"Arthur, I have something I have wanted to tell you for, well longer than I really want to admit." he would do this, Alfred decided. He didn't want to be a friend anymore.

He would just have to hope and pray Arthur wouldn't hate him for it.

Arthur watched Alfred expectantly, waiting for him to continue. The silence dragged on as multiple expressions passed through Alfred's face, first worry as he bit down on his lower lip, followed by determination as he began to speak and finally fear as he finished talking and looked to Arthur for his response.

"Arthur? Can you say something please? You're freaking me out." he wanted so badly to reach out to the older nation but he was terrified that Arthur would hate him, or be disgusted. If Alfred made him recoil he would never forgive himself, it would ruin everything.

Arthur however just stood there blankly, his eyes had lost focus until he had been snapped back to reality when Alfred spoke again.

"I'm sorry." he sounded so depressed, a hand had lifted up to run through his hair; it was a nervous gesture Alfred had picked up as a young boy.

"Say it again." Arthur whispered refusing to look up.

"I'm sorry. Really I am!"

"Not that part you idiot! What you said... before."Arthur snapped glaring green eyes into blue.

"I love you." the was no hesitation. Alfred was one hundred percent sure of his declaration. "I love you Arthur and," now he faltered as he thought of the consequences, "and I understand that it's wierd and if you don't want to see me or talk to me I get it, I just wanted to tell you because it was killing me inside." all of this came out in a rush leaving the American slightly breathless.

Arthur still didn't say anything just looked at Alfred wide-eyed.

Slowly a small smile curved itself onto Arthur's face.

"This is another one of your jokes isn't it?" the green eyes remained cold as he grinned at Alfred. "Come now America, this isn't the time for joking around and that certainly is not the type of thing to tell someone in jest."

Alfred's stomach dropped and tied itself in knots. Arthur was making a joke of his feelings. He was pushing him aside like a child again.

Without another word Arthur started to stalk by him but Alfred grabbed his arm. For a second Alfred remembered last night when this exact thing had happened when Arthur attempted to avoid the topic, not this time. Alfred would not let him run away anymore. If this ended badly then so be it, but it would end now and not drag on anymore.

"I am not joking Arthur." his lips were against Arthur's ears and despite the dread he felt, his voice was strong and clear.

Arthur turned his head to face Alfred. For just a split second Alfred could glimpse the fear in those vibrant eyes before he shut it out and they became unreadable again.

"This is getting ridiculous, let go of me!" he tried to pull his arm out of the American's grasp but Alfred refused to let go. "America I said let go!" Arthur could feel the panic rising, he needed to get out.

"Not until you listen to me. I don't want to hurt you Arthur so please stop running from me."

The blue eyes Arthur once thought he knew better than his own clouded with determination and for the third time since Arthur had met him, he felt as if those were the eyes of a stranger. In their final confrontation of the revolution those eyes had been filled with righteous anger and a hidden strength Arthur had refused to acknowledge, at the end of the second world war they had darkened with an indescribable pain and aged beyond their years, now they held an emotion Arthur was too afraid to put into words.

Arthur backed away and Alfred let go of his arm.

"Arthur, you may hate me, you may never want to talk to me again but I will make you understand first before you turn away from me." he took a deep breath. "Arthur Kirkland, the human embodiment of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, I have been in love with you for almost a hundred years. I am not kidding," here he frowned slightly before continuing, "trust me this is not something I am taking lightly, I've thought about this for a long time and it has taken a lot to come to terms with it but now I can accept it. However you want to deal with this it will not change. I love you."

Arthur shook his head slowly once. Alfred felt whatever hope he had left crumble and swore his heart actually twisted in his chest painfully. Well at least he had finally told him at least. The feeling of rejection was sharp and painful but less so than the years of torment he had endured up to this point. Or at least it would be when it faded to a point where he could focus on that. He turned away and felt a few tears escape.

"Alfred." Arthur sounded so tentative, almost like he could sense Alfred was about to break apart. "Al, I can't accept that."

Alfred nodded at the floor.

"You won't always feel like that."

Alfred scoffed.

"It wouldn't work."

Alfred's head jerked up. Why didn't it sound like Arthur was saying he didn't feel the same? Was it just Alfred's own desperate wish for that not to be the case?

"Arthur," he prepared himself for the final crushing blow he was sure to receive as answer to his next question, "how do you, feel, about me?" the hope was painfully evident in his voice.

With his back still towards the older nation Alfred couldn't see the wide-eyed terror written across Arthur's face but he could hear the sharp intake of breath. He waited.

"Alfred, I can't!" he pleaded.

When the firm refusal he expected was replaced with this desperate attempt at a dodge Alfred finally turned back to Arthur.

In two long strides he was once again right in front of Arthur. He let the pain and longing and pure love he felt for the other be shown through his eyes and trapped Arthur's panic-stricken gaze with his own. Slowly Alfred raised his hand to cup his face and gently ran his thumb over Arthur's cheek. Alfred's breath caught in his throat when Arthur closed his eyes at the touch and leaned ever so slightly into it.

"Arthur." he whispered in wonder. Green eyes snapped open to look up at him. They were so scared.

"I already lost you once, if you were to hurt me like that again... I have no idea what I would do. If I were to allow myself to... I don't think I could drag myself up from the mud the next time Alfred." his voice cracked slightly.

"There won't be a next time." Alfred promised.

"You say that now, but what about when the next big war breaks out and we are on opposing sides? Nation relationships don't work." despite what he was saying Arthur allowed himself to press against Alfred and an arm wound around his hips, holding him securely against the taller man.

"I will love you even then. This isn't a feeling of a nation Arthur. These are my feelings, and I have never been more sure of them before."

Alfred's blue eyes were honest as they looked into Arthur's. Alfred saw the fear vanish, although some of the doubt remained, as he slowly lowered his head. When Arthur's eyes closed just before their lips met Alfred's heart flipped and beat into overdrive as he pressed them together more firmly and allowed his own eyes to close.

The feeling was overwhelming. Alfred felt... complete.

As they pulled away to look at each other Alfred grinned, it was a small sincerely happy smile that Arthur repaid with a full faced blush before he buried his face into Alfred's shoulder.

Errr...awkward. I just wanted to say if this is totally awful I'm sorry. I have never written anything mushy, or romantic ever so yeah.

Also I want to thank everyone who commented I was soooo happy :D but I wanted to answer the question from the non user (or non logged in user) about mpreg, there is none of it in this story sorry as this would defeat the purpose of nations not having children. :( plus I would suck at writing that though maybe another time I will give it a go.