Ruthie keeps mostly quiet while Robbie tries small talk. They're about a half a mile away from the church and Robbie has done all but made Jeff Goldblum impressions to get Ruthie out of her funky mood. She is staring out the window, and when she doesn't even bother to acknowledge him, he finally gives up and begins to scan the radio for decent music. Ruthie grips her hand tightly around the phone she's carrying inside the pocket of her hoodie. She didn't even bother to change clothes before they left. Robbie seems to settle for a song that sounds good enough, but when he starts to render his interpretation of "All the Right Moves" by One Republic, out loud, it mostly comes out as shrieks of toneless words. Ruthie, horrified, quickly turns the radio off, leaving him half ways through a verse, before the car is left in total silence.
They don't say a word the rest of the way.
When Ruthie and Robbie enter the church hall, the first person they see is Lucy. She looks all kinds of crazy. Kevin stands behind her, and he looks tired. Ruthie feels sorry for the poor sap, because it's a well-known fact that Lucy gets kind of loony when she's under stress. The feeling only last about a second, because what he does next will definitely earn him a couple of punches to the arm. Kevin is pointing right at Ruthie, and that's all it takes for Lucy to turn and spot her. Kevin takes this as a chance to sprint out of there. Lucy comes charging at them, her hair sticking out in weird ways, but Ruthie is not about to say anything.
"Did you bring them?" she says quickly, demanding with open arms
"Here" Ruthie, sort of scared, throws the pile into Lucy's arms.
Robbie is standing next to Ruthie and hands Lucy the ipod, more gently of course. He has a goofy grin plastered all over his face and Ruthie notices the weird look (that's almost looks like longing) he gives Lucy, who is so preoccupied with her own problems, she seems oblivious to the fact.
"Oh no you don't!" Ruthie warns and before Robbie can say anything, she hoists him by the arm, dragging him across the room, leaving Lucy looking on confused.
When they are within safe distance of any eavesdroppers, she gives him a look that hopefully tells him that she is capable of murder, as she lets go.
"What?" he asks, looking annoyed.
"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed, looked around to see that no one could hear them.
"Helping out, what do you mean?"
"No, No. I mean what's up with the puppy dog eyes you were giving Lucy, over there?" she points at Lucy for effect, and Ruthie sees she is looking at the pile of CD's in her hand.
And when he doesn't say anything, she knows she's figured something out, something she kind of wishes she hadn't.
" Why did you really come back?"
"I told you already." He stiffens, as he brings his voice just below a whisper, and looks around to see who is within earshot.
"Robbie. She's married." She whispered cautiously.
"I'm not…I wasn't going to do anything" he trails off weakly, as he looks away.
Robbie was looking at Lucy. Ruthie remembers that look. She remembers the longing and the wanting in that stare. But she also remembers the hurt accompanied with it, and the heartbreak, and Ruthie is damn sure that at that moment, when Kevin appears next to Lucy and he leans in to give his wife a kiss on the lips as he makes small circles around her back and all creases of worry or stress disappear from her face, Ruthie knows exactly was Robbie is feeling.
He looks away desolately.
"You can't come here and destroy her life." she warns, because that's what a good sister did.
"I'm going to go and see if your dad needs any help" he says, changing the subject.
"I'm sorry"
Because she is. She is also familiar with the impossible.
He turns around, "Just don't, OK" he raises his hands in dismissal, and walks away.
---
She wants to stay at the corner she is currently standing in, and sulk. That's all she wants. Robbie is avoiding her now, and he is helping her mom put up the tables. The twins are supposed to be helping but they are playing with Savannah and hitting each other with balloons. Martin went home, Ruthie didn't ask. Honest. It was her mom who causally told her when they bumped into each other in the bathroom. Probably getting ready for Jane. Though, tonight Ruthie has bigger fish to fry. A scrawny two timing jerk to slap.
How could T-bone do this to her? Wasn't he the one she was supposed to trust? She had chosen him, and he'd betrayed her, with Jane to add insult to injury. The one girl that every guy seemed to chose over her. Martin and now T-bone? Who was next? Was Jane going to go find Peter and date him too?
A part of her wondered if Martin already knows? No, with Martin there would have defiantly been punches and bloody noses. Kevin was still here. So no, no murders in Glenoak, at least.
That knowledge brings comfort to her.
Jane's giggles echo through the small hall. It penetrates over the music playing in the background. Her head is thrown back and T-bone stands next to her laughing.
Odd, that Ruthie almost forgot that laugh because it's seems like forever since she last heard it.
It's throaty and jovial.
Ruthie is still in the corner, where she was supposed to be sulking, but she can't help and watch them from the small space she made her own.
She should be angry, after all Jane and T-bone were probably sleeping together, but she stands there just watching them.
T-bone is the one to notice her, and he waves a hand at Ruthie when he makes his way toward her. Ruthie notices that Jane's smile disappears and she just stand there, hands folder over her chest.
His curly hair looks blown, probably from the wind outside. He is wearing a different shirt then the one he left with. This one is black. Before she can react in anyway, she feels his arms encircling her in a hug. He smells of Downey, fresh breeze. Her mom use to use it, and Ruthie use to love it, until her mom switched to one that smelled of meadows and rain.
She doesn't return the hug; instead her arms hang on each side like death weight.
He steps back and she pulls the Blackberry out. He goes pale in the face, and doesn't even try to meet her eyes, but instead looks at the phone in her hand.
"Here" she shoves the small devise at him, and he stammers a few steps, the ghostly face still there.
She snorts bitterly as she tries to move pass him. The glossy feeling of tears is clouding her eyes, and she just wants to get away from him.
Hadn't he been the one that would never break her heart?
He reaches out, and manages to grab one of her wrists.
"We need to talk" he says, his voice thin and crackly.
Ruthie doesn't know why, but she nods, and pulls her hand away.
----
The parking lot has a total of about seven cars. Most of the people are in the hall helping out, so is pretty empty when they get there.
"I don't know where to start." He says, as he paces around, rubbing his face with both his hands.
"Well why don't you start at the part when you cheated on me with Jane?" she offers, because that was the obvious place to begin.
He looks at her for a good moment before begrudgingly letting out a laugh.
"You're laughing?" Ruthie wishes she had kept her phone so she could throw it at him right now. "I don't think any of this is funny."
His laughter dies down.
"I have a better idea." He sneers. "Why don't we start at the beginning? When you and Martin use to sneak around in the middle of the night when I was gone?"
"You knew?" She feels her voice go small.
"You're not even going to try and deny it?" he laughs bitterly when looks way.
She is too taken aback by his change of tone, she almost doesn't recognize him.
"Its true."
"I know it is" he says irritated.
"But we never did anything we needed to feel ashamed of. There had been times when I needed a friend because I was scared, and he was there. Only as a friend. Nothing else." And it was not until she hears herself say it that she realized that innocence of it all. The jokes, the snacks, everything. Martin never asked or took.
Her mind quickly goes back to earlier, when T-bone was on top of her, both of them lying on that couch. She recalls how they got there. T-bone had started to unbutton her shirt first, and how his hands were the first to roam. T-bone took, and took.
"Are you sure that's all it was?" he asks doubtingly.
"That's all it was for me." She says.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know. I guess I thought you would get mad."
"Just tell me you don't love him" Its sounds like a plea, whether he'd meant for it or not.
"I cant. I'm not sure. I might feel something for him." she speaks honestly, perhaps the most honesty she has given him since his return.
He looks angry and resentful when she says this.
"I've known all along. Ever since Jane told me about you two. I just knew that every time you finished talking to me on the phone you were going to run and call… him" he voice was eerily calm now.
He had taken to walking back and forth the parking lot space, not really meeting her eyes.
"You slept with Jane." She counters back, flatly.
"So I did." He admits in his artificially calm voice. "I didn't know what to do. I was losing you and I figured it was only a matter of time before you left me. So, when Jane told me that she could give me what you couldn't" he broke off, then.
T-bone's voice was beginning to crackle; she could hear it and Ruthie knew that the fall was near.
"I took it, even though I knew you would stay" he finished off.
"You knew I would never leave you, and you still did it." She lets out a harsh chuckle, when the words come out, because its true, Ruthie would never have hurt him like that.
"Yes. What difference does any of it make in the end? You're never going to love me. Not after this." And that's when it happened. The crack, the moment he broke.
There is silence for a moment, and both just stood there taking in the truth for what it was.
"I forgive you, for what its worth." Ruthie says it and finds that she means it. She doesn't know why, but she does. At that moment, she realizes that in a way it wasn't fare to cast all the blame on him. She should have just stayed alone, but she'd dragged T-bone into her mess. This is what he'd become because of it, what she had helped create for her own selfish reasons of wanting a quick solution. He did of course chose to sleep with Jane, so that, well she could learn to forgive him if enough time passed, maybe.
"Why?" he asks surprised.
"Because I should have told you about it myself. You shouldn't have heard it from Jane or anyone else."
"I still love you." He stumbles over the words when they come out. "Can you give us another chance?"
She shakes her head, and he lets his drop, defeated at her response.
She is half ways back when she turns around again, and asks the question that's been bugging her since he told her.
"Is he really dating Jane?" She asks, because she had to know, T-bone at least owned her that much.
He shakes his head, looking shameful.
How could she be so stupid?
---
A/n: Hey you guys! I know i said this was going to be the last chapter but I'm actually trying to cut the chapter I already have and get some things out of the way before ruthie and martin meet up again. sorry. I hope you guys don't mind. I've re-written the last chapter completely, so that is why its taking me a while. Thanks for all the great reviews, you guys are too awesome!