Total Drama Twist Chapter 15: Luck o' the Canadian, a total drama series fanfic

Chapter 15: Luck o' the Canadian

Hey guys, good news: I've thought up a sequel season to TDTIR, Total Drama Time Travelers! It'll come out when I finish this. I think it'll end up pretty good since it'll improve on all my mistakes from this fanfic: More contestants, more couples, less typos, and more fun!

(Camera shows Chris standing on the Dock of Shame)

Chris: Last time, on Total Drama The Island Reborn, the campers had a bit of a rude awakening. They found themselves in an underground bunker, with only five means of escape. Zeke, Noah, Annette, Izzy, and Blake all got out, leaving Staci behind. From there we moved onto an extreme obstacle course. Annette lucked out and Zeke and Noah battled for the win. And Izzy lost. Yeah, I know! Who would've thought?! Anyway, in a quick and fun game, we knocked Blake out of the challenge and moved on to the final part; a robot rodeo while avoiding Komodo Chef! Don't ask. Annette immediately failed and cost the Crazies the win, but Noah and Zeke proceeded to play a completely psychotic game of Chicken, with Zeke turning more Gollumy by the second. I think that's a word. Can you guess what happened? An explosion. Real shocker. And, Staci got the boot. FINALLY. What the heck was she doing sticking around so long? Seriously. What annoying camper will get eliminated next? When will the merge come? And will Ezekiel end up killing Noah before the episode even begins?

(Something in the background explodes)

Chris: Probably! But still, check out today's episode of TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!

(Theme song plays. It shows the camera sweeping past the dock, where Chris waves at it. Chef smiles at it, then gulps as it comes nearer to him, and smacks him in the face. After he disappears the camera zooms up the cliff, where it shows a squirrel punching Zeke in the face. As the camera "falls" off the cliff so does Zeke. Hitting the water, bubbles cover the screen. When they clear, Izzy is swimming away from a shark, only to turn around and bite the shark back. Above the water, Noah is sitting in a boat, reading his trademark book, when Zeke lands on him. Right after the moment of impact, the camera zooms to the forest, where Mike is petting a raccoon. The raccoon bites his finger, causing him to wince in pain, inhale deeply, then scream at the raccoon. The camera zooms to the waterfall, where Annette is singing on top of a log that goes over the waterfall. At the bottom, Dawn is sitting cross-legged on a beam of wood going across a small lake, looking very peaceful. Suddenly, Annette flies past her and her mouth falls open. The camera moves to the outhouse confessional, where a bear is knocking on the door. Blake sticks his head out, screams, and then ducks back in. Chef's kitchen is then seen, with a small television in the background upon which Courtney and Cody can be seen. Lightning is dumping protein powder into his mouth, and then fist-pumps, while Heather is tied to a chair, being force-fed Chef Hatchet's special soup by Chef himself. The camera moves outside to the campfire pit, where Owen is holding Mr. Coconut and rocking back and forth giggling. Staci is seen on the dock, blabbing on while reading from a gigantic stack of papers. The camera shifts a little, showing Chris on the other side of the dock, covering his ears and yelling. He runs around and falls into the water. When he surfaces, in classic cartoon style, his head steams over in anger, causing a fire. The camera follows the fire embers up, and then back down, revealing the campfire. Zoey is sitting in front of it, looking nervous, before her eyebrows scrunch up and she gives an evil grin, only to look around when she sees Zeke and Mike sitting on either side of her. The camera pans out to show all 13 contestants sitting on stools around the campfire, as Chris stands nearby and grins at the camera. A wooden sign is seen, where neon letters light up, saying TOTAL DRAMA THE ISLAND REBORN)

(The campers are standing on the Dock of Shame next to Chris. Ezekiel is back to normal)

Chris: Smile for the camera! C'mon, show your nice and yellow teeth.

Blake: Uh, why are we here?

Chris: Because I have big news. You have all reached the merge!

(There's shocked silence for a second. Then Izzy hugs Noah, who smiles slightly, Annette and Blake cheer, and Ezekiel tries to do a cartwheel and falls in the lake)

Chris: To celebrate this special occasion, we're bringing back two campers! First, after getting unfairly voted off in Total Drama Island, she came back to kick butt in the follow-up season. But she still failed. Then came the third season. Don't even get me started on the totally messed-up drama that happened there. Oh yeah, and she did, like, nothing in Total Drama Revenge of the Island. Presenting….

Static

Annette: I wonder who it could be?

Static

Izzy: Izzy has a suspicion. And Izzy doesn't like what she suspects.

Static

Noah: Why is Chris announcing everything like he's a circus ringmaster? This is Reality TV, people.

Static

End of Confessionals

(A boat drives up to the Dock of Shame and a brown-haired teen gets off)

Chris: ….Courtney!

Courtney: Save it Chris. I'm here to win, not to get introduced. Who am I competing against?

(She looks down the line of contestants)

Courtney: Let's see, Bookworm, Psycho Hose Beast, and Nose Picker are back.

Ezekiel: Nose Picker? Isn't that Harold, eh?

(He picks his nose)

Courtney: Ew! Hmm. Who are you two?

(She stops in front of Annette and Blake)

Annette: I'm Annette! I don't wear a bonnet!

Courtney: [covering her ears] Ow! Shut it! You must be newbies. All the better for me. The newer they are, the harder they fall.

Static

Blake: I'm not sure who Courtney is, but she doesn't seem very friendly. Nah. That was probably just a misleading first impression.

Static

Courtney: Hey you, camera people! Listen up. I came here to win. Just like I did before. And before that. And even before that. But this time there's one little difference! This time, I'm going to win. You hear me? Hello? I know you can hear me! I demand a response this instant! Hello?!

Static

End of Confessionals

Chris: Now for another returning contestant! This guy debuted in TDROTI, and did pretty well. And then, this season, he epic-failed pretty early on and got kicked off. Everybody welcome….

(A platform rises from the Chute of Shame, with a very skinny teen standing on it)

Chris: ….Mike!

Mike: Uh, hey. [noticing everyone glaring] What?

Noah: You coming back means more competition.

Annette: I don't like Bob.

Ezekiel: Me neither, eh,

Courtney: I don't know who you are, but I don't like anyone here!

Mike: Geez.

Static

Mike: Yeah, that didn't go so well. At least I've got another shot at the million. But this time I need to keep Bob under control. And I also have to deliver a message to Zeke. I promised Dawn I'd let him know that fighting Noah isn't avenging her.

Static

Noah: Mr. Multi Man is back. Am I concerned? No. What I need to do now is get Izzy into some sort of an alliance, since it's the merge already. I really wish I could spend more time with her. Uh, strictly because of strategic reasons. Naturally.

Static

Izzy: You know, I would love to be in an alliance with Noah now that the merge's rolled around, but I think he thinks Izzy is just a little too cuckoo. Ah well.

Static

End of Confessionals

Chris: Alright, I'll give Mike and Courtney some time to settle in and unpack their bags before the challenge begins. From now on, the guys get what was formally the Psychos' cabin, and the girls get- - -

Noah: [sarcastically] Perhaps the other one?

Chris: That's what I was about to say. Now shoo!

(Scene switches to the guys' cabin, where Mike has picked a bunk and dropped his duffel bag onto it)

Mike: So, how've you guys been holding up since I've been gone?

(Zeke and Noah glare at each other while Blake scratches his head cluelessly)

Mike: Never mind.

(He slowly backs away and walks out of the room)

(Camera switches over to the girls' cabin, where Courtney is tossing Izzy's stuff out of the way to make room for her own)

Annette: What are you doing?

Courtney: Unpacking. What Chris said. Now unless you have something important to say, get out!

(Annette shrugs and walks over to Izzy is standing, before Courtney calls the two of them back over)

Courtney: Listen up, girls. It's about this time in the game that the boys always team up in a stupid Guy's Alliance.

Annette: I don't think that's gonna happen, with all the conflicts and stuff between them. Zeke and Noah can't even stand each other!

Courtney: Yeah yeah, that's what they want you to believe. But think about it. There are four of them and three of us. If they wanted to, they could pick us off one by one. Do you want that to happen?

Annette: No sirree!

Courtney: So you're in?

Annette: Uh….

Static

Annette: I'd like to say yes, but I'm already in an illegal alliance with Chris. Key term? Illegal. I've already spun a sticky web around myself, and I don't want to tighten it. Courtney seems like she might go back on her word and get rid of me. But I can always count on Chris!

Static

(Chris is scribbling furiously on a pad of paper. He looks up and notices the camera)

Chris: Oh, this? I'm just writing 'I hate Annette' over and over again. Been doin' it for the last couple days.

Static

Courtney: Hah, Izzy and Annette are sure to join. The two simpletons aren't even capable of saying the word no.

Static

End of Confessionals

Annette: No.

Courtney: I stand corrected. Well, it's your loss. Izzy, what about you?

Izzy: Depends.

Courtney: On what?

Izzy: Who would we vote off first?

Courtney: Let me ask you a question. Of the four guys, who do you think is most likely to be clever and form an alliance?

Izzy: Er, Ezekiel?

Courtney: No! Not at all! It's Noah. He's going down/

(Izzy grabs a hand mirror and smacks Courtney over the head with it, cracking the glass)

Courtney: Ow! You little….urgh! What was that for?

Izzy: Izzy may be crazy, but she's not that crazy. I'll never vote for Noah!

Static

Izzy: Izzy meant what she said, and she said what she meant. I won't vote for Noah, one hundred percent! *[1]

Static

Courtney: Okay, that didn't go as planned. But I still want to take out Noah. He's the biggest threat! With him gone, the game is mine. From what I hear, Zeke isn't all too happy with Mr. Smug Bookworm. He might just be interested in a little thing I like to call….an alliance.

Static

End of Confessionals

(Exiting the confessional, Courtney quickly heads towards the guy's cabin, running into Ezekiel on the way there)

Ezekiel: Good day, eh! That rhymed, eh.

Courtney: Whatever. Zeke, can I talk to you?

Ezekiel: Sure thing.

Courtney: I was wondering- - -

(An air horn goes off and Chris yells over the megaphone)

Chris: It's challenge time! Meet me back at the Dock of Shame immediately!

Ezekiel: What were you goin' to say, eh?

Courtney: Tell you later. Let's go.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

(The seven campers are standing on the Dock of Shame with Chris and Chef facing them)

Chris: Hello, final seven! That's a lucky number! Today, there will be three parts to the challenge. A preliminary round, the semi-finals, and the big last one. And because the seven of you are so lucky to have made it this far, all the challenges will be based on luck, with almost no skill required!

Noah: Uh, Chris? You don't exactly have to be lucky to get this far. There have been fourteen of us. We're only half-way done. Anyone who's not stupid could make it this far. [glancing at Zeke and Blake] Actually, I take that back. Stupid people can make it this far too.

Chris: Yeah. Good for you. But just think how awesome I am! I never have to worry about getting eliminated!

Courtney: All you worry about is whether your hair looks right and whether you're going to get sued. And if I have my way, you will!

Chris: Whoa, calm down a little. So, in each round, there will be one-on-one competitions, with the loser getting dropped from the challenge.

Noah and Courtney: Check your math!

(They glare at each other)

Courtney: We need eight people to do that.

Noah: We only have seven.

Chris: Don't worry, don't worry, I've thought of that. Someone else will be joining you guys for just this challenge.

Annette: Is it another eliminated contestant?

Izzy: Is it the Sasquatchwanakwa?

Ezekiel: Is it chockate milk?

Chris: No to all three! It's Chef!

Static

Courtney: Are you kidding me?

Static

Noah: Why? WHY?!

Static

Ezekiel: I have Chefophobia, eh. Get me outta this madhouse!

Static

Mike: [shuddering] I still have nightmares about that man.

Static

Annette: I don't think I'm gonna like this….

Static

(Blake is curled up on the bench, shivering in fear)

Static

Izzy: Bring it on, Cheffy! Izzy's got game, and she's gonna bring ya down!

Static

Chef: I'm gonna teach these suckers that nobody messes with Chef Hatchet and gets away with it! Except, uh, Leshawna, Beth, Izzy, Duncan, and a coupla others, but that's all in the past now.

Static

Chris: Best. Idea. Ever!

Static

End of Confessionals

(Chef is punching his fist into his other hand menacingly)

Chris: That's everything, I think. Oh yeah, the winner gets invincibility.

Courtney: [rolling her eyes] What if Chef wins?

Noah: Hey! I was gonna say that! Stop stealing my lines!

Chris: If Chef wins, he gets to choose himself who's eliminated. And just to make things interesting, second place gets invincibility from his pick. Now, your first challenge is walking through a field to the finish line. A mine field! And there's no way to tell where the mines are. Let's have our formerly vampirian friend Frederic demonstrate!

(Frederic is standing on the end of the field, looking down fearfully)

Frederic: Yo homie, is this, like, safe?

Chris: Definitely.

(Fred shrugs and steps onto the field. He immediately sets off a mine and is blasted away)

Chris: Now, just like how the challenges are based on luck, so are the challengers! I have a nifty little machine here that'll randomly pick who competes. Here goes nothing!

(He pulls out a little box from behind his back and spins a lever. A picture of Courtney and one of Izzy pop up out of little slots)

Chris: Looks like we have our first two. Ready to get blown up? On your mark. Get set. Go!

(Courtney steps onto the field and starts jogging slowly, zigzagging back and forth and thankfully avoiding any mines. When she's nearly to the finish, Izzy does a somersault onto the dirt and hits a mine, exploding herself across the finish line first)

Izzy: Ta-da!

Chris: Courtney's out!

Courtney: What? That's totally cheating! Izzy hit a mine!

Chris: I never said you couldn't.

Courtney: Urgh! You are so annoying!

Chris: Thank you, I know. Our next two are….

(He spins the lever again and smiles in glee at the result)

Chris: Well, this is a nice coincidence! I guess it's my lucky day. Zeke and Noah! You're up.

(The two glance at each other and take off. Although neither of them are very good runners, Zeke easily runs a good deal faster than Noah, and is nearly finished when a mine blows up in his face, knocking him backwards and into Noah. Zeke gets up first and Noah grabs his ankle, knocking him back over into the mud. The two wrestle with each other, trying to get up, when out of nowhere the evil squirrel jumps into the fray and starts attacking them both, but especially Zeke. After a little while of rolling around, somebody hits a mine and all three go flying through the air)

Chris: Yeah. After that pathetic performance, I've decided that both Efreakiel and Egghead fail. Courtney, you're back in.

Courtney: Yes! Yes yes yes!

Static

Courtney: It was only a matter of time.

Static

Mike: Ezekiel's already out, so if I fail my challenge, it'll be perfect timing for me to deliver Dawn's message. But I'm not planning on failing it.

Static

Noah: You know what the only thing I've felt has been, ever since I've gotten to know Zeke? Pain. And lots of it too.

Static

End of Confessionals

Chris: Now, we've got….[waiting for the machine to finish up picking] Chef and Annette!

(Both of them grin, and Chef dashes across the field, setting off several mines which don't seem to bother him. Annette tentatively steps on, and then turns around)

Annette: [to Chris] Ahem. A little help?

Chris: What'cha say? Can't hear you!

(He grabs a remote control out of his pocket and slams a big red button. A mine goes off directly underneath Annette, blasting her through the air just as Chef wins)

Static

Chris: Okay, that wasn't exactly in the terms of my illegal alliance contract, but, what the hey? IT WAS AWESOME!

Static

Annette: Chris couldn't hear me from right over there? Gee, I feel sorry for him. Going deaf at such a young age….it's terrible!

Static

End of Confessionals

Chris: Okay….

Ezekiel: Alright! *[2]

Chris: Shut up. We've got Mike and Blake as our final competitors for the preliminaries. You guys ready?

(Mike and Blake nod)

Chris: On your mark- - -

Noah: Wait!

(He tosses something to Blake)

Noah: It's a Coca Cola. Scottish Blake could come in handy here.

Blake: Uh, okay.

(He drains the bottle)

Scottish Blake: HELLO LADDIES AND LASSIES AND NOAHS! IS THAT A MINE FIELD I SEE? MINES ARE FULL O' THE OL' ADVENTURE!

(He dives into the mud and roots around until he hears something click. Blake grins)

Blake: HOORAY!

(The mine explodes and he's sent flying)

Noah: That could've gone a little better.

(Meanwhile, Mike has carefully worked his way across the field and crossed the finish line)

Chris: And it looks like we have our four semi-final competitors. Mike, Chef, Courtney, and Izzy. Congrats and all! For the second challenge, you will be tossed into a quicksand pit, in which you will inevitably sink. Frederic the Intern will show us how.

(Frederic steps onto the quicksand and nothing happens. He relaxes)

Frederic: Like, man, this isn't so bad!

(He sinks up to his neck)

Frederic: Homie, help!

Chris: [as Frederic sinks completely] Maybe later. First up are….Chef and Courtney! Step right into the quicksand, kids.

Chef: You call me kid again, sonny boy, and I'll throw ya off the cliff!

Chris: Good to know. Hurry it up, will ya?

(Chef and Courtney cautiously step into the sand and start sinking almost at once, with the bigger man obviously sinking faster)

Courtney: Hah! You haven't got a chance.

Chef: That's what you think.

(Before the Type A can figure out what he meant, he grabs her arm and pushes her under the sand. He then sinks under himself, and robotic arms zoom and pull them out)

Courtney: That was completely unfair!

Chef: Ya get what ya get and ya don't get upset, maggot.

Chris: Courtney's out. For good this time. Looks like Mike and Izzy are gonna battle it out to see who the other finalist will be.

Ezekiel: That rhymed, eh.

(The squirrel pops out of nowhere and drags him off, kicking and screaming)

Chris: Hop in!

(Izzy dives into the quicksand headfirst and quickly starts sinking, again, headfirst. Mike slowly walks in and sinks slowly, about the same pace as Izzy. But he's still ahead when the squirrel tosses Zeke back out of the woods. The prairie boy crashes into Mike and bounces into the quicksand, where he quickly sinks under)

Mike: Uh oh.

(He inhales sharply)

Mike/Bob: I LOVE IGUANADONS! AND QUICKSAND!

(He leans over and disappears completely into the sand, well ahead of Izzy. The robotic arms pick him, her, and Zeke up and out)

Chris: Looks like Izzy and Chef are gonna be battling it out! Izzy automatically gets invincibility, but the question is, is she gonna win, in which case we go to a normal campfire ceremony? Or is Chef gonna take the prize and pick which one of you suckers goes bye-bye? We'll take a fifteen minute break first.

(Immediately, Courtney walks up to Ezekiel)

Courtney: Hey Zeke! How's it going?

Ezekiel: Like cupcakes.

Courtney: Um, okay. Yeah. [awkwardly] Heard that you and Noah aren't so happy with each other, um, eh?

Ezekiel: A'yup.

Courtney: [still awkwardly] Yeah. Bummer. Definitely. You feel like voting for him?

Ezekiel: A'yup again a'yup.

Courtney: Alright then. It's a deal!

(She pats him on the back and walks off)

Static

Courtney: I can't wait to see the look on Noah's face when he gets kicked off tonight. It's gonna be amazing! Assuming Chef doesn't win, of course, but I'm confident Izzy can beat him. And if not? Well, then Chef and I need to have a little talk….

Static

Ezekiel: Everything's going perfect, eh. Now I can finally show Noah that nobody messes with Dawn and gets away with it. I hope.

Static

End of Confessionals

(Mike walks up to Ezekiel just as Courtney walks away)

Static

Mike: Hmm, I wonder what Courtney had to say to him. Knowing her, probably nothing good. But it doesn't matter. Now's as good a time as any to deliver Dawn's message.

Static

End of Confessionals

Mike: Hi Zeke. Having fun?

Ezekiel: Eh. The game's okay eh, but I miss Dawn.

Mike: Yeah, well that's pretty much exactly what I came to you to talk about. After I told everyone I was returning to the game, Dawn wanted me to send a message to you. She heard from Staci that you and Noah are at each other's throats all the time now 'cause you're tryin' to avenge her or something.

Ezekiel: A'yup. She wants to say she's happy aboot it, eh, right?

Mike: Not exactly. She actually thinks that you should stop it. Ya know, call a truce, be buddies with Bookworm again. Peace an' all.

Ezekiel: My brain just exploded, eh.

Static

Ezekiel: What am Oi supposed to do now, eh? My world just turned upside-down, and then did a back flip.

Static

Mike: If Dawn could see me right now, she'd be proud. Actually, considering the fact that she's Dawn, she probably can see me right now. But, whatever.

Static

End of Confessionals

(On the other end of camp, Noah is sitting cross-legged on a big rock reading his trademark book, while Izzy is stalking about the high grass trying to catch ants)

Izzy: Haha! Got one! You'll never offend Mistress Izzy again, you little blighter!

(She drops the ant and then drops a stone on top, leaving nothing but a little smear on the ground)

Noah: Gross.

Izzy: I know! It's awesome!

Noah: [sarcastically] Definitely. 'Cause when I grow up, I want to squish bugs for a living.

Izzy: I thought you wanted to win the million and retire at age twenty-one, then move into a house somewhere up in Alaska and live by yourself with ten thousand books and even more cats.

Noah: No! I am not an old cat lady!

Izzy: Well, you're not old yet, but we're workin' on it.

Noah: I happen to picture my future as the exact opposite of what you just said. Minus the winning the million part. And the books. Those are cool.

Izzy: Why do you want to win so badly?

Noah: Why would I not?

Izzy: Where's the fun in always winning?

Noah: Always? I've missed out on the million four seasons in a row. I haven't even ever come close.

Izzy: You probably just need a little help.

Noah: What do you mean?

Izzy: Alliance?

Noah: Sure. Definitely.

Izzy: Yay!

(She pulls Noah into a hug)

Noah: Izzy! Watch it! You're making me dog-ear my book!

Static

Noah: [fixing the pages in his book] Stupid paper. Ow! Papercut! Geez. Well, at least that turned out well. I wasn't even expecting Izzy to say yes to an alliance, yet alone ask me to be in one. Although it was annoying when she ruined my book! I didn't mind the hug, though.

Static

Izzy: Yes! Noah doesn't think Izzy is so completely psycho that he doesn't want to hang out with her! Yes! Izzy is happy!

Static

End of Confessionals

Chris: Alright campers, it's time for the final part of the challenge!

Noah: [sarcastically] OMG Chris, I'm so freaking excited.

Courtney: Can you get on with it?

Chris: Whatever, whatever. You see this?

(He points behind him, where thousands of thin metal square stakes all stand next to each other to form a platform)

Chris: Izzy and Chef will each stand up there. Using wooden staves, their job is to knock the other person off. But, here's the part where the luck comes into play! Randomly, some of those square metal things will fall into the earth, creating a hole or a drop-off. Occasionally some will pop back up, but normally when one pops up, you don't want to step on it. 'Cause it'll be sharp. Way sharp. So, over time, the platform will get smaller and smaller, and pointier and pointier, until somebody falls off. Oh, Fred the Dumbhead can demonstrate again.

(Robotic arms pull Frederic out of the quicksand)

Frederic: Cough Cough. About time ya, like, got me out, homie. That was not, like, cool, man.

Chris: Enough whining! Get your lazy butt to work!

(The robotic arms toss Frederic into the middle of the platform. The stakes he's standing on immediately fall down, and he lands hard on the ground eight or nine feet below. Then a bunch of spiked stakes spring up underneath him)

Frederic: Yowch! Chris, homie, you are one sick dude. Like, in a bad way, homie.

Chris: I appreciate that. Izzy and Chef. It's time to get your game on and get ready to rumble!

Noah: This isn't wrestling, Chris.

Chris: Eh, close enough. Begin!

(Chef and Izzy hop up onto the stakes, each wielding a wooden stick to be used as a weapon. Izzy twirls hers and smacks Chef on the head. The cook gets angry and chases her around the platform, only to step on a pointy stake and jump back. Izzy laughs and then dodges sideways as the stakes beneath her fall away. Chef gets back up and lunges at her, but she sidesteps and he goes flying onto the edge of the platform. Suddenly, the stakes beneath him collapse and he's left hanging from the edge by one hand. His wooden stave has fallen to the ground. Izzy walks over slowly)

Izzy: It's time to end this, Cheffy Boy!

Noah: Izzy! You already have invincibility!

Izzy: Invincibility, my foot. This is between Chef, and me.

(Just as she's about to strike, the stakes beneath her give way and she falls, landing on the ground)

Chef: Hah! Nobody beats Chef on his own show!

Chris: Hey, this isn't your show, it's mine. And now, with no campfire ceremony or anything, Chef gets to pick who's going home!

Chef: [grinning evilly] The person who I choose is…

…

...

…

…all of ya!

Chris: What? Chef! You can't send all of them home!

Chef: Why not?

Chris: WHY NOT?! That makes no sense! Pick one. And just one.

Chef: Fine. I pick…

…

…Izzy! That little prick is goin' down!

Chris: Uh, Chef? She has freaking invincibility! C'mon man. Stop dragging it out. Pick someone already!

Chef: Geez, alright. The person who is leaving this camp now and forever is…

…

…Justin.

Chris: What the crap, Chef? Justin isn't even here!

Chef: He's standin' right behind you, fool.

(True to Chef's word, the male model is right behind Chris, and Annette, Izzy, and Courtney are already swooning over him)

Justin: Hi Chris.

Chris: Bye Justin.

(He picks up the model and throws him into the lake)

Courtney, Izzy, and Annette: Aw.

Justin: No! My modeling contracts are in ruins!

(He sinks beneath the water with a gargling noise)

Chris: Alright Chef. Four strikes and you're out.

Chef: I believe that's one too many.

Chris: This isn't hockey! It's Total Drama!

Chef: Baseball. Not hockey.

Chris: Last chance Chef. Pick someone.

Chef: I'm doin' it, I'm doin' it, no need to rush me. I choose…

…

…Chris McLean.

Chris: You can't send me home! I'm the host of the show!

Chef: Take turns, you bully. Let me be host for a while!

Chris: You already were a couple episodes ago! And you sucked.

Chef: Now that there is just a biased opinion.

Chris: Okay Chef? You see those six over there? Courtney, Izzy, Noah, Annette, Blake, and Ezekiel. You can only get rid of them. Clear?

Chef: Sure, but that takes all the fun out of it!

(Chris draws a finger across his neck threateningly)

Chef: Alright.

(Courtney runs up to him and whispers something in his ear)

Chef: What? Get rid o' the bookworm? Not a bad idea, if I do say so myself. I just might do it. But I'll tell you who I'm not getting' rid of. I'm not getting' rid of Courtney, 'cause she'd sue my pants off if I did.

Courtney: Darn right I would.

Chef: And then I'm gonna keep Multitool and Scotland safe. More psychos to rival the evil Izzy.

Chris: I assume he means Mike and Blake. What about the others?

Chef: Hmm. What about…

…

…Gollumy teen.

Chris: Noah and Annette. Looks like one of you is going home. Please pick Annette, please pick Annette, please pick….

Chef: The person goin' home today is…

…

…nobody!

Chris: What?

Chef: If I can't get rid o' Izzy, I ain't getting' rid o' anyone.

Chris: Hmm. Fine. We have way too many episodes and way too little campers anyway. You hear that guys? Everybody's safe. For today!

(The seven campers cheer)

Blake: Seven really is a lucky number!

(Camera cuts to the Dock of Shame. It's still bright daylight out)

Chris: Another day gone, and nobody eliminated. Again. But it's all good here on Camp Wawanakwa. I leave you with these questions. Will Zeke listen to Courtney or to Mike? Is Noah starting to like Izzy? And who will get eliminated next time? That's right, no sissy non-eliminations in Episode Sixteen. See ya real soon, *[3] on TOTAL, DRAMA , THE ISLAND REBORN!

(Credits play)

Eliminated: Zoey, Mr. Coconut, Owen, Heather, Lightning, Dawn, Staci

Campers: Annette, Blake, Courtney, Ezekiel, Izzy, Mike, Noah

*[1] If you get this reference, I applaud you. If not, it's Dr. Seuss.

*[2] Inside Joke. Haha. Some people will get it.

*[3] Just a quote from the king of cartoons.

Thanks for reading! Please take some time to review. Who do you guys think Zeke will listen to? Expect an update soon.

~TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter

Next Time: The Sasquatchwanakwa is on the loose, and the contestants are desperate to either avoid him or escape him. But does Chris have anything to do with it?