For the First Time

Summary: A wide variety of firsts for Natasha Romanoff. Clintasha.

II – First Time She Was Jealous

May 2000

First time Natasha felt true jealousy, it was when Mockingbird stopped by SHIELD for a visit in between missions. The woman was a runaway model. Long legs, perfectly shaped body, long straight blonde hair with stunning baby blue eyes and full red lips. Bobbi Morse, Clint's ex-girlfriend and on and off fuck buddy.

It would be fine. If that damn Pandora Box hadn't been open in Belgium. So many times Bobbi stopped by, and both her and Clint had a little fun, Natasha never made a comment about it or even felt anything. No, that's a lie, Natasha hated the blonde from head to toe and would stew on her hate for as long as Bobbi's stay would last. But now…after that amazing kiss that Clint and Natasha shared, and her feelings started to break the walls she had…Natasha hated the blonde even more and now with more passion than ever.

"Natasha!"

The coffee mug fell to the floor and shattered. Natasha turned around with a murderous look to find Camilla Bennett-Coulson, Phil's wife and SHIELD's psychologist.

"Oh, it's you," Natasha muttered.

"I was afraid if I didn't say anything, Agent Morse would go up in flames with the look you were giving her," Camilla calmly pointed out.

Natasha just huffed and looked behind her shoulder. Bobbi was throwing her head back, laughing at something Clint had said and the idiot had too, a big grin on his face.

"I need to clean this up," Natasha told Camilla but the psychologist was having none of it.

"No, no, you are coming with me!"

"On which terms?" Natasha growled.

"One, we need to talk. Two, you need to let it all out before you take it out on some poor recruit and three…don't make me get Phil!"

Knowing a lost battle when she saw one, Natasha's shoulders dropped and she followed Camilla to her office. She sat down at the blue cushioned couch and sulked. Camilla chuckled.

"Finally, human emotions from the Black Widow," she said sitting down, in front of Natasha.

"Don't start, Camilla," Natasha warned.

"Let's talk like friends, that we are, Natasha," Camilla said. "What's going on? Bobbi always comes and goes and you never had that murderous look on your face. We all know you despise Mockingbird, but this just hit a new level."

"I don't want to talk about this," Natasha sighed.

"Trust me. Whatever you say between these four walls, stays here," Camilla coaxed.

"You remember the Belgium mission?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"Clint and I…we kissed…a lot…" Natasha played with her fingers. "I've opened the dreaded Pandora's Box that is my feelings for Clint and now, I can't seem to fully close her."

"Why would you want to close it?"

"Because of Fury. You know he doesn't let partners have romantic relationships," Natasha observed.

"Oh, yes, I've saw many cases of partnerships that were broken due to the emotional ties," Camilla nodded. "I understand why you want to close it."

"Clint…our partnership…this is everything I have, Camilla, and I can't lose it because I didn't keep my emotions in check," Natasha confessed.

"I know. Seeing him with Bobbi, after the incident, made you mad?"

"More jealous than mad. Jealous because that blonde bitch is all over him like an octopus and I have to keep my distance because Director Fury doesn't like romance," Natasha huffed again, amusing Camilla.

"It's not that he doesn't like romance. He's married and a father, you know that," Camilla started. "So many relationships between partners ended up badly. Fury has seen it all. I have seen it all. They think they love each other so much. They think they can beat everyone that they are unstoppable and then…one single fight, one bad word, one awful argument, ends up tragically. Fury doesn't want to lose any more people because of bad established relationships."

"Stupid thing is I understand," Natasha said.

"I don't know, things with you and Clint can be different," Camilla shrugged. "But you are both still young and I agree with you when the first thing you need to treasure, it's the partnership."

Natasha nodded. "Thanks, Camilla, I'm going to hit the gym and blow of some steam!"

"Anytime, Natasha," Camilla smiled and Natasha left the office.

Camilla knew that this was going to happen and Phil owed her a hundred bucks. It was a matter of time before their attraction to each other became unbearable at least. But it worried her that they were still young. Yes, they were master assassins and spies, but they also were a nineteen year old woman and a twenty three year old man. So many things can still happen and Camilla knows that neither will survive without this partnership. If they do want to be together, they have a long way to go, yet.

Natasha went on a recon mission the next day. Alone. Phil asked her if she needed Clint to join her and she said that she could handle the recon herself. Of course, she knew Clint was going to be yelling at her ears when he found out, but for the moment, he was very busy with Ms. Morse.

The recon lasted three days – for her. A regular agent would take months, but this was the Black Widow we are talking about. She's all work and no play. After leaving her report with Coulson, she went down to the firing range. According to Phil, Bobbi was long gone and Clint wasn't happy to have been left behind by his partner.

Finishing the ammo on her gun, she turned around to face Clint that had been standing there since she arrived.

"Thanks for letting me know about the mission, partner," he said, very calmly.

"It was simple recon," Natasha shrugged reloading the gun. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me?"

"Yes, you and Bobbi, didn't want to break you two apart knowing that she would leave soon," Natasha explained with her brilliant poker face.

Clint glared at her. "To break two people apart, they have to be together first. Bobbi and I…we aren't together, for a very long time now. We do, however, have harmless fun. You never had a problem with that before."

"Who says I have one now?"

Before he answered, Natasha unload all her ammo again. Clint just stood there, arms crossed over his chest.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," he said after she finished her ammo and there was silence again.

She turned to him, so fast, he took one step back. "Jealous of your plastic Barbie? Please, I'm much more of a woman than that doll!"

And she left, stomping her foot, leaving Clint with a big grin behind. Green was not the Widow's color. If only she would gave herself to her desires, they could be together. But SHIELD policy…ugh, Clint just wanted to scream.