The moment the two guards left John moved as close to me as he could behind the glass, staring down at me as though he thought something had happened - and now that he knew nothing had he had several other things on his mind and I was only one of them.

I had my own questions, my own wants and needs from him - but the thing that I needed most, and the thing I hated most, was that I just needed to be near him; because now that I was only inches from him my body calmed and for the first time I stepped on the ship I relaxed. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my arms crossed, my hip leaning against the glass, my eyes locked on his.

"Tell you what, Elenore?" he asked, his voice edged with irritation when there was only so much time before someone came back and found the door locked.

Somehow I didn't care. Jim didn't trust me, Bones didn't know how to handle me, I didn't even know who I was anymore; but with his eyes heavy on my face, I thought maybe he was the only one who did know me. "This is for you family, all of it," I said watching his face become of mask of perfect disbelief - only I knew better. He was right, I was a mistake, because now I knew him. The weeks we spent together, the small little bits of information he gave me were enough for me to know his family was everything to him. "Going against Starfleet, killing innocent people, taking me, it was always for them," I said ticking off the things he'd done, watching his face lose emotion as he continued to watch me. But he said nothing, and so I continued. "How are they in the torpedoes?"

His brows rose in a moment of surprise, the corners of his mouth curling. "Very clever," he said impressed, his hands itching to reach for me - I could see it in his eyes, in the way his hands curled. These were the moments he would back me against a wall, ask me questions make me answer, and then he'd fuck me; it's what we did, what we both wanted, what we couldn't have nor would would we again.

But my mind was already moving past that, pieces of a puzzle falling into place. "Did you put them there?" I asked, my thoughts shifting to somewhere else before he could answer. "Were you in a torpedo too? Did Admiral Marcus release you?"

He stood in front of me watching as thoughts flicked across my eyes, staring hard at me as though he wanted me behind the glass with him; to touch, to have. Because even he knew I was his, that I was his to have. And I was. I wasn't in my right mind, I hadn't been for days maybe even weeks; he made me love him, trust him. I was devoted to him. I'd sold my soul to him. How could I possibly walk away now.

"How are they in the torpedoes?" I asked, needing an answer from him - needing to know that it was okay I was so hopelessly in love with him.

"Elenore," he said, the refusal thick in his voice as he shook his head.

But I wouldn't back down, I couldn't anymore. "How, John?" I asked staring up at him desperately. He only looked back at him, refusal shining bright in his eyes. "John," I begged, hearing my voice crack and not caring enough to hate myself for it.

His eyes changed then, something that looked almost like love - like understanding and caring, and sympathy all mixed into one look. "We were cryogenically frozen," was his answer, but he knew it was everything I need. Now all he had to do was stand and watch as it unravelled in my mind.

It confused me at first, why on earth would anyone go through the trouble of freezing 73 people. Cryogenics were used to keep an organism frozen in time, there was no reason they would use that method unless they wanted to preserve them for years and years. "What was the year when you were frozen?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

His lips curled in a soft smile, seeing that I was slowly realizing who and what he was. "If I told you then it would give it away," was all he said before closing his mouth and watching me.

Though he didn't need to say anything, my mind was moving a mile a minute and snippets of old newspapers we'd been shown in a class flashed through my mind - reports of a war, of our imminent loss and then sudden victory. It was history, the past, three hundred years ago. He was strong, he'd made the bathroom door shake under the blow of his hand where it shouldn't have - he had unbelievable stamina, skill in fighting, quick precise movements and reflexes that would put a Vulcan to shame. All of that, plus a war that was waged three hundred years before, I knew what he was. And there was a small tingle in the back of my mind that I knew who he was too.

"Elenore." He spoke my name softly, intimately; his voice low and grumbling as it was after we'd slept together. I wondered then if this was the voice saved specifically for me - the one that held every ounce of caring he was capable of, and he was directing it all at me. He saw everything he needed to in my eyes, the shock the unbelief. If what I was taught in school about augments and the war that had taken place, then he was the bad guy. I should hate him for what he did, be terrified of him for what he could do. But he was watching me closely, waiting for me to say something; waiting for me to do something that proved to him I understood, that I cared. I think he needed that, to know that there was nothing he could throw at me to change how I felt. But I'm only guessing, and I only guess because of the way his eyes stared into mine; needing something.

He had his answer when I said nothing, when I barely looked at him as I moved the irising device in front of him and opened it, sliding my right arm through the device and holding out my wrist to him. He looked down at the tracker, his eyes hardening with the realization that I wanted nothing to do with him now that I knew what and who he was. He pressed his thumb to the green circle, the chip reading his fingerprint, and I felt the quick sharp pain of the needle retracting; and then it fell to the floor.

That was it, my final ties to him; he was a prisoner aboard my cousin's ship, the tracker was off, there was no tangible hold he had over me. And yet, when he pulled away, I held on to his hand. His face was startled, confused, when he saw the need in my eyes - the desperation for his touch. He pulled my arm through the device, forcing me against the glass, pulling me as close as he could without tearing my arm off.

I clenched his shirt in my fist, his hand over mine pressing it against his chest, his other arm a wrought iron trap around my arm; it hurt, the metal of the device was digging into my skin, his hand was holding me too tight and my arm was going numb. And I never wanted him to let go. I felt like I would fall apart if he did. His breaths came in uneven pants, his eyes blazing as he gazed into my own, his hand tightening even more around my arm as though he wanted to pull me through so he could hold me; I would have gladly let him.

I don't remember hearing the guards come back and finding the door locked, hearing them yell and bang on the door; don't remember Jim yelling at me either. I was staring at John, lost in a deafening blinding haze, and then I was being pulling away. I was completely silent as Jim yanked me away from John, dragging me out of the room as I tried to look back. He didn't say anything as he pulled me, and his silence was more telling than his words ever could be; he was infuriated, beyond rage at what I'd done and how obviously attatched to John I'd become. But more than any of that, he was hurt, betrayed; and afraid that I wasn't his hostage but was in fact his accomplice. I saw it all in his eyes when he held me in front of him, staring hard at me.

He was desperate, terrified of what I'd done. "Ellie?" he asked, waiting for me to deny it; begging, pleading for me to. He shook me when I didn't, his hands clenching around my arms - I think he may have hit me if his mind wasn't on more than just me; but he'd seen there was person in the torpedo, and though I was important to him I wasn't the most important thing at the moment.

"Captain," Spock said firmly, gently taking me out of Jim's grasp.

I waited for Jim to say something, to hit me or do anything; something other than stare at as though he didn't recognize me. He didn't though. He stepped back and reached for his communicator. "Ellie's coming back to sick bay, she'll be there in five minutes. If she tries to see John Harrison again sedate her and cuff her to a bed," he said not giving Bones a chance to respond before he'd already hung up. He brushed past me, his anger at John only fuelled even more, and opened the door to the observation room before stalking to John's cell.

Spock nudged me forward, his dark eyes searching before he turned and left me too. There was nothing left for me to do but walk back to sick bay, my heart pleading with my head to go back to John. Bones' eyes were confused when I walked into the medical wing, they were sad; not angry like they might have been another day. Looking at him, at a man I might have loved, staring at my reflection in his eyes and hating the person I saw; my chest heaved as I lost the ability to breathe. And I was left gasping, seeing Bones' shocked eyes before he pulled me into his arms, broken sobs escaping from me. And then I started crying.

Fuzzball: thank you so much for reviewing, I'm really glad to hear you're liking it. I hope that it was a little easier to see how John feels about her and how she effects him - I tried to showcase that a little during their moment.

Marianamr: thank you, I really do appreciate that you take the time to review no matter how late. So thank you again.