Hours passed and the crew inevitably began to stir. As soon as the lights in the Med-Bay lit up, Shepard dumped her dishes in the sink and headed for the ladies room. Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror, she did a double take. James was being polite when he said she looked tired. Very polite.

Her face twisted up in disgust at herself for letting personal hygiene fall so completely off of the radar, and as she untangled her hair, brushed her teeth, and took a brief shower, her disgust turned to annoyance aimed at any and all organic life that didn't need to bathe, or could at least go without for a little while and not turn into a caveman.

The shower finished waking her up and motivated the female hiding somewhere deep within to put some effort into her appearance for the first time in months. She strode into the Observation deck toweling at her hair and stripped out of yesterday's clothes for the final time, putting on a black bra and panty set in their place. She stopped to stare at her reflection for the second time that morning, happier with the Lillian that was now looking back at her. Scars littered her pale skin from head to toe, and she'd lost some muscle mass in the past few months… but she still looked pretty good, and she turned from side to side to admire herself from different angles.

She'd never been a girly-girl, inside or out. In fact, if she had kept her hair short while growing up, she may have passed for Greg's little brother rather than sister. At the start of puberty, she began wearing more form-fitting clothes, but she didn't have much of a form to speak of. It wasn't until high school that she grew into some curves, particularly in the waist area. She had never had large breasts but she was thankful for that while serving in the Alliance. It certainly made her armor more comfortable, and the male recruits more tolerable…

She was still flat-chested and her ass wasn't nearly as impressive as Miranda's, but she figured she could look a lot worse in her underwear at twenty-seven. Maybe one day it would serve for more than a momentary boost in self-esteem. Yeah right.

She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth as she tried to remember the last time she was with a man in any sort of intimate setting. She could vaguely recall drinks with a C-Sec officer in Flux many years prior… He left with a scantily-clad asari after she beat him at arm-wrestling. Most of the dates she had been on ended similarly. Her tomboyish behavior always got in the way of her femininity and she'd eventually learned to embrace it. In any case, dating was the last of her concerns in her line of work…

She padded over to the shuttered windows and slapped her palm on the control button, watching the metal sheets retreat upwards to reveal a lush, animated forest on the other side of the glass. She leaned into the smooth surface and pressed her forehead against it, watching the greenery sway in the wind, and small creatures scuttle around the enormous trees… She smiled despite the thoughts scuttling around in her head.

Work had always kept her busy and given her purpose. But now, stranded on this unknown planet, in some unknown corner of a Universe that was almost certainly safe once more, she realized that she was completely alone. As soon as the Normandy was off of this rock, each member of the crew would return to what was left of their families, partners, home worlds, houses… And she didn't even have the job that she'd sacrificed the possibility of a normal life for.

That realization did nothing to motivate her to, as Garrus had put it, 'take control and assume responsibility'. If she was stuck on this planet for the rest of her life, it would make no difference to her or anyone else.

Her lungs emptied on a shaky sigh as she moved away from the window to get dressed in a simple long-sleeved black tee and pants, marking the end of her allotted vanity for the day. She let her chin-length hair air-dry in layered waves while she applied a little bit of mascara to her long eyelashes, and that was it; all of the girliness she could muster. It was still a vast improvement upon her earlier appearance.

The view out of her window had her itching to go outside and get off of the ship for a while, but she wasn't completely reckless. She'd need to question EDI about the nature of this strange planet before heading out, and maybe she'd uphold her promise to James beforehand. And maybe, just maybe, she'd suck up her pride and check on the status of the ship and it's crew members. She didn't have to be completely useless…

Since Greg had loaded her into Vega's arms during the run to the beam, Ashley had barely slept a wink. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw those frosty blue irises staring back at her, a storm of conflicted feelings brewing within them.

"I love you," he asserted, briefly taking her hand in his. "I'll always love you, Ash."

She wanted to stay strong for him and bit the inside of her cheek to keep the tears that were welling in her eyes from overflowing. "No, I can do this!" she insisted, shaking her head and reaching out for him.

"Don't argue with me." It was intended to sound firm, but was pleading instead. He wanted her with him, more than anything, but it wasn't an option. She had to make it out of there alive. He tore his eyes away from her and looked to James. "Take care of her." It wasn't a request, and James nodded before leading Ashley up the ramp.

Greg moved back and motioned for the Normandy to take off. "Go!" he yelled, stealing one last look at his girl as the shuttle bay door began to close. Just before he turned away, she managed to whisper "I love you," and he smiled.

The crew was hesitant to tell her about the Crucible exploding after the fact, but they were left with little choice when the Normandy crashed. She was devastated, but she wasn't surprised. They both knew the mission's likely outcome; it was why he left her behind… But she'd allowed herself to hope for his safe return, and that was foolish.

The last thing he would want her to be doing is lying around feeling sorry for herself, but she was having to constantly remind herself of that. She blinked at his side of the bed and reached out to run her fingers over his pillow before sitting up and kicking the covers into a wad at the end of the bed, feeling suddenly claustrophobic.

She had to get up. She had responsibilities. Giving up and wasting away wasn't an option, though she'd be lying to say that the idea wasn't tempting from time to time.

She crawled off of the bed and stretched out before lazily tugging the covers back into place. The crumpled, un-tucked, lopsided bedding caused her OCD to tick instinctively, but she forced herself to let it be. Just as she was turning for the stairs, the door flashed to inform her of someone's presence outside. Assuming it was James, she gave her visitor access, but the short, dark-featured female who stepped in took her by surprise.

The female version of her dead lover was the last person she expected to see, especially after she'd shut herself away for days on end. Looking at her made her heart hurt. The Shepard siblings resembled each other in many ways; light skin, coffee colored hair, thin facial features… The only big difference was their eyes; Lillian's were an oceanic mix of blue and green, with a dark ring around the irises. Greg's were an icy blue that sparkled when he was happy and put the fear of God in you when he was upset.

"Lil," Ashley breathed, crossing her arms over her chest subconsciously. "What are you doing here?" For the reclusive Commander to be out and about, and dressed, Ashley assumed this visit was more important than a simple house call.

Lillian shot Ash a curious look and gave the cabin a quick once-over. It looked the same, save for Greg's childish model ship collection displayed proudly around the desk, and the framed holos cluttering up every table surface. "Do I have to have a reason?" she asked, plucking one of the frames off of the desk and blinking at the photo of her brother and Ashley smiling brightly at the camera, apparently taken at some Alliance function.

Ashley shook her head. "I guess not. I'm just surprised to see you." She stepped over to the sofas and waved for the Commander to follow her.

Shepard set the photo back down and trailed after her, taking a seat on the unclaimed sofa. "Vega asked me to check on you," she confessed, shrugging a shoulder up somewhat guiltily. No point in beating around the bush.

Of course he did. A knowing smile played at Ashley's lips as she nodded. Since Greg had told the Marine to take care of her, he'd done little else, and she appreciated it. He didn't crowd her, or offer her bullshit condolences, and whenever she'd spontaneously burst into tears, he wouldn't say a word. He gave her space to grieve, but he was always within reach.

"So…" Shepard started, twiddling her thumbs. "How are you holding up?" The question sounded more indifferent than she'd meant it to and she mentally berated herself. She truly felt bad for Ash, but she didn't think she was well-equipped to console anyone, least of all Greg's girlfriend. It felt wrong to offer her a shoulder to cry on when she wasn't even grieving her own flesh and blood.

Ashley glanced down at her lap with a broken expression. There was so much troubling her, where to begin? She knew that listening to someone spill their guts was probably the last thing Lillian wanted to be doing, and that she was probably only there in the first place to appease Vega… but she couldn't keep everything bottled up for much longer. She needed to unload on someone, and Lil made the most sense. Even though they didn't always see eye-to-eye, and Greg and his sister were from completely different ends of the spectrum, Ashley had always considered the Commander to be like an adopted sister. And especially now that her own sisters were out of reach…

She sighed and sunk lower in her seat. "I never thought he wouldn't come back, you know? He always came back. He always found a way out." She bent her legs against her chest and pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly. "I just can't believe he's really gone…" she whispered, shaking her head. "And I'm afraid." Her voice shook on the word, as if she'd never said it aloud before now, and Shepard wouldn't doubt that. "For the first time since my dad died, I'm just… afraid."

Shepard shifted in her seat uneasily and reached out to place her hand on Ashley's knee. She knew nothing she could say would help, but saying anything would be better than sitting in awkward silence. "I'm sure everything will be okay… Once we get back into Citadel space, you ca-"

"Lil… I'm not afraid for me," she blurted, shooting the other an apologetic look for the blatant rudeness. Before being asked to clarify, she took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "I'm pregnant."

The words bounced around in Shepard's brain, refusing to be absorbed. Her head cocked to the side slightly as she rolled the syllables around in her mouth. Pregnant? What's pregnant? There's no such thing as children. "You're… pregnant? Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered quickly, causing Shepard to flinch; at the certainty of the answer or the answer itself, she didn't know. Ashley looked like she was struggling with the news as well, but she'd known for weeks. She'd had plenty of time to get comfortable with the idea under normal circumstances, but these circumstances were anything but. She could still remember Greg's face when she told him.

"The Geth and the Quarians working together… Amazing," he snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. They had just returned to the Normandy after a successful mission on Rannoch and he was in a good mood; a rarity these days with the Reapers looming over him.

He tugged on a pair of sweats and moved into the bathroom, all the while oblivious to his girlfriend lurking in the doorway. She knew it was time to tell him. She'd had a close call with a geth hunter in the Reaper base, and if Tali hadn't seen it coming up behind her… She shuttered thinking of the possibilities.

Greg was still rambling on when she snapped back to attention. "Too bad about Legion… Even Tali was sad to see him go," he muttered, splashing water on his face.

"Greg."

He poked his head out of the bathroom and finally noticed her leaning against the fishtank, wringing her hands. "Yes?" His brow furrowed when she crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him.

"I have to tell you something. But you can't overreact."

He smirked. "Me? Overreact? Who do you think you're talking to?" He walked over and pulled her into his arms, relieved when she didn't try to wiggle out of them. That was always a good sign. "You know you can tell me anything," he murmured, placing an affectionate kiss on the top of her head.

She leaned into him and nestled her head against his collar, inhaling his musky scent. "I went to see Dr. Chakwas recently."

Concern crossed his face as he traced small circles on her back, observing how tense she felt. "Are you sick or something?"

"No, I'm… pregnant." She swallowed nervously after spitting it out, and though she felt a weight lift off of her shoulders instantly, his lack of a response unnerved her. "The Doc confirmed it…" she whispered, refusing to look up at him.

When he finally did speak, he didn't sound as happy as she'd hoped. "What do you mean she confirmed it? When did you suspect it?"

She bit down on her bottom lip and shrugged, unsure of how to read his tone of voice for once. "I don't know; a couple of weeks ago," she answered softly, bracing for his response.

He was quiet for what felt like ages, but then he reacted just the way she thought he would. "You've known for two weeks? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She opened her mouth to answer but then he pulled away, wide-eyed with realization. "You've been out on the field for two weeks, with a baby… our baby in there? Getting shot at?!"

Ashley pushed away from the wall and marched towards their bed. "I wasn't sure! I didn't want to sit up here waiting to find out, and I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure!"

He stopped pacing along the upper floor and frowned down at her. One look at her hunched-over form was all it took to subdue his anger, and he sighed. Now he understood why she'd seemed so rattled on the shuttle ride back to the ship, and that same emotion was clear on her face now.

"So you're sure now?" he questioned softly, walking up behind her and lifting her into his arms. The gesture won him a weak smile as he laid her down on the bed and curled up against her, pressing his lips to her jaw. He ran one of his hands down the length of her body and paused over her stomach, rubbing his thumb over the flat surface. "And you're sure it's mine?" he teased, grinning at her.

She kicked his leg playfully, but her smile became strained and inevitably turned down. She appreciated his attempt at humor, but there were so many fears buzzing around her brain. "Greg…" she whispered sadly, biting the inside of her cheek to get a grip. "What about the war? The Reapers? We might not even survi-"

He cut her off mid-sentence by taking hold of her chin and forcing her to look at him. "Stop." He could read the worry in her eyes as they began to pool and he reached up with one hand to wipe away the few tears that managed to leak out. "We're going to win, Ash. We'll be okay. I promise."

Her smile slowly returned as he kissed her, and she tried to push her worry to the back of her mind. His usual confidence was amplified in that moment; how could she not believe him?

"I'm nearly a month in… And I don't know how I'm going to do this by myself." She remembered the handful of nights her and Greg laid in bed wondering if it would be a boy or a girl, discussing baby names, bickering over family names… as if all was right in the Universe, and there was no imminent threat of being wiped out by a synthetic race. Now it was all up to her.

Lillian fell back into her seat rigidly, her discomfort somehow multiplying. She hoped it wasn't as apparent as she felt it might be. "Did Greg know?" She assumed so, but felt the need to ask anyway.

Ashley nodded and the remnants of a smile painted her face for the first time since Lil came up. "Oh yeah. He was excited to be a dad…" She didn't know what was worse: that he'd never get the chance, or that their child would never know him personally.

Sensing Shepard's obvious unease, Ashley wiped her eyes and sat up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drop that all on you. It's just that everyone's going to find out sooner or later, and you're the only family Greg had left. I want that to mean something."

Shepard nodded as she slowly rose to her feet and reached down for Ashley's hands to pull her up into a hug. "I'll be around whenever you need me…" she whispered, questioning the sincerity of that statement. She was satisfied knowing that it was at least true right then.

"Thank you, Lil…" Ashley was thankful for the contact and held onto her for, what Shepard considered to be, an unreasonable amount of time. "I'm sure you've got other stuff to do, but thanks for checking on me." She finally pulled away and offered Lil a grateful smile.

With another quick nod, Shepard turned to leave and disappeared out the door as quickly as she'd come in, feeling a hell of a lot more awkward.

A/N -

This chapter is way smaller than I intended it to be, but it was taking me ages to finish because a) I've been working an unholy amount recently, and b) I, apparently, really, really hate writing Ashley. She may or may not TOTALLY suck in this chapter, and if so, I'd love some suggestions on how to fix her! Or anything else that needs fixin'. :P
Anyway, I'm planning on chapter 4 being huge to compensate for this one's lack of progression, and in the meantime, THANK YOU for reading! :)