The purple team was on the run; complete with dog tails tucked, blind men leading the dogs and the Sheriff of Piltover struggling up the steps of the base. Warwick looked healthy, Lee Sin looked perturbed and Caitlyn looked like she was on her last leg, if her rifle counted as a leg. Behind the trio, Annie and Tibbers decorated the lane. Lastly, all that was left of Sona at this point, was a silent etwahl, leaned haphazardly against the middle tower. A fed Veigar tended to obliterate things like that.
Leading the charge was Nautilus; anchor hoisted leisurely over one shoulder as he plodded along under the tower. Every once in a while, said tower even booped him. Keeping pace with the behemoth was the Prodigal Explorer, who looked like Warwick had tried using him as a chew toy. Behind him, Udyr flapped his arms and screamed while the Master of Evil waddled about at the rear.
"All of this anger just... it brings me down..." Nautilus stopped moving for a moment and contemplated his existence. Behind him, Veigar slammed to a stop and waved his rod around.
"Was that a short joke?! I'll show you short! I'll have you know..."
"Jeez, relax guys." Ezreal walked by the duo; magic arcing off of his gauntlet. Udyr cawed in response, then flapped incessantly at Caitlyn as she continued to drag herself away. "Yeah, I know. I've got this. Just watch my six."
Sure, his Trueshot Barrage was down, but Arcane Shift was up.
A short blast of raw magic and a split moment later, he was behind the Sheriff. "Sorry Cait." Then, with that, she was down. The disembodied announcer let everyone know an enemy (or an ally) had been slain, then the Explorer turned to rejoin the team.
Except they weren't there.
Ezreal squinted, wondering if he'd somehow missed them somewhere. Logic then dictated that Nautilus was hard to hide. They were gone.
"Uh... guys?"
Then, through the magic of the Rift that allowed teammates to communicate, he found that he could barely discern the sound of Nautilus and Veigar arguing.
"You're just biased against short people!"
"But I got here first."
"Yeah and you know where this rod is going? HUH?"
"All that anger..."
"STOW IT! DISCRIMINATION! SHORT PEOPLE KICKER! MUNCHKIN EATER! PUPPY HATER!"
"That escalated quickly."
"ITS MINE OR I FEED!"
Probably over enemy Golem.
Under his breath, "This is why you don't ever overextend yourself, ya moron..."
Where his teammates had been, there still stood a purple tower. It also stood between him, and getting back to safety. While if he were in better shape, it would be no big deal, better shape was not how he would've described himself. Even 'able to stand' was pushing the envelope. To his right was the enemy inhibitor tower, where Cait's body still laid. He stepped forward, gauging if he could jump the jungle wall safely.
About two seconds later, he sprang backwards, flashing into the wall in the process as Lee Sin came flying into the lane from jungle. Behind him, Warwick clambered about against the stone. Finally, the scrabbling stopped, assumedly because the lycanthrope had discovered he couldn't in fact blink. This was then followed by a throaty chuckle. The Explorer resigned himself to his fate; raising his weapon in a last act of defiance.
From jungle, "Hahah... get cocky, didja? Stuck between the rock and the hard place! Sucker!"
The monk raised a hand in a silencing gesture; not realizing Warwick was still not quite in lane with him. Or paying attention.
"Warwick. Do you see the rest of his team? My summoner believes that something isn't right and feels that it may be a trap."
The blonde frowned. "Great... Rub it in, why don't you."
From the jungle, "Hah! You're pretty screwed, arentcha! Hoping yet your Gem Knight will come and save you, boy?"
Ezreal adopted a look of confusion briefly, before becoming annoyed. "Oh, come on. Not this shit... It's barely even a freakin' rumor, guys. Give it up already."
In Ezreal's defense, Lee Sin nodded and added, making eye contact with no one in particular but trying to anyway, "I believe the Explorer is telling the truth. Taric and Malphite currently are involved, last I've heard. Don't ask me how it works, either. I simply know what I've heard."
"Get off of my anchor, little creature."
"I'M NOT LITTLE! IM A MASTER OF EVIL! EVIL LIKE YOUR FACE!"
"Cawww... ROAR! Dingeringading."
"Udyr, use your people words."
The Blind Monk adopted a pensive look. "That still leaves me to wonder though. Are you involved with... who was it... oh yes. The hemomancer? Vlad."
Even through blood loss, shock and adrenaline, Ezreal still managed to pale slightly. "Like hell I am! No! What just-?! What is wrong with you guys?!"
Slowly but surely, the tower was looking like a good way out. Warwick decided to chime in again, still trying to find a way around the wall without actually walking around the wall.
"Well how about the shiny girl? Uh... Bush boy's sister. She's got a nice ass!" Lee smacked the werewolf through the wall, then turned his attention back to the blonde, who seemed as if he was trying to stealthily back. He immediately ceased to blue pill.
"Well... I mean, it could... but Garen. Seriously. Who the hell would want that guy as an in-law?"
Discordant music interrupted the conversation, as Sona made her way in and attempted to add her indiscernible opinion. At this, Ezreal's shoulders dropped. There was no way he could back at this point, so he opted to sit down, instead. At least the world would stop it's crazed spin.
From the enemy base, Annie babbled about Tibbers and danced with minions.
"So, then who are you with? We all know you're not single." The monk stated the last sentence with a degree of confidence in his tone.
"No, really. I'm a loner." The edge of defensiveness that crept into his voice probably gave him away, but it was worth the try.
From the inhibitor tower came a confident, accented voice that belonged very much to Caitlyn. "Perhaps I could take a shot at this." The hint of a smile played at her lips.
Ezreal leaned back, stiffening slightly. "Please don't." She wouldn't, would she? He briefly sized her up. She would. Shit. He staggered to his feet, ready to face the tower. Or death by whoever hit him first.
"An enemy has been slain."
"What the fu-..." Warwick's expletive was cut short by something that sounded like a house falling. On him.
"Take this!" From behind the wall, chunks of dirt, stone and tower flew into the air, along with patches of fur and what might have resembled a once-furry leg. The tower that had inhibited Ezreal's escape earlier was now mysteriously missing.
Next, Piltover's Enforcer hit the wall rather hard, sent the monk into the air, then crashed down on top of him in a flurry of what could only have been called excessive force.
"Double kill!"
Sona plunked on the instrument in a panic and sped away to hide behind Vi's boss, who looked rather agitated. Annie stopped dancing to shout, "OH MY GOD, SHE'S SO OP!" to which, Vi responded with, "Better nerf Irelia!" then followed it with a flying Lee Sin body aimed in Annie's general direction.
"Triple kill!"
She advanced on Sona and her boss; the glint of violence in her eyes.
Cait then stepped forward, looking all businessy and seriousness. "Well, at the very least I might as well finish what we started." Her bead fell on Ezreal, who didn't stand much of a chance. He yelped as she fired. Vi charged; taking the bullet and barely flinching in the process. "Hahah... Nope!"
Cait dropped a snap trap, then blasted a net at the punchy lady, throwing herself back in the process. "Don't think it'll be so easy, Vi."
A laugh was elicited from the pink-haired girl. "Didn't expect it to be, cupcake." The trap was easy to avoid, although the pastry did look delicious. Fighting the urge to pick it up, Vi stepped around it and smashed the tower, accidentally killing Sona in the process of punching things.
"An enemy has been slain!"
"Aw, come on, no quadra? Laaame."
Then, with Vi's more punching of things inanimate, Caitlyn took advantage of the situation and landed a few good shots on the woman. The two took to exchanging insults and blows, one type ranged and one type to the face. At last, the two backed off of one-another, both looking worn down.
Vi wiped a trail of blood from the corner of her mouth, then spat what could only have been more blood. "Close. But I'm gonna win this one, Cait."
The Sheriff 'hmph'ed, taking aim and firing another shot. It lodged in the Enforcer's shoulder, garnering a pained look and a short cry that quickly turned into a growl. "You know, I was close to telling them."
The Enforcer paused. "Telling them what?"
Caitlyn smiled. "You know exactly what. He should also learn to behave himself better."
Vi gave a curt laugh. "I'll bet that went over well."
The Sheriff shrugged. "I thought he was going to physically hug our tower, until you removed it. How did you do that, exactly? I'm rather certain it's considered mechanical abuse, whatever you did."
"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, cupcake."
"An Ally as been slain."
From the jungle, a purple cloud of smog rose.
Caitlyn laughed. "There goes your boyfriend. Though... I didn't realize we had a Teemo."