Chapter 12: Are We Still Friends?

Ben's POV

It has been an extremely difficult day. The recued mission for the harnessed kids took much longer than we expected. Another massive fight was ensued with the skitters and mechs. A few of our fighters were injured but not serious. Upon arriving at camp, under Colonel Weaver's order, we went straight to the meeting room. Dad explained there were some aliens' activities spotted not too far from our camp. We knew it was Karen. She still wanted to form the alliance with us. Of course, this will never happen. Dad and Colonel Weaver will not agree to it. We knew Karen and the Overlord will take over and wipe out the entire nation if we join with them. We knew too that Karen would use force if we do not agree so we have to be ready to fight. After the meeting, Denni and I sped off to scout the new aliens' activities to report back any new findings. By the time we arrive back at camp, it was already dark. I went straight to the rooftop. I hope she was still there although I was already 15 minutes late.

She was still there. I was relieved. She turned around the moment she heard footsteps behind her. She gave me a faint smile and returned her gaze to the skies. She loves to do that when she was lost for words or she has nothing to say. Most of our time spent together on the rooftop was with her starring at the darkened sky while I did most of the talking and I am not someone who talks a lot so imagine the silence between us. But that's not a problem for us. We just enjoyed each other's company and knowing that each other is near.

I walked towards to where she was sitting and sat next to her. Tonight unlike any other nights, I felt tension between us or maybe I have imagined it. We can't pretend that the kiss didn't happen because it did happen. I didn't just kiss anybody. It was Kym….my best friend. The girl who has spent almost all the time with me since the invasion. The girl who was supportive and understood my dilemma and problems. The girl who brought hopes to my life in this harsh world that we live in now.

'Kym, let's talk about what happened the other day when we….,' I just don't know how to say it. I felt awkward and I know she feels it too.

'Ok. Let's talk about it,' she said without any hint of embarrassment. I was glad.

I took a deep breath and said 'I'm sorry if I startled you that day but I am not sorry that I kissed you. I wanted you to know that the kiss wasn't impulsive although I didn't plan it. I was glad it happened.' Kym was quiet and seems to be finding the right word to say. I took the opportunity to continue.

'I don't even know when my feelings for you have started but those feelings leading up to that day when we kiss, it does not happened overnight. When you were captured by Karen and was badly injured, I realized I cared more about you than I should. It terrifies me to think I almost lost you. After the whole thing was over, my feelings for you have evolves. It's not just as simple as a love for a friend but something more. And that day when I kissed you, it felt so right.'

'I'm sorry Ben,' she said after a moment of hesitation.

'You regretted that you kissed me back?' I asked, feeling hurt.

'No! Never! I am sorry that things between us are changing. I am unsure of my feelings towards you. I like you..a lot. Maybe even more than a friend that I might not even realized it until recently but I don't think I want our friendship to change. I don't want to start a relationship. Not now.' She turned to me and there was this sadness and pain on her face. I raised my hand and smooth the frown off her face. She smiled at this gesture. Such beauty. Why haven't I noticed that before?

'You don't have to apologize for that! But why?' I asked. I wanted to know.

Kym's POV

It's killing me to tell him I don't want to start a relationship with him when my heart is screaming at me to do otherwise. I have started to feel differently about him too only recently during the times he was injured. That feeling of losing him terrifies me. The thought of not able to see him again, not able to have him by my side were scary. I have not admitted it myself too that I felt something for him. And when he kissed me that day, I completely lost it so I kissed him back. Now, at this present moment, how do I tell him that I care for him and love him without hurting his feelings?

'I am not sure how to tell you this but I am not very optimistic about our lives at the moment. We have been fighting for the past three years and we have lost so many people whom we love and care,' I said with so much pain in my voice. I can't help it. This is exactly how I was feeling at the moment. Our lives have been robbed off by this invasion. When Ben was silent, I continued.

'I am not confident at all with our future. I am not even sure if there's going to be a future for anyone of us here in the 2nd Mass.' I know I am contradicting myself. I remembered how I have always looked at Tom and Anne, and Hal and Maggie and said to myself that love is what gives us hope. Love is what keeps us going. But when it comes to me, I am afraid to love. More importantly I am afraid to lose this love thus it's better not to love at all. I might regret this in the future but right now, I am afraid.

'I know exactly how you feel,' Ben said as he pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back. There were just so much emotions running in my head at that moment.

Ben's POV

I don't feel it was right of me to push her when she is not ready for a relationship. I don't blame her. Our lives right now are uncertain and unpredictable. She is scare, frightens and terrifies although she fails to see that she is a strong person inside. At least she is confronting her fears and not denying them. She is being true to herself although she didn't see it doesn't have to be this way.

'I know exactly how you feel. I feel it too but I even in this cruel and harsh world that we live in we can still find hope in each other. Love can still exist,' I said. I don't expect this will change her mind immediately but I wanted her to know that's not the end yet. Because I care so much for her I am willing to release her from the dilemma.

'I know, Ben. I know but not now,' she said as I stroke her hair. I released her from our hugs and looked right into her eyes.

'I know what you are thinking. Don't because nothing will break our friendships, ok,' I said with confident and that made her smile. I am sure she thought our friendship will be over after this conversation. I am not a selfish and inconsiderate guy.

'Thank you,' she said softly.

'For what?'

'For being so understanding,' she said.

'Are we still friends?' she asked.

'Nope!' I said and I almost chuckled when I saw her eyes grew big.

'We are best friends,' I quickly added. She delivered a soft punch on my shoulder. I did the same to her and we smiled.

How can I let go of this friendship when she means so much to me? I thought silently to myself.