Well, I'm sorry, but there isn't much humor in this chapter. It's more of a filler, and a chance to write some scientific stuff and boast about the fact that I did some research and that all agents mentioned here are canon, either in the comic books or the Agents of SHIELD TV series. Also, as revealed in the Agents of SHIELD trailer, COULSON LIVES! WOOT! One other thing. PLEASE READ. IMPORTANT. First, this story is both drama and humor, so please don't expect laughs all the way. That doesn't mean that there won't be any jokes at all. Also, for me, there are two types of humor – Structured humor and random humor. I will be using the previous for this story, i.e.

Structured : Nick Fury cautiously stepped into his office, wary of any more buckets of water on the doors. How the brats managed to pull off the prank when all the doors slid would elude him forever. Satisfied that there were no wet and feathery threats, he stepped into the office, only to have a suction cup arrow stick itself onto his eyepatch. He looked up just in time to see a tuft of dark blonde hair disappear into an air vent.

"BARTON!"

Random: The Avengers were only playing a game when suddenly, a dragon appeared outside their window. But Thor quickly threw his plastic hammer at it and killed it.

Also, there are many instances where a cross of random and structured humor takes place as well and I think I'll also use those.

Well, sorry for the awfully long authors note – enjoy.

My thanks to:

RockAngel2642, WritingHood, SerialKiller13 and HowTheStoryEnds for following my story.

Fearlee and WritingHood for reviewing.

SerialKiller13 for favoriting the story, and for favoriting and following me.

Warning : Swearing.(sorry Fearlee, but it is Fury.)

Chapter 2 : Of scientific gibberish and doughnuts

"Sir?"

"Agent Hill."

"Those cards were found in Coulson's locker, not in his jacket."

"They needed the push."

(This bit is in the Agents of SHIELD trailer.)

Ward was irritated.

"What does SHIELD stand for, Agent Ward?"

Although he actually liked Maria Hill a bit, as much as he could like anyone, he was getting tired of these games. However, he retained his cool manner as he answered.

"Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

"And what does that tell you?"

"That someone really wanted our initials to spell out SHIELD."

She smiled slightly, pausing in her pacing around the room then continuing.

"What do you know of Agent Coulson?"

God damn it, this was annoying. In a slightly impatient voice, "I have level 6 clearance. I know that Agent Coulson was killed during the tesseract event, before the battle in New York."

Said person promptly walked in through the door.

"Welcome to level 7."

Nick Fury was in a bad mood and he showed it. Striding through the halls of the helicarrier, he snapped at anyone unfortunate enough to be standing in his way, either with an eloquently phrased, "Get the fuck out of my way", or, more often, "Fucking move!" A few steps away from his destination, he thought about all the people he'd sent scurrying on the way, and was quite pleased with the head count. Mentally promising himself a scotch and a cream doughnut when he got back to his office, he quickly slapped the furious expression back onto his face as he saw Agent Sitwell round the corner, and avoid Fury completely. Finally reached the R&D department, he threw open the doors, and strode in, practically basking in the attention he received and reveling in the redoubled flurry of activity that followed. It wasn't that he was an egotistical idiot. He just liked to make sure that his people were working.

"Dr. Boothroyd, report." He barked into his earpiece, and watched the 'personal effects' (cough, weapons development, cough) director quickly walk towards him from the other side of the room. Fury could already tell by the expression on his face that he had news, but that it wasn't good.

"Herr, director" his feeble attempt at a joke made no impression at all on the half-livid director, "We have determined why the gas penetrated the air filters. Whoever pulled off the attack was rich. A specific permutation of iridium, palladium, and platinum, when used to coat vibranium can allow it to retain vibrations inside of it, not moving, and then release a concentrated beam of high frequency vibrations when a chip is made in the coating using a special form of gamma radiation. When multiple beams are conjoined, the vibration is strong enough to rip apart electrons, and the rest of the sub-atomic particles, making atoms and molecules that are actually smaller than they should have been. Farrell's been experimenting with this technology to create miniscule holes in air filters, but the compound and radiation are extremely unstable, and we've had to call off most experiments half-way through-"

"Call in Dr. Pym; he knows vibranium better than anyone." Fury interrupted, "Continue."

"Will do, sir. Now, as for the de-aging compound itself, we've been having a hard time isolating any compounds. As I said, the molecules are extremely small, and whoever the culprit is, he was smart too. He's added many extra, and unnecessary gases into the mixture, to try and disguise the compound."

"Right, get Agents Simmons and Fitz to investigate possible bio-technology. Contact SWORD and make sure that it's not extra-terrestrial. God knows that we don't need a war when our response team is a bunch of toddlers. Get Richards on this too. Do you know how long it will last?"

"Unfortunately, no, director. We've collected blood samples from each Avenger, and we've managed to isolate the mixture responsible, but not the compound. We haven't managed to develop an antidote either, and, due to it's volatile nature, several agents have been de-aged to their teens. This gives us hope that it will wear off eventually."

'Oh, good, now he had teenagers with knives to deal with.'

"Great. Now I've got hormone crazy secret agents to deal with as well. Hmph, six year old superpowered supergeniuses aren't enough, huh? What happened to their weapons?"

"Ahh, that, director. Well… I have to admit, we know absolutely nothing about that. We-"

"Oh, fuck it." Fury interrupted, "I've got enough to deal with without having to worry about tiny bows and guns. Let's just be happy that Thor can't summon his hammer. Ask Henry McCoy and Reed Richards to help as well. Now, I've got to go appoint a baby-sitter."

"Of course, sir."

Boothroyd quickly walked back to his… his… unexplained science thing that Fury didn't want to know more about. He walked to the elevator and went up to the bridge.

"Hill, Coulson, report to the bridge – now."

His two agents appeared in the room a few minutes later.

"You two will be in charge of the Avengers."

Two pairs of incredulous eyes looked at him.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"You heard me – now get moving."

They vanished. Now, that doughnut...