Episode 17: Creature-Catcher
Hey viewers, sorry I haven't updated in forever. With any luck that won't happen again. Life has that annoying way of getting in the way, don't ya know? :) Anyway, I changed the challenge for this episode from what it said was up next last chapter to something better, and confessionals will no longer be in annoying italics. Just two small things to make the story better.
(Camera shows Chris standing on the Dock of Shame)
Chris: Last time, on Total Drama The Island Reborn, our old pal Sasquatchwanakwa kindly volunteered to help out with the challenge. The purple Yeti kidnapped our players one by one and brought them to his cave, where Mike turned into Chester and annoyed the crap out of everybody. Eventually Courtney and Noah tied for the win, but somehow immunity was instead given to Ezekiel, the loser of the bunch. In a dramatic elimination ceremony, Noah and Izzy teamed up against Courtney, Zeke betrayed the aforementioned Type A, and Mike was voted off. Also, Chef stiffed the Sasquatch and it's kinda ticked. What will the Bigfoot lookalike do for revenge? What will the next insane challenge be? And can Courtney and Noah possibly make any more enemies? Find out on the craziest episode yet of TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!
(Theme song plays. It shows the camera sweeping past the dock, where Chris waves at it. Chef smiles at it, then gulps as it comes nearer to him, and smacks him in the face. After he disappears the camera zooms up the cliff, where it shows a squirrel ounching Zeke in the face. As the camera "falls" off the cliff so does Zeke. Hitting the water, bubbles cover the screen. When they clear, Izzy is swimming away from a shark, only to turn around and bite the shark back. Above the water, Noah is sitting in a boat, reading his trademark book, when Zeke lands on him. Right after the moment of impact, the camera zooms to the forest, where Mike is petting a raccoon. The raccoon bites his finger, causing him to wince in pain, inhale deeply, and then scream at the raccoon. The camera zooms to the waterfall, where Annette is singing on top of a log that goes over the waterfall. At the bottom, Dawn is sitting cross-legged on a beam of wood going across a small lake, looking very peaceful. Suddenly, Annette flies past her and her mouth falls open. The camera moves to the outhouse confessional, where a bear is knocking on the door. Blake sticks his head out, screams, and then ducks back in. Chef's kitchen is then seen, with a small television in the background upon which Courtney and Cody can be seen. Lightning is dumping protein powder into his mouth, and then fist-pumps, while Heather is tied to a. chair, being force-fed Chef Hatchet's special soup by Chef himself. The camera moves outside to the campfire pit, where Owen is holding Mr. Coconut and rocking back and forth giggling. Staci is seen on the dock, blabbing on while reading from a gigantic stack of papers. The camera shifts a little, showing Chris on the other side of the dock,covering his ears and yelling. He runs around and falls into the water. When he surfaces, in classic cartoon style, his head steams over in anger, causing a fire. The camera follows the fire embers up, and then back down, revealing the campfire. Zoey is sitting in front of it, looking nervous, before her eyebrows scrunch up and she gives an evil grin, only to look around when she sees Zeke and Mike sitting on either side of her. The camera pans out to show all 13 contestants sitting on stools around the campfire, as Chris stands nearby and grins at the camera. A wooden sign is seen, where neon letters light up, saying TOTAL DRAMA THE ISLAND REBORN)
(Scene is the brand new dining hall. Ever since Commando Zoey blew up the original several weeks earlier, the remaining campers had eaten in the boathouse. Now, finally, a new dining hall had been built. It wasn't much different than the old one, it just looked a tad newer. All six campers were seated at one table with their untouched breakfasts in front of them)
Izzy: Okay, I have a riddle for you guys. How much ground could a ground hog hog if a ground hog could hog ground?
Ezekiel: A lot?
Izzy: I don't know! Want to find out?
(She pulls a ground hog out of her pocket. It takes one whiff of their breakfast, coughs, and falls over dead)
Noah: Overreact much?
Courtney: Like that's overreacting. Only people with as much willpower as me could stay alive after being near Chef's toxic meals. In fact, I'm surprised any of you are still around!
(A kitchen knife impales itself in the wooden wall next to them)
Chef: I hear you callin' my food toxic one more time, and I'll start usin' the radioactive ingredients left over from last season. Then we'll see what's toxic!
(The supposedly dead woodchuck opens one eye cautiously, watches Chef turn his back, wiggles its tongue at him, and walks away. Suddenly, bamboo poles seem to grow out of the floor and bend over, encaging the campers)
Noah: I swear, Chris takes pleasure out of this. The sicko.
Courtney: Let me out! I'm nedroclaustrophobic!
Noah: And what would that be?
Courtney: Fear of being stuck in small spaces with nerds!
Blake: I hope I'm not included in that phobia.
(Somebody walks into the dining hall, dropping a smoke bomb. The mysterious someone creeps toward the campers)
?: Guess who?
Ezekiel: Who!
?: Excuse me?
Ezekiel: You said guess who, eh. That's what I did.
Noah: Chris, we know its you. You can show yourself.
(The smoke clears, revealing the grinning host)
Chris: That was just a little warm-up for today's challenge!
Courtney: How exactly did you get bamboo to grow up out of the floor?
Chris: Hah, that was easy. Some old guy wanted our cow, so we sold it for some 'magic' beans. Knowing how screwed up this show normally is anyway, I'd figured I'd give it a try.
Annette: Beans, beans, they're good for you heart! The more you eat- - -
Noah: The more you copy Owen's lines.
Annette: [sarcastically] Well I'm sorry for making a cover of Owen's great hit single. Sheesh.
Chris: Hello? I'm running a show here! Today's challenge involves you people being, shall we say, hunters.
Courtney: Ahem. Get on with it.
Chris: Fine. Scattered throughout the island are five interns and ten former contestants. You must find and trap them. Use real traps, tranquilizer darts, tackle them, whatever. I don't care. Just capture them. Interns are one point, campers are five. There are also five creatures on the island for you to catch. The bear, Fang the mutant shark, Zeke's arch enemy the psycho squirrel, and the Sasquatchwanakwa, who's still T'ed at us for ripping him off last episode. Plus one mysterious animal who was previously thought dead. Any of these five are worth ten points. And then there's our old pal Chef.
Izzy: Izzy is liking the sound of this.
Chris: Catching Mr. Hatchet gives you 25 points. Here's the fun part; unlike everyone else, Chef doesn't know this challenge is going on. I can't wait for the look on his face when you all attack him!
Courtney: This is Planet Earth to Chris. Insane asylums were designed for you.
Chris: Actually, they were. Why else would they have been invented?
Noah: Um, asylums were invented several hundred years ago.
Chris: Darn, I need to stop giving away hints about my age. This is almost as mortifying as the time I slipped up and mentioned that I was Yoda's baby-sitter!
(The six campers stare at him)
Chris: What?! It's not like you don't have your secrets. You're the most dramatic people on television, for cryin' out loud! Just get out of here and capture some weirdos, will ya?
Static
Noah: Is this considered a sport? 'Cause if so, don't except me to do well.
Static
Chris: For those of you who think I'm old, you should take a look at your mom! That's right, I said it.
Static
End of Confessionals
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
(Chef is chopping mystery meat with a steely knife in the kitchen. Unbeknownst to him, Izzy has run up to the building and pulled herself onto the roof. She crawls slowly and surely along the gutter, eventually dropping onto a windowsill. She peers in at Chef and starts silently sliding the window open)
Annette: Hi Izzy!
(Izzy turns around to shush her, letting go of the window, which slams shut. Chef looks over his shoulder and sees them. As they run away, he charges. Somehow forgetting the window is there, the cook crashes into it)
Annette: Going after Chef, weren't you?
Izzy: Yes! And you ruined it!
Annette: Hey, I can't just stand and watch you get twenty-five points.
Izzy: Izzy's going to beat you, just watch.
(Suddenly, they spy three interns up ahead. One guy and a girl, and then Frederic. The two campers glance at each other and run at them. Before the three can react, Izzy has the two guys in a headlock and Annette has tackled the third)
Frederic: Yo, not, like, cool, homies.
(Scene switches to Courtney. She is creeping through the forest when she hears voices up ahead. Mike, Brick, and Trent are sitting on a log, chatting. Or more accurately, Mike and Brick are talking while Trent randomly comments about the number nine every now and then. Courtney hides in the high grass and takes note of a strange-looking pattern of leaves and sticks not too far away. It's obviously a trap. Courtney smiles, stands up, and walks over to the guys)
Courtney: Nice weather today, isn't it?
Brick: Way to be polite, ma'am. I commend you. However, I must warn you I am prepared to resist capture.
Trent: Yeah, what he said. But nine times.
Mike: Give it a rest, Courtney. It's three against one.
Courtney: I like my odds.
(She runs off in the direction of the pit trap, stepping near to the edge)
Mike: What's she up to?
Brick: If I had to guess, I'd say nothing good. I'm going after her.
(He stands up and walks quickly in the direction she took, followed by Mike and then Trent. After a minute the cadet stops to look around, but feels the ground give away underneath him. He and Mike fall into a hole filled with oil. Trent narrowly avoids the same fate, backpedalling as fast as he can to get away from the edge. The guitarist face palms himself nine times, and runs away)
Static
Courtney: I'm surprised that worked.
Static
Mike: Yeah, we were a bit dumb to fall for that.
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Brick: A soldier never admits defeat! It just looked like I fell in that pit.
Static
Trent: I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. I was lucky to escape. There! Said it nine times. Phew.
Static
End of Confessionals
(Camera moves to Noah. He's already caught an intern and is checking by the campfire pit for any more potential victims. Lightning and Jo run by, the former knocking over the bookworm)
Noah: Do you mind?
Lightning: Yeah! I mean, not really. No, err, sha-bam!
Jo: Hey! Struck-by-Lightning, shut up and keep up! We're in a race here.
Noah: So I see. Who's winning?
Lightning: Sha-Lightning is!
Jo: Don't kid yourself, Sir Mushy Brain, it's pretty clear I'm in the lead.
Lightning: Oh yeah?
(He steps in front of her. The jockette growls and tackles him, and they wrestle around on the ground for a while until they're both exhausted. Noah walks over and drapes it over them)
Noah: And the score is Noah: One. Athletic Idiots: Zero.
(Someone is again observing Chef Hatchet through the window. And someone else is observing that sometime. But this time the two aren't Izzy and Annette. The first one is the Sasquatchwanakwa, who is readying himself to march in and eat Chef. The cook probably tastes disgusting, but the yeti has a score to settle. The second someone would rather not have that happen, however. Ezekiel hides in the bushes, hoping to capture the beast. Neither of them move for a while, until Trent runs by with Courtney chasing after him)
Sasquatchwanakwa: Uh?
(The creature stands up and grabs Trent in one hand and Courtney in the other, shaking them around)
Courtney: Zeke! A little help here!
Ezekiel: I'll save you!
(He dashes at the Bigfoot and jumps on its neck. The Sasquatch, unable to support the three's combined weight, flings them off and falls over, knocking itself out on a rock)
Ezekiel: Woohoo!
Courtney: What just happened?
Trent: Whatever it was, it needs to happen eight more times. To make nine! NINE!
Courtney: How about this? I'll capture you. Once.
(She quickly binds his hands with a rubber band)
Trent: Eight more rubber bands, please.
Courtney: Geez. You get annoying real fast.
Trent: That's what they all say! Or at least nine of them.
Static
Ezekiel: That was epic, eh.
Static
Trent: They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it. They really do say it.
Static
End of Confessionals
(The scene switches to Blake, who so far has had no luck finding anyone. Suddenly, he spots Dawn petting a deer and sneaks towards her. Almost immediately, she turns towards him)
Dawn: Oh, there's no need to catch me. I'll come quietly.
(She walks over to him)
Dawn: Your aura's looking much better since the last time we saw each other. Your confidence must have improved.
Blake: I guess.
Dawn: If you need any help, I might be able to find where some of the others are hiding. Also, I'd like to say hello to Ezekiel while I'm here.
Blake: Sure.
(Speaking of Ezekiel, the prairie boy wandered deep into the forest after his encounter with the Sasquatchwanakwa. After a while he hid in the bushes, lying in wait to ambush anyone. It takes him a while to realize someone is hiding right next to him. It's Heather)
Heather: [glaring] Great. Looks like I have a homeschooler on my trail.
Ezekiel: Any chance you'll peacefully let me catch you, eh?
Heather: Don't be ridiculous.
(She shoves the prairie over and sprints away. Ezekiel gets up and pulls a coil of rope from a nearby tree. It was apparently part of a trap, as a tarp collapses somewhere close by. But that doesn't matter, as all Zeke wants is the rope. He gives chase, but Heather's longer legs are much faster than his. He stops to catch his breath, panting. Then he knots the rope into a bowline, forming a lasso. Then he runs after Heather again. The Canadian throws the rope perfectly. It loops over Heather's head and he pulls it tight)
Ezekiel: I may be Canadian, but believe me when I say there was never no finer cowpoke than Zeke the Brave.
Heather: Zeke the Brave? You have a phobia of squirrels!
Ezekiel: I'm just gonna tune you out, eh.
(The homeschooler sets about tying her up with the rope. When he's finished, his wrists are tied together, with her ankles the same)
Heather: Ahem! All you had to do was capture me, you idiot.
Ezekiel: Oh. Well, that still doesn't give ya a right to be mean, eh.
Heather: I'll be mean to whoever I want.
Ezekiel: Who's that?
Heather: You! Now untie me!
Ezekiel: Two can play at this game, eh. Maybe later.
(He gets up to walk away)
Heather: Zeke! Get back here!
(Dawn and Blake walk out of the woods)
Dawn: I'm certain there's a very red aura around here- - -Oh. Looks like someone got to Heather first.
Ezekiel: That'd be me, eh.
Dawn: Ezekiel! It's good to see you again!
Ezekiel: Same.
Dawn: I trust you haven't been as anti-Noah lately.
Ezekiel: A'yup. Mike was right. Er, you were right. Um, are we together now, eh?
Dawn: I believe so. I mean, I honestly didn't like you at first, but you've grown on me a lot- - -Watch out! I sense another evil aura coming right this way!
(The psychotic squirrel bolts out of the woods, headed straight for Zeke's face. The prairie boy ducks and it flies past him, thudding against the ground, only to turn around around and bare its tiny teeth)
Ezekiel: Uh, you can have Heather, eh.
Heather: Wait a second, since when am I always the one sacrificed?!
Blake: Less complaining, more getting attacked by squirrel.
(The three of them shove her towards the tiny monster, who starts biting her all over)
Blake: Hang on, that squirrel's worth ten points!
(He dashes forward and grabs it, cradling it in his arms. The thing sinks its teeth in his arm)
Blake: Ow! I'm not allowed to get rabies!
(He runs away screaming, but still managing to hold onto the squirrel)
Static
Heather: Okay, now I have squirrelophobia too.
Static
Blake: I can't feel my face. That's probably not a good sign.
End of Confessionals
Dawn: Zeke, someone's over there!
(She points at a rustling clump of bushes, from which a goth teenager emerges)
Ezekiel: Gwen!
Gwen: It's alright, I surrender. Believe me, the last thing I need today is to be tackled and shoved into a garbage bag, or whatever crazy stunts people pull in Season 5. Just consider me five points towards your victory.
(Scene switches to Noah, who is currently watching two large and round creatures pig out on wild blueberries. One is the bear. The other is Owen. The bookworm walks up to the fat boy and taps him on the shoulder)
Noah: Hey, Owen. Care to team up and take down the bear?
(The blonde teen shoves two fistfuls of blueberries into his mouth and swallows)
Owen: Anytime.
(He runs at the bear. The animal spots the several thousand pound teenager coming at him and whimpers. Then they collide and the bear is knocked flat on its back)
Noah: That was easy.
Owen: Hey! Don't remind me of staples when I'm hungry!
Noah: Owen, how much of what goes into your gigantic gullet is actually edible?
Owen: I dunno, maybe fifty fifty?
(Camera moves to Courtney, who is chasing an intern through the woods when the unlucky intern is promptly swallowed by Fang the Shark)
Courtney: Well, that was unexpected.
(She jumps in Fang's mouth after the intern, eventually pulling the terrified man out. She then kicks Fang in the nose and ties him up with rubber bands)
Intern: [in awe] Are you Wonderwoman?
Courtney: They offered me the role, but I didn't want the world to see me in that skimpy of an outfit.
Intern: Darn shame.
Courtney: Excuse me?
Intern: Nothing.
Static
Courtney: If there's one thing worse than an intern, it's a perverted intern.
Static
Intern: What a babe!
Static
(Fang licks his lips)
Static
End of Confessionals
(Chef is still in his kitchen. He's tossed several live frogs into a blender and is currently in the process of making a delicious green smoothie out of them. Annette and Izzy are outside, each on one side of the window. Sticking her tongue out at Izzy, Annette opens the window and crawls in. The crazy girl climbs back onto the roof and jumps into the chimney, determined to get to Chef first. Annette crawls under the table, only to bump into a terrified Dakota, who has been hiding from Chef since the challenge begun)
Dakota: [whispering] Are you here to capture me?
(Annette nods)
Dakota: Good. Let's go. Quickly!
(Before the terrible singer can protest, she is dragged back out through the window. Izzy, meanwhile exits the fireplace and sneaks up behind Chef, who turns around at the last second)
Chef: What the- - -Oh, it's you, you little piece of [bleeped out]. Come to meet your maker so soon?
Izzy: Quick comebacks won't win you any fights, Chef. Now, prepare to die.
Chef: It's on, girly, it's on!
(He dashes at her, only for the lunatic to do a backflip over the table, grabbing three knives while in midair. Landing on her feet, she quickly throws them at the loose ends of Chef's shirt and apron, pinning him to the wall)
Izzy: Caught you.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
(The six contestants are gathered at the beach, near the campfire pit, waiting for Chris to tell them the results)
Chris: Let's just cut to the chase here, shall we? In first place with twenty-seven points, we have...
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...Izzy!
Izzy: Three cheers for me!
Chris: Tied for second with twenty-six points each, we have...
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...Noah and Courtney!
Noah: Pleasure doing business with you.
Courtney: It's been anything but a pleasure.
Chris: Then, in fourth with a still pretty solid twenty points...
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...Ezekiel!
Ezekiel: Eh.
Chris: Looks like Annette and Blake are left. Very well. The person in fifth got fifteen points, while the last-placer earned only six. That last-placer is...
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...Annette.
Annette: Does this mean I'm eliminated?
Chris: Not quite. You see, you, Blake and Ezekiel are all still in danger of being eliminated. It's today's twist. Remember the fifth unknown creature? That none of you caught? Well, here he is. Stupid von Merkel is back!
(Out of the forest trudges the reanimated Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton. It roars)
Chris: Here's the deal. The three of you must try to escape Staci's great-great-great-grandfather's hungry jaws. The first one eaten is eliminated. Just like that. You may now begin avoiding being eaten.
(Right away, Stupid von Merkel lunges forward and swallows the three of them at exactly the same time. Since he's a skeleton, they all fall out through his rib cage)
Blake: Ugh. What happens now?
Chris: We say good-bye to Annette.
Annette: What?! But we all tied.
Chris: Yeah, about that. I don't like you. And it's my show. So, see ya later.
Annette: What about our illegal alliance?!
Chris: What'cha say? Can't hear you!
Annette: I'll be back!
Chris: No you won't. Stupid von Merkel, if you please.
(The dinosaur picks Annette up in his jaws, stomps over to the campfire pit, and drops her down the Chute of Shame before she even has time to sing)
Noah: Wow. My ears feel better already.
(Scene switches to Chris on the Dock of Shame at night)
Chris: Another thrilling episode gone by! And nine more left to go. Is Courtney still determined to crush Noah and Zeke? Does the Sasquatchwanakwa still long to eat Chef? And who will be the next to fall down the Chute of Shame? Find out next time, on TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!
(Credits play)
Eliminated: Zoey, Mr. Coconut, Owen, Heather, Lightning, Dawn, Staci, Mike, Annette
Contestants: Blake, Courtney, Ezekiel, Izzy, Noah
I feel like this was the first good chapter in a while, so I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review and check out my poll. I'll have Episode 18 out in maybe two weeks.
~TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter
Next Time: The whole crazy relationship between Dawn and Ezekiel is the subject of drama at the latest Aftermath!