* 13 14 15 *
He lies there on the shady roughened planks in the doorway and listens as the jaunty beat of Nami's heels counterpoints the knocking of Usopp's hammer, the heels rap-rap-rapping each step as she climbs to Robin's side, the hammer tap-tap-tapping the Merry's hull in tireless labor. With the glow of the sun, a cozy warm hearth just out of reach, and the gentle push of the ocean's tide rocking Merry in its sleepy midday cradle, Luffy slips in and out of a doze, just enough of a drowse to ignore the plaintive gurgles of his stomach, humming a quiet tune to the soft lilting murmur of his ladies' voices.
The stairs on Luffy's other side creak under heavier footfalls, bare feet, from the soft thump and scuff of toughened soles, and he knows it's Zoro before he even tilts his head to check.
His swordsman glances down at him as he hops off the last step, rubbing a towel slowly back and forth behind his neck. He shakes his head but Luffy sees the slight upward quirk of his lips before Zoro turns away and crosses the deck to the hatch to the men's room.
He bends and pulls the door up, puts one foot down on the ladder - then he looks down and freezes.
Luffy rolls onto his stomach to get a more comfortable view because, instead of climbing down the ladder, Zoro steps back up onto the deck and slides down the mast to sit on the deck by the open hatchway.
Zoro slides the towel up the back of his head and lets it hang down in his face. By all appearances, he drops off to sleep in seconds and Luffy stifles a snort behind a hand, because his hair bristles up around the edges of the towel like wind-tousled grass.
Even though Luffy lies in the shade, he can feel the heat radiating off the sun-baked planks, and Zoro's tanned skin still glistens with sweat from his routine, droplets pooling against the ridges of his collarbones and catching on the jagged line of scar tissue - but his swordsman slouches against the mast and soaks up the sun anyway. He's even leaning ever so slightly toward the sun, like a plant hungry for nutrients.
Luffy pulls the picture dial out. He sneaks a peek at Nami and Robin above, but they have their heads together, whispering and giggling about something, and Zoro is so relaxed that his head is nodding, so he lifts the dial up.
With the sunshine glowing down on Zoro, Luffy can almost imagine flowers bursting forth from the prickly green pasture of his head and he's snorting so hard with barely suppressed laughter that he can't even keep the dial still.
He sucks in a deep breath to steady himself, eyes watering with the effort to withhold giggles, and presses the button.
"I do feel kind of sorry for him," Nami's voice murmurs from above. Luffy tucks the dial under his chin and squashes his face against the planks to muffle his chortling - it wouldn't do for him to draw Nami's attention.
When he peeks up at them, though, Nami and Robin are still communing cheek-to-cheek, quieter now so he can't even hear what they're talking about. Whatever it is, it must be funny, because he hears an undercurrent of mirth in Nami's fast clipped speech, and Robin lifts a hand from her book to hide her smile as it widens into a grin.
The opportunity is too tempting to let pass - Luffy scuttles forward on his elbows, inch by inch until he's in the sunlight with a better angle. He lies close to the planks and twists around, just a little - he can't be too obvious - he's getting better at this, he knows -
He snaps the shot and throws himself back to the planks, one hand with the dial shoved down the neck of his sweater - and not a second too soon because Nami and Robin straighten in their seats.
Nami stands and steps over to the railing. Her gaze fixes on him and for a moment her brow furrows - was he too obvious? Luffy's heart pounds an uneasy tempo against the deck - but then the frown lifts and she winks.
She lifts her hands to cup her mouth and calls, "Sanji-kun~ where are~ you?"
There's a muffled thump before she's even finished her summons, followed by a low curse, made indistinct by distance.
"Cook-san," Robin joins in with a softer entreaty.
Another stifled curse, and Luffy thinks it's belowdeck - far enough away that Nami doesn't seem to have heard it.
It's Sanji, all right, and his voice rises to just within deciphering range as he shouts, "Dammit, Chopper, can we do this later? The Ladies need~ me!"
"That's weird," Nami says from above, "usually he comes dancing when we need something." She exchanges a shrug with Robin.
"Perhaps he went below for a rest and became entangled in his hammock. I do hope he hasn't choked to death."
"Robin!"
The thought alone makes Luffy break out in a sweat, or maybe that's the sun too warm on his back. No need to worry, though, he can still hear Sanji grouching, and Chopper's smaller voice, high with protest. They must be in the men's room belowdeck - down the hatchway blocked by Zoro's snoring bulk.
Well, maybe if he's careful enough…
Luffy crawls forward hand over hand until he reaches Zoro. Gently, gently - well he thinks he's being gentle as he clambers into Zoro's lap. Zoro grunts and shifts to accommodate the sudden weight - but he doesn't open his eyes or shove him off, and Luffy releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
"San~ji-kun," Nami calls again, "isn't it time for a snack~"
"A cup of coffee would be wonderful right about now~" Robin chimes in.
There's a thud from below, and another curse, more distinct now that Luffy's closer to the open hatch. Luffy wriggles forward a few inches across Zoro's legs but freezes when his swordsman starts grumbling.
He can just make out the squabbling belowdecks but he doesn't want to wake up Zoro so he lies there, slack as a slab of juicy red meat waiting to be grilled - he's salivating just thinking about it - straining to hear over Nami's repeated calls.
The sun blazes down on his back and sweat beads up hot along his spine under the layers of his vest and sweatshirt. Zoro's even warmer under him - his thighs seem to radiate heat against his cheek and abdomen, like Sanji's oven just before dinnertime and that starts his stomach complaining again, deep rumbly growls that reverberate through his whole torso.
He tries to suppress his reflexive groan so he can listen to the argument below, but it still comes out as a low whiny keen.
"Let go, Chopper," Sanji growls, his voice rising to Luffy's ears, "the Ladies need me!" followed by grunts and what sounds like fingers scrabbling at wood.
"Not until - I'm done with you - they won't," Chopper wails and Luffy can hear his hooves scratching and thumping the planks as they wrestle below. "Why are you struggling so much? Dammit - Sanji - sit down - please. Even Zoro didn't give me this much trouble!"
The scuffle and scrambling drops off immediately without even a curse. Luffy claps a hand over his mouth to stifle a giggle as he imagines Sanji's face: his cook holding a frustrated breath, his curly brow twitching and face flushing with chagrin.
Below, Chopper puffs out, "Thank you," the pitchy edge of exasperation leaving his voice with the gusty exhalation. "Sit over here, please."
Sanji sighs, and the planks creak and settle under his weight, but his cook's footsteps are soft - not the usual tap and click of Sanji's dress shoes. Is he barefoot? Luffy braces his toes against the deck and pushes himself forward, a few more inches, a few more, reaching for the edge of the hatchway -
He's halfway off Zoro's lap with his fingers curled around the frame of the hatch when a hand falls heavy on his back and snags the waistband of his pants. Familiar rough knuckles rasp against the small of his back.
"Luffy," Zoro rumbles, "leave off, would you?" Luffy cranes his head around and looks up at his swordsman - but Zoro hasn't even opened his eyes.
Luffy strains against his grasp, using his grip on the hatch as leverage to stretch forward, but Zoro holds him fast.
He'll have to stretch right out of his pants if he wants to reach Sanji.
He tightens his hold on the hatch's frame and drags himself forward, letting his torso stretch further and further away from Zoro's lap and his trapped legs. He wants to whine at Zoro, but he's nodded off again and Luffy's so close and he doesn't want Sanji, or Chopper with his superior hearing, to catch on -
It only takes a handful of seconds but by the time he's stretched his torso over to the hatchway, he's huffing and puffing and trembling with the effort of keeping himself extended. Chopper did tell him not to strain himself - but he'll be damned if he's going to let getting frozen into stasis by that ice bastard slow him down, even if his bones do ache and his muscles shake with every inch he stretches, and his skin burns like it's not quite as stretchy as usual -
He props his elbows in the corners of the open hatch so he can rest without fighting the recoil of his own rubbery body. Zoro's grip is still firm even though he's snoring again, but maybe he can get a little closer.
Luffy wriggles his legs forward another inch - then he freezes because his pants slip down around his pelvis, pinching at his hips - any more shifting and he'll slingshot right out of them.
"Luffy," Nami calls from above, "what are you doing?"
Luffy tilts his head so he can see her from his precarious perch in the hatchway. He holds a finger up to his lips and hisses a "Shhhh," at her, maybe a little louder than necessary. Nami furrows her brow at him but leans against the railing and waits.
He dips his head back down into the hatch, trying to keep off to the side until he locates Sanji sitting on the cushioned bench at the sunken table in his underwear, Chopper at his feet, massaging Sanji's right thigh with what smells like the same ointment he used on Zoro earlier. Even from up in the hatch, Luffy can smell the bitter salve.
Luffy shifts over to lean against the other edge of the hatch, so the two can't see him even if they look up, and reaches into the front of his sweatshirt for the picture dial.
Sanji's quiet but when Luffy cranes his head around the edge of the hatchway, he can tell he's gritting his teeth - his jaw juts and the muscles in his cheek jump as Chopper digs his hooves into the frost-burnt skin of Sanji's lower thigh and knee.
"Are you done yet?" Sanji asks, a hiss between his clenched teeth.
"Almost," Chopper replies without looking up from his work. "Does it hurt?"
Sanji's automatic answer is, "It's fine," but then, after a moment of Chopper's rough, hoofed kneading, he adds, "Your hooves are damned sharp, though."
"I'm sorry but I have to make sure I get your knee good, okay? Or your joint won't mend well. Do you want to be a cripple for the rest of your life?"
Sanji doesn't answer. He just closes his eyes and leans into the bench's back - and even though the tension in his jaw ruins the picture of relaxation, Luffy has to bite down on his lip to stop from laughing - because Sanji's underwear has little pink hearts on it and when will he ever get an opportunity like this again -
Luffy keeps his elbows firmly in place and lifts the dial to his face, snorts burbling past his teeth as he snaps a shot.
"Alright, I'm done, I just need to wrap it now," Chopper says, wiping his hooves on a towel before picking up a roll of elastic bandages.
"Shit, Chopper, I don't need any - "
"Your knee needs to be wrapped," Chopper snaps. He starts bandaging the knee with a few quick, tight motions before Sanji can try to pull away. The little reindeer pauses and Luffy catches the glint of the black-eyed glare he gives Sanji. "And don't you dare remove it. I'm not kidding, Sanji, you need to take it easy or you could damage your tendons more than they - "
"Alright, alright, I get it, just make it damn quick, would you?"
Chopper bends back to his work, but Luffy can hear him grumbling as he wraps the rest of the knee and secures the elastic end with a pair of pins. Then he passes to Sanji a black open cylinder of padded cloth that Luffy thinks might look like Ace's elbow guard, only bigger. Sanji stares at it but doesn't take it.
Chopper shakes it at him. "It's a knee brace - "
"I know what the shitty thing is!"
"Well put it on then!"
"I don't fuckin' need it."
Chopper narrows his eyes at him. "Yes, you do. Doctor's orders. Put it on, now."
Sanji growls a wordless oath and snatches the proffered brace. He's still grousing under his breath as he pulls it up his leg.
"You know, you could rub the salve in yourself," Chopper says as he adjusts the brace's straps so it's nice and snug, "but it's better if someone else does it because you really need to massage it deep and it's going to hurt. Maybe you and Zoro can apply it on each other - "
Sanji nearly shrieks, "I'd rather cut off my own damn leg than massage that stupid shitty swordsman's arm!"
Luffy hears a snort behind him, then choking and coughing, and he's got tears in his eyes from trying so hard not to laugh.
Chopper shrugs and passes Sanji a tub of the salve. "This needs to be applied three times a day, and I don't care who you ask but you better bet a whole pack of those awful cigarettes I'll be checking! And for both our sakes please keep it wrapped!"
It's as good a time as any, before Sanji really blows his top - Luffy shoves the dial down his sweatshirt again, steadies his grip on the frame of the hatch and stretches his head down into the men's room.
"San~ji~!" he yells, startling both his cook and the doctor. "There you are~! I've been looking for you for hours! I'm hungry, feed me!"
Sanji jumps up from his seat and reaches for his pants, quick as lightning, but he grimaces openly as he straightens up. "Fuck, hold your shitty horses a minute, Luffy, I can barely walk with this damn thing."
"But I've already waited," Luffy moans, "for hours."
"At least let me put my fuckin' pants on!"
Luffy laughs but his head snaps back to his torso and smacks against the frame of the hatch, knocking his hat clear off. "Ooowww," he groans, even though it doesn't really hurt.
Chopper catches his hat as it floats down. "Luffy, you shouldn't be stretching so much," he says with a small frown. "You've got burns too, you know. Don't make me lather you too."
Luffy sticks his tongue out. "You can try."
Chopper runs a hoof up his arm like he's rolling up a sleeve, but as he opens his mouth to reprimand his careless patient, Sanji limps by and claps a hand on the ladder. "Ah - Sanji, stop! You shouldn't be climbing any ladders or stairs - "
Sanji pauses, his bad leg already propped on the first step. "How the fuck else do you expect me to get around this damn ship?"
"The rest of us can help, but you really shouldn't use that le - "
"I'll help!" Luffy exclaims and before Chopper has fully comprehended what this entails, he stretches one arm back and slings it down, latching onto Sanji's forearm.
Sanji has one brief second of understanding, in which his eyes fly wide open and his cigarette drops from where he's been grinding it between his teeth, before Luffy's arm recoils, flinging himself and his cook up through the hatch and into Zoro's lap.
Between Zoro's outraged shouts, Sanji's hair-curling profanities and his own cackling laughter, Luffy can't even hear Chopper's squeals.
"That is not the kind of help I meant!"
-x-
(A/n) I hope you guys enjoyed! This chapter gave me a lot of trouble (and it's long) but I'm satisfied with the way it turned out~ Again, please don't expect me to update every day, because you'll be lucky if I update every week. I write these for fun and I have original stuff to work on too, so please have patience. If you want to catch snippets of in-progress chapters, skip on over to my writing blog (the link is in my profile). Thanks for sticking with me~
- Weiss