Chapter 5: Start

Ichigo froze.

All those lifetimes, all those years fighting, and he had been a woman. Every single time. A woman who was in love with Grimmjow. They were partners, but somehow fate had screwed up. Somewhere along the line a piece of Ichigo had altered, and it changed everything.

"A woman?" Ichigo laughed, failing to keep his building hysteria at bay. "I can't even imagine me with tits."

Grimmjow smiled, but on the inside his emotions were spinning. Was Ichigo disgusted? Was telling him about their past enough to push his already teetering body off of the edge? Grimmjow, however upset he was, couldn't bring himself to regret telling the orangette. Ichigo was sure to find out one way or another, and it was better coming from himself anyways.

"Look, I know it's a lot, but don't freak out."

"'Don't freak out? You're kidding me. Right?"

As Grimmjow went to inhale, he realized just how badly his body was shaking. His hands wouldn't stop moving, and his knees threatened to give out at any moment. This rejection shit was doing quite a number on his body.

"I'm sorry." Grimmjow let his head hang in an almost shameful way. His heart hurt.

"Do you love me?"

Grimmjow's head shot up and his eyes caught Ichigo's again as quickly as he could manage. Grimmjow bit his lip. It wasn't really much of a question.

"Of course. I-I told you during the beginning, when we first fell in love, that I would never stop loving you, no matter what form you took."

Ichigo's body seemed to start pacing on its own accord. Tightened fists stayed hidden in the darkness of his pockets, and the frown on his face felt like it would stay there forever. Ichigo looked at Grimmjow's own sadden infused face, how his eyes held a look of terrible sorrow, and his stance was one of someone defeated.

When am I going to stop hurting him? Ichigo thought to himself.

"You still love me, even though I'm a man?" Ichigo turned away from looking at the wall and faced Grimmjow will a determined look.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"And you'd love me, even if I only had one eye and my legs were missing?"

Grimmjow snorted and finally broke the eye contact in favor of looking down again. "Please do not take this so lightly, Ichigo."

"Would you?" The deep, insistent voice called out to Grimmjow, no matter how hard he tried to look away. No matter anything, really. His only weakness.

"Yes, even then."

"Then it's okay."

Ichigo smiled as the blue-haired man stood abruptly and took small, shaking steps towards him. His blue eyes were tinted with uncertainty, but yet he held a hand outstretched towards his lover.

"Ichigo?" He asked, voice brimming with a sea of emotion.

"It's okay, because I can love you too. Not yet, but I know I will."

Grimmjow's heart stopped as Ichigo's own hand stretched out and grabbed his own, intertwining the fingers like he himself usually did. With a uncharacteristically larger smile, Grimmjow tugged on Ichigo's hand and brought him into his awaiting arms. Ichigo's laughs only made his grin wider, if that was even possible.

"God, Ichigo!" The larger man whispered as he tightened his hold on Ichigo's small frame. As he inhaled his nose was filled with the familiar scent of Ichigo, and Grimmjow let out a laugh full of disbelief.

"You-I-we-" Grimmjow laughed at his own stupidity. "I-I don't even know what to say!"

Ichigo gently pulled himself out of the bluenette's arms, his body protesting as he left the heat for chilled air. Although they had been sharing body heat on seconds before, the cold air in the room hit Ichigo's skin like a snowball to the face. He's so warm.

"Well," Ichigo started with a mocking smile. "You can ask me on a date, or maybe even ask me to be your boyfriend."

A large hand wove into Ichigo's bright orange locks and gently played with the hair it found. A sigh of content left the orangette's lips and the hand started to scratch lightly. Ichigo couldn't help but feel like some sort of animal at that moment, a dog reveling in his master's touch.

But Grimmjow wasn't his master. He was his lover.

"Will you be mine, Ichi? My only love?" Grimmjow asked sweetly as he removed his hand from the orange locks and cradled Ichigo's beautiful face in his hands.

"O-of course I will."

"Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

Ichigo closed his eyes to think. "I don't think I am, but-"

"Good." Grimmjow kissed Ichigo's tan forehead. "We'll be leaving at six. Wear something nice."

With that, the taller man winked at the stunned man in front of him and walked away, closing the door behind him as he went. When Ichigo's heart finally stopped beating like a war drum, the realization of what had just happened hit him. Red crawled up his neck and to his ears.

"Damn it." Ichigo said to himself. "I don't have anything to wear."

Later that day, as Ichigo passed the living room where Grimmjow was watching TV, he was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. Ichigo had never really been on a date with anyone before, and it probably had something to do with the fact that he had always been promised to him. To Grimm.

So, when Ichigo noticed Grimmjow's little sister exiting the room, Ichigo followed until they were out of Grimmjow's hearing range before running up to her.

"Hey, hey Nel!" He called to get her attention.

She paused in her walking, and turned to face the boy walking towards her at a quick pace. When Ichigo finally reached her they stood in an awkward silence, each contemplating what to say.

"I need your help with something." Ichigo asked quietly.

"What's up Ichi?"

"Grimmjow asked me on a date and-" Ichigo tried to explain, but stopped as Nel held in a delighted scream, her eyes bulging with contained excitement.

"You're kidding." She asked, and Ichigo shook his head with a small smile.

"Let's go to my room!"

She reached down and grabbed his hand, pulling him so quickly down the hallway that he almost fell face-first onto the floor. It only took a moment for his brain to right itself, and he straightened up and followed the tall woman down the hall. Her sea-green hair gently flowed behind her, and Ichigo was genuinely struck by her beauty. Not in a romantic way, of course.

Her room was pink, and not just a little pink. It was so covered in the bright color that Ichigo almost had to squint upon entering. It certainly wasn't something he'd been expecting.

"Go on, sit down! I make clothing, so I'm sure I have something fabulous in here for you! Hang on just a sec!" She swung open a door that looked like it lead into a closet, but with a closer look Ichigo noticed it went into another room full of equipment and clothing. Ichigo gently plopped down on the overly pick bed and waiting on the bubbly woman to return.

His eyes trailed around the room, landing on bookshelves and paintings. A laptop was stationed in one of the corners, the animated screen-saver signaling it was still on. Ichigo played with his thumbs while waiting patiently for Nel to return. As if by an unknown force, Ichigo's eyes glued to a picture frame. Something about it...

Ichigo couldn't help but stand and gingerly walk over to it. It was a picture of Nel, more or less, looking a bit older. Her eyes were closed as she smiled at the camera, but that wasn't what caught Ichigo's attention. What did was the very obvious form of Grimmjow, his own smile matching her's and an arm casually slung over her thin shoulders. In a moment of revelation Ichigo realized this picture was from a different life. He looked around, searching for others, and when he did he almost tripped over his feet in his haste. Grimmjow and Nel were both in this picture, but this time there was a third standing in between them. A woman.

With bright orange hair.

The orange-haired female had Grimmjow's hand clasped in her own, and her other arm looped through Nel's. Grimmjow's hair style was once again different, which led the stoic observer to believe it was another time period.

"That's you, ya know."

Ichigo almost dropped to the ground with fear. Almost. Instead, he turned around, keeping quiet as he noticed how upset Nel's expression was.

"That picture was taken three lifetimes ago. It was the day Grimmjow finally asked you out that lifetime, and you came running to me." She laughed. " I made that dress for you, like I always do."

"Nel..." Ichigo started as the woman started to cry.

"No, don't worry about me! I'm okay, I promise." She tried to laugh it off. "Anyways, I found something ultra cute for you. Here, try it on!"

Ichigo grabbed the bundle of clothes in a haze, walked into the closet, and changed with a overworking mind.

This had happened before. Many times.

The black dress pants fit nicely. Ichigo slid the white wife beater on before buttoning up the snug white dress shirt. The tie was medium length and gray, and the orangette agreed with the neutral colors. Anything and everything clashed with his hair. Before exiting Ichigo tucked the shirt into his pants.

"How do I look?" he asked almost timidly, posing so he could make her smile, even if only a little.

Her eyes cleared of their sadness, and her frown reversed as she exclaimed. "Perfect! It's the best one yet!"

Ichigo was nervous.

Wait, that was a fucking understatement.

"Ichi, you look perfect. And besides Grimmy loves you for you." Nel finished putting the scarf around Ichigo's tense neck.

"Yeah." Ichigo smiled as he remembered Grimmjow telling him the very same thing just a few hours ago himself. His heart was beating with excitement, nerves, and whatever other mix of adjectives to describe his first date.

Well, in this life.

"Grimm just texted me and said he'd be down in a minute. You ready?"

"As much as I can be, I guess!"

"Come on, you look fine!" Nel insisted as Ichigo tried fixing his hair for the seventh time.

"That's true." A deep voice came from behind Ichigo, and he froze at the sound of that wonderful voice.

Grimmjow looked good enough to eat, Ichigo mumbled inside his head.

A smile lit Grimmjow's face before he extended his hand towards Ichigo, waiting for him to take it. This time Ichigo didn't hesitate to weave his fingers through the hand he was getting used to holding. Ichigo walked into his arms, and the taller man gave his a gentle hug.

"Ready?" Grimmjow whispered.

Ichigo nodded and moved to leave along with Grimmjow's

"Wait!" Nel called. They both turned to see her waving a camera around, the now familiar sad smile once again on her face. "For the memories."

Although Ichigo was really against getting his picture taken, he understood why Nel wanted to so badly. Just because Ichigo was still behind on his memories didn't mean that he failed to see that this might not be the final life. Might not be the final first date.

"Okay Nel."

He moved in close the Grimmjow, and gave a genuine smile to appease the uncharacteristically quiet woman. The flash clicked, and then the camera was lowered.

"I'll put it in a frame and date it. You guys have fun!"

Ichigo held Grimmjow's hand as he drove the sleek black car. The light in the sky was fading by this time, and the stars were coming out and decorating the clear sky. The music in the car was turned off, but the silence wasn't awkward. It was comfortable, because their souls knew each other so well, even if their current bodies and minds did not. Grimmjow pulled the car into a parking lot, and Ichigo stepped out and sized the building up with his eyes.

"This looks awful fancy." Ichigo remarked.

Grimmjow scoffed. "That's 'cause it is."

The inside was even more impressive than the out. The crowds of people were dignified and dressed in a similar fashion to Grimmjow and Ichigo. Ichigo was relieved he'd gotten someone to dress him. He hadn't been expecting...this.

"This way Ichi." Grimmjow tugged on his hand.

They followed the waiter to a table set so far off from the other people that no one could see them from any angle, no matter which way they twisted. Ichigo reluctantly sat down on the cushioned chair as Grimmjow held it out for him, and he followed the other man's body as he sat down across from him.

"It's awful private." The orangette fiddled with the edge of the pristine white tablecloth.

With a nostalgic sigh, Grimmjow smiled. "We always sit here."

"Oh."

"Ichi...it would be best not to think too much about it." Grimmjow suggested.

The thought was nice. There was, however, no possible way to stop thinking about it. In fact, it's all Ichigo had been thinking about since he had woken up with the strange people who'd saved him. Sometimes the sheer force of his thoughts made him want to be sick, but he kept that fact to himself.

"Okay."

"Um," Grimmjow cleared his throat. "I already ordered for the both of us, too. You always-"

Grimmjow cut himself off with a guarded look.

"Not thinking about it." Ichigo reassured as best he could.

"I'm sorry."

Ichigo understood, he really did. He also understood that Grimmjow meant to harm by slipping up about his past, and the orangette let it slide off of him. He may still love the female version of his better, but he'd have to used to the male version now.

A nicely dressed waiter balanced two plates on his palms, setting a larger one in front of Grimmjow and the other in front of himself. Ichigo looked down, momentarily blanking on what it could possibly be on the plate.

"What is it?" Ichigo eyed the food before him. Giant noodles covered in cheese and some sort of tomato sauce. It was definitely an Italian dish.

"Manicotti. Try it." he urged, taking a bite of his own food.

Ichigo hesitated, his fork poised directly over the food. Grimmjow had said it was his favorite, but...

Ichigo shut his inner dialog up and took a bite, determined to make the best of the situation handed to him.

"That was really good, Grim!" Ichigo peeked shyly at said man from the corner of his eye. "Thank you."

Ichigo was nervous.

For the second time tonight, he was nervous.

And, on top of that, he didn't understand why.

"Anything for you, Ichi." Grimmjow ruffled Ichigo's famous orange hair affectionately. Ichigo giggled at the treatment, playfully pushing the hand away and trying to fix the mess back as best he could. After realizing it wouldn't go back, he laughed it off. It didn't matter, especially when Grimmjow was looking at his with suck a love-stricken gaze.

"I love you." Grimmjow whispered.

The shattering words made Ichigo stop moving, and alongside of that it also made his heart and his lungs freeze as well. Somehow, this time around, the way Grimmjow had whispered those three words was different. Something had changed, and now the words seemed...a lot more real.

"Grimm..."

"No," He interrupted, "don't say it back yet, unless you really mean it."

"Alright." Ichigo was upset with himself, but it wasn't the right time yet. However, if their relationship kept on this path...

"Hey, Ichi?" Grimmjow gently turned Ichigo's body so they were facing each other.

"Yeah?"

"Can I-can I kiss you?"

The thought of kissing the other man was even more delicious than the idea of having Manicotti again. He nodded, not trusting his voice and not wanting to break the tension in the air, for it was strung way too tight to be comfortable.

Grimmjow leaned forward, but since he was so much taller, Ichigo had to rise up on his tip-toes to reach those perfect lips. Ichigo wound his arms around Grimmjow's neck, and the bluenette wound his own around Ichigo's thin waist. Tempting lips were only a hair's width away from connecting now, but the stayed there, breathing each other in and making the moment last as long as they could. Ichigo moved to finally close the distance.

He closed his eyes, held his breath, and leaned in.

The ear piercing shriek caught Ichigo before the feeling of pain and soaring through the air.

And as his disoriented body hit the hood of a car with a sickening crunch, Ichigo passed out. His broken body slumped to the concrete, completely unaware of the voice screaming his name.

Chapter 5: End

This hasn't been edited becauuuuse I'm sleepy. So, if you see errors, ignore them or something. I'll get to it eventually.