Little Red's Blast 'Em Blog
Haaaa!X3 Everyone just made this assumption that I was Rin, simply because that little blonde wanna-be sang Little Red Riding Hood. Ahh, that short freak girl WISHES she was as cool as me. But she's not. And she never will be. MUAHAHAH! My evil laugh is so sexy!
So after they ASSUMED it was Rin, they decided to go 'make her pay.' And next thing I know, the whole house is just filled with these blood-curdling screams. Why? Meiko, Len, Neru, Miku, Kaito (oh…ESPECIALLY Kaito, after revealing his secret relationship with Gumi), Mikuo, Oliver, even PIKO! (Since when does THAT little shota get violent?) They ALL went up to Rin's room and just started beating the living crap out of her.
Okay, not literally, I suppose. They took her laptop and started busting it to pieces trying to find out what she was using to hide her location – and to prevent her from making any more updates. And Len and Meiko attacked her without thinking twice. When she left the room, her hair was a complete mess – looked like a couple of handfuls had been pulled out - and she had this bruise on her cheek. She was panicking and crying – THAT'S RIGHT! THE GREAT RINNY WAS CRYING! – and insisting that it wasn't her over and over and over again. And aw, I almost felt sorry for the poor girl.
ALMOST.
This is what happens when those other idiots try to guess me.
NYA BITCHES! LIL RED IS NOT A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!
So I was given a whole FUZZLOAD of people to spy on and stuff – and I'll tell you, even though I'm a sheer freaking GENIUS at this stuff, it's no easy task. Everyone's all 'spy on Mikuo! Spy on Teto! Spy on Rinto! Spy on blah blah blah…!' Yea, not that I have a problem with it…it's just…physically exhausting. I mean, I know I complained about being bored and stuff, but damn, I have somewhat of a life. I hang out with friends every once and a while, and we tend to do stuff together – and hell yes, my innocent personality makes NO ONE think it's ME! Muahah! Face it! EVERYONE acts different in private than in public! My actions are JUSTIFIED!
…I'm rambling like an evil scientist now, aren't I? *clears throat* Please excuse me; the thought of people being tortured because of wrong accusations of my personality makes me laugh.
Anyways, I think our favorite little Mikuo-lover is up first! Rosie-chan, you are loved by both myself and Mizune – who has no power in this blog because she's letting ME take the lead MUAHAHA! She is not to be blamed for any hateful things I may or may not say…because…I'm ME, not Mizune. Mizune's sweet, and I like to BASH PEOPLE! (Of course, I won't be bashing my lovely reviewers.)
Rosie-chan, Mikuo is just your little puppy, isn't he? I should buy him a collar for his birthday – completely with tags and everything. So maybe if Rinto sees it, he'll be all, "Oh, Mikuo's a lost dog; let's mail him back to England to his owner!" And of course, Mikuo can't protest because of this extra-special shock feature! Just press a little button, and that cute little teal-haired boy gets a pretty rough zap that he won't be forgetting anytime soon…
Oh my God, we must invent this product, Rosie-chan. I forget birthdays all the time. When is Mikuo's? I think I've gotta give this to him, as a gift to both of you. You for reviewing, and him for…well, being a jerk.
Yup, that sounds about right.
(By the way, of course I ignored your guess. I can't tell you whether or not you're right, silly! Mizune can, through PM, but if I spoil it here, then all the others will know who I am, and my cover will be blown….and they'll not only destroy me, but also my awesome blog. Depressing, isn't it?)
Anyways, thanks for your review~! I'll be moving on to others now, if you don't mind. And maybe when requests die down, I can just kind of rant about the lives of random Vocaloids….I dunno.
NEXT: We have BattyCrash! Thank you, thank you. *bows* I greatly appreciate your support; like, you have no idea!
And you'd like me to spy on that little red demon Teto, eh? You're heart's desire is my command! (But only in the art of stalking. I'm no genie.)
So.
Teto Kasane.
Kasane Teto.
Teto.
The reddish-pink haired FREAK! I mean seriously, I know some of these guys can make their hair get so dang weird, but what's with her hairstyle? That….must take LOTS of hairspray. She'll put a whole right through the damn ozone layer if she keeps trying to look pretty. And by the way, Teto, your drills DO NOT make you look good. You look like an idiot. Almost as much of an idiot as Oliver with that stupid Captain's hat he wears that he think makes him look cool.
I mean, come on. As adorable and sweet as he can be, that Captain No Shoes will not look better by putting on a hat and carrying around a little finch. A REAL SAILOR would have a parrot.
Wait, that's a pirate.
Oliver could pull that off, too. I mean, a missing eye and no shoes. It already fits.
Ahh…I really need to work on my blog-pacing, guys. I ramble too much for this. Okay, okay. I have an idea. I'll respond to you all first and THEN go on with the stalking requests. Yes, yes? Sounds good? Great, I'm doing it anyway.
((Ack, Lil Red, you sad, pathetic excuse for a blogger! $ %# I need to find the reviews to reply to!))
Okay, since I've already replied to BattyCrash and Rosie-Chan, I'll be replying to the others.
Responses to my amazing Lil Red Supporters
Ninjagoforever1: Apparently Rin's the kind of girl who overreacts about bugs, my friend. She really needs to invest in a brain. I appreciate your support! I'll definitely give you some insight on Rin's pathetic existence. (Excuse my evilness…)
ZameZelder: It's a blog, my friend. Of course I can stalk that idiot Rinto for ya! He's a pretty great guy, but I'm sure even he has his fails. (Oh, I'll tell you more about that later.) Ooooh, even though you don't know who I am to send me a bunch of ********, I know that it's the thought that counts!
CandyFiend: I know! Piko is like my little snow-baby! Oh yes, I'll spy on Teto for you….(In case you can't tell, I'm smiling like an evil scientist right now. Man, I really need to get myself a lab coat and some glasses. I should steal the glasses from Kiyoteru. His are pretty stylish.)
TeamKagamine: Thanks! Oh, Len? Well he's pretty easy to read. He cheats on Rin with everybody. Ask anyone. You've seen Spice, right? …Yea, he's just as uncontrollable in real life as he was in that video. (I can practically HEAR Rin in the other room smacking him right now.)
CaramellYandere: Mizune thanks you, but you're talking to me. *dark laugh* As I told Rosie-chan, Mizune will answer your guesses in a PM – if you come to her first. Tei, huh? That demon? Well…I'm pretty scared of her myself. I'm so not sure what I can say on the matter; when she finds out who I am – I mean, IF she finds out – I'LL BE AS GOOD AS DEAD! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
NeaLureKamui: Well, haaaaaayooo~ Great to meet you! Luki? Sure thing. He's usually out with the other genderbend boys, so I bugged his jacket. Huehuehuehue…I can't wait to let you know of THAT conversation.
PokeCrafter: Oliver IS quite the sexy beast, I agree with you there. I'll give you an extra special segment with Oliver, then.
Alright guys, it has been decided. I've officially figured out how I want to do my blog style from this point on: . See that little dot? That's my point…I'd go back and fix the rest of this, but unfortunately, I'm pretty lazy.
Kasane Teto.
(I'd have never guessed.)
You all know Teto.
She has an unhealthy obsession with that French bread stuff.
(Though I can understand, because I've tried it, and it's pretty tasty.)
She's in a relationship with Ted.
They act lovey dovey together all the time.
She wears her hair in those big, totally fake drills.
BUT SHE'S A GREAT BIG FAKE.
With a little bit of record-browsing, I've managed to discover that she is actually a 31 year old TRAP. The girl looks 16 and acts 16 but she's OLD. No one would've ever guessed.
I always thought Ted looked pretty...old…for his age, but I'm willing to bet that he's the same as she. A 31-year-old FAKE. Actually, he might be the kind to tell you the truth if you were to ask, but Teto? Nope.
Sorry that this wasn't more juicy. I mean, hell, some of you probably already knew this stuff if you browse her records, too. But I'll be getting some good dirt on her.
One day.
They won't always do something amusing the first time you film them, I suppose.
That's exactly why I'm not going into detail.
Because it was just a bunch of dry crap that makes no sense. Work out, paint nails, work out, do make up, work out, wrestle hair, work out, see Ted, work out, eat French bread.
I guess she tries too hard to keep up her figure. I suppose that happens when you're 31 and posing as 16.
Megurine Luki.
And Rinto.
(This fool….)
So, like I said, he tends to go out with the genderbent guys every once and while, right? That means Rinto, Mikuo, and Meito.
Well, I was careful to put a bug WITHIN his jacket – the pink one he's always wearing, because it matches his 'manly hair,' as he'll put it. And not only did I have audio from their conversations, but I also had a GPS tracker. These boys….ohohoho.
One word.
DEAD.
Except for Luki, he's kind of forever alone.
But Lenka, Neru, (Rosie-chan), and Kaiko are gonna kill these boys when I say this.
Their Friday night outings aren't just a trip to the bar for drinks and guy talk.
Sure, maybe it's half that.
But the bar….?
It's actually a strip club
Yup.
Join me in laughing at them, you guys, while their girlfriends beat the living crap out of them.
Before they even got out of the yard of our mansion, Luki was all, "Man, I can NOT wait to see some of those hottie girls again."
To which Mikuo replied, "I bet we've visited so often that they'll give us you know for free."
WHAT! HOW OFTEN DO THESE BOYS CHEAT ON THEIR SUPPOSED SWEETHEARTS? EVERY SINGLE FRIDAY NIGHT?!
I'm willing to bet they've gotten someone pregnant in all that time.
Luki, you dirty, dirty boy. AND RINTO! I would've never expected such a terrible things from someone who loves to paint faces on oranges and sing "Dango Daikazoku." (Yes, that's what I learned from sticking a camera in his room and spying on him while Lenka was out. Manly, huh? What could you expect to come from a guy who wears hairclips, anyway?)
Oliver.
We all love a sexy blond boy. But let's face the facts, people. Not only does Captain No Shoes look a girl, but he also tends to act like one. And have you heard the kid's voice?
Not even Piko sounds so much like a 10 year old girl.
Oliver. He's the kind of kid you wanna have some Tapioca with. Or…in his English case, tea. He's funny, sweet, sensitive, great at causing amusing arguments, smells wonderful, good with pets, always there to lend a hand if you're hurt…every girl's dream boy.
But he does have a secret.
Everyone has a secret. But just like everyone I've spied on for you guys, Oliver's deepest, darkest secret WILL BE SPILLED.
Allow me to explain.
Not everybody has such bushy hair that's hidden beneath his swag-a-licious Captain's hat. Not everybody has such huge eyes of dreamy gold that could melt any girl's heart. Not everybody is as slender as he, nor do they have legs as smooth. Not everybody can show off such difficult dance moves like he can – you guys have seen his video with Len, Piko, and Ryuto, right? YouTube their names together; you'll find it.
And trust me, not every boy will sing Tsukema Tsukeru. (And for those of you who can't translate or don't want to, it's about putting, putting, putting on your falsies.)
Now please don't hate me, Oliver fangirls. Hold your fangirl death beams and don't kill me yet. This isn't official.
I'm just saying.
Has anyone EVER seen Oliver and Olivia in the same room together?
Kagamine Len.
Len, Len, Len. You live in secrecy – in terror of being found out. Every day is like a new test – can you keep from being discovered while you go to Gumi's room, to Kuroneko's room, to – OOOOH. What's this I managed to discover? You visit Piko, too?
Is there something behind these meetings, Len? We all want to know. And we all expect you to tell us the truth. Because, the fact is, you're just a man-whore who's shaping all these girls into whores.
(Yes, Piko, that includes you.)
Gumi is a great person, but since I've begun to spy on her, I've learned some naughty things about the girl. She's…not who she seems to be.
Kuroneko….? Well, I don't know what to say on her. Cat freak, tapioca lover, Len-obsessed chick – what's new? Nothing.
Anyways, Len, you are a dirty, dirty boy. You never left the Spice phase. You wish you did, because we all know how much you truly care about Rin.
But when he and Rin have a fight – or she decides to be the man in the relationship – Len goes to whichever girl will take him in for a little 'stress-relief.'
(Let me tell you, things that have been heard cannot be unheard.)
I dunno, this is a very…difficult…subject to explain. It's not like I can sit here and write details on every single squeak and gasp and noise that I heard. I'm trying to keep this PG-13. Damn, I am soooo glad I decided to just bug him. I was gonna hide a secret camera on his clothes, but it's obvious that whatever I was to witness with that would've scarred me for life.
Guys, that was the luckiest choice of my life.
Thoughts?
Aside from spying, I need some kind of random segments to write for on here regularly. Because I think spying is gonna get difficult. They'll see it coming and be prepared.
I need something cool to do, like name a Vocaloid of the Week or something, in honor of some idiot who decided to do something hysterical, like shove carrots up Len's nose while he was asleep and take pictures. *cough*Gumiya*cough*
Or the one (KAITO) who thought it would be funny to trip Miku while she was wearing a skirt for a panty-flash….Oh, wait. All of the boys do that.
It is pretty funny to watch her fall, I have to admit.
Anyways, give me ideas on random segments or something, and I'll just continue to write some of the gossip and stuff that flies around the mansion. (Of course, most of it will probably be scandalous relationship crap. What else can you expect from a mansion full of teenagers – or in Teto's case, people who look like teenagers?
My next update will surely be more organized now that I've figured out how I'll be doing this.
Oh, yes. Lil Red's planning for great things.
Please, leave comments, my little red Supporters!
~LilRed
9 comments
SexyShota: I'll bet my life savings that she's Yuki.
RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) Yuki doesn't even know half of those words.
SexyShota: (reply to RinnyRinRin) That explains the whole "everyone's differentin private than in public."
Frenchie: (reply to SexyShota) Do you guys even believe a word of her LIES?
SexyShota: (reply to Frenchie) Sure do, y'old hag. ;P
Frenchie: (reply to SexyShota) SHE'S LYING, I TELL YOU!
RinnyRinRin: (reply to Fenchie) Shouldn't we be trying to get rid of her instead of gossiping about this? You'll make her feel like she's winning.
SexyShota: (reply to RinnyRinRin) Right. To Yuki's room!
RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) Oh by the way, Len…you're so screwed when I get my hands on you.