"Dad," Alexis called out as she knocked on the spare bedroom door and stepped inside to see her father lying in the bed asleep. "Dad," the redhead shouted quickly, watching as her father sat up and glanced at her in exhaustion, his hair all over the place as he glanced at her in silence. "Dad, Kate's screaming," Alexis admitted before her father climbed out of the bed and ran past her in a panic. Running down the stairs two at a time, Rick quickly stepped through his office before pushing his bedroom door open to see the brunette thrashing around in the bed, her screams echoing around the room.
"Kate," Rick soothed as he sat down on the edge of the bed and held her down, desperate to stop her from thrashing around violently. He was worried about her hurting herself and he was even more concerned about what was causing such a reaction. "Kate you need to wake up, Kate please wake up," he panicked, running his hand against her cheek as her eyes quickly opened and her arms moved around his neck. "It's okay, I've got you and no one is ever going to hurt you," he whispered as she sobbed into his neck, her body still violently shaking. "Talk to me Kate, tell me what's wrong," he declared as she remained silent in his arms. "Kate you're shaking, you're shaking so much," Rick whispered as he moved away to look at her, taking in the complete and utter fear that was covering her face as she continued to cry silently. "What's wrong Kate? I've never seen you like this. What's scared you?" he commented before moving out of the way as she leant forward and was suddenly sick. "Okay, we're going to the hospital right now."
"No," Kate shouted, grabbing his arm when he attempted to stand. "I'm sorry, I've made a mess. I'm so sorry," she whispered as he stood up silently and began to remove the duvet, carrying it out of the room as she remained perfectly still on the mattress. "Rick," Kate whispered as he re-entered the room to see her sitting in silence. "Don't take me back to the hospital, I can't go back to the hospital," she muttered nervously as he nodded and moved towards her before sitting down silently. "I don't want to be on my own and you're the only person I've got Rick."
"Kate," Rick said quietly.
"She's dead," Kate sobbed violently as he shut his eyes, realising what had caused the reaction. "I knew something was wrong, she wouldn't just leave me but I convinced myself that she would come back for me. That she there was something stopping her from coming to see me, at least then I had the hope that I still had a family and a home somewhere," Kate admitted quickly, feeling sick again as she thought about her nightmare.
"Did you dream about that night?" Rick asked as she nodded slowly.
"I remember everything Rick," Kate said quietly as the writer pulled her into his arms, cradling her close as she began to sob again. "And the worst bit is that I wasn't unconscious Rick when it happened. I watched my mother bleed to death," she cried as she buried her face into the writer's t-shirt while he pressed a kiss into her dark hair. He wanted to keep her safe; he wanted to make all the memories go away. He wanted to see her laugh and smile again like she'd done when he'd agreed to their date. "They were going to kill me too."
"Kate," Rick said quietly.
"They hit me around the head first, I was unconscious for a little while but when I came round they were stabbing her. They were going to stab me too but there was a noise and they hit me around the head again," she explained, her body shaking violently in his arms as he desperately attempted to think of a way to calm her down. He needed to stop her shaking, he need to calm her down! "Oh god she's dead," Kate sobbed in shock as he rocked her gently. "My mom's dead Rick, she's dead and it's all my fault."
"How is it your fault?" he asked as she glanced up at him.
"I should have saved her, I should have done something but instead I watched as she bled to death right in front of me," Kate cried before Rick slowly cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him.
"You couldn't have done anything Kate. You had a serious head injury and there were two of them," he stated as she bit into her lip, almost cutting it as he shook his head at how terrified she was. "You couldn't have done anything to save her Kate so don't let yourself believe that her death was your fault," he whispered before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Let's get you into a different room, we'll get you comfortable and then I'll call Ryan and Esposito."
"Why?" she asked quietly.
"Because it's their job to find the men who attacked you Kate," Rick explained as he lifted her into his arms and began to carry her out of the bedroom and up the stairs towards the spare room, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Resting her on the bed, Rick watched as she fell back and buried her face into the cushion while he placed the duvet over her.
"I don't want to talk to them Rick," Kate whispered. "I don't want to think about it."
"How about I call them in the morning and you try and get some sleep?" he suggested as she shook her head.
"I can't, I can't shut my eyes and not picture her laying their dead in that alley," she explained as he stood up and moved into the en-suite, reappearing a few moments later with a glass of water and a tablet. "I don't want to take pills."
"You need to sleep and these will help you relax. I promise you no funny side effects, my mother and I both take them when we need to sleep and can't," he explained as she stared down at the pill he was holding out in front of her. "Kate, I need you to take the tablet and get some sleep now," Rick stated as she shut her eyes for a moment. "I won't leave you Kate. I will sit here all night if I have too but you need to sleep."
"I don't want to see it Rick, I don't want to think about it," she whispered as he sighed, watching as she finally took hold of the tablet and slowly put it into her mouth. Swallowing it, Kate slowly relaxed back against the cushions while the writer found her hand and stared at her in silence as she squeezed it in response. "Thank you."
"What for?" Rick questioned as she shut her eyes.
"For being my friend, for looking after me," Kate responded quietly as she slowly began to fall asleep, guilt covering his face as her eyes slowly began to shut. She was in so much pain at learning the truth and he didn't want to imagine what it would be like when she learnt the truth about how much he'd known all along.
XOOXOXOXOXXOOXO
"Detective Ryan, Detective Esposito," Alexis greeted as she opened the door to the two nervous detectives who smiled at her before entering the loft. "They're in the spare room," she stated as they nodded, both thanking her before disappearing up the stairs in search of their colleague. They'd been to the Castle residence enough now to know where the spare room was! Stepping inside the room, Ryan and Esposito both stared at the sleeping brunette and the exhausted writer who was sitting beside her.
"So she remembers?" Esposito asked quickly as Rick nodded. "You didn't tell her?"
"No, she was screaming last night. It all came back to her in the nightmare but she remembers everything that happened," Rick explained as the two men nodded. "I had to give her a sleeping pill just to get her to relax last night," he stated. "I've never seen someone so scared, she was shaking so much and she was sick. She was terrified."
"Castle you should have taken her to the hospital," Ryan observed as Rick shook his head before squeezing Kate's hand in an attempt to wake her up.
"Kate, Ryan and Esposito are here to talk to you about last night," Rick stated as she slowly opened her eyes and stared at the three men who were watching her. "Hi," he said quietly as she smiled weakly.
"Hello," Kate whispered before sitting up slowly and staring at the two detectives. "Let's get this over with," she muttered as they nodded and sat down in the two chairs in the room, watching as Kate glanced down at her lap. "I was attacked first," she said nervously. "They hit me around the head and I was unconscious for a while," Kate explained as Rick continued to hold onto her hand, occasionally squeezing it as she began to cry again. "When I came round, they'd stabbed my mom. I watched her bleed to death. They were going to stab me but something stopped them and they knocked me around the head again," Kate blurted out, her body shaking again as Rick turned to face his two colleagues.
"Have you got everything you need?" Rick asked as they stared at him before nodding, forcing smiles onto their face as Kate fell back against the blankets and turned her head away from them.
"Castle, can we talk outside for a moment?" Esposito asked as he stood up, Kevin doing the same.
"Thank you Miss Beckett," Ryan said quietly before the two detectives walked out of the room.
"I'll be back in a minute," Rick explained as Kate remained still, the writer quickly leaving the room to find the two men waiting for him in the corridor. "What?" he asked.
"She needs to go back to the hospital," Kevin said quickly as Rick glanced back towards the door Kate was hiding behind. "She's not well Castle, I don't think she looked that ill when she woke up," he observed as Rick sighed, knowing that Kevin was right. Kate was sick, anyone could see that and it was mainly because of the shock.
"She doesn't want to go to the hospital; she doesn't like being on her own there. For god's sake she just found out her mother died, I can't leave her on her own. She doesn't have anyone else," Rick responded as the two men sighed.
"You're getting too involved with her Castle," Esposito immediately responded.
"What am I supposed to do? Just leave her? She's terrified, she's just learnt that her mother is dead and all she can remember is watching her mother bleed to death. She blames herself for her death," Rick replied, clearly angry at what the detective had just said. "I'm not leaving her. She trusts me and I won't just abandon her."
"She trusts you?" Javier laughed. "Castle this whole thing is based on a lie. You're investigating her mother's murder; you have been this whole time. You've been lying to her since the moment she woke up. This whole relationship is based on a lie and you think she can trust you," his voice almost shouted as Ryan groaned, knowing that Javier was angry at Castle's behaviour.
"I won't leave her, I won't leave her on her own because I'm the only person she has," Rick stated, his determination obvious as he moved towards the door. "You can show yourselves out?" he asked as Ryan slowly nodded.
"Take her back to the hospital, get her checked over," Ryan ordered as Rick smiled in agreement, watching as the two men disappeared down the stairs. Returning into the bedroom, Rick stood in the doorway and observed the still brunette for a moment before he approached the bed and sat down beside her.
"It's time to go back to the hospital," he said quietly as she shook her head. She couldn't go back. She didn't want to be on her own. They wouldn't let him stay with her! "The doctor needs to check you over Kate, you're not well. You haven't eaten anything," he explained as she remained silent. "You're in shock Kate."
"They won't let you stay," Kate said quietly as he brushed hair away from her face. "They were angry last night when you called saying that I was going to stay here and they won't be happy that I made you keep me here when I started to remember," she explained as he watched her for a moment.
"Kate I won't leave you," he insisted before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead as she remained still.
XOOXOXOXXOXOXO
"Mr Castle," the Doctor called out as Rick raised his head from his hands and stared at the older man who was hovering in the doorway. "You can go and see her now," he stated as Rick stood up and nodded. He'd brought Kate back to the hospital two hours ago and the doctor had quickly appeared, demanding that he wait in the relative's room while they ran some tests and Kate had been rushed away before he got the chance to argue. "We had to sedate her," the doctor explained as they walked down the corridor towards her room.
"Why?" Rick asked, looking up at the other man in shock. Why had they felt the need to do that?
"She was extremely emotional and kept fighting us whenever we attempted to run tests, it was necessary in order to find out if there was anything wrong with her. It's beginning to wear off now however but she should try and get some sleep," he explained before opening the door to Kate's room. "Come and find us if there are any more problems Mr Castle. We're trained to deal with this, you however are not a Doctor," he stated before walking away just as Rick slowly stepped inside the room to see Kate lying in the middle of the bed with her eyes shut.
"Kate," Rick called over, not surprised when there wasn't any response. "I'm sorry Kate, I'm so sorry," he muttered as he sat down on the edge of the bed and found her hands, her eyes slowly opening to stare at him. "Hey," he whispered, forcing a smile onto his face as she glanced at him before looking away. "Kate?" he asked quietly.
"How long have you known?" she asked as confusion covered his face.
"Known about what?" he questioned as she glared back at him, anger covering her face as she snatched her hands away from his. She didn't want him to touch her! She didn't want him anywhere near her!
"How long have you known about my mother?"
I really hate this chapter; I think it's one of the worst I've ever written!
I tried many different ways of her finding out but this was the best one but I still don't like it but hopefully you do. There will be an explanation for how Kate worked it out in the next chapter, if I decide to keep this one of course, so please review with your opinions.