Now it was her turn to feel ashamed. What fresh hell had she unleashed in him by forcing the issue? Before she'd climbed into his hospital bed she'd imagined a couple of ways this could go but him sobbing uncontrollably had not been one of them. The pain in his eyes was devastating. She held him for long moments, murmuring in his ear and stroking his back as he gradually calmed down.

The memory of his words left her cold with fear. I hate you. He'd retracted them moments later but the sting of them still hung in the air. She didn't know what to do so she just held him, hoping the love she felt for him was made evident in her embrace.

It felt good to cry. It had been so long since he'd done it – had he cried when he told her to get the fuck out of his life after he found out she'd cheated on him? He couldn't remember. Ever since that day it seemed he'd been completely cut off emotionally. It was a safe place to be but not exactly pleasant. Yes, it felt good to let it all out but at the same time, he couldn't stand being so vulnerable. He needed to stop this, to get back some semblance of control. This was too much.

'I think you should go,' he whispered, trying to move away from her. In answer she looped her leg around his ass and held on. Then she grabbed his head and forced him to look her in the eye.

She tried to stop her voice from quavering but she had to know. This had to stop - right here, right now. 'I'm not fucking around, McAvoy. Did you mean what you said?'

'About what?'

'Loving me.'

'If by 'love' you mean 'hate', then yes I do love you.'

As soon as it was out of his mouth he regretted it. Why did he say that? He didn't mean it – it was the furthest thing from the truth. He was all too aware that feeling vulnerable made him prone to lashing out, just to make sure the other person knew they didn't have him over a barrel. It was a visceral response he'd learned as a child, a way to maintain his pride in the face of an overbearing, violent adult. At that moment he knew had fucked up. Royally. Not only that, he was well and truly fucked up.

She gasped, unhooked her leg and flung herself out of the bed. She knew what he was like when he was cornered, but she hadn't expected him to be so cruel. Did he hate her that much? Sobbing, she pulled her skirt down and tried to find her purse.

'Mac, I didn't mean…'

'Yes you did. Fuck you, McAvoy. You can go to hell. And I quit.'

'Mac, no. Please.' He pulled up his pajama bottoms and tried to get out of bed but the goddamned wires tripped him up.

She located her purse, swung it over her shoulder, yanked open the door and stumbled into the hallway. Then she was gone.

'No, no, no!' he shouted, ripping the wires and tubes from his arms. He flung open the door and was stopped in his tracks by the night nurse.

'God in heaven, what is going on in here? People are trying to sleep!' the nurse thundered. He pushed past her and ran toward the elevators but Mac had hit the hallway at a run and was nowhere to be found.

He pressed the button once, twice, three times, all the while looking around wildly for the stairs. Then the nurse was beside him, ordering him back to bed.

'I gotta get out of here,' he said, breathing heavily. The nurse had seen the woman rush from the room, tears streaming down her face, so she could guess what this was about.

'You're being discharged tomorrow. Now go back to your room. You can figure this out in the morning.'

'I have to leave now. Now. Jesus Christ, if I'm going to be discharged in the morning, what does it matter?!'

She looked at him warily. She wasn't keen on having the whole floor disturbed so she said, 'I'll ask the doctor on duty. If she gives the okay you can go after she fills out the discharge paperwork.'

'Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me,' he said as the elevator doors opened and he stepped inside.

'Where are you going?'

'Downstairs,' he said, hitting the 'L' button. As the doors closed between them he realized he'd left his wallet in his room. Shit. If she'd already left, how would he pay for the cab to her apartment?

The elevator slowed to a stop, the doors opened and an orderly attempted to push a wheelchair inside. The wheels got caught on something outside the door so precious seconds were lost trying to maneuver it past the obstruction. Shit. Shit. Shit. Finally it was in and the elevator doors closed. The orderly glanced at Will in recognition but said nothing. The fact that Will looked like he'd just stepped out of the psych ward probably helped.

The elevator stopped again, this time for an elderly patient who walked very. slowly. into the waiting car. Jesus Christ! Why the fuck isn't this man in bed? Will thought. He should have taken the stairs.

Hours and several passengers later the car stopped and the doors opened into the lobby. Will had to grab the hand rails to keep from pushing past his fellow passengers, tapping his foot and mentally imploring them to hurry the fuck up. Finally they were out and Will raced towards the exit, scanning the tired faces for the one that still haunted his dreams. It was nothing short of a fucking miracle that he found her, waiting in the cold for a cab. She was shivering and he realized she must have forgotten her coat in his room.

He stole quietly behind her, close enough to grab her if she decided to bolt. Jesus, it was freezing. He stepped on a rock and realized he was barefoot. Fuck.

'Mac,' he said quietly. She spun around, fresh tears on her face. 'I thought I told you to fuck off, McAvoy.'

'You did, and it was well-deserved, but we need to talk.' He touched her arm. 'Please.'

'No. I'm done.' Noting his thin pajamas and bare feet she said, 'Get your ass in there before you turn into a popsicle.'

A cab pulled up and a driver poked his head over to the passenger window. 'McHale?'

'Yes, thank you.' She opened the door and got in. Will slid in next to her.

'What the fuck are you doing?' she asked.

'Breaking down walls,' he said.

'Go back to your room.'

'Where to?' the driver barked.

Mac considered her options. She knew Will well enough to know that no matter where she went he was going to be right behind her. If she went inside at least she could get her coat. 'I'm sorry,' she said to the driver. 'Change of plans.'

Turning to Will, she said, 'Get out. We'll talk inside.' She reached over him to open the door but he wasn't falling for that. He knew her well enough to know that as soon he was clear of the door she'd slam it shut and give the driver her address.

'You first,' he answered.

Fuck, she thought. He knows me too well. Sighing, she opened the other door, got out and sprinted inside into the warmth of the lobby. Will was right behind her, teeth chattering.

She headed for the elevators and pressed the call button.

'Mac,' he said, grabbing her hand. She wrenched it from his grasp and glowered at him.

'I mean it, Will. I'm done. I'm getting my coat, you're getting back in bed and then I'm leaving.'

'You can't.'

'I bloody well can.'

'We need to talk. Let me come with you.'

'No.'

'You said you wanted to break down walls, MacKenzie, so let's break 'em down - let's do this.'

'Listen, you douche! You just showed me what's on the other side of those walls. I'm not gonna be your punching bag.'

She suddenly realized none of the other ten thousand people waiting for the elevators were talking. The conversation between the number two news anchor in America and the unknown crazy woman had obviously piqued their interest. Great. She knew what the headline in Nina Howard's column would read tomorrow.

The elevator came and they stepped inside along with the rest of their audience. She pushed the button for his floor and he stood next to her, head down. He didn't have a plan beyond making sure she didn't leave without him. He stole a glance at her tear-stained face and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. It hung limp in his hand but at least she didn't slap him. He was afraid he wouldn't get another chance to say it so he looked at her and said, as quietly but as clearly as he could, 'I love you, Mac. You have to believe me.' His voice cracked. Of course no one else was talking so they all heard it. Those assembled waited for her reaction with bated breath. It was like watching a tennis match.

'Shut it, Billy.' The doors opened and they pushed past their fellow passengers, ignoring their stares.