As a sort of heads up, I'm not sure what kind of weapon John used when he fought the Klingons - I called it a gun, but not the kind with bullets cause they were outdated in Star Trek. So when you see the word gun think more laser type of weapon. And since no one reviewed last chapter, I only thank you for reading.

Breathe in, breathe out. I kept telling myself that as I sat quietly beside John, trying to keep my posture relaxed and not as stiff as my back wanted to be. I had to stay calm, I couldn't give away a single sign that I knew what was coming for us.

"Do you know a Captain Hikaru Sulu?" John asked watching my face closely for any involuntary twitch to let him know I was lying.

I shrugged and shook my head, not trusting my voice not to give away my secret. I didn't know what he'd do if he knew Jim was the one coming, if that would mean he'd use me as bait or if he'd use me as a ransom. I just didn't know, but my gut told me to pretend like I knew nothing - so I trusted it. He'd told me to trust my instinct, that I was smarter than I thought I was; maybe this was one of those moments.

His eyes were heavy on my face, still searching, not yet beliving. So I turned to him with furrowed brows as though I might ask what his problem was, like I had no idea why he was staring at me because I really didn't know Sulu. Believe it or not he bought it, he turned away; though his mind was occupied with other things, things like the torpedoes. "Just as well," he said to himself as he stood, offering me his hand and pulling me up with him.

It was a few seconds before I figured out why we were now standing, it few seconds before I heard why we were. In all the stillness and the quiet the soft sound of an engine buzzing was easily heard from a distance - it struck me as strange though, I had strained for some sound before it finally moved close enough for my ears to hear. But John heard it before I had, and he shouldn't have - no one's ears were that sensitive. Except maybe Mr. Spock's, and John sure as hell wasn't even half vulcan.

There was a smirk on John's face when I looked at him with confused and wary eyes, there was something strange about him - there always had been, only now I was really acknowledging it. "Stay low and keep hidden," he said quietly before walking away, leaving me to follow after him with the strange thoughts of who he really was. It was a while before we saw the ships, we had reached what looked to be some kind of base, and a Klingon vessel had captured and hailed a shuttle - one I knew to be Starfleet but it had no indication of where it came from.

"Idiots," he muttered as he crouched low behind an old building that had fallen apart years ago. Though he was talking about Jim, and most likely Spock since he was the first officer, John was right; the Klingons would not take kindly to humans, and even less if they found out they were with Starfleet. There was a very real chance that the people on the shuttle, my people, would be killed.

I was literally praying that Jim wouldn't decide to come out shooting, which he had to know would be a suicide mission - obviously better than torture, but I couldn't bear to see him die. It took everything I had not to beg John to do something, which could have made everything worse if he figured out it was Jim on the shuttle. Thankfully it was Uhura who stepped out, though I didn't want her dead it was better than Jim - and once John saw Jim's eyes he'd know he was looking at my cousin. I knelt behind John and watched as Uhura spoke with the Klingon, not understanding a word they said though I knew it hadn't gone well. Kind of hard to misinterupt it, he'd wrapped his hand around her jaw.

"Do something."

John looked at me startled, the idea of going in now - when the Klingons were so ready for a fight - was a very stupid idea; even though he had already decided he would. I was staring at him with pleading eyes, my hand clenching his jacket. He heaved a heavy sigh, his eyes hardening with understanding, before he pulled on his hood and covered his face. "Stay here until I call you," he ordered before grabbing his weapon and jumping from behind where we hid. It was a gun. The whole time since he'd blown up the archive he'd had a gun, two actually - and not once had he aimed one at me. Surpringly enough that was the thought that ran through my head as I sat on my knees and watched him shoot the Klingons, seeing Uhura had gotten herself free and back toward Jim and Spock. In the next two minutes or so, because that was how fast it all happened, my eyes were locked on John. I didn't look for Jim, or Spock or Uhura, I didn't look to make sure that the people I cared about were okay. For the first time since I met him, I was really seeing how inhuman he was.

He took down Klingon after Klingon, masses of them, their ship; he ran and dodged faster than an average person - faster than an above average person too. Not even Spock was as adept at fighting. He continued firing at them, taking down the other fighters who were flown in, taking down those ships as well. I didn't even realize I had gotten to my feet to get a better look at him. I didn't realize anything, nothing but him. He wasn't human. He couldn't be. And I was left wondering who the hell he was.

In the end it was John who took them all out, Jim Spock and Uhura crouched down as they watched him just like I did. He charged at the last remaining few, jumping an impossible height and distance before he killed them. It was when he didn't use the weapons, when he used his hands, how obvious it was that he wasn't merely human. I didn't realize the extent of the danger of the situation until John was aiming his gun at the three.

"Stand down," Spock ordered aiming a Klingon rifle at John. It was quieter now, only death and static could be heard; and so Spock's voice reached my ears clearly.

"How many torpedoes?" John demanded as he advanced, pulling his hood off and revealing his face. I knew he'd sooner hurt them than give them half the patience he gave me.

"Stand down!" Spock yelled.

I brought a hand to my mouth gasping as John shot the phaser out of Spock's hand; and yet I didn't yell for John to stop, I didn't move. The answer to why is simple; John had told me to stay here. The answer to why I listened to John, well, that's not so simple.

"The torpedoes, the weapons you threatened me with in your message, how many are there?" His voice was almost frantic, needing an answer; I had spent weeks listening to that voice, I heard the tremor beneath it where the others didn't. What I didn't know was why that was important. And I didn't hear Spock's answer, he'd spoken too softly for me to.

John's gun was aimed at Jim, and he was staring at him; only taking his eyes off him when Spock answered him, and then he looked back to Jim. Before he spoke, his mind was churning. The torpedoes meant something, something only he knew - save Admiral Marcus - but Jim's face was also going through his mind. Rather, Jim's eyes. They were so blue, so bright blue it almost hurt to stare at them too long. They were my eyes. It was then, John realized who he was staring at. I told you, the moment he saw Jim's eyes he'd know him. He knew it in a second, even though that was only one of hundreds of thoughts raging through his wonderfully dark and twisted mind. But I suppose I should continue.

"I surrender," John said throwing his weapon aside, not doing anything when Spock grabbed and aimed the rifle back at him. Even then I didn't move, not even when Jim hit him over and over again doing nothing more than tiring himself out because it didn't phase John in least - another show he couldn't be human, he should have been unconscious, a bloody pulp.

"Captain," Uhura screamed seeing he wouldn't stop, as well as that it wasn't doing anything.

Spock continued aiming his phaser at John. "Where is your accomplice?" he demanded, as emotionless as ever. There was that word again, it was the second time I'd been called John's accomplice; the problem is, I don't know if they were wrong.

John looked to Jim and gave a short breathy laugh when he realized that Jim Kirk didn't realize his cousin was standing a hundred feet away. "I release to you my captive," he told them, shocking them with the revelation that who they thought was helping him was actually being held against their will. "Consider it a peace offering," he said lowly, staring hard at Jim who looked back at him with furrowed brows and a fury barely leashed. "Elenore."

I forced myself from running down to them, from throwing myself into Jim's arms and crying. Instead I walked steadily toward them, seeing their wide eyes and shocked faces - even Spock, as minute as his emotion was. The closer I walked the more I could hear Jim was panting; he'd really laid it on him, and yet John didn't even seem bothered.

His eyes were on me. "You lied to me," he said when I stopped beside him. I took my eyes from Jim's to look at John; he was impressed, I'd had him fooled.

"The Sulu I know isn't a captain," I offered as a means of defense. It was a technicality if there ever was one. I didn't see the small smile curl on John's lips, I was already turning to Jim - who was now realizing that I had called him when John had me, and he'd told me he couldn't talk. His eyes were wide, pained, his breathing labored and his hand bloodied and already bruising. I knew he wanted to pull me into his arms, it was what I wanted; but not with John watching. And so Jim did no more than place a hand around my back and led me away from John. "Cuff him," he said quietly to Spock, leading me onto the shuttle.

John walked onto the shuttle, his hands cuffed in front of him, and Spock pushed him down into a seat and I made to sit beside him.

"Ellie."

I looked at Jim to see him staring at me like I had three heads. I was voluntarily sitting beside John, the man who was holding me against my will; how strange it must have been for the three of them, not knowing what had happened the month we'd been together. But I knew I'd made a mistake, it was written all over Jim's appalled face, and I quietly stood leaving John's warmth and sat beside Jim.

It was completely silent as we flew back to where the Enterprise was stationed, or rather where it had fallen out of warp - but I didn't know that. The only thing that could be heard was our breathing, and the soft humming of Spock's rifle as he sat across from John. "You okay?" Jim asked as softly as he could, glancing over at me to see how I was.

"Yeah," I breathed, wishing he could hold me, wanting to feel his arms around me so that I knew everything was okay; but then something in my head would shift and it was suddenly John's arms I wished to have surrounding me. Needless to say, I don't think I was okay. I think when Jim kissed me goodbye before I first went to London was the last time he ever saw me when I was okay. I felt his fingers brush against my hand, a soft touch to let me know he was there but I pulled away. He looked at me to see that I was trying not to cry and he turned away, letting me get myself under control - he knew me more than anyone else. He was one half of me. And so he didn't touch me again, because his touch made me break, and in the same silence as before we reached the Enterprise; something I had honestly never thought I would see again.

"Take her to sickbay," he told Uhura, who wrapped arm around my back and took me away before they unloaded John. I turned back though to see him, to find that his eyes were already on me; I don't think he wanted me to go. I didn't know how stand if it wasn't by his side, and I don't think he knew how to without me either. But he looked away before I did, because I wasn't the only thing he was thinking of - I wasn't the most important thing on the ship, I wasn't what he wanted most.

"Come on," Uhura said gently as she pulled me away, seeing where my gaze had gone. We weren't friends, we were too different; she was emotion, and I ran from my feelings; we didn't click. But in that moment, I was really glad she was there. Uhura tried talking to me, at least I think she did, but I could barely hear her over the sound of my own thoughts - there were too many, I was overwhelmed with the need to know who John was and how he could do any of what he could. I played over and over all the humanoid species I knew of that were like John, with his strength, his stamina, his brilliance - and I was just starting to realize how brilliant he was. Eventually she stopped trying to get me to talk, I wasn't exactly cooporating, and instead we walked quietly until we reached the sickbay. It wasn't even a conscious thought on how to get there, that's how well I knew this part of the ship. This was my station, this was my life - not with John.

But even still I wasn't listening, because I was now dealing with the problem that I wanted John - against all odds I really just wanted to stand next to him. And so I still wasn't listening when we entered the sickbay, I was just walking in a numb haze.

"Dr. McCoy," Uhura called getting his attention.

Bones' brows were knitted almost comically he was so confused at my standing there, it didn't help that I was in street clothes instead of a uniform. "You get the guy that was helping him?" he asked. "And what the hell is she doing here?" I don't want you to think he was being rude, that's just him - but in all honesty I should be in London working at the hospital. I shouldn't be on the ship, I shouldn't be in jeans with a bruise still on my face. In all honesty, I think he was worried for me; and Bones had never been a man comfortable with his feelings.

Uhura pointed to me making his eyes widen. "His captive," she said.

In at least two years it was the first time he'd looked at me and wasn't glaring. He was shocked, upset, blamed himself cause that was just the kind of person he was. And in all honesty, he should blame himself. If he hadn't been such an ass that I couldn't stand working with him I wouldn't have gone to London, which meant nothing else that happened would have taken place; in a way, it really was his fault. But he was scared cause he knew I'd die, I would have understood if anyone had actually told me; but I never knew.

"I'll get her checked out, thanks," Bones said taking my arm before sitting me on the examination table. Even as he looked at the readings to see if I was in full health he kept stealing glances at me. "You okay?" he asked gently, standing beside the table and looking down at me.

His eyes were so soft, so caring and concerned; only a year or two before Bones and I had talked everyday, touched, had sex. Simple things for two people falling in love. And then suddenly his eyes had hardened, his voice was cold, and he didn't touch me anymore - as though it hurt. I didn't realize that it did hurt him, cause he hadn't meant to fall for me, and now he knew I was supposed to die. I hadn't meant to fall for him either, and it hurt when he'd pulled away.

I didn't know if I was in love with him anymore, staring up at him; I really didn't know. He smiled when I brought my hand to his face, and it was a comfort to feel the warmth of his hand on top of mine. Our reverie was broken when his comminucator beeped, only I was the one to pull away first; I turned away, because my mind had decided to think of John again and I didn't want Bones to see it in my eyes. His voice was muffled as he turned and talked to Jim, coming back after barely a minute and scanning my face quickly. "Nurse, finish scanning her," he said before turning to me. "I'll be back in a minute," he said softly, squeezing my shoulder before he left. I was safe, John was now a prisoner and couldn't do anything to me. And yet, somehow that didn't make me happy.