Episode 9: Chaos will be Chaos
Welcome back to Total Drama's most chaotic fanfiction! It's been a while. Yeah, I was on vacation. But don't worry, there shouldn't be any more long breaks. Remember to review, you'll get a reply and a prize, and check out my poll for who you want to win TDTIR! (I do not own Total Drama, nor do I claim to own it or any of its characters. No profit is being made from this fanfiction)
(Camera shows Chris standing on the Dock of Shame)
Chris: Last time on Total Drama The Island Reborn, the eliminated contestants escaped Underground Playa des Losers, and proceeded to try and buy their way back into the game. I, in my ever cleverness, made it part of a challenge to rope up the eliminees and send them back where they belong. However, Izzy used the million dollar case to propel herself back into the game, on a team of her very own, Team Izzy. The next part of the challenge was a cliff dive off Cliff Wawanakwa, like Total Drama's first ever challenge. Oh, the nostalgia! This time it had one key difference- - -all but one had to jump. After some hilariously painful falls, it came down to Staci and Noah. They both refused to budge an inch, until Chef and I eventually annoyed Noah into taking the plunge. Staci had failed her team, and when the challenge's twist offered them a chance at redemption, she failed for them again! It was pretty much set in stone who was going bye-bye, when Heather made the mistake of messing with Noah. The sarcastic bookworm convinced all her teammates to vote for her, getting rid of the game's queen bee. Yeah, everyone's pretty happy about that. Who will rise up and fill Heather's vacant spot as the master of the game? How will Izzy survive as a team of just one? Yeah, a one-man team didn't work out that well last time. And finally, will this stupid little dictionary guy ever get out of my head so my words'll stop being so, well, imminently salubrious like ratatouille? HEY! GET OUT!
(A little guy holding a dictionary jumps out of his ear and runs away)
Chris: That's better. No fancy words today on TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!
(Theme song plays. It shows the camera sweeping past the dock, where Chris waves at it. Chef smiles at it, then gulps as it comes nearer to him, and smacks him in the face. After he disappears the camera zooms up the cliff, where it shows a squirrel punching Zeke in the face. As the camera "falls" off the cliff so does Zeke. Hitting the water, bubbles cover the screen. When they clear, Izzy is swimming away from a shark, only to turn around and bite the shark back. Above the water, Noah is sitting in a boat, reading his trademark book, when Zeke lands on him. Right after the moment of impact, the camera zooms to the forest, where Mike is petting a raccoon. The raccoon bites his finger, causing him to wince in pain, inhale deeply, then scream at the raccoon. The camera zooms to the waterfall, where Annette is singing on top of a log that goes over the waterfall. At the bottom, Dawn is sitting cross-legged on a beam of wood going across a small lake, looking very peaceful. Suddenly, Annette flies past her and her mouth falls open. The camera moves to the outhouse confessional, where a bear is knocking on the door. Blake sticks his head out, screams, and then ducks back in. Chef's kitchen is then seen, with a small television in the background upon which Courtney and Cody can be seen. Lightning is dumping protein powder into his mouth, and then fist-pumps, while Heather is tied to a chair, being force-fed Chef Hatchet's special soup by Chef himself. The camera moves outside to the campfire pit, where Owen is holding and rocking back and forth giggling. Staci is seen on the dock, blabbing on while reading from a gigantic stack of papers. The camera shifts a little, showing Chris on the other side of the dock, covering his ears and yelling. He runs around and falls into the water. When he surfaces, in classic cartoon style, his head steams over in anger, causing a fire. The camera follows the fire embers up, and then back down, revealing the campfire. Zoey is sitting in front of it, looking nervous, before her eyebrows scrunch up and she gives an evil grin, only to look around when she sees Zeke and Mike sitting on either side of her. The camera pans out to show all 13 contestants sitting on stools around the campfire, as Chris stands nearby and grins at the camera. A wooden sign is seen, where neon letters light up, saying TOTAL DRAMA THE ISLAND REBORN)
(Camera shows the cabins. All is quiet, as it's so early in the morning the sun hasn't even risen over the treetops. Team Izzy's "cabin" is a little shelter of bark and wood assembled in between the other two by Izzy herself. Suddenly, the megaphone starts playing "Ode to Joy" at a volume classical music was never designed for. As the music rises in volume till the sound is knocking over trees and stripping the feathers off passing birds, all eight campers stumble from the cabins, half-asleep, yelling at Chris to turn it off. The host eventually does so, and walks up to them wearing a big smile)
Chris: How'd you like your little awakening? I heard that teenagers hate classical music, and you guys seem to be no exception.
Noah: I think there's a difference between the classics and a sonic boom.
Izzy: Hey, Beethoven was deaf! Maybe he wanted to blow out everyone else's eardrums and laugh at them in their misery!
Noah: Twenty people watching this just quit music school.
Chris: Don't push it.
Noah: Just go jump off a cliff.
Chris: You just did.
Noah: Did I?
Chris: No.
Noah: You're irrational.
Chris: So is pi.
Noah: I thought you didn't speak math.
Chris: I don't. I'm talking about blueberry pie.
Noah: I'm allergic to blueberries.
Chris: 'Cause you're a nerd!
Noah: That's what your mom calls you when she thinks you can't hear her.
Chris: I'm out of comebacks.
Noah: I'm not.
Ezekiel: I WANT SOOME DIALOOGUE, EH!
Static
Ezekiel: What? I like talkin', eh.
Static
Noah: Ticking Chris off probably wasn't the best way to start a fresh day- - -
(Ezekiel sticks his head in the window)
Ezekiel: That rhymed, eh!
Noah: Zeke, shut up and get out.
Ezekiel: Yes sir!
(He salutes Noah and goes away)
Static
Blake: Uh, can we get on with the challenge?
Chris: Oh, I didn't wake you guys up this early for a challenge. I'm not that cruel. [after receiving angry glares] Okay, I'm probably that cruel and a lot more, but anyway, Chef noticed something today when reviewing the video feed. You guys aren't confessing enough! The audience needs to hear you deepest, darkest secrets. Oh, and maybe some thoughts on the game. The world must know!
Noah: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to sleep.
Chris: Oh no you don't. You're all required to head to the outhouse and start confessionaling!
(The contestants head off, grumbling)
Static
Dawn: Well, I guess I'll start. This season has been an improvement for me. With Heather gone, there aren't any animal-hating jerks left, and with the island having been quarantined, the wildlife has returned to it's normal state.
(A platypus waddles past the window and makes a rude hand gesture at her)
Dawn: Er, mostly returned to its normal state. So, the only thing that's really been bothering me this year is the awesomeness, oh no! I mean, stupidness, of Ezekiel. That boy has lovesickness in his aura, which is a bad thing to begin with. But it's crowded among many many many different shades of stupidity, psychoticity, craziness, and overall Ezekiness. Not good. My goal this year is to make it to the final five at least, and hopefully some of my goodness will rub off on Chris in the meantime. Although I doubt it. The man belongs in an insane asylum. In other words, I'm just a nice girl in a ruthless competition. Who does not like Ezekiel.
Static
Annette: So far, my time on the island has been great. It's been epic. It's been….well, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! But I'll let you guys in on a little secret….I'm not here for the million dollars! Yep, I just want to sing on TV. When this season is released, producers and directors and the like will all want me to make my amazing debut album. I'll become world-famous, the best singer there ever was! I'll make a million dollars! Oh wait….
Static
Lightning: Sha-bam! Lightning's got this season in the bag! Nobody's gonna take the Lightning's victory from him! Lightning dominated last season, and this time it's no different! Just look at the competition! A egghead, a nature-lovin' creepy girl, a psycho, and a bunch of people Lightning already forgot! Sha-bam! They're goin' down, Lightning style!
Static
Noah: Whoopee, I have the privilege of telling seven billion people my deepest darkest secrets while sitting in an outhouse. I couldn't be happier. At least I'm rather happy with where I am in the game right now. I have an alliance of four, no wait, it's three, hang on, only two left. Actually, Ezekiel counts for about one quarter of a person, so my alliance is pretty small. Yeah, to guarantee me winning this time, I might have to take some more, at the risk of sounding cliché, drastic measures.
Static
Izzy: Yeah, it's awesome to be back in the game again! Seeing all my old friends again, getting to compete in fun challenges with lots of explosions, having a chance at a million, and, most of all, crushing the competition into the dust, completely obliterating them, destroying every single obstacle that stands in Izzy's path! Haha, I can be a little crazy at times. I asked Noah if he thought I was insane, but he told me I was just psychotic. Oh well, one can never be quite crazy enough, can they?
Static
Blake: Total Drama is really shocking. Every day something new happens, and half the time I don't even understand what's going on around me. I don't really have any hopes for winning this thing, and I'm pretty proud of myself for making it this far. Thankfully my parents don't allow me to get voted off within the first few episodes of reality televisions shows. Actually, I'll have to ask them about that one. If there is one upside to this whole thing, it's that I think I've made a whole lot of new friends. Especially Noah. I bet he thinks of me as a great friend.
Static
Staci: Yah, I'm really happy people are starting to believe me about my ancestors. After all, my great-great-aunt Chihuahua did invent belief. It was touching to meet great-great-great-uncle Stupid von Merkel in real life, even if he did destroy a lot of stuff. I think I could win this thing! Really, I do! Mostly, I'm just happy I didn't get voted off first again. Only Ezekiels should be voted off first. Yah, my great-great-great-great-grandfather Robabobaklus invented Ezekiels. Before him, other people had to get voted off first, vicious squirrels had to find other people to beat up, and explosions had to target other things. Yah, the world was not a better place back then.
Static
Ezekiel: I'm sick of this stoopid island, eh! I keep getting exploded, there's this squirrely who woon't stop bein' mean to me, and I can't find any chockate milk trees. Anywhere! It's so annoyin', it makes me want to punch somebody!
(He then punches himself in the face)
Ezekiel: That's better, eh. Oi feel like I forgot something. Oh yeah! My game plan. My strategy. My chess board! Anyway, I plan to win by throwing cupcakes at all the other people until they just give me the money. Except for Dawn, she's nice. Oi'll just give her a cupcake, eh.
Static
Chris: Alright campers, I see you're all done sharing secrets. It's a pity, 'cause I bet you still had a lot more drama waiting on the tip of your tongues!
(Noah rolls his eyes)
Chris: Anyway, just an announcement. Since our good pal Zoey blew up the dining hall, meals will now be served in the boat house. Bon appétit!
(Everyone groans)
Chris: So, today's challenge is gonna be fun! It's really simple too.
Noah: Every challenge is always simple, Chris, since you never bother putting any work into them. Except for the torturous or painful parts, you don't even bother.
Chris: Well, everyone knows the torturous and painful parts are the best stuff! Who cares about the rest?
Izzy: Uh, everyone that cares about their livelihood. Duh!
Chris: You can all complain twenty-four seven, but I'll never change my ways. Today you'll have to all race through the forest-jungle thing on Wawanakwa, starting at the starting line.
Noah: [sarcastically] Starting at the starting line? I was hoping to finish there.
Chris: Anyway, you'll have to head to the beach at the other side of the island, finishing at the finishing line.
(Noah facepalms)
Chris: Now, the important thing here is not to get your whole team across, just one member.
Dawn: When do we start?
Chris: Now! Get to the starting line, hurry up.
(The eight dash there, then all wait in different positions. Annette is moving her hands like an orchestra conductor, Dawn is meditating, Lightning is bent down like an Olympian ready to race, Zeke is picking his nose, Staci is blabbing on, Izzy is repeatedly rolling over like a dog doing tricks, Noah has sat down and is reading a book he apparently has pulled out of nowhere, and finally, Blake is just standing there, doing nothing. Chris blows an air horn, and they all run off into the woods, some faster than others)
Static
Blake: This challenge isn't exactly my forte. I'm not really comfortable with running through the woods like a maniac. Geez, the things I do for this show.
Static
(Scene switches to Staci and Annette, who are jogging side by side, far behind everyone else. Annette trips and Staci uses the moment to take a rest)
Annette: [getting back up] So, you've got a pretty cool family history.
Staci: Yah, you could say that. It is pretty amazing.
Annette: Geez, the most interesting thing from my background is my grandma, who has a really terrible singing voice. Sure glad I didn't inherit that.
Staci: Um, are you sure you didn't?
Annette: What do you mean? My singing's great! Here, watch this!
(Staci covers her ears)
Annette: Lollipops and lemon drops! Chocolate bars and marshmallow cars! Candy rings and- - -
(She stops singing when she notices Staci has left)
(Camera shows Lightning, who is sprinting through the woods. He stops just in time in front of a pit crawling with scorpions)
Lightning: Phew, that was close! Chris may've set that buggies trap to catch the Lightning, but buggies'll never get Lightning!
(He walks around the pit smugly, only to slip and fall into it)
Lightning: SCREECH! Lightning hates buggies, Lightning hates buggies! Get your stingy-thingies off Lightning! Help! Sha-ouchie!
(He slowly pulls himself out of the pit and brushes off the scorpions)
Lightning: Ha! That's what happens when holes open up in front o' Lightning and try to get the Lightning to fall in them!
(Another hole opens up in front of him, and he falls into it, disappearing from view)
(Scene switches to Chris, who is standing at the starting line checking his watch when claws grip him and pick him up. He looks up to see himself being carried away by Frederic the Vampire)
Chris: Get away from me, you blood-sucking pig!
Frederic: Like, nice insult homie, but, dude, like, no thanks, yo.
(He carries Chris higher and they fly off, heading towards a hole in a tall tree)
Frederic: That's my mancave, yo. That's like, where we're, like, headed, dude, so I can like, drink your blood!
Chris: No! NO!
(He wriggles around in Fred's grasp and eventually breaks free. Chris grins, only to fall forty feet into the jungle below. He lands with a thump, then a tree falls over and pins him to the ground)
Chris: HELP! HELP ME!
(The only person in earshot is Frederic, who grins evilly as he flies off)
(Camera switches to Noah, who is walking through the woods when he sees Dawn, meditating on a tree stump. She smiles and waves, getting up to walk with him)
Dawn: Noah, something's bothering you. What is it?
Noah: Me? I'm fine.
Dawn: You need to relax a little. Some conflict is stressing you, and you're scared to fail.
Noah: I'm not scared of anything. Well, there was this one time with carrots, but I'm totally over that.
Dawn: There's no need to hide your feelings from me, I understand how this game can rip people apart. All these nervous emotions in you have caused a stain on your aura. If you're not careful, you could end up being the next Scott. Or the next Heather.
Noah: Hey, don't compare me to Heather. Ever. EVER. I'm serious.
Dawn: Okay.
Noah: Let's change the subject. You seem to be doing pretty well in the game.
Dawn: Yes, thank you.
Noah: But you also don't seem to be in any alliances.
Dawn: No, I'm not. Why do you ask?
Noah: Because I've started one, and I wondered if you'd be interested in joining.
Dawn: I'd love to- - -wait, is Zeke in it?
Noah: Uh, yes. That's a good thing, right?
Dawn: No, it certainly is not.
(She frowns and walks off)
Noah: She seems so sure that this game is ripping me apart, but I don't think it's doing her any good either.
Static
Dawn: Right now, the last thing I need is any more time spent with Ezekiel. I honestly don't know what to think of him.
Static
(Camera switches to Izzy, who is walking on her hands through the woods when she crashes into Zeke and they both fall over)
Izzy: Hey! Watch where you're going!
Ezekiel: I woosn't going anywhere.
Izzy: Then watch where you're standing! Team Izzy cannot be slowed down! I must get there in first!
Ezekiel: Oi'll joost be satisfied with getting' there at all, eh.
Izzy: See Zeke, that's the difference between you and me. You don't have the willpower! You've got to be aggressive to win Total Drama!
Ezekiel: I doon't know aboot that….
Izzy: Come on Zeke! You have to show more aggression!
Ezekiel: A'yup, maybe, but how, eh?
Izzy: Do it the way I do! Just growl a lot. Repeat after me: grrr, grrrr, grrr. You try!
Ezekiel: Okay, grrr, grrr, grrr. Hey, I think I used to do thois when I was a Goolum, eh.
Izzy: Great! You're getting he hang of it! Just keep it up, I have to go win.
(She handstands away, as Zeke just keeps growling quietly to himself)
Static
Izzy: Zeke may not realize it now, but that's going to come in handy later on!
Static
(Blake is treading carefully on a game path, when he spots Noah ahead and calls out)
Noah: [sarcastically] No, you can't be lost. You must know the woods like the back of your hand by now.
Blake: UH, yeah, I guess maybe I do, but I don't know the back of my hand very well, so, uh….
(Noah points in the wrong direction)
Noah: Finish line's that way. Now go.
Blake: Thanks!
(He hurries off)
Noah: Sending my own teammate towards the cliff probably wasn't the best idea, but I don't care.
(Annette is hiking through the jungle when she sees the toppled tree that Chris is stuck under)
Chris: A little help here?
(Annette starts to head over, then apparently thinks better of it)
Annette: If I help you get out, you'll just go off and not even thank me.
Chris: Uh, yeah, that's what I do. NOW GTE ME OUT OF HERE!
Annette: Oh no, I have a better idea. You agree to give me extra help in all the challenges, and I'll get that tree off of you.
Chris: An illegal alliance? [crossing his fingers] Sure thing.
Annette: You won't be breaking any promises, though. [pulling a wad of paper from behind her back] Sign this contract, please.
Chris: Where'd you get that? Have you been in my closet? You're as bad as Sierra!
Annette: I was looking for your loudspeaker so I could increase the volume of my singing!
Chris: Well I think everyone's glad you didn't find it.
Annette: [frowning] Just sign.
(Chris takes the pen from her in his unpinned hand and scrawls his John Hancock on the first page)
Chris: Now get me out!
Annette: Will do.
(She rolls the tree off him with apparently little effort)
Chris: How'd you do that?
Annette: Oh, I figured out that some of the trees here are filled with chocolate milk! So they're really light.
Static
Ezekiel: There's a conspiracy somewhere here, eh. I just know it.
Static
Annette: Now, care to help me out in this challenge?
Chris: Fine. You can take the helicopter to the finish line.
(He pulls a walkie-talkie out of his pocket)
Chris: [walkie-talkie] Chef? Yeah, get the helicopter over her. Now. Yeah. Bye.
(Seconds later, the helicopter descends to the forest floor, with Chef piloting it. Annette hops in, and they take off)
Static
Chris: Stupid legally binding contracts. What happened to the days when you could cheat ten-thousand out of their money before lunch and then spend it in twenty minutes? This modern world isn't exactly an improvement. Hmph.
Static
(Scene switches to Dawn, who is skipping through the jungle with a trail of singing birds following her, when she crashes into Ezekiel and all the birds fly off)
Ezekiel: Second time today, eh. Oh well, back to growling. Grrrr, grrrr, grrrr….
Dawn: What are you doing?
Ezekiel: Grrr, grrr- - -Oh, I'm workin' on bein', uh, what's that word again….agreeable! That's it. Or maybe it was tomato. Never mind. Grrrr, grrr….
Dawn: Um, I'll be going now.
(She fast walks off, leaving Zeke behind still practicing his "agreeableness". Once out of sight, she relaxes and sits down on a stump. Suddenly, the top of the stump flips up and she falls through, into some tunnel)
Static
Ezekiel: I wonder if Dawn woos impressed by my agreeableness. I sure hope she woos!
Static
(Staci is shown, casually strolling through the forest, when Frederic lands in front of her)
Staci: Oh, hi Fred!
Frederic: Hello Staci. Doing a challenge?
Staci: Yah, I need to make it to the other side of the island. But I have no idea how I'm going to make it!
Frederic: I could help you if you want. All I have to do is fly you over there.
Staci: I don't know….
Fredric: C'mon, it'll only take a few seconds. You want to win, right?
Staci: I guess.
Frederic: Perfect! Let's go.
(He pauses a moment to give an inside smirk at the camera, then picks Staci up and flies off)
(Scene switch. Shows Noah, hanging upside-down from a tree with a rope around his ankle. His arms are crossed and his face remains emotionless)
Noah: [sarcastically] I love the way the blood rushes to my head. It feels like a nice brain massage.
(Izzy dashes into view and stops when she sees Noah)
Izzy: Hey Noah, you like hanging from trees too? What a coincidence.
Noah: Just get me down.
Izzy: Should I? You're on the opposite team.
Noah: [sarcastically] Didn't you know? Helping people outside of your team is the goal of this game.
Izzy: Okay!
(She grabs the rope holding Noah up and starts unties it from the tree. Then she starts spinning it around over her head)
Noah: Wait, no! I was being sarcastic!
(She pulls on the rope and it sends him flying off somewhere into the distance)
Noah: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH- - -
Static
Izzy: I hope he appreciated that; I wouldn't do many people that favor!
Static
(Camera moves to Blake, who is walking up the hill to the cliff. After a while, he reaches the top and looks around)
Blake: Hmm, this seems a bit of a weird path to take. But Noah did say it was the right way, and I know I can trust him. Here goes nothing!
(He takes a running start and leaps over the edge. As he falls, a little tiny hand reaches out of a hole, and catches him by the collar of his suit jacket)
Blake: Hey, that was a pretty smooth landing. Why am I still suspended hundreds of feet in the air?
(The hand pulls him backwards and into the hole)
Blake: [off-screen] Hey, where are you taking me? I want to get to the finish! Help!
(Scene switches back to Frederic, who is flying towards the finish line with Staci in his claws)
Staci: So….what's been up with you lately?
Frederic: Not much, homie. Just been flying around. Hoping to, like, drink some human blood. Blood. Hahaha. How sweet it tastes. Like cherries, like, mixed with pumpernickel pie….
Staci: Uh, yah, you can spare me the details.
Frederic: ….blood, blood, blood….
Staci: [nervously] Could you fly a little faster please?
(Scene switches to the inside of the helicopter, where Annette and Chef are sitting)
Chef: [ranting] Helicopters these days. What sissies! Back in my day, it was a real danger to fly one of these. Half the time they exploded before you even took off! But can they do that today? No, all these wimps and their "safety regulations". Before you know it, people'll have to wear helmets to bike or seatbelts to drive!
Annette: People do have to wear helmets to bike and seatbelts to drive.
Chef: See what I mean? The worlds goin' to the babies, trust me, soon our king will be a one-and-a-half-year-old.
Annette: Uh, we've kind of gotten rid of all the kings.
Chef: Well, I'll be! What's next? Stuff made usin' electricity?
Annette: I'm not going to answer that question.
(Something crashes against the outside of the helicopter)
Annette: What was that?
Chef: Probably a new safety device, I dunno….
(A few more things hit the helicopter, making it jerk down)
Annette: Uh, are you going to do anything about it?
Chef: Nope. Why?
(Things start repeatedly crashing into the side, and something rips the smaller back rotor off)
Chef: Well, this was unexpected, but, so long sucker! Heeheehee!
(As more damage causes the helicopter to start dropping, Chef grabs a parachute pack and jumps out the door. However, he forgets to pull the cord and crashes into the ground somewhere far, far below)
Annette: This isn't good. AAAAAAAAAHH!
(The helicopter stops moving and plummets from the sky)
(Scene switches to Izzy, who is swinging from vines like Tarzan when she bangs into someone)
Izzy: Ow! Watch where you're going….uh….DJ?
(It is the gentle Jamaican giant, who's happily cuddling a bunny)
DJ: Hi Izzy. Why're you here?
Izzy: Whatd'ya mean? I'm in the competition!
DJ: There's another season? Sure glad I'm not part of it.
Izzy: Then why are you on the island? I thought you swore never to come back.
DJ: I did, but I lost Bunny here the last time, and I couldn't just leave him!
Izzy: So you traveled all the way here just to get your pet rabbit? Couldn't you have bought a new one?
DJ: Don't be silly, no bunny could ever be as good a bunny as Bunny is a bunny. And Bunny's not a rabbit, Bunny's a bunny.
Izzy: Woah, I think you just broke the world record for most "bunnies" said in one sentence! Congratulations! Anyway, I gotta go. Middle of the challenge, ya see.
DJ: Alright, see you later? [as she runs off] Who's a good bunny? Bunny's a good bunny! Who's a good- - -
Static
Izzy: Man, bunny-lovers are crazy! I'm sure glad I'm normal, I only act that way around my pet tarantula!
Static
DJ: Wow, I remember this place! Remember it….full of bad memories! All these bad memories here! WAAAAAAAAAHH! MAMAAAAAAAA!
Static
(Camera moves to Ezekiel, who is hiking through the jungle, still practicing growling, when Noah falls out of the sky and lands on him)
Ezekiel: Hey, what'cha do that for, eh? I was just getting' the hang o' grrrin'!
Noah: I don't even want to know what you're talking about.
Ezekiel: Figures. Grrr, grrr, grrr, grrr….
Noah: Can you stop that? It's annoying.
Ezekiel: Grrr….grrr….grrrr….
Noah: Whatever.
(He doesn't look where he's going and falls down a sinkhole out of sight)
Ezekiel: Grrrr, grrrr, might wanna watch your step, grrrr, grrrr, grrrr
(Zeke catches a glimpse of something in his peripheral vision and pales. He runs as fast as he can, sweating and eyes widened in fear, but whatever's behind him catches up. A small paw backhands the side of his head, knocking him out cold)
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
(Zeke wakes up, full of pain. Opening his eyes is even too much effort. He tries to move, but can't. He opens his eye a crack, and sees he is tied to a post. Looking to his right, he sees Noah, Annette, and Blake, also tied up. The same goes for Dawn and Lightning on his left. Zeke looks right in front of him and is startled to see the squirrel, wearing a crown and tiny-sized king's robes. Around him, in a huge clearing in the forest, are thousands of other squirrels of all species and colors. At the edge of the clearing is the finish line, tantalizingly close. The squirrel starts spitting hatred at Zeke)
Squirrel: Chirp CHIRP rah rah chirpity CHIRP!
Ezekiel: Uh, can I help you with something?
(A small brown squirrel steps up next to him and starts speaking in English)
Brown Squirrel: Greetings, human scum. Being the only squirrel in the colony who speaks your tongue, I will be translating for his majesty. He just said 'I have waited too long for this moment'.
Noah: Is it me, or did that squirrel just talk?
(The king squirrel goes on chirping for a while, almost passing out as he runs out of breath)
Brown Squirrel: Translation: It was four years ago when the human filth arrived on this island. His majesty assembled the colony to rid the isle of them. By the time an attack was ready, they had already left. The next time they visited, we had been driven into hiding by the mutant creatures. But this time, there is nothing stopping us from getting rid of you once and for all! WAHAHAHA!
Dawn: Why do you hate humans so much? Are you afraid they'll destroy or pollute your forests?
(The king squirrel face palms, then goes on another rant)
Brown Squirrel: Translation: What, you think it's some goofy environmentalist reason like the kind you find in bad-quality movies? No! We hate humans because they have thumbs! Thumbs! Squirrels never had thumbs! Do you have any idea how hard it is to use a touch-screen without thumbs? Or a car? Or a laptop? No? Well I'll tell you how hard it is! IT'S HARD! So, to make everything fair, we're going to get rid of all the humans, starting with you guys.
Noah: And how exactly do you plan on 'getting rid of us'?
(The king squirrel grins smugly and says a few chirps)
Brown Squirrel: Translation: That's easy. We'll send you all to the moon in our rocket ships.
(The squirrels move out of the way to show a small spacecraft that looks like it came out of a cartoon)
Brown Squirrel: Now, if you don't mind, it's time for you to go to the circle of cheese in the night sky.
(The squirrels crowd around the contestants, pulling them towards the ship. Everyone struggles and tries to break free in vain. Just as they're about to be shoved in, Izzy somersaults through the air and lands right in front of the finish line. She looks back at the thousands of squirrels behind her, and time seems to stand still for a moment)
Dawn: Izzy, you must free us!
Annette: Use your insanity to get rid of the squirrels!
Ezekiel: Foorget about the competition, eh! It's not moore important than us, right?
Lightning: Save us, sha-crazy girl! Save the Lightning!
Noah: A million bucks isn't worth our doom!
(Izzy looks at the finish line, then back at the others. She keeps looking back and forth, indecisively)
(Scene switches to Staci and Frederic, who have nearly flown to the finish line)
Staci: Yay, there's the finish! You can set me down now.
Frederic: Like, dudette, like, are you really that gullible?
Staci: What do you mean?
Frederic: Homie, you actually, like, thought I was gonna, like help you in the million-bling thing game?
Staci: Uh, yah.
Frederic: Like, you like, thought wrong. I hope you'll like, like, life as a vampire, dude.
Staci: No! Put me down!
(She tries to wriggle out of his grasp, but can't)
Frederic: Like, I'm not fallin' for that trick, like, twice, homie.
(However, he doesn't look where he's going and crashes into a tall tree, dropping Staci)
Staci: AAAAAAAAAH!
(Scene switches back to Izzy and the squirrels. She seems to make up her mind, takes one last longing look at the finish line, then pulls out a bomb from behind her back)
Izzy: This is for messing with my friends, you squirrels!
(She lights the bomb and throws it into the middle of the clearing. It goes off, and the squirrels and their rocket ship are blasted up into the air, falling out into the ocean. The blast catches Frederic and propels him out to sea, falling over the cliff as it does so, turning him back into a normal human. Back in the clearing, the six contestants are sitting in the middle of the clearing, perfectly okay, but still tied up and covered in ash)
Noah: [sarcastically] Life is soooo boring around here.
Izzy: Izzy saved her friends! And now she can win the challenge!
(She runs towards the finish line, only for Staci to fall on it in front of her)
Staci: What? I won?
Izzy: WHAT? SHE WON?
Chris: [jumping out of the bushes] She won! That's a victory for the Crazy Crazies!
Noah: We still don't know which team is going to elimination.
Chris: We don't need too! It's the twist to this challenge! It's not an elimination one, it's for a reward! A reward, that the Crazies have just won.
Annette: What'd we win?
Chris: A party! With real food, not cooked by Chef, a DJ, that is a disc jockey, not TD's DJ, a dance floor, and tons of awesome party stuff! It starts at the arts and crafts tent at sundown! Crazies, I'll see you there!
(Annette, Lightning, and Staci cheer)
Static
Staci: Yah, I never expected I would actually win a challenge for my team! And we get a party too! This is awesome!
Static
Lightning: Sha-bam!
Static
Ezekiel: Well, Oi might not have won, but I'm pretty glad all my squirrely problems are oover. That, and I doon't have to live on the moon. Although I woold like eatin' the cheese there.
Static
Dawn: I'm surprised those squirrels were vicious towards me. The fact that wildlife anywhere, even on this island, could have a vendetta against me unnerves me. This island needs a lot of work, and I'm probably the one to do it.
Static
Noah: Another day over, another challenge survived. And I'm still standing strong in the game. At this point, really, nothing could go wrong.
Static
Chris: 'Nothing could go wrong'? Did he seriously just say that? Some day I'll make a poster out of that. With FAMOUS LAST WORDS as the caption! Hahahahaha, oh man, doesn't he know by now EVERYTHING goes wrong on Total Drama? And if it doesn't go wrong, I make it go wrong. Watch out Noah! Hahahahaha.
Static
(Scene shows the outside of the Arts and Crafts Tent. Different-colored lights and lots of cheering is coming from inside. Izzy and the Psychos are sitting outside, looking glum)
Izzy: Well, Izzy's kinda bummed out that she didn't win the party.
Dawn: It's okay Izzy. We're very grateful to you for saving us. I know it must have been a hard decision, and I'm glad you came through with the right choice in the end.
Izzy: Heck, I didn't do it for you guys! I just wanted to blow up a bunch of squirrels! Although I was happy I could save Noah. Life would be boring without his sarcastic comments!
Noah: I'm pretty sure life would never be boring for you, Izzy. Mostly considering you're you.
Izzy: Thanks.
Noah: That wasn't exactly meant as a compliment.
Izzy: Thanks anyway! Anyone wanna play Hot Potato with a bomb?
Ezekiel: Er, I'll pass, eh.
(Back at the beach, a ball of fur with a cracked crown washes up with the tide)
Squirrel: Chirp rah rah RAH RAH!
(Another bundle of fur washes up beside it)
Brown Squirrel: Cough cough….Translation: The humans will feel my pain! Time for revenge! No mercy!
(Camera goes back to Chris at the Dock of Shame)
Chris: It's been a long day. Crashing helicopters, vampire tricks, and a colony of psychotic squirrels. What new drama awaits Total Drama? Will Noah live to eat his words? And what is with Ezekiel and Dawn? Tune in next time to find out on TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!
(Credits play)
Eliminated: Mike, Zoey, Mr. Coconut, Owen, Heather
Psycho Psychos: Blake, Dawn, Ezekiel, Noah
Team Izzy: Izzy
Crazy Crazies: Annette, Lightning, Staci
Wow, I was trying to make this story more realistic, but this chapter just went totally out of control! This was a bit of a 'chore chapter' to write, but I'm really proud of the finished result! Expect an update in about a week (or hopefully less). Remember to review and vote on the poll! Thanks for reading!
~TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter
Next Time: When an unexpected visitor traps one of the competitors on Boney Island, the others rush to save her! But are they really trying to help her, or is Chris just trying to get his hands on some Boney Island treasure?