Marianamr: thanks for reviewing, I'm so glad you like it. I've been trying really hard to have her say things that show he does actually care about her, even though he isn't being very nice. So I've been trying to show his layers through her, and it's been so hard and I haven't been sure if I was even doing it well. So thank you so much for your review, it really meant a lot to me.

I sat quietly in the small dark building, waiting for John to return from the hospital - he hadn't really answered me, in all honesty I don't think even he knew what to do with me. And so he told me to sit and wait, to not go outside until he returned. I realized after an hour he was going to see Thomas Harewood, at least he would when Thomas took his lunch break to visit his daughter. I looked at a few of the papers lining his desk but most of them were just equations, some of which looked like the ones I had seen in Scotty's notebook but I had never had any interest in that kind of science. I didn't realize then that I was staring at the formulas John had constructed himself, ones for him - and ones for me. It was completely lost on me that I had held in my hands the plans John had spent hours making and perfecting.

I looked up when John returned, planning to ask why he had needed Lucille to get to Thomas, but my stomach clenched when I saw the bag of food in his hand. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before, needless to say I didn't do anything but shove food in my mouth until I had eaten all he'd brought me. "Why did you need Lucille?" I asked after I'd finished, sitting beside him, leaning against the wall.

"Elenore," he sighed raising his eyes to the ceiling, about to say once again he wasn't going to tell me.

"John," I said exasperated, interrupting him, "could you just give me an answer?" I asked looking over at him to see his brows raised in amusement though he did not open his mouth to speak. I nearly rolled my eyes and punched him, that's how frustrated I was - I was just so sure that if he gave me something then I would understand, cause it had to be a good reason because I wasn't wrong about him. "Please?"

He looked at me for a few moments, his lips curled in a half smile before facing forward. "I gave him a cure for his daughter," he answered.

There, see, he wasn't completely horrible which meant the crazy things he made me feel didn't make me a bad person. "But nothing's been found to cure it," I said as I thought, cause medically speaking everything had been tried to make her better and it had all failed. So it didn't make any sense; at least not until I remembered the list he'd given me. "Your blood?"

"Mm," he hummed looking over at me, close enough for me to raise my chin and kiss him if I wanted - a thought I quickly shoved aside. "Smart girl, Elenore. I wonder if you'll get the rest," he said before standing.

"The rest?" I asked taking his hand letting me pull to my feet. "You mean the questions you still haven't answered?"

He smiled before stepping closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to his chest. "You'll figure it out later, if you're smart enough," he said, and I thought he was honestly teasing - like a normal person would. "You do love a good puzzle."

I stared up at him in surprise, at him for knowing me well enough to know I was now hopelessly intrigued, and at myself for relaxing completely in his arms - my stupid heart beating faster at his nearness and the heat in his eyes, the closeness of his mouth.

Reality crashed around me when he released me and stepped back, pleased with himself he could still effect me. "Go back to your room and pack a bag, you will be staying her tonight. I'll come get you before dinner," he said leading a still baffled me to the door. I just about had to bite my tongue to keep from asking, "so I am going with you?" which I still wasn't sure what answer I would get or even how I really felt about him still having me.

I did as he said, happy to be able to breathe air that wasn't his. The moment I got to my room I headed for the shower, sitting under the warm spray for hours. I honestly don't know how long I sat there, enough that my fingertips had pruned and it had turned from late in the afternoon to nearing dark. Turning off the now cold water I dried myself off and got dressed, packing a bag as I went.

There wasn't a knock, or a jiggle of the door handle - those would have alerted me that someone other than John was outside of my door. No, I was given no warning. All of a sudden the door was kicked in, and no matter how fast I moved it would never have been enough - the same man who'd questioned me about John had been given leave to take me by force, and he was only too happy oblige. And so I had done no more than heard the door burst open and turned trying to run before the man was on me and a needle pricking my neck. And then everything went black.

...

I felt like my eyes were peeling open when I finally blinked myself into consciousness. It felt as though I had gone over 20 hours without rest and this was the first time I'd slept; that's how exhausted and weighed down I felt. It wasn't until my brain registared the dark room and the memory of the man knocking me out that I sat up. "John." His name fell from my tongue as though by instinct, that out of everyone in the world he was first person I called for. That wasn't lost on me, and I didn't care.

I looked up when I heard someone walk to me and kneel beside me, prepared to fight, or scream cause I really didn't think I could fight. "How are you feeling?" John asked brushing the hair out of my face.

Relief whooshed out of me and I laid back, realizing I was on the floor of the building John was hiding in. This is where he had been when he heard the sound of the door breaking in from the tracker, and thankfully for me it was only a few minutes walk from my hotel. And believe it or not John had come running the moment he'd heard it, he'd run hard enough he'd been breathless when he charged the man; a fight he'd easily won, taking the man's head in his hands and cracking his skull. And then he'd been left with me lying unconscious on the floor, which he'd carried me here; I of course didn't know any of this, but I thought you should.

"What time is it?"

"One thirty," he answered surprising me.

I had been unconscious for at least five hours. "He must've given me a sedative," I mumbled feeling John's hands still running through my hair, comforting my panicked heart. I would have died today; Admiral Marcus would've had me questioned, possibly tortured to ensure I was telling everything, and then I'd be killed.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly when he saw tears glisten in my eyes, the edge of irritation only slight in his voice; it was as gentle as he could be with an emotional woman, as a man who had no time for such trouble.

I raised my hand in a helpless gesture before letting it fall back to my stomach, noticing for the first time John had placed a blanket over me. "Lay down," I said moving the covers aside for him. His brow twitched before he complied, grabbing the covers and waiting until I settled over his chest before he wrapped them around me. Though my cheek was still bruised, though he'd made me afraid of him and what he was willing to do to get what he wanted, though I shouldn't trust him, I slowly began to relax until I could breathe easier. He'd saved my life; I had already given him what he wanted, he literally had no use for me anymore - he could have been done away with me and not have had anything to worry about cause he hadn't told me anything. And yet he'd saved me.

With my head on his chest and a hand curled beneath my chin I let myself remember why I had had such a hard time hating him - his fingers running through my hair making it very easy. I don't think I could have stopped falling in love with him no matter how I tried, I think he made that impossible for me. I just want you to understand why I did what I did next, if there is something to understand. Maybe it was the sedative, or maybe I was just crazy. Either I was simply laying with my head on his chest, and then it wasn't so simple anymore. I could hear his heart, feel him breathing, his hand warm and firm around my back - I was safe and warm because he'd saved me. Somehow that meant everything.

I don't think he knew what I was doing when I moved, when I sat up to stare down at his face seeing he wasn't sleeping. He looked up at me, brushing the hair out of my face, his fingers grazing the bruise he'd given me. I don't think my kissing him really surprised him, I think it just caught him off guard - and that may explain why he allowed himself a gentleness he never had before. I won't fool you, it was still fucking; it was just tender fucking. I think he could sense my hesitation, that I was thinking that this was wrong; he took the time to convince me it wasn't, that this was the most right thing I had ever done. He kissed every concern away, his mouth running along my jaw down my neck and over my chest; he moved slow, deliberate, pulling my legs further up his sides leaving me to cling to him as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me. I don't think I ever stood a chance. I think he made sure of that.

For the first time, when I laid my head back on his chest, he'd lost his breath as I always did. But his arms locked around me just as tight, keeping me secure against him as I slowly succumbed to sleep. I woke the next morning cold and alone, my body covered with the blanket and my clothes folded beside me. I don't know what woke me, maybe a part of me just knew something was about to happen that would change everything. I barely had my pants over my hips when the ground beneath my feet began to shake. The sound of screams and an explosion had me racing to the door, looking out to see the last of the archive fall in on itself.

Everything went numb, my body quivered though the ground had stopped shaking. There had been people in the archive, hundreds at least and who knew how many more in Starfleet's hidden operative beneath it. They were all dead. And I had helped.

"What did you do?" I asked the moment John returned, trying so hard to convince myself this wasn't all my fault - but I had given John everything he'd needed. "How could,"

"Stop talking Elenore," he said curtly, silencing me. He placed the black bag he'd been carrying on the table and opened it. I stared at the large grey cylindars, wondering what they were and what he was doing. I watched quietly as he fiddled with them, opening up part of them and doing some sort of engineering on it. There was another, that looked exactly like the others but no bigger than a can, and he spent at least ten minutes tinkering with it before he finished.

"Where do you plan on going?" I asked, realizing he needed to run because surely everyone would be after him now - which led me to the realization that I was staring at warping devices.

He looked up at me briefly before back down at a padd he pulled from the bag, and then he spent an ungodly amount of time configuring more equations and messing with the mathmatics of the devices. "You have a choice Elenore," he said standing, putting the transwarping devices back in the back and placing in my hand the smaller one. "You can stay here if you like, try your luck with playing the victim and see how far that gets you. In a few hours I will activate this to warp, if you wish to stay you should not be touching this," he said seriously, his hand on top of mine as he stared down at me. He gave me a final searching look before releasing me, slipping out of the door, and then he was gone.

I stared at the small transporter, wondering what he had done to it. I couldn't go with him, he'd just killed hundreds of people - had gotten me to help him kill hundreds of people without ever telling me what I was doing. He was a murderer, a monster. But how could I possibly stay? I was all of those things now, there was no victim card I could play. I couldn't stay, not after what I'd done.

Jim, I needed Jim. I rifled through the things on the desk, the small bag John had taken when he left my hotel room and found my communicator.

"Hello?"

My knees nearly gave out at the sound of his voice and it took everything I had not to cry at that very moment. "Hey Jim, it's Ellie."

"Hey," he said sounding startled - it had been weeks since we'd last spoken I'm sure it was a surprise to hear from me. I could hear the sound of music, of someone ordering some kind of drink, and I knew he was in a bar. "Look Ellie I can't," he stopped talking, probably to run his hand across his face at his own hopeless frustration. "They took the Enterprise from me," he said bitterly. "I can't talk right now Elle, I'll call you later," he said rushing through his words. I held a hand over my mouth to keep from crying, or telling him everything; I wanted so much for him to say he loved me, that everything would be okay. "Ellie?"

I knew I had been quiet for too long, I should have said something by now. And so I swallowed the knot in my throat. "Yeah, call me later," I said, hiding the sound of my tears because I knew he wouldn't hang up if he heard I was upset. The line went dead and all I heard was silence. I make no apologies for what I did next. I sat down, the transporter in my lap, and I cried.

...

Several hours later

Scotty went over the mathmatics of the transwarp beaming device and its recording, seeing exactly where John Harrison had gone and what formula he'd used to make the device get him there. There were a few small places where Scotty stumbled, the math not adding up correctly - John Harrison's numbers not matching as the equations as they should. Scotty found the receiving point of the device, read the numbers and the coordinates and discovered the station John had beamed too. It was from there the terrorist's math didn't quite make sense, the numbers were biggers, another equation had been factored in. But John Harrison had accessed another transporter and beamed to an empty ship, and that another transwarp device had been used and his mathmatics had been correct once more - and then once more the same strange equation that Scotty couldn't quite understand popped up on those recordings.

John Harrison was acting alone, and yet what Scotty thought he was seeing was the equation of another person being beamed with him; except that the devices were recorded to have only been told to transport one person. And so it wasn't possible, at least not from the last transport on the unmanned ship. The transport device there had used all of its energy to transport John Harrison, it had been completely burnt out. But it had been successful in sending John Harrison to his desired location. But if there was a second person, and Scotty wasn't wholly convinced there was, then the equation should have been factored into all of the mathmatics in the devices, not just the three places they were found. And so Scotty had put it in the back of his mind, almost forgetting about it when he figured out the last location. Because Scotty knew if there was a second person, with the lack of caution there had been with beaming them; they couldn't possibly have survived anyway.

So I realized while writing this, there are a lot of important factors that Ellie isn't really apart of - or that she knows. So I might litter little scenes thorughout my next chapter of something that happens when she's not exactly relavent, like I did at the end of this chapter with Scotty. Also, the fact that John spent days working out the equation to use for her to beam with him, is super important - cause it shows he cares about her, and actually somewhat whats her to come with him. So the Enterprise and all its crew comes in next chapter, and I'm so excited for it. Thanks for reading, hope you're all still enjoying.