Disclaimer: Don't own Fruba, don't own HP. If I did I wouldn't suck at writing so much.
AN: Well, hello guys! Chapter 2 of this fic! Woohoo! *cricket sound effects* …whatever. Anyway, as I said, I really wasn't going to continue this fic, but you awesome reviewers were so awesome I felt that I owed you guys something. So here you go. I don't find it as funny as chapter one, I don't know why, but I haven't had any feedback on this chapter at all, so I'll let you guys decide if it's funny, or just weird. Anyway, read on!
Weirdly, Peter had already gotten to the last few pages of the manga.
...wait.
It's manga.
Peter Pettigrew had never read manga in his life. Nor was he ever meant to. This was quite problematic, because it meant that he had started at the end.
Where the bonus Kyo-kun fanart was.
Peter stared. Damn, this guy was hot! He started drooling.
...eww
Uh...Pete?
ANYWAY. Someone has to fix this problem. I mean, the story can't proceed if Peter can't read manga!
Suddenly, a hand reached out from the heavens. It descended down and gently caressed the rat's head.
The rat was granted with; iñtéllîgéncé. And weaboo knowledge. (Hehe, can't leave out the deus ex machina, can you?)
Unfortunately, Peter is still Peter, and he is still stupid, and a rat. In the process of trying to flip the manga around, he slipped off the table where he was reading, and died.
...I wish.
Peter gasped. He was still alive! But he had sustained severe head injuries. That's the intelligence gone.
So the rat proceeded to digest all 23 volumes of Furuba. And became a Kyo fangirl fanboy fanman.
After finishing the whole series, Peter scurried dazedly out of the library.
He sighed blissfully. Wasn't Kyo-chan such a baka sugoi kakkoii kawaii tsundere desu pocky tokyo mochi neko miku toyota honda suzuki mitsubishi hyundai nissan subaru ford (?) fujitsu fujoshi yandere nichan-ojisan-aniki-otaku-senpai?
...ah yes. The benefits of being a weaboo.
Suddenly, Peter had a sudden craving for a jam tart. Or an onigiri. You know, completely normal, considering they're in Britain, in Hogwarts no less. Like, I mean, house elves totally make rice balls every day, huh?
So he scurried off to the kitchen. I mean, this is the guy who sold his friends to Voldemort, but couldn't let Crabbe and Goyle have some chocolate!
But there was one problem. Peter was a rat. How the hell can he tickle a pear in a painting if he's 20 centimetres long? And he didn't want to turn into a human, because honestly? He's better looking as a rat.
But Peter was a full-grown British wizard, and if he wanted something badly enough, then nothing's going to stop him.
So he gritted his teeth, and began to climb up the painting. Except it was more like clawing the painting, because he wasn't getting anywhere.
Luckily for him, just as he was going to give up, the painting/door/whatever it's supposed to be, opened. Out came a very confused looking Harry Potter.
The boy-who-lived hesitated outside the door. You see, Peter's not the only one being treated weirdly by Ron and Hermione. Harry was very confused how his friends could suddenly think that he was a 'dog', and a 'pervert'. Seriously, wasn't that Sirius?
…
Stupid Sirius puns.
Harry contemplated his situation. Then he got it.
"DUMBLEDORE!" he screamed passionately.
From underneath Harry's foot, Peter could only let out a confused little " Danburudoa?"
Peter recovered surprisingly fast from Harry's foot attack. Probably the motivation of food.
That being said, he quickly scrambled into the kitchens. And was met by a very strange sight.
Not a single elf was in the kitchen. Indeed, the kitchens were deserted except for Hermione, who was cooking (and here's hoping that Hermione is a decent cook. Which she probably isn't.), and Ron, who was watching her, wearing some protective mask thingy. And here's thinking Ron is a wizard who can do magic. Like, what happened to protego and the rest of it?
Peter watched in awe and confusion as Hermione pulled a greenish plant kind of thing (spring onion? Bleugh, who likes vegetables anyway) out of a boiling pot of water, and proceeded to face Ron and smile the most optimistic, bright, un-Hermione-ish smile in the history of un-Hermione-ish smiles. And we all know that Hermione is perfectly capable of producing very un-Hermione-ish smiles that are un-Hermione-ish.
Ron blushed. And started yelling stuff at Hermione.
Hermione kept of smiling that un-Hermione-ish smile. It was a bit creepy, actually, how that expression seemed plastered to her face.
And now the author will attempt to use a Chekhov's Gun because she is bored.
Remember how we said before that Pete had a craving for an onigiri? Well, he still wanted to eat a rice ball.
Suddenly, Wormtail caught a scent. It was...it was the delicious wafting fumes (uh…) of a fresh, complete-with-a-really-tiny-plum-on-the-back riceball. And it was coming straight from Hermione. (what the heck) Yes, I mean STRAIGHT from Hermione.
Peter felt himself tremble with emotion. Tears welled in his eyes. Why must life do this to him? But he could not resist the temptation. Scurrying out of the corner from where he was observing, the rat pounced on Hermione and started chewing her. Hermione looked shocked, and let out a high pitched wail.
He was just proceeding to gnaw Hermione's shoulder when he noticed something. Stopping and looking up sheepishly, he noticed Ron smiling at him evilly.
He gulped. And what were those...those things sticking out of his head? They weren't...cat ears?
And then something inside his head clicked. He stared at Ron, gasping in sudden realisation. He realised that…
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RON-KUN NO KAWAII!
No sooner than he had thought this did he notice Ron grab him by the tail and fling him out of the paper window, with such force that he seemed to be defying gravity.
Wheee! He was flying!
This went on for like, an hour, until he landed in Paris, crashing through a window (glass, this time. Oww) into a restaurant.
A restaurant named Ratatouille.
Meanwhile at Shigure's
Yuki was in his room, trying to do a particularly hard homework assignment. He really wasn't trying to avoid Tohru and Kyo, because that would be rude.
…okay, maybe he was, but it was for a good reason! Kyo and Tohru's behaviour was starting to freak him out,
…not like someone as dignified as Yuki himself could freak out or anything. But that's not the point.
So here he was, shutting himself up in his room, doing an assignment.
Suddenly, there were knocks at the (paper) door. It was Tohru.
Letting herself in, (was Tohru usually this un-shy?) she glanced around, and her gaze landed on Yuki. She raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"The rat…" she mumbled, "Is doing homework…" And then she left.
She must have gone to call Kyo because minutes after she had gone, Kyo let himself into Yuki's room casually, like he owed the place (freeloader…)
He grinned, and started to approach Yuki.
And continued to approach Yuki.
"Damn cat, what do you think you're doing?!"
He continued to approach Yuki.
"Stop coming near me, you little bastard!"
He finally approached Yuki…
"What do you think-!"
And started stroking him.
Yuki screamed. (like a girl)
Well, that was quite fun! And a bit weird. Well, I hope you liked it enough to review! Just a few words, to make my day? And…I really don't think I'll continue this…