A/N-Yeah, I know...It's been forever since I've even looked at this story, let alone updated it. My life has been ridiculously crazy and I've been deal with personal issues lately. But hey, if you're one story alert, today is your lucky day. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Review when you're done, it really makes my day.
Learning to Love-Chapter Five
"Love is like quicksand. Falling in is easy...Climbing back out of it? That's the hard part."
A chirp. A tweet. A bird has realized his stalker. He sees his nest mate around but no longer spends every moment with her. The bird behind him has taken that place. He perches on a branch and she lands next to him. The trees are once again bare for the winter. He turns to look at his companion. Together they sing.
Below them, an angry girl storms through the snow. Her mother has arrived, and as per usual, Rose's mood has hit an all-time low. The appearance of her mother have picked at old wounds Dimitri has worked hard to close.
But more importantly, it reminds her of what she lost when Janine gave her up. It reinforces her walls, hers belief that she was never good enough to love. And without Dimitri here to soothe her fears, they grow to become her truths.
Not that Dimitri was helping the situation by any means. He was instilling a feeling of rejection within Rose after the training room fiasco. The familiar wall of ice was beginning to close around her heart once more.
On the other side of the campus, Janine stalked through the double doors leading to the suite she shared with Lord Slevesky's other guardian. The receptionist offered her a weak smile and pointed hastily in the direction of her room. Most knew better than to aggravate an angry Hathaway. If Janine was anything like her daughter, he did not want to be around to witness it.
Janine was upset, understandably so, but also hurt by her daughter's rejection. It wasn't fair to say she had expected anything less of Rose, but that didn't make it sting any less. Regret was a funny thing. It seemed that no matter how much she had, no amount would convince Rose that she was willing to mend. As far as Rose was willing to learn, those bridges were long burned and it was too late to put out the fire that scorched the threads of their relationship.
Janine stared at the mirror, at the woman that stared back at her. What had her life really come to? The only man she had ever loved, she had left behind in the unforgiving iciness of winter. That house stood crumbling in her memories, demolished in Rose's, both minds desperate to forget the pain. Those were happier times, when her reputation hadn't mattered, when all that she needed was Abe's love. But she had left that behind, regretting it ever since.
She and Abe still had brief encounters over email, always about the daughter she had forced him to abandon. But she would not let him see her and she wondered. How much of her refusal was truly in the name of Rose's safety? Perhaps she forbade him out of petty jealousy. She knew Rose would forgive her father; after all, it wasn't his fault he had been absent for most of her life. No, it was hers. Janine hated the fact that she had ruined all chances with Rose. And she refused to let Abe enjoy what she never would. Their daughter's love.
She glanced at herself again. Was it worth it, living this life as an empty shell, just to save herself the pain? She knew in her heart that it was not. Her regret would not let her believe otherwise.
The chattering of voices below disrupted her contemplation; she turned to observe the group of children passing below her. In the center, a blond girl shook her curls to rid herself of the snow before returning her gaze to the Damphir accompanying her. The boy began to reply before his instincts kicked in. Years of training alerted him to the presence of another pair of eyes watching them. He glanced up at Janine, the girl following his gaze. Recognition flashed through her eyes, then anger. Janine whirled away from the window, the hate in the girl's glare at the forefront of her mind.
She knew those violet eyes. How could she not? Everyone in the guarding world knew the Dragnomir princess after she had disappeared for over two years. Her unique specialization had made her famous amongst the Royal Moroi. But Janine had a more personal reason to recognize the princess; she was the Moroi that her daughter was bonded to. A bond was legendary, the origin was still unknown. All Janine knew of it was that the bond connected her daughter to this Royal Moroi. But this revelation certainly explained the loathing in her gaze. Janine was not welcome as far as Rose's friends were concerned.
In the shelter of a snowy tree, Dimitri Belikov looks out over the frozen lake. Tasha Oreza has left her skates behind, a silent offer, leaning against a tree on the opposite bank. The tree is the only thing untouched by snow, instead displaying inexplicable dewdrops as an example of Tasha's fiery prowess. But he does not care for the display, his mind in a different place; a training gym has suddenly become his paradise. He doesn't understand why, only that he does.
No one can explain the whims of the heart. But love is strange, forbidden for him as well as her, not just because of their age difference. Rose is young and determined, with a bright future. He refuses ruin that. Dimitri has a duty to adhere to, one that prohibits love. He will not endanger his or her career.
Tasha Oreza represents his way out of this endless cycle of repetition. He cannot push Rose away for much longer without cracking his already fragile control. He does not care for Tasha as more than a friend but he supposes, in time, affection will come. For now, he must forget Rose and how she makes him feel. It will not be easy, no one has seen through his barriers that easily. Not even his family has understood that crushing guilt that threatens to overwhelm him on a daily basis. Regardless of his emotions, he must make the best choice for the both of them.
Sighing, he trudges over to other back and wraps his hand around the laces of the skates. Throwing them over his shoulder, he begins the first step in the long life of loneliness he has committed himself to.
That night, as two hearts harden, another despairs. After all, a journey of good intentions is often lined with regret.