miserably cold. "She's probably pissed at me and will complain to you, so I thought you should hear it from me."

"How considerate of you," she managed, biting back her sarcasm. She fought the urge to shiver or cross her arms. She wracked her brain for a graceful exit that wouldn't make her feel even more stupid. "Speaking of which, I should collect my designated drivees."

"Yeah," he agreed, standing up. "Responsibility rears its ugly head." He brushed off of his jeans.

Casey sighed and shook snow out of her bangs. She just wanted to be home. No. Not home. Just not here. " Have a good night, Derek. Don't die." She turned, fished out her cell, and adjusted the strap of her purse.

"Yeah." His voice was quiet, but she could hear him just before Emily answered her call.

"Oh, my God, Casey, I'm standing out on a curb in the middle of winter!" Emily's voice came out too loud. "That was crazy!"

"I know, Em, I'm sorry."

"What? Why? That was epic; I mean Nolan's date got punched in the back which was unfortunate, but that was crazy! We got kicked out."

"Yeah, I had a feeling."

"They were saying Derek beat up three guys."

"No, just Truman."

"Dammit. Well, I'm telling people it was three."

"He won't stop you."

"Where did he go anyway? He was such a grouch, I didn't think he'd pull himself out of that bottle."

"He did," Casey said, looking back at him sitting on the curb again. He probably didn't notice that he was sitting in half frozen snow. "He's out behind the bar."

"Oh, gross. Okay, well, I'm ready when you are!" she chirped, waving as Casey rounded the building. "I got the coats."

"Oh, my god," Emily whispered. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"Yeah, I might have been able to guess from the casual way you were babbling about him in the car." Casey smirked a little.

"I was trying to be subtle. It would have gone better if you'd been as inhibited by alcohol as I was," Emily pouted. "Did that start the screaming?"

"No, Derek was completely in charge of that."

"I think gin makes people a little friendly," Emily said, happily from the passenger seat. Casey nodded. "Or maybe it's just drinking in general."

"That's probably true. I think Amy pet me three different times."

"Oh, yeah! That's who that was! I was all 'woah, babe' when she did it to me."

"She did it to everyone."

"Well, no, because Derek about took her head off when she tried. He ended up shoving some guy. Which was weird because he was social before that. I mean, not petting friendly, obviously, but just a normal Derek-party friendly." Casey smiled at Emily's rambling. "You know, minus that whole punching thing. And the hour long pout. What do you think that was up with that?" Casey shook her head. "Because when we first got there, he chatted and held my hand and put his arm around me and hugged that one chick from Civics. He even shook Max's hand." She pulled the mirror down and checked her eyeliner.

Casey's chest was tight. It had tightened with every mention of Derek touching Emily. And she was embarrassed that it was killing her. Because this was her fault. And he could touch whomever he wanted.

"Did you know he has abs? Like real ones? I mean, he wasn't fat or anything in high school, but that boy's built some muscle," Emily continued as she flipped the mirror away. "It's kinda sad we decided not to try though college. Queens or New York did him some good. Except for, you know, what he was born with. Like his freakishly lovely long eyelashes. Is he even allowed to have those?"

Casey couldn't answer. Her throat was thick and she quickly brushed at her left cheek. She didn't want to cry now. But Emily wasn't helping. She took a slow breath in, held it for a second, and slowly let it out. She wiped her right cheek with her knuckle as she pulled up in front of their houses.

"Thanks for the ride, Case. I'm so glad you came with me," Emily pushed her door open and let the cold winter air sweep the car. "Love you. Merry Christmas." Casey waved and shot her a quick smile. The door closed and Casey waited for the heater to battle December in Canada. Emily blew her a kiss as her let herself into her house. And Casey broke down.

She hunched over, her forehead on her mother's steering wheel. Her body was wracked with huge silent sobs. She couldn't hold back. The hole in her chest caved in and she cried. She'd ruined it. Everything. Sure, they'd said nasty thing to each other before, but this was different. She knew it was her fault. And even if it was the right thing to do, it hurt. More than she could have ever expected.

Finally, she sucked in a few, halting breaths and put the car back in drive. She hiccupped as she parked and gathered her purse.

"How was the party, Case?" Lizzie perked up as Casey entered the house. She sat cross-legged on the couch under her laptop and a few text books.

"Oh, you know," she shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. Liz gave her a weird look as she headed for the stairs. Edwin came out with a plate of toast and also gave her a funny look. He and Liz exchanged a stare before Lizzie shrugged. Casey ignored them and climbed the steps, away from their chatter.

She shut and locked her bedroom door. She leaned against her dresser, willing her heart to beat normally. Her cheeks and nose were blotchy. She wiped her face with her hands. Why was she still crying? It wasn't like he or Emily did this to her. She unwound her scarf and shimmied out of her coat. This was stupid. She rubbed her smudged makeup off with her fingers. So what, he kissed Emily? He'd done it before. She was still uncomfortable then, but this was worse. She knew both logically and conceptually that he wasn't property, hers or otherwise. But her addiction to him made her sick at the thought of him with anyone else. Before or after her.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when her bedroom door slammed against her wall. Derek tumbled in and steadied himself with her bed.

"Oh, you are crying," he said, straightening.

"What was that?" she yelled at him.

"It was locked," he shrugged, as if that was a reason enough.

"For a reason, Derek!"she knew she was too loud.

"Jesus, Princess, Liz told me that you were upset and already yelled at me!"

"Great, you've hit you're quota, I guess you can go to bed."

"This is what I get for trying to be nice!"

"So, why even bother, right?"

"What's your problem?"

"My problem? You, Derek," she yelled, poking him in the chest. "You are my problem!" Tears began to blur her vision.

"Woah, hold on, how is this already my fault?"

"Who said you got to be right over me?"

"What the hell, Casey?" he backed away. "What are you taking about?" She sat heavily on her mattress and let the tears fall.

"I don't know what you did, but you were right."

"What?" he dropped his hands and sounded calmer.

"You told me I'd regret what I said to you. And," she choked as she tried to inhale and coughed. "And, your ego will be happy to know, you were right. I am miserable. And can't believe you were right."

"What? Case," he looked extremely confused and sat next to her on the bed."I didn't even-I thought you changed your mind."

"What?" It was Casey's turn to be confused. "Changed my mind?"

"I thought you didn't care anymore."

"Of course, I care Derek! I care that you were so calm! I care that you moved to New York! I care that you kissed Emily!" She sniffed. Her nose was starting to run. "I care that I might be half in love with someone who seems so ready to forget me!" She dropped her head into her hands.

"Case," his voice was soft and he put a hand on her back. "Casey, I didn't know." He leaned closer to her. "I just needed you to still care. I just wanted a chance, Princess."

"It wasn't a game, I swear. I'm not playing." She clutched at his arm, needing him to believe her.

"I don't care, Case, I don't care." He brushed a tear away with his thumb. "I just care that you came back." She looked up at him.

"You're the one that left; I didn't go anywhere."

He rolled his eyes and cupped her face. "To me, Princess. That you came back to me." And then he kissed her.

"Wow," Emily moaned out. "I had no idea. I so should have seen this coming!"

Casey switched ears again. "It just happened. I was sure I destroyed anything we had. And he took a chance on me."

"I'm so embarrassed about that night. Thanks for explaining the shouting, though."

Casey laughed. Emily had called making sure everything was okay. She'd heard them from her room.

"We forget other people can hear shouting even if we can't hear them." Emily laughed.

"So, what happened?" Emily asked, eagerly. Casey smiled.

"We decided to try to be together. We knew it was going to be hard. Especially when he went back to the states."

"What? He was going back?" Casey heard someone call Emily's name on her end of the call. "Oh, grandma's awake!" Emily informed Casey. "Off to more dresses!"

"Let me know when you're back!"

"I will. I expect to know why no one knows anything about you."

Like Casey could pull off super spy.

And we're in to the "tween" chapters! Hooray!

And any guesses about what's to come? I mean, how well does long-distance work? Reward of 2,000 points! :)