PLEASE READ
I've decided something. After this author's note, there will be no more unless something comes up. From now on, Little Red is the one who will be responding to your reviews and such. So, please enjoy! Any complaints on the story? Either shoot me a PM and get a nice response, or review it and get something sassy from Little Red. Hey, she's gotta stay in character. ;) So remember, when you review, from this point out, you're talking to Little Red. Not me.
Thanks sooo much for the reviews and stuff, guys! Sorry that I suck at humor – for the most part.
Suggestions that are given may not take place immediately, but they probably will at some point. I apologize if I'm disappointing people in this story…
I updated so quickly because I got bored working on my other stories and thought, "Let's Blast some people!"
(:Mizune
Little Red's Blast 'Em Blog
Damn. You have no idea what kind of hell I had to go through right after my first blog post! The cyber-stalker Neru found it, like, immediately, and the WHOLE Vocaloid household started going INSANE. They called a meeting for all of us – and I mean ALL of us: Vocaloids, UTAUloids, fanmades, derivatives, utaites, EVERYONE! It was hysterical; you really should've seen it.
Chaos.
Utter chaos.
Kiyoteru suggested that Neru trace the blog back to the computer that started it, but…I'M GOOD WITH COMPUTERS, TOO! In your face, Neru! You think you know it all, but really, you don't. Heh. They'll never be able to get to me. I'm right here, forever and always, to spill the deepest, darkest secrets of the Vocaloids around me. No matter how often they gather us in a single room and scream at us in an attempt to find the culprit…I won't be found. ;D
I suppose to begin, I should tell you how that meeting went. I was just chillin' in my room when Meiko starts screeching like the drunkard she is, telling everyone to "get their sorry asses in the living room." Of course, most of us scrambled down there as fast as we could, because it's not very smart to disobey Meiko – especially not when she's drunk.
And once everyone had gathered, Neru took the liberty to read my blog post out loud for all of them to hear! I felt so honored! Everyone totally agreed with me on saying that Tako Luka tried to eat someone's face off every day, because just last week, that adorable pink octopus latched herself onto Miku's face and wouldn't let go. Ahhh…if only I had pictures.
When they got to the part about Len and his squeaky toy, oh, that blond shota was so embarrassed. His face must've been the color of Meiko's outfit. And everyone started poking fun at him about that. Oh, he'll never hear the end of it.
So Kiyoteru told Neru to trace it, and that blonde whore is just all, "Oh, yea! I can trace it, no trouble at all! Because I'm 'Little Miss Perfect'; let me give you another reason to think so!" Guess what? She did her little tracing magic, and what popped up on her phone screen? "LOCATION NOT FOUND." Oh, and she got a virus. Heh…now she has to get a new phone.
Poor Neru…
NOT!
Anyways, I actually got some comments on this! Hooray for me, LilRed! Let's take a brief moment and thank all of these people who were kind enough to do so….
Now, as the first person (Warrichan) suggested, I decided to do a little Gumi-stalking. What does everyone know about her as of now? She's got green hair and freak goggles, and for some reason the first thing that comes to mind when I see her in her usual outfit is Sailor Moon. I don't know what it is…And she has a strange obsession with carrots. Like Miku with leeks, or Kuroneko with Tapioca.
So, like I said, I decided to watch her a little bit more closely. Get this. She's a totally normal girl, compared to the rest of us! (Well, the rest of them…) I mean, minus her…carrot fetish and the fact that she's sexually attracted to her genderbend. Don't know if that would count as incest or…some other thing that I'm uncomfortable saying? Over three days of observation, I found that Gumi wakes up at precisely 8:13 every morning, and turns in for bed around 10:30, except on weekends, which I just know from experience that she spends with a group of Vocaloid girls to watch movies all night or something.
BUT THEN last night, I was about to disable the camera I had mounted in the hallway to get a clear view of her bedroom door when I saw…
KAITO!
Seriously, I was sitting at my computer and that blue-haired freak just comes into the shot. To be honest, I figured he'd be going to Miku – he is dating her, after all. But I was wrong. He walked up to Gumi's room and walked in. HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOCK! He just waltzed in like he owned the place! Well, when he opened the door, this big, naughty smile spread on his face, like Len when he filmed Spice! And he just walked in! Like she was expecting him!
I watched my cameras, and he stayed in that room with her for exactly two hours and nineteen minutes. What were they doing in there? That's my only question. My camera doesn't really have sound, so I couldn't hear if they were banging each other. They probably were, though. Then…they could've been quiet. He could've always smothered her with a pillow or hell, he could've pinned her down.
Seriously, do you guys know how horny the boys in this place are? Even the ones you think are innocent…hell, they're less innocent than Gakupo! And we all know that to him, sex is sex, whether it's with Len or Luka.
Just kidding; I don't know if he gets down with Len, but I have seen the yaoi pictures he looks at. *shudders* Betcha Len will never look at Gakupo the same way now.
So yea, nothing too interesting with that Gumi thing. But I can promise you that I'll keep tabs on her for a little while longer. Just to see if Kaito is, in fact, having an affair on his girlfriend.
Oh wait. Aren't affairs supposed to be secret?
Hmm….well, now the WHOLE WORLD knows that you guys are cheating! Ohohoho, get out of this one, bakas!
And Rosie-Sama wanted me to do some Mikuo stalking. Phone stalking, to be exact. So what did I do? I put a bug on his phone.
Seriously, he's terrified of insects. It was hysterical; he was, like, screaming like a twelve-year-old girl throwing a temper tantrum. He threw his phone down and started begging Rin to kill it. So she did.
With a roadroller.
IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY, KAGAMINE!? IT WAS A FREAKING ANT! NOT GODZILLA!
Hell, she could've killed all of Tokyo with that stupid roadroller thing of hers. I'm surprised she didn't end up killing Mikuo himself.
Oh, right. I was talking about Mikuo. Sorry; I got a little carried away with my rant on Rin and her Yandere attitude. I'm pretty sure she fakes it to make people pay attention to her. She's almost as bad as Miku.
Anyway, Mikuo. I started recording his phone conversations. Most of which he makes to Miku and they talk about leeks or something like that. But he made a call to Rinto once.
(The genderbends are pretty tight-knit friends.)
Rinto started asking him about his relationships, but Mikuo said there was one girl he really liked but couldn't see because she's not a Vocaloid. ARE YOU READING THIS, NERU!? HE'S CHEATING ON YOU! Can't say I blame him…
What?
Mikuo was all, "She's so funny! And so random! And I love her to death because she throws me leeks and her sarcasm is so attractive and the way she laughs is like heaven and-"
And Rinto was all like, "Mikuo, you can't breed with people outside of the Vocaloid mansion."
And Mikuo was all, "Breed? I'm not a dog!"
And then Rinto goes, "Well, you said she throws you leeks. Like, fetch?"
So Mikuo gets all defensive like, "I'M NOT A DOG, DAMMIT!"
And they hung up because someone started pounding on Rinto's door wanting to talk to him. It was probably Lenka. But I'm not gonna 'Blast' her, because she's really sweet. I like her.
Not as a girlfriend, though. I'm totally, one-hundred percent straight. In fact, there's this one guy –
Oh, no! Lil Red's spilling a little bit too much information about herself.
So, Rosie-Sama, there's your secret info on Mikuo. By the way, you shouldn't know who I am, so I'm really glad you can't tell;) The link in your review didn't work. I could only see the www. .com part. Maybe separate the link with little ~ or spaces or something?
Next up! Shadowthorn2013 told me to spy on one of my favorite guys. I'm a sucker for shotas, too! They're pretty sexy, aren't they? I mean, adorable. Adorable, aren't they? Heh…I mean, they've all got things that make them so lovable! Like Oliver with those bandages or Len with his…everything.
And about Piko.
Trust me, Shadow, I don't have to do any extra spying to know this embarrassing stuff about him. (Yes, I spy on him regularly. He's a pretty interesting guy.)
Just the other day I was sitting in the kitchen. (We were having this pretty sweet party for Miku, since her newest single sky-rocketed into popularity.) So as I said, I was in the kitchen, right? Just chilling at the bar, drinking my water, and then Piko walks in. You know, in a gang. A SHOTA gang. Len on one side, Oliver on the other. And let me tell you, Len and Oliver were as freaking attractive as ever, swinging their arms back and forth while having these totally-sexy smirks on their faces. Now, I'm not saying Piko wasn't pulling off the tough guy look.
Okay, I'm saying that.
Well, he could've pulled it off, had he not tripped over his USB cord. SERIOUSLY! The guy's had that thing coming out of his ass for how many years, and he finds a way to trip over it! It's like him walking into doors that are so PLAINLY in front of his face!
Not only did Piko trip, but he also managed to fall face first into the bowl of red punch sitting on the counter. So he collapses onto the ground in a puddle of red that stained his hair, and the bowl shatters on the ground. Is that not hysterical? No? Maybe it's only funny to people who were there.
I dunno. I know that sometimes we do really stupid things, and other times, we do, but we don't mean to. You follow me?
More about Piko: I snuck into his room a couple of nights ago to get some dirt on him….
You know, most three-year-olds sleep in footsies with dinosaurs on them.
Not very many sixteen-year-old boys sleep in footsies with little USBs on them.
Well, I gotta go. It's getting kinda late, and I'm tired of typing all of this stuff. But I'll be sure to continue spying on Gumi and Piko and Kaito and Mikuo for ya guys. ;) I'm sure there will be some pretty interesting stuff going down now that I've told all of this.
~LilRed
13 comments
SexyShota: Why the hell do you insist on telling people about my squeaky toy?
RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) You could've easily denied that, you moron. But now that you've left a comment, the whole world can see that it's the truth. Can't say that I'm sorry for you, though.;D
SexyShota: (reply to RinnyRinRin) Bitch.
CellphoneWiz: I DO NOT THINK I'M LITTLE MISS PERFECT! COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! AND MIKUO WOULDN'T CHEAT ON ME WITH SOME CHICK WHO'S NOT A VOCALOID! LOL, YOU'RE DEAD, LITTLE RED BITCH!
Leekprincessmiku: Kaito's cheating on me? Oh, this should be fun. *loads gun*
SexyShota: (reply to SexyShota) Oh, by the way. I think Little Red is Rin.
RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) DO I LOOK LITTLE AND RED TO YOU?
CellphoneWiz: (reply to RinnyRinRin) Well, you are little.
RinnyRinRin: (reply to CellphoneWiz) What motive would I have for telling the world about you guys? And why the hell would I call myself Little Red?
LilRed: (in reply to RinnyRinRin) You sang about little red riding hood.
Jusdrinkinsumsake: (reply to LilRed) I think it is Rin. LilRed's replying to make it look like it's not.
RinnyRinRin: (in reply to Jusdrinkinsumsake) IT'S NOT ME!
MeNmyUSB: WHYYYYYY?D: