"I don't understand why you're staying," Jim said angrily on the other end of the communticator. "We just got a mission, I know you heard about it."

I could do nothing but sigh unhappily as I sat on the bed, knowing he wouldn't take it well. "There's more opportunties for me here."

"Like what?" he demanded, nearly yelling.

"I don't know Jim," I yelled back, feeling tears burning my eyes, wishing I could see him. "There's better cases, more room for me to further my education so I can settle into a field."

I heard Jim scoff on the other line. "That's bullshit and you know it," he told me bitterly. "Chief Sullivan has been looking at you to replace her when she retires. Your opportunity is here, Ellie. You're just running away like you always do."

I sat on the bed staring at the wall as I tried to clear my throat of my tears, refusing to let him know I was crying; knowing he would feel guilty and then apologize. But he was right, I was running away; and it's not like I could tell him I was choosing a guy I barely knew over him. And all of that made it so much more harder to not cry.

"Yeah," Jim said nearly spitting, "I thought so." And even then I could say nothing, fueling his anger. "There's a meeting Spock and I have to go to before we leave," he said harshly before turning off his communicator; leaving me still holding mine to my ear as though he would come back and tell me it was okay, he would give me time to see that my place was with him on the Enterprise, and that he'd call me later. But of course he couldn't, and even then he wouldn't have. But that small, stupid, part of me still hoped for it.

In the end it was John who took the communicator out of my hand and turned it off, I hadn't even known he'd come back to the room. "Are you alright Elenore?" he asked softly as he looked down at me.

I sniffed and scratched my nose, blinking away all tears that threatened to fall. "Of course," I told him with a fake smile, under no circumstance would I ever be willing to cry in front of him. "Are you ready for dinner?" I asked before wrapping the scarf he'd given me around my neck and grabbing my bag. Though when I turned to look at him I could see on his face he wasn't buying it, nor would he let it go.

"You told me of your mother," he said shocking me. "How she died, how you watched her die. And of your father, though it took more prodding for you to open up about him. And then Sarah, but I just about had to force that one out of you." He said all of this while watching me closely, his blue eyes narrowed as he stared at my surprised face.

"What's your point?" I asked him softly, not seeing one.

He stepped closer to me, forcing my head back so I could see his face. "My point," he said lowly, tucking my hair behind my ear, "is not once did you show any sign of tears. But your cousin, who is alive and well with no threat of danger, yells at you and now you're fighting not to cry. Why is that?"

I did nothing more than stare up at him, giving him no answer though he had asked for one. But in the end, by that point, I guess he knew well enough to already know. I didn't even have to answer.

"You really have no one else, do you?" he whispered, running his thumb over my cheek gently. I could do no more than shake my head, realizing just how alone I was in England; Jim in America soon to be lightyears away. Cold seeped under my skin when John stepped away, grabbing the coat I hadn't known he'd taken off - he had been there quite some time cause he'd known Jim had yelled at me, which meant he had heard him. "That isn't entirely true," he said nonchalantly as he did the buttons, turning to me as he opened the door. "We're having indian," he told me as I walked out of the door.

And that was that. He had just said that Jim wasn't the only person I had, admitting that I now had him, but he masked it with flippancy and a wild change in the conversation. But it made me smile softly anyways, and when I looked up at him in the elevator to meet his eyes the corners of his mouth curled before he turned his eyes away. And it made my smile grow a little more, a warmth spreading in my chest as I stood beside him feeling his hand burning against my back. But it was nothing compared to the fire that blazed in my blood, scorching me from within, when he pressed his lips against my temple before stepping out of the lift; leaving me to follow after him. And in that moment, my chest flushed and my heart racing, I would have followed him anywhere.

...

It was a few weeks later that the metephorcal shit hit the fan, and even then it wasn't an explosion of every warning sign I had missed. It was almost like he had eased me into it. He asked me little questions such as; "What would you be willing to do for Jim?" to which my only answer was anything. And that led to, "would you kill for him?"

How was I supposed to answer that, I could barely even think of what I was willing to do, let alone they were very strange and off putting questions; and I may have noticed the strangeness if he had not spread it out over days, and he only asked in one of his his quiet moments - and lord he had many of them where he retreated into his mind, wheels turning and plans being formed. And I would never have guessed it all had revolved around what he would do with me.

"I suppose," was all I had answered him; seeing the dissatisfaction on his face that I did not say more, that I did not swear I would kill anyone or anything for the only person I loved. And even then, disappointment only slight in his eyes, I knew he could see on my face that I would. Which was why one night he had asked me, with precise hesitation in his voice: "what would you do if I told you I had killed for my family?"

He had asked it as we laid together before sleep, the simple quiet moments where we'd either talk or just lay in the other's company. It had shocked me, stunned me speechless for a few minutes, and he just laid beside me waiting for me to respond. "Have you?" was all I could ask, even before he told me I knew he had - it was in his eyes, it was where his darkness had come from. And so I fought to say something, anything really; what could I say, was it recent. Did I know you then? I mean that might have gotten me killed, if you want to look at it logically. But in all honesty, that wasn't really what I was thinking. I don't know why, perhaps the sadness in his voice or my own feelings for him, but I asked "Did it make a difference?"

"No."

That one word changed everything. It took away all my panic, all the blaring warning signs that there was something wrong with this. The way his voice wrapped around that single syllable was so wrought with sadness and failure and regret that I could do nothing more than realize this was a man who had done everything he could for his family, only to be faced with his inability to. And so I did the only thing I could do, apologies meaning nothing, I turned and laid my head against his chest. It surprised him, I could tell from how he hesitated before wrapping his arm around me - but I didn't see the small curl of his lips, the gleam in his eye as he realized I was completely his. Call me stupid or gullible, but I bought every ounce of emotion I heard. I still do. And I think that was the moment I actually realized I was in love with him, cause it didn't turn me away from him like it should have. It didn't make me afraid he was the "bad guy" like you probably think he was. In that moment, hearing the ageless sadness in his voice, I thought he was just as broken as I was. For all my suffering and all my loss and pain, I still had Jim. He didn't have anyone.

I only realize now that may have been one of the reasons he liked me so much, why I was so different from all the other "ordinary" humans. Of all the billions of people in the world, and the even more vast number in the galaxy, there was only one person I called family. Only one who called me family. That meant something to him. I didn't realize it had meant everything.

So this was technically the start of the movie. The mission was Nibiru, saving the planet from the volcano, and then after before Kirk and Spock were yelled at by Pike. So next chapter will be John showing his true colors. I hope you all are still liking it.